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Sandman

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  1. One thing my wife does that makes me rage is when I ask her a simple question, but she replies with an answer to a question I didn't ask. Like I'll ask her what time we're meeting her family for dinner and she'll say "My sister is at the mall". Like WTF. I was in Walmart today and found a kindred spirit. An older couple, mid to late 60s, was shopping together. The woman had grabbed two cans of this fancy soda and she turned to put them in the cart. He husband said, very calmly and gently, "Would you get four of those, please?". She looked at him and said "They're 50 cents each". He didn't miss a beat, and in the same calm and patient manner "Ok. Get four of them, please". That fucker has probably been dealing with that shit for 45 years. Poor guy. After we got a ways away from them, I told my wife about their interaction. She declined to comment.
  2. Sandman replied to Derka's topic in Basketball
    Is Kelvin trying to get fired? Kelvin Sampson bemoans Houston NIL budget: 'We're poor' - ESPN
  3. As an IU fan living in Oklahoma, let me tell you why I'm extra pumped about winning the championship: ou fans are front-running bitches, for the most part. So many 60+ year old men wearing their softball champs shirts around town. But if you're an Oklahoma State fan (which I am, became one after we moved here when I was in high school), or a fan of any other school, really, you can't talk about any other sports success with ou fans. They just say "yeah but footbawl!!". I mention OSU winning the golf title recently and you get "who gives a fuck about golf? Footbawl is what matters!". Well, now I don't have to hear about it. I can just say "You fucksticks can't go 16-0? Pull your panties out of your asscracks and try harder!". Any time ou wins a game, I'm gonna say "You ain't won shit in 25 fucking years. No player on your team was alive the last time you won, you fucking bums".
  4. I watched Buck Rogers as a kid and I remember on new years day 1987, I thought "1987 is when the show creators thought we might be at the forefront of space exploration. Let's see what scientific wonders await the human race this year". Fuck.
  5. I Got Standards Bro - Female Delusion Calculator Women just don't understand that things like height is just not that common.
  6. As a 6'6 man, they're full of shit. Many times, I have shown up to a date and they realize that they, in fact, did not want a power forward after all. Women just can't judge height for shit, especially short women.
  7. Texas has 1 championship in the last 50+ years. No one is that afraid.
  8. My new plan seems to be working. I answer any fishy looking numbers by saying "Department of Homeland Security, can I help you?". They hang up immediately.
  9. Sandman replied to Hate's topic in Lulz
    I woke up screaming in the middle of the night with a horrible charley horse in my calf. I could barely straighten my leg. I don't know how but I fell back asleep a few minutes later. Today, we've been out and about and it's sore as shit as I walk around.
  10. Or you toss something in the wastebasket but it hits whatever is in there and bounces out onto the floor.
  11. That's some Angry Birds shit right there.
  12. Miami could win the game, but "very easily" ? Give me a fucking break.
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