Time for a video breakdown:
:17 in and she's using lightly salted fritos with less sodium. Already losing points here. Also refers to them as "corn chips" and says you can use whatever brand you want. /trumpwrong.gif
:27 in and she's reaching for the Wolf brand chili. Now, I would like to dock all remaining points here, but to her credit she opts for the no beans. Let's see where this goes.
:42 pans over the turkey wolf brand chili while holding back laughter. Points added.
:59 alright, so she's actually using her homemade "Texas" style chili which looks like a mix of diarrhea and canned dog food. I would just go with the Wolf brand at this point.
1:15 making a "cheese sauce" with velveeta. Now, I have nothing against velveeta. In fact, velveeta mac and cheese is one of my guilty pleasures. But for frito pie this is obviously an error - shredded cheese only, preferrably a Mexican blend.
2:03 oh Christ now she's warming up ranch style beans to use as a "topping". This is going downhill quickly.
2:22 strange ingredients montage with awful background music. Points added for diced japs as well as onions. Decent knife work. Going for shredded cheese now, which makes the velveeta sauce seem superfluous. Now going with canned, pickled jalapenos. Strange to include two jap variations. Seems like an either or type dish to me.
3:28 onto the plating. Bowl is way too small. Not even child-sized. She needs to quit kidding herself, doesn't look like she's missing any meals.
3:47 runny-shit dogfood mixture coming back into play. She has a recipe for it in the description in case you're looking to lose all self-respect as a man. Tops it with the velveeta shit. Looks fucking awful. Would only eat if I was literally starving.
4:25 onto "2nd way I like it". Maybe she can redeem herself a bit here (not likely). More commie Fritos, shredded cheddar cheese (points, but now she's going cheese first instead of dogfood first - make up your mind, woman).
4:45 oh fuck she added beans. I would recommend she throws it in the garbage. Not even worthy to give to an animal at this point. Would be inhumane.
4:53 oh Jesus fuck now she's adding MORE beans. And trying to blame it on her husband. Typical wife behavior. I should have known from the start. "Well I don't like beans in my chili, but oh my gosh, Frank just HAS to have them so that's how we eat it!". Yeah, no one is believing your harpy tale you velveeta-crusted bean peddler.
5:06 added fresh diced onions. Only redeeming part of the preparation. Now she's adding, get this, ONE pickeld jap. Just one. Points are in the negatives at this point. Also pronouncing "jalapenos" like she's cultured or some shit.
5:15 okay onto preparation method #3. This is her last chance. She's waxing poetic about Friday night-light frito pie. I can relate to this. Half a point.
5:40 adding Mexican crema and diced fresh japs. This is the only edible concoction she has made so far.
6:00 she has now added cilantro, avocado and lime juice. This is no longer frito pie, and yet it is the only thing she has made that I would consider eating. Half a point.
Overall: 0.5/10. Would not eat or rewatch. Frank, time to call your lawyer and start hiding assets. This marriage isn't lasting.