https://www.wbur.org/onlyagame/2018/12/14/lin-wang-charles-barkley?fbclid=IwAR3hvOJBdj5J1u6peDdHzK7QmgUfaezyJDZQmW3sCONnT1Hzkw5VESX9AjE
My dad moved to Iowa from China in the ’90s. He felt that Barkley and him had similar experiences.
"So, to me, as an Asian in the U.S., I felt as long as I do a good job, people will respect me," my dad said.
Barkley and my dad both worked hard — so hard, they believed, that the color of their skin didn’t matter. In Chinese, we’d say that dad sometimes would 胡说八道(hú shuō bā dào) — that meant that sometimes he was known for spewing rubbish. I know that basketball fans might say Barkley often does the same.
In June 2015, Barkley's mother passed away. When my dad heard the news, he looked up the funeral details and hopped on a plane to Leeds, Alabama.
"It ain’t easy to get to those places," Barkley said. "I’m from a very small town."
And my dad showed up for his friend. Afterward, he went to dinner with Barkley and his family.
"For your dad to take the time to come to the funeral meant a great deal to me," Barkley said.
Then, in May 2016, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He had tumors in his heart.
I took that fall off from school. My dad and I watched mobster movies together. Action movies. Kung Fu movies. When the credits rolled, we’d flip to a basketball game. Just me and him, watching a lot of TV in our living room.
Days passed by. Then months.
Then, it was two years.
My dad never told Barkley that he was sick.
"I called him and got mad at him when I found out," Barkley said. "I was, like, 'Dude, we’re friends. You can tell me. You’re not bothering me. You know me well enough — if you were bothering me, I would tell you you were bothering me.' "
What Barkley didn’t know was that my dad watched him almost every night on TNT. And while he rested and healed, my dad was laughing along with Barkley. He kept my dad company.
The NBA Finals
June 2018. NBA Finals. The Golden State Warriors vs. the Cleveland Cavaliers. My dad was staying in palliative care at the hospital. He loved the Warriors. I visited and read him sports highlights.
He didn’t get to watch J.R. Smith’s late mistake in Game 1 live. I tried to get him to laugh about Smith dribbling away from the hoop because he thought his team was ahead.
But it was a Sunday afternoon, and my dad was tired. The summer light filled his room. Then, the day faded, and dusk began to enter.
After it was all over, I went through my dad’s phone and texted all his friends. I wrote:
The funeral was the day after the NBA Finals. My dad’s favorite team, the Golden State Warriors, had won the night before.
The funeral was set near the outskirts of Iowa City in a house by the woods. I was talking to my childhood friend when she suddenly looked stunned. I turned to look behind me.
And standing there — drenched in sweat from the Iowa summer, towering over everyone in the room at 6 feet, 6 inches tall — was Charles Barkley.
"I had not met anybody in your family," Barkley said. "I didn’t know anybody there."
Everyone watched, astonished, as this man — this man we only knew from TV, this worldwide celebrity — walked down the aisle, looked at us and sighed.
'Why My Dad?'
Later, after it all, I texted Barkley and asked him: "Why my dad? Why did he matter so much to you?" And recently, I called him up and asked: "What did you even have to talk about?"
"Well, I think — first of all, clearly, he was a fan," Barkley said. "But I think the main thing we talked about was you and your brother."
"What did you guys talk about — what did he say?" I asked.
"I think it was more that he was proud," Barkley said. "Because I’ve got a daughter, too. I’m just really, really proud of her, because I think she’s a good person. And your dad was so proud of you and your brother.
"Listen: as an adult — and you’re too young to understand this now — all you want is your kids to be happy. That’s what you work for. To give your kids everything in life."
The more Charles Barkley and I talked, I realized just how close he and my dad were. Barkley knew so much about me and my life — even though this was the first time he and I had ever talked.
(Courtesy Shirley Wang)
"It gives me great memories and great joy to know that I was a friend of his," Barkley said. "Just hearing about him at the funeral — what he had accomplished and what he was trying to help other people accomplish, just made me even — I wished he bragged more about himself."
"So, let me get this straight: you were impressed by him?" I asked.
"Yeah," Barkley said.
'I Was Blessed To Know Him'
At the funeral, people shared memories of my dad and made me realize that, for example, he was not just a cat litter chemist — but an industry-changing scientist with a Ph.D. And not just an immigrant — but someone who reached out to Chinese newcomers. And not just a thoughtful guy — but someone people trusted for advice. I realized that, even after he passed away, I would continue to learn things about my dad.
Before Barkley and I hung up, he had one more thing to say:
"Hey, listen. You stay in touch. Please tell your mom I said hello. Give her a big kiss. Tell your brother I said hello. And listen: just keep doing you. It’s your time now. Don’t forget that. That’s the most important thing.
"Your dad prepared you to take care of yourself. He prepared you for that. I was blessed to know him — and know you, too."
"Thank you for your time," I said.
"You're welcome, baby. You take it easy, you hear?"
"You too."
I know how much his friendship with Charles Barkley meant to my dad. It was not just a relationship with a celebrity — it shed light on the possibilities of this world. A world where someone like him could just say something cool, something charming, and befriend someone like Charles Barkley.
I’m so glad that now I get to share my dad’s No. 1 dinner party story.
(Courtesy Shirley Wang)