Thanks all -- very valuable feedback. I actually had a great conversation with a rehab facility tonight. And I'm researching local groups to talk with. I feel really good about reaching out.
OK. I can't do it anymore. I don't know how I'm going to get through this, but I have to. I cannot go inpatient... it's either outpatient or tapering. Been a heavy drinker for about a decade, mostly just at night. I can't remember the last night I went without a single drink. It's been years. As I moved up the corporate ladder, and became the sole breadwinner, and had more and more kids, the pressures mounted and this was my medication. I've been reading this thread all day, and I appreciate all of the honesty.
Any other advice?