My counter to your semi-lucid post is this:
This year will be ATM's version of the 2010 Texas Longhorns.
The chickens are coming home to roost for your hillbilly band of goobers in College Station this season. All of the skin of your teeth wins, the loose recruiting plan, the poor self-scouting, the ridiculous and myopic expectations of record and performance, largely because "we always seem to find a way to get to 8 win (except last year, but Jimbo!)". All of it is going to boomerang back and kick your ploughboys squarely in the nuts.
At QB, I was told yesterday by someone with friends on the staff that Mond is starting in large part because they need someone who can plausibly run for their lives behind the charmin soft OL. He's also best friends with Marchiol, and they don't want another canary singing on the transfer papers. Absurd anti-aggie fantasy? Probably. Entertaining? Certainly. More than a grain of truth mixed in? You know it.
I dig Williams and I don't get why anyone else doesn't. That dipshit can jitterbug and pimpwalk with the best of them. I don't see how he stays healthy and productive getting 25-30 touches a game, but I am sure ol'Jimbo Aggins will figure out something. The rest of your TB/FB crew is a sad representation of FBS football. Multiple walk-ons, that even you are lauding pre-emptively, against the Clemson, South Carolina and SEC West defenses. Strong to quite strong bullshit right there.
The TE situation is your Garrett Gilbert. The writers covering the team are hyping up a guy with obvious flaws that are going to be his undoing at this level, and the fanbase is eating it up. Jace Sternberger has a better chance of walking on the moon than he does of being a 3rd Team All SEC TE or better.
The WRs are Ausbon and boogereaters with cleats.
Austin Bryant and Clelin Ferrell are going to drop more smooth buttfuckings on your OTs than the corps at a livestock show on a Friday night. Texas is hoping to achieve mediocrity with its OL this year, and that's a bridge too far for what you should be hoping for with the fatasses your clown of an OL coach will be tossing out there.
Everyone must still be undefeated because the list of aggie posters and writers touting Daylon Mack as though he's anything but a bucket of lard on a bad day is long and indistinguished. It's a sad commentary that you guys view your DL as the strength of the team. This is what a smart, tubby bride does. She stacks her wedding party with women named Griselda and Gertrude and ensures that not one of them comes in under 3 bills. Suddenly, she looks pretty fucking good by comparison. This is your DL when viewed against the backdrop of the rest of your team.
The LB crew has some talent, but they're an affront to the concept of depth. The minute Hines or Olaka shatter into a million little pieces of grass, you're forced to play walk-ons or Pryor, who you bought years ago and should be asking for your money back.
The secondary flat out looks like Candi's leathery ass pressed against a mirror. I can't wait to see Leon O'Neal trotted out at some point because "it can't get any worse" and then someone like Auburn plays banjo on his ass to the tune of 60 points.
I like your kicker though.
Northwestern State - Aggie W, replete with chest-beating and conch-blowing as shouts of "Jimbooooooo" waft through the Brazos River valley.
Clemson - Aggie L, Clemson goes in bone dry. Only Kelly Bryant can keep Clemson under 40, so he does.
La Monroe - Aggie W, Jimbo escapes this game by the skin of his yellow teeth and your fanbase cites ethereal shit like "learning curve".
Alabama - Aggie L, a weaker than expected Alabama defense holds ATM to under 20 while an explosive Bama offense has a hootenanny on ATM's ball sack.
Arkansas - Aggie L, unrequited love is a hideous thing when an aggie male is on the receiving end, and Chad Morris knows his way around an inferiority complex like the good aggie he is. Arkansas pretty much plays the weakest non-conference schedule of all the P5 programs and this is the game they've been tuning up for since he was hired.
Kentucky - Aggie L, the ball starts rolling downhill here, but really, UK has recruited better than ATM for a few years when attrition is accounted for and the retarded Stoops brother somehow is turning them into a perennial bowl team. Mike Elko starts putting out feelers for a HC role at New Mexico or Arkansas State after this game.
South Carolina - Aggie L, I think Will Muschamp actually jacks off to the concept of putting W's on aggie.
Miss State - Aggie L, another DL that is going to force the tv feed to shut down because of explicit sexual content. MSU might be fined by the FCC after this game.
Auburn - Aggie L, after this game, Outside The Lines runs a story on the out of control spending in college sports and features ATM as the Beverly Hillbillies of the college landscape. Aggies are actually proud of the feature in the aftermath.
Ole Miss - Aggie W, a sense of pride kicks in and Lacamera kicks the gamewinner in a 48-47 shootout, as Jimbo's offense finds a blind acorn against a paper thin Ole Miss defensive depth chart.
UAB - Aggie L, hoisted by your own retard, you scheduled a program you thought was a patsy that's actually a 9 win bowl team with convicts up and down the line-up and they've been pointing at this game all season.
LSU - Aggie L, Viceroy Edwardo Beaujolais Orgeron, IV brings his brain trust and a thirsty, lifeclinging prayer of fight into the AlsoRan Bowl in the hopes of sealing a 6th win, a real bowl bid, and one more year as HC on the bayou. Jimbo Fisher is shown looking on towards the final seconds ticking off, down by 35, and looking as though a hand grenade has gone off 15 feet away and with his ears ringing and mouth wide open, he can't hear a fucking thing.
Texas ATM goes 3-9 and Fisher buys a top 5 class, preaching "wait til 2020-something" and you guys all nod your heads, knowingly and in unison.
WHOOP!!!