Somebody is a salty bitch
SEC Round-Up: League counting on its villain to restore order
By Olin Buchanan
An unpleasant week of Southeastern Conference football is followed by a nauseating notion this week.
After going 1-3 in marquee Week 1 matchups, the SEC is counting on… Texas…to defend its honor in a top-10 clash with defending national champion Michigan.
Go ahead and retch.
That shouldn’t be the case. The powerful SEC is college football’s bullies. Its teams typically terrorize opponents.
That was before Texas A&M fell to Notre Dame, Miami mauled Florida and USC upset LSU.
True, No. 1 Georgia’s predictable 34-3 beatdown of Clemson and Vanderbilt’s shocking upset of Virginia Tech — sorry, not a marquee matchup — saved face to some degree.
The SEC doesn’t save face. The SEC steps on faces with a hobnail boot and breaks noses.
Instead, the SEC looks toward a new member that has looked down on the SEC.
Recall, last May, Texas athletic director Chris Del Conte suggested the Longhorns’ annual clash with Oklahoma is bigger than the “Iron Bowl” and “The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.”
Then, in July, Texas quarterback Quinn Ewers declared games against the Longhorns were everybody’s Super Bowl. Apparently, Ewers is unaware five different SEC teams have won national championships since Texas last won one.
But the fact remains that the SEC needs Texas to restore order on Saturday in Ann Arbor where Michigan has notched 23 consecutive victories.
“These (Michigan) guys know how to win,” Texas coach Steve Sarkisian said. “You can see it in their style of play. They play with a great deal of confidence. They believe in one another. So, it’s a heck of a challenge for our team.
“What I think Saturday will do for us is serve as a bit of a barometer of where we’re at as a football team this fall.
“We’re going to get challenged in all three phases. What do we need to work on, and where do we need to keep growing to get ourselves prepared for the Southeastern Conference?”
Even a trip to Ann Arbor may not fully prepare Texas for the grind of the SEC, where it “just means more” and hostile crowds are “just more mean.”
But on Saturday, the Southeastern Conference will be cheering on the Longhorns.
Well, the SEC office suits who allowed the Longhorns in will.
SEC fan bases in College Station, Fayetteville, Norman and probably Knoxville and Baton Rouge won’t. The very idea would be just too nauseating