Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

1 hour ago, Steel Shank said:

HOUSTON (AP) -- Authorities say a 26-year-old Houston woman who was driving an SUV toward her children in an apparent game of "chicken" struck and killed her 3-year-old son.

Harris County prosecutors said Friday that Lexus Stagg is charged with criminally negligent homicide in the June 11 death of her son.

They say surveillance video from an apartment complex shows Stagg getting into a Lincoln Navigator, then backing up. As her three young children began running after her, she drove the SUV forward. Two children moved out of the way, but the 3-year-old was caught under a tire.

Sometimes kids have to learn the hard way. I'm sure she was constantly harping about the dangers of cars, lil muthafuckas wouldn't listen...well now they know.

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

Wife's office is in an office park and each unit has two small offices, a small reception area and bathroom. Her office roommate is always eating something or cooking something in the microwave that smells up the place and it drives her crazy. To do her part, she is very conscientious about not leaving food out, even in the garbage can. Every day on her way in she stops off to get an iced tea and to eliminate the lemon from her tea smelling up the office, she has been dumping the tea and flushing the lemon down the toilet. Every day for like 5 years. So the other day, the person at Starbucks or wherever she got her tea from dropped like 4-5 lemons in her drink. She thinks nothing about dumping it down and can you imagine that the toilet broke? I mean, who could have seen that one coming?

On 6/19/2019 at 6:39 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Does Maryland have a no front license plate law?

Nope.

 

That is either Delaware or FL.  Wawa has made it to FL now.  

16 hours ago, markstanco said:

Use your imagination. She's the hottest 47 year old you know. Still can sport a 2 piece like she is 28.

I dont need to. You posted her tits for us on TOS. IIRC.

17 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Wife's office is in an office park and each unit has two small offices, a small reception area and bathroom. Her office roommate is always eating something or cooking something in the microwave that smells up the place and it drives her crazy. To do her part, she is very conscientious about not leaving food out, even in the garbage can. Every day on her way in she stops off to get an iced tea and to eliminate the lemon from her tea smelling up the office, she has been dumping the tea and flushing the lemon down the toilet. Every day for like 5 years. So the other day, the person at Starbucks or wherever she got her tea from dropped like 4-5 lemons in her drink. She thinks nothing about dumping it down and can you imagine that the toilet broke? I mean, who could have seen that one coming?

Oh my. I know you explained your wife’s thought process, but flushing the lemons does not make any sense. Holy shit

1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Wife's office is in an office park and each unit has two small offices, a small reception area and bathroom. Her office roommate is always eating something or cooking something in the microwave that smells up the place and it drives her crazy. To do her part, she is very conscientious about not leaving food out, even in the garbage can. Every day on her way in she stops off to get an iced tea and to eliminate the lemon from her tea smelling up the office, she has been dumping the tea and flushing the lemon down the toilet. Every day for like 5 years. So the other day, the person at Starbucks or wherever she got her tea from dropped like 4-5 lemons in her drink. She thinks nothing about dumping it down and can you imagine that the toilet broke? I mean, who could have seen that one coming?

lemons smell good and are used to make other less good smelling things smell better.  lemon fresh pledge, using lemon rinds in the garbage disposal etc...  She should leave them in her office mate's chair every single day. 

4 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Wouldn't it be 3-0 since the other 2 chickened out?
 

2-0-1. 

2 wins, no losses, one tie since neither chickened out. 

27 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:

2-0-1. 

2 wins, no losses, one tie since neither chickened out. 

Thanks, was confused how to count the dead kid

1 hour ago, thunderlounge said:

2-0-1. 

2 wins, no losses, one tie since neither chickened out. 

I think if neither chickens out, winner is determined via battle damage.  So 3-0 and not particularly close. 

Maybe. He's seen her. He knows.
 
 

I’m still confused on how she ended up with you. [emoji23]
41 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I think if neither chickens out, winner is determined via battle damage.  So 3-0 and not particularly close. 

No way. Has to be the opposite. It does not take courage to run over a toddler with a SUV. But to sit there and take the L instead of "chickening out"? That's the stuff right there.

Quien es mas macho? La SUV es muy macho, PERO........bebe is mas macho!

On 6/23/2019 at 6:39 PM, markstanco said:

Use your imagination. She's the hottest 47 year old you know. Still can sport a 2 piece like she is 28.

We have fucking rules here, man.

3 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

When it comes to fucking, I don’t have any rules

It’s probably for the best to have one or two rules. 

  • Popular Post

Gf:  By the way, the front door was wide open all night.  

M:  Well shit.  Didn’t notice that.  We air conditioned the neighborhood?

Gf:  The door was closed, just not locked.

M: So not “wide open”, just unlocked.

Gf:  Yes.  Like I said.  Wide open.

M:  So what’s your term for when the door is, let’s say, actually open?  Wider open, widest open, or not closed wide open?

Gf: Tone

14 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Yeah, I have a few. Namely, no cocks, strap-ons, nor minors. But I'm a prude.

Goats ok?

8 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Gf:  By the way, the front door was wide open all night.  

M:  Well shit.  Didn’t notice that.  We air conditioned the neighborhood?

Gf:  The door was closed, just not locked.

M: So not “wide open”, just unlocked.

Gf:  Yes.  Like I said.  Wide open.

M:  So what’s your term for when the door is, let’s say, actually open?  Wider open, widest open, or not closed wide open?

Gf: Tone

So her legs are constantly "wide open?" 

8 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

Gf:  By the way, the front door was wide open all night.  

M:  Well shit.  Didn’t notice that.  We air conditioned the neighborhood?

Gf:  The door was closed, just not locked.

M: So not “wide open”, just unlocked.

Gf:  Yes.  Like I said.  Wide open.

M:  So what’s your term for when the door is, let’s say, actually open?  Wider open, widest open, or not closed wide open?

Gf: Tone

She's your gf, not your wife.

What you do with her powers of observation are up to you. 

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

So her legs are constantly "wide open?" 

For me?  Sure.  As long as it’s not “too late” or “too hot” or “too cold” something like that.

1 hour ago, Asithappens said:

She's your gf, not your wife.

What you do with her powers of observation are up to you. 

13 year live-in gf.  See above.

8 minutes ago, Upgrayedd said:

13 year live-in gf.  See above.

Sorry man, if she can't legally take half of your shit, it's a different ball game.

17 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Sorry man, if she can't legally take half of your shit, it's a different ball game.

Not disputing your position here but I'm assuming that over the course of 13 years, she has taken half of everything that he has.

6 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Not disputing your position here but I'm assuming that over the course of 13 years, she has taken half of everything that he has.

She doesn't own his soul.

 

Yet.

Well, his balls seem to be in her purse.....so she has that going. 😉

19 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

She doesn't own his soul.

 

Yet.

Probably common law owns the soul 

56 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I neglected to include no animals, jizz jars nor shit play, because I'm not an aggy nor a German.

Somewhere there is a German aggy doing all sorts of crazy shit

3 hours ago, Upgrayedd said:

13 year live-in gf.  See above.

 

This is not a bad approach. 

 
This is not a bad approach. 

It may not be a bad approach, but given the thread title, it may be time for a departure.

Married men’s lives matter!
9 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Well, his balls seem to be in her purse.....so she has that going. 😉

bet she leaves it wide open.

  • Popular Post

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

3 minutes ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

Did she do the radio thing as a joke? If it wasn’t, she may be the biggest narcissist in your city. Either that or she treats you like a choad. 

36 minutes ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

Nice humblebrag. Your wife knows how to program the pre-sets on the car radio. 

1 hour ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

She’s telling you she wants a new car 

2 hours ago, BearCountry11 said:

Wife had to use my car today to drive to Round Rock while I took her car in for an oil change.  Round Rock is 15 minutes away from us.  In that 30 minute round-trip drive she changed all my Sirius XM pre-set stations to what she has them set to in her car.  All 9 of them.  Also, the AC was on FULL FUCKING BLAST when I turned the car on but all the vents were shut.  

Your wife MAY be a bitch.

check me if I'm wrong but don't most radios have presets on lists A, B, and C?  Of course most of us use up all the channels on A.  You should recommend that she keep her favorites on list C.  C as in Cunt

TL:dr version - I was right.

 

Long version:

 

My car broke down. I had the night off yesterday and was going to go pick up the parts so I could fix it this afternoon during my afternoon break. My wife threw a fit about going to a family event at the library last night and out to eat after. I told her that if we did that, then I'd have to pick up the parts tonight after work if the parts store was still open by the time I got off.

 

She had told me that she needed to go up to her school after the kids' swim lessons tomorrow. It looked like I wouldn't get off until after 10 tonight so I called to tell her I probably wouldn't get off in time to get my parts and ask what time she was planning on going up to school. I told her I'd probably take them to the swim lessons (10 mins) and then go get the parts, then come back to get them and they could drop me off at the house (10 mins) and then they could go to school (20 mins). She immediately started arguing with me about how come I wasn't buying the parts tonight. I had to repeat both sides of the conversation from last night and tonight three times before she realized we had already talked about it. Then she argued about why they had to take me home and why I couldn't take them to school and leave them there before coming home to work on the car (I have the morning off). I explained multiple times that driving her 10 mins to school, then driving 20 mins home, then 20 mins back to get them, then 20 mins back home wasn't sensible. After a bunch of arguing she still didn't understand why I had to drive them home before going to work. I had to explain that both cars would be home with me. Plus if the repairs take longer than I expect she'd have to wait until I was done to pick them up.

 

So - finally - she understands.

 

Me: So? Say it. I was right.

 

Her: No, you weren't. There were two options.

 

Me: One option was the better choice. And that was mine.

 

Her: That doesn't make you right.

 

Me: Which of the two options did you finally decide on?

 

Her: Yours. But that doesn't mean it was right. It just made more sense.

 

 

 

 

22 minutes ago, Modessit said:

TL:dr version - I was right.

 

Long version:

 

My car broke down. I had the night off yesterday and was going to go pick up the parts so I could fix it this afternoon during my afternoon break. My wife threw a fit about going to a family event at the library last night and out to eat after. I told her that if we did that, then I'd have to pick up the parts tonight after work if the parts store was still open by the time I got off.

 

She had told me that she needed to go up to her school after the kids' swim lessons tomorrow. It looked like I wouldn't get off until after 10 tonight so I called to tell her I probably wouldn't get off in time to get my parts and ask what time she was planning on going up to school. I told her I'd probably take them to the swim lessons (10 mins) and then go get the parts, then come back to get them and they could drop me off at the house (10 mins) and then they could go to school (20 mins). She immediately started arguing with me about how come I wasn't buying the parts tonight. I had to repeat both sides of the conversation from last night and tonight three times before she realized we had already talked about it. Then she argued about why they had to take me home and why I couldn't take them to school and leave them there before coming home to work on the car (I have the morning off). I explained multiple times that driving her 10 mins to school, then driving 20 mins home, then 20 mins back to get them, then 20 mins back home wasn't sensible. After a bunch of arguing she still didn't understand why I had to drive them home before going to work. I had to explain that both cars would be home with me. Plus if the repairs take longer than I expect she'd have to wait until I was done to pick them up.

 

So - finally - she understands.

 

Me: So? Say it. I was right.

 

Her: No, you weren't. There were two options.

 

Me: One option was the better choice. And that was mine.

 

Her: That doesn't make you right.

 

Me: Which of the two options did you finally decide on?

 

Her: Yours. But that doesn't mean it was right. It just made more sense.

 

 

 

 

I think I know the decision you made that was wrong 

8 hours ago, NWBuck said:

I think I know the decision you made that was wrong 

marrying her.

Trying to explain it and then assuming she'd understand it and say "you're right". 

That's never happened in the history of wifedom. 

Friend of mine called me a couple of days ago.  His wife took her car to the dealership for some service work.  She had errands to run and the loaner vehicle was already being used, so the service dude gave her a new car off of the lot to use until hers was done.  Yep, she bought the car.  

Friend of mine called me a couple of days ago.  His wife took her car to the dealership for some service work.  She had errands to run and the loaner vehicle was already being used, so the service dude gave her a new car off of the lot to use until hers was done.  Yep, she bought the car.  
She sounds hot

Needs pics of wife and car to give a proper ruling on this one

 

40 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Friend of mine called me a couple of days ago.  His wife took her car to the dealership for some service work.  She had errands to run and the loaner vehicle was already being used, so the service dude gave her a new car off of the lot to use until hers was done.  Yep, she bought the car.  

It would've been reported stolen and found in the river if my wife did that shit

4 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

It would've been reported stolen and found in the river if my wife did that shit

The car or the wife? 

It would've been reported stolen and found in the river if my wife did that shit

And a jury of your peers would find you innocent on all counts. At least on Surly!

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.