Seriously for a second, let me help you out bro. I know you meant well, but this is truly a low brow effort. There is a ton of low hanging fruit readily available for the picking had you just grabbed the proverbial step-stool and just reached your stubby little arms up and snagged a few. You could've come with Steve Sarkisian being a drunk, us being on our 4th corch in a decade, or even how we have been wandering the CFB desert since you joined the SEC. The only problem is this isn't Texags. We aren't a bunch of sunshine pumpers over here. Any dressing down of us we've already done ourselves. However, after taking the time to sign up and tapping your index finger on your nose in deep thought, you decided to go with the above posts. So let me show you how it's done.
The Fighting Texas A&M Aggies are now sitting at 82 years since they last hoisted a NC trophy. The University of Texas at Austin, you know the Flagship university of the state with roughly half the acceptance rate as your precious aggy, would have to smash 3 of its 4 NC trophies, and then go another 66 years of what you've been giggling at the last decade in order to match the ineptitude in College Station. Aggy is the real life manifestation of Groundhog's Day. Imagine waking up every morning, despite never seeing the Aggies successful in football your entire life, and still believing the ags are gonna win. Purgatory sounds about right. However, there is one thing your football team and fanbase has done exceptionally well, and that is provide laughs for us for damn near 3 generations. And for that, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. There are things that can be counted on. The sun will rise in the morning, and the Aggy Annual Rollercoaster Ride(tm) will come off the tracks somewhere in October. The clock is ticking ag, and winter is coming. Winter is coming. It's going to get cold in the SEC West soon. You should build a bonfire.
See, that wasn't difficult at all. I took the low hanging fruit and just tossed it into a paragraph, capping it off with an insensitive comment about your bonfire. Now take a few notes and come back under a new name and try a bit harder.