Dearest Bertha,
The reports are true and the worst has happened. I should have you hear the truth from mine own lips, rather than the papers of those wicked newsman. Some of the lads and lasses of our group have killed Mother God and decorated her face with the powder that glistens, and her body with the illuminating mechanical apparatuses of Christmas, so that we can see her and offer tributes without the aid of torches. She was secured inside the bag of sleeping, as Clem couldn’t keep his hands and his pecker from worshipping her holy temple in an inappropriate way.
The group had become particular about the words coming out of her mouth, and the resulting action has led to my feared prognosis being proven correct. The winds were rife with rumors, and we quickly broke camp and began our march. After a short pause of half a day, I felt myself completely vigorous and rested, so that I, after some hours of rest, should again be able to put behind me five or six miles without any aggravation, for which I initially thanked the Universal High Soul and Mother God. After the march, our group numbers four men and three women.
Unfortunately, even with our march, we were unable to have a good opportunity to put things in order, and the local officers of the law quickly ensnared us in their cuffs of hands.
I have asked those officers of the law to keep you instructed as to my condition. I am now fully focused on repairing my clothing and occupying myself with the protection of my posterior, as some of the residents of my prison have taken a liking to me. Their tongues ask me about Mother God, but their eyes have a more personal interest.
I have several times done services for others to earn the friendship of those who share my enslaved condition in the hopes that they may protect me, but it is to no avail, and I fear that the main assault is but a few hours away.
My one good fortune is that my sense of smell is no longer being assaulted by the emanations arising from Mother God slowly joining her ancestors.
My love always,
Jebediah