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35 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Coors talk not going away:

I remember when we left California in 1980 to visit my dad's family in Indiana, my uncle begged my dad to bring some Coors back for him, as you couldn't get it in Indiana at the time. I believe because it wasn't pasteurized, but I was a kid so I have no idea. 

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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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My dad was always excited when he could get a hold of some Coors. This was in White Oak in the mid 70s. Never really understood why.

14 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:


Met her when I lived in Campinas.

tenor.gif?itemid=5550772

Edited by mulletpelini
He said cum penis

15 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:


Where is she from? My wife is from a shitty town in the interior of São Paulo (not as shitty as where my grandmother was from). Met her when I lived in Campinas.

I lived in Campinas lol. Also spent time in Valinhos. 

The endless back patting that the wives give each other is amazing. My wife wrenched her back a few days ago when we were moving a piece of furniture. She’s been on the couch since while I moved and assembled the rest of the furniture myself, cooked, watched the kids, etc. Today a bunch of cookies were delivered from one of her friends and the card said “Get well soon, stop being super mom and take a break.”

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.

  • Popular Post

Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 

Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”

me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”

tone 

Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 
Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”
me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”
tone 
The endless back patting that the wives give each other is amazing. My wife wrenched her back a few days ago when we were moving a piece of furniture. She’s been on the couch since while I moved and assembled the rest of the furniture myself, cooked, watched the kids, etc. Today a bunch of cookies were delivered from one of her friends and the card said “Get well soon, stop being super mom and take a break.”

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.
The best stories are the ones halfway through you know exactly how it ends.

Hilarious contributions
6 hours ago, blacklab said:

Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 

Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”

me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”

tone 

My wife is always mentioning what a small world it is.  Born and raised in Austin, school in Austin, lives and works in Austin - running into someone you know in Austin does not make it a small world.

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Me- Kids look out your window-

Kids- That's huge! What is it?

Wife- An airplane wing

 

hz33mp3a1ydx.jpg

 

Me- giphy.gif

 

13 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.

Pics?

Dear Diary, the dance was a total disaster. I cried myself to sleep again last night. Mom forced me to wear the back brace and all the school chanted "Aluminum Monster!". 

Me- Kids look out your window-
Kids- That's huge! What is it?
Wife- An airplane wing
 
hz33mp3a1ydx.jpg
 
Me- giphy.gif
 


I37 near Corpus?
21 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

 

 

21 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.

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Edited by HornPhD

Lady just made me homemade flatbread pizza for dinner.  Couldn't eat it all, had 2 pieces left.  Told her I was damn glad she didn't cut it into 12 pieces.

18 hours ago, blacklab said:

Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 

Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”

me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”

tone 

Yep ole Rosie Palmer is going to be a good friend for a few days.

Been at disney since sunday. Wife planned the entire trip, I am along for the ride and human wallet.

Disclaimer: I should have got the disney app. My fault, I get it.

So we hit a few rides sunday and go to lodge. Wash, rinse, repeat for a few days. Each park we go to she says grab a map. We are reading this font in size .5, no reading glasses trying to find rides in this massive park while it is 182 degrees. I ask her if they have an interactive map in the app, she says no it isnt working on monday.

TODAY, our last day, I grab her phone to see why it wasn't working.

Location services off.

On 7/31/2019 at 9:58 PM, Buzzrock said:

The endless back patting that the wives give each other is amazing. My wife wrenched her back a few days ago when we were moving a piece of furniture. She’s been on the couch since while I moved and assembled the rest of the furniture myself, cooked, watched the kids, etc. Today a bunch of cookies were delivered from one of her friends and the card said “Get well soon, stop being super mom and take a break.”

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.

Haven't you heard?  Being a mom is a cross between being a coal miner, decathlete and saint.

15 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Haven't you heard?  Being a mom is a cross between being a coal miner, decathlete and saint.

And much more difficult than being a dad, even a stay at home dad. 

Solid entries by Buzzrock and blacklab. Congrats.

930am, 31%
Close. I had to plug in the battery back up pack thingy at lunch for her.
On 7/30/2019 at 9:18 PM, rage-a-holic said:

Are you moving to Portugal or Brazil? If not, why does it matter if your kids speak a language that doesn't do them any good in Texas?

 

Lots of the top bullriders on the PBR are Brazilian. So there's a chance either the kid turns out to be a bullrider or a chap chaser.

my son's school posted some pictures from the football camp they just had for the middle schoolers and I jokingly said one kid looked like one of my son's friends who is 3 grades older than those kids and doesn't play football.  

her- "but that's not him"

me-

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Edited by Dennis Taylor

Wife backed into the neighbors truck yesterday. She couldn’t believe he had the audacity to park his car on the street (he was power washing his driveway).

She claimed there was someone else on the street waiting for her to pull out so she was nervous. 

This may or may not qualify for the thread. We bought a new computer to replace our 10 yr old desktop that barely functions.  We have 20 years of digital pix of the kids, vacations, family members that have passed on, holidays - normal stuff.  

Her - we don’t need all those pictures, we need to sort and clean them out. 

When I get a free terabyte of cloud storage with the Office subscription, never mind the 2 TB hard drive on the new unit. 

51 minutes ago, CycleTex87 said:

This may or may not qualify for the thread. We bought a new computer to replace our 10 yr old desktop that barely functions.  We have 20 years of digital pix of the kids, vacations, family members that have passed on, holidays - normal stuff.  

Her - we don’t need all those pictures, we need to sort and clean them out. 

When I get a free terabyte of cloud storage with the Office subscription, never mind the 2 TB hard drive on the new unit. 

You could get a free month to yourself if you asked her to look through them and pick which ones she wanted to save.  

2 hours ago, Enchubben said:

Wife backed into the neighbors truck yesterday. She couldn’t believe he had the audacity to park his car on the street (he was power washing his driveway).

She claimed there was someone else on the street waiting for her to pull out so she was nervous. 

Kinky

1 hour ago, CycleTex87 said:

This may or may not qualify for the thread. We bought a new computer to replace our 10 yr old desktop that barely functions.  We have 20 years of digital pix of the kids, vacations, family members that have passed on, holidays - normal stuff.  

Her - we don’t need all those pictures, we need to sort and clean them out. 

When I get a free terabyte of cloud storage with the Office subscription, never mind the 2 TB hard drive on the new unit. 

can't be wasting cloud space on those dead people. they arent going to know anyways

  • Popular Post

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

13 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

"Alright, who wants an 80 degree beer to wash down their salmonella taco?"

22 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

Reaction GIF: uncomfortable, sad, Chris Farley

30 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

"Hey hubby, this stupid cooler you bought doesn't even work!"

35 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

Oh, god, that is fantastic.

Please continue the story with how it became her husband's fault.

On 7/31/2019 at 1:49 PM, DCA_HORN said:

What was the generic beer they sold at heb for like $4 a 12 pack? Sportz?

the worst thing i've ever drank.  tasted like an ash tray.  opened that one fresh, not like someone had put out their cigarette in it.

Edited by elfenix

the worst thing i've ever drank.  tasted like an ash tray.  opened that one fresh, not like someone had put out their cigarette in it.


We bought it one day. 12 pack. $3.89. The liquid was separated from the hops. You could almost chew it. So, so bad and we were day drunk at a pool.

A friend who is notoriously cheap showed up at my house one 4th of July with some beer cake called Flats or something he got at Walgreens or CVS or something for like $2 per six pack.

 

 

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