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Surly Horns

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MissingInAction

Certifiably Surly
  • Joined

Everything posted by MissingInAction

  1. I cancelled the cock. Is this ep worth stealing?
  2. I'd be on that shit like a spider monkey.
  3. I am out of blow with two hookers a dog and a fifth ocrown royal.
  4. I investigate myself every day. Always disappointed but willing to change the fleshlight mold.
  5. My car measured 26 when I started it up a few minutes ago. Hookers and blow have been retrieved. Time to party.
  6. What the fucking fuck is that?!?!?!
  7. Cold weather is woke.
  8. Hoping for more shitting.
  9. 1I raced into town ahead of the storm. As temperatures plunged into the upper 30's, I gunned the engine, hoping against hope that the shelves wouldn't be picked clean by the panicked denizens of this doomed city. My worst fears were realized when I found only free-range whole chicken breasts left, the pasture-raised organic broilers gone, snatched up by hollow-eyed and desperate men and women who stared down the long corridor of the weekend, and saw only death. A cackling old woman with eyes like frozen starlight ripped the last package of pre-made mirepoix from my basket and hobbled away, screeching of the end, and the deep, dark cold to come. I would have to dice my own vegetables, this night. Joe at the checkout line began his familiar, "Thanks, see ya next time," then faltered, unable to meet my gaze. Would there ever be a "next time"? Neither Joe nor I could say. In the parking lot a man stabbed another man for a Duraflame Log, a scented candle and a wheel of Belgian goat's milk cheese. I hurried past. I flew home into the teeth of the approaching storm front, which spread its gray wings across the sky and bore down with a grim promise of Sleet. Icey, icey Sleet. And the possibility of Flurries. I am home, safe for now, taking small comfort from the gentle flicker of Netflix, and tumbler of Special Reserve Bourbon. Safe, but for how long? Outside, the cold creeps closer. God help us all
  10. "I was just following orders." Probably
  11. The cunts are here in Texas as well. San Marcos, Bryan, Lockhart, etc
  12. I'm waiting to be cured from cancer said the French waiting for Americans during ww1. Just watched The Great War on prime., so I am totally an expert. The parallel of our situation to history is well told.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

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