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Almost as unceremonious as his past 2 victories to finish off the season, Tom "the turtle" Herman has been removed as the head coach of the Texas Longhorns. 
 
We don't really wish you anything, but to get the hell out of here Tom. 
 
TOM HERMAN GTFO.gif
 
 
 

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South Austin

Certifiably Surly

I am Jack’s raging bile duct.

oh_snap

Legacy Members

Can you guys stop talking about Sark. I’m trying my damned hardest to block that out for a few hours and revel in the joy that Fuckface Mensa was fired. 
We can handwring about Sark later. Let us rejoice for a bit that Vodka Tom got what he deserved. 

Ryno

Legacy Members

Made the decision to not renew my season tickets pretty goddamned easy. Alabama’s offense is absolutely insane and maybe he ends up being a stud, but that’s just about the least exciting hire I could have imagined.

Jive Turkey

Burnt Ends
4 minutes ago, Kel Varnsen said:

We better have gotten him cheap

yep.  if it's a $3 million a year deal with incentives and a low buyout clause, then sure.  give it a go.  but if he makes as much as or more than Herman, then we severely overpaid.

Hiphopopotamos

New Members
1 minute ago, JFKFC said:

Time to start the list of who we hire in 2023 after this no-talent drunk leads us to back-to-back losing seasons. I guess aspiring to beat Iowa State and TCU was just too much for CDC.

He didn't have back to back losing seasons in Washington - taking over a team that had won a total of 12 games in the 5 years before he got there.  This isn't a Charlie Strong hire.

Leeroy Jenkins

Legacy Members

Yet another example of how the “$9.95ers” know jack shit. 

Skipper

Certifiably Surly
1 minute ago, Newy25 said:

It’s funny watching people look at his win-loss record and that’s the level of nuance they put into their analysis. He took over a winless Washington team and a USC team under major NCAA sanctions. At one point he only had 50 or 60 scholarships to use. He did miracles under the circumstances. 

He is an elite recruiter who will hire plus coaches. The downside has nothing to do with his capacity to recruit and coach. He has more upside in that capacity than anyone this side of Meyer on our list. The downside are his personal demons. Not his ability as a coach. 

Absolutely this.   FAR more upside than any option on the table if he can handle the pressure of the job without turning back to the booze.

texifornia

Certifiably Surly
1 minute ago, Shaggybevo said:

Most incredible thing, is that Surly hasn't crashed yet

Already did, and @immamac did some quick IT juju

CooterBrown

Full Members
What kind of offense and defense does he run?
 
 

Beer pong on offense and quarters defense.

phdhorn

Legacy Members

Just checked the transfer portal, no text, but just this:

closeup2.jpg

CooterBrown

Full Members
What kind of offense and defense does he run?
 
 

Beer pong on offense and quarters defense.

bullet

Full Members
27 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

What in the chicken fucking hell?  I guess that CDC has taken leave of his senses.

He forgot that part of his job was selling Big Cigars, not kissing their feet.

Fire CDC!  Fire Plonsky!

Poe It Up

crowd sourced

This is bullshit, but maybe he brings some SEC bagmen. 

CooterBrown

Full Members
What kind of offense and defense does he run?
 
 

Beer pong on offense and quarters defense.

TXSG8R

Legacy Members
1 minute ago, Lonestar88 said:

Feels like when an NFL team hires a shitty Belichick assistant. Sarkisian had success at Bama because he was at Bama. He hasn’t had much success anywhere else.

This. A lot of coaches look really good when they have a roster full of 5 stars to throw around. we hired this dumb motherfucker largely because he went 38-3 as Bama’s OC.
 

image.thumb.jpeg.1b4967c75d98d1518f7a46615a997159.jpeg

Nope

Legacy Members

“Hey mistress (Urban), now you see I was serious about leaving my wife and you’re the only one who can prevent me from spiraling. Oh not interested now? Fuck it I don’t care I’ll do it...I’ll marry that hooker right over there I don’t give a shit.”

clapclapclap

Legacy Members

Probably the best available for immediate recruiting of the ACTUALLY AVAILABLE candidates.  At the current hottest cfb program that's the best pipeline to the NFL.  A gamble, but there's logic.

runthebone

Burnt Ends

Feldman didn't confirm shit, he said Texas is looking closely at Sark.

 

Also, I don't want FCB to blow his perfect record.

Horn80

Legacy Members
Just now, Skipper said:

Absolutely this.   FAR more upside than any option on the table if he can handle the pressure of the job without turning back to the booze.

If he could handle the pressure, he never would have become a drunk in the fucking first place.  

Rip76

Legacy Members
10 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

 

That’s not good.

Leeroy Jenkins

Legacy Members
4 minutes ago, Shaggybevo said:

Most incredible thing, is that Surly hasn't crashed yet

You are late to the show. It did when the news first hit. 

Texas

Legacy Members

Del Conte wanted to hire a coach he'd have leverage over. Wasn't happening with Urb.

Sark will be paid less and have strict wording in his contract to keep him in line. Small buyout ect. Sark willing to accept cause of opportunity to be HC of blue blood.

Vertigo

Full Members
1 minute ago, mdmost said:

This could be an incredible hire or a spectacular failure. Getting Saban's probable successor isn't something to turn your nose up at. The problem is all of you spent over a month thinking Urban was still happening. You only have yourselves to blame. 

Agree with this. This may be Pete Carroll 2.0 when everyone lost their shit over hiring him at USC. i actually like Sark as the number two option to Urban. I think he will go toe to toe with Riley pretty well, Brian Kelley would have been Riley's dick warmer. 

bullet

Full Members
28 minutes ago, Burt Macklin said:

This is either going to be amazing or absolutely terrible. There is no in between. 

Well there's David McWilliams and John Mackovic.  He's not necessarily going to be as bad as Charlie Strong.  But there's no reason to think he will be as successful as Fred Akers, Mack Brown or Tom Hermann.  Absolutely no reason.

Drew

Certifiably Surly

So it’s a lateral move. Maybe?

God I hate my life

2 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Already did, and @immamac did some quick IT juju

yeah sorry for the first 5 mins after the announcement. something weird happened and the tubes got clogged. I unclogged them should be humming nice. It'll be pretty okay from here on though.

Keef

Legacy Members

On the positive side, Sark is supposed to be beloved by his players.  And the UT players almost uniformly despised Tom and I bet a bunch more were hitting the transfer portal during the offseason.  

thepop

Legacy Members
4 minutes ago, Ryno said:

Made the decision to not renew my season tickets pretty goddamned easy. Alabama’s offense is absolutely insane and maybe he ends up being a stud, but that’s just about the least exciting hire I could have imagined.

Pretty sure you could have imagined a less exciting hire.

Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Guests

We hired him 90 minutes ago and already gave him an extension.  'Cause...'Texas'!  

millhouse

Burnt Ends

Maybe sark will spurn us for an nfl gig? Nahhhh

Hiphopopotamos

New Members

A bunch of players coming out in support of Carrington.  Not a whole lot of support for Herman - though a few former players have offered a 'thanks' on twitter.

Pato del Muerto

Certifiably Surly

Hate this hire. But I liked the last two hires, so I’m conflicted about my own feelings and what they mean 

Post Oak

Legacy Members

Fuck it.  I'm not enthused but at least its different

 

T’Boo Ted Marshall

Legacy Members
2 minutes ago, Rip76 said:

That’s not good.

It should be.  Any offensive skill players should applaud this if it's true.  

texifornia

Certifiably Surly
Just now, Hiphopopotamos said:

A bunch of players coming out in support of Carrington.  Not a whole lot of support for Herman - though a few former players have offered a 'thanks' on twitter.

A recruiting witch like Sark isn't firing Carrington in a million years

StruggleBus

Full Members

Fuck all of the raging pussies in this thread. WE ARE GOING TO WIN

Drew

Certifiably Surly

So it’s a lateral move. Maybe?

God I hate my life

SDG

Certifiably Surly

Looking at former players twitter it doesn't seem there's a lot of love lost for Tom.  Many current players are in shock though.  

Drew

Certifiably Surly

We’re Texas...?

Reagan1k

Certifiably Surly
3 minutes ago, Horn80 said:

If he could handle the pressure, he never would have become a drunk in the fucking first place.  

Not true.  Hire aside, this isn’t correct unless it was surly humor.   In that case, carry on. 

Skipper

Certifiably Surly
3 minutes ago, Horn80 said:

If he could handle the pressure, he never would have become a drunk in the fucking first place.  

Hopefully working under fucking Saban without falling off helps our odds he can handle it.

Wanker Bob

banned

Man your University is a giant shit show. 

Life never rewards impatience and y'all are the poster children for impatience. Caviar expectations with Big Mac intelligence. Paying 25 million to send away Herman just to hire this jabroni? 

matthew perry laughing GIF by Nick At Nite

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