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On 9/20/2019 at 12:04 AM, Buffsoldier said:

You know damn good and well, or you ought to after 162 pages of this thread, that she doesn't give 2 shits about your opinion,  and she sure as hell doesn't want your opinion.  She wants to hear HER opinion.....coming from YOUR mouth. 

You fucked up, and wasted precious seconds of football watching time,  the moment you engaged in that conversation with her. 

and you should know after 162 pages that his opinion is absolutely important for her to make a decision to do exactly the opposite of what you think, probably derived from asking a complete stranger what their opinion is.

22 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Can someone please explain what the fuck the Parade of Homes is?

its a subtle way for her to show you what a loser you are for her not being able to live in a home like that.

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Well, Mrs. Brat liked to get interior decorating ideas for our own house, but I refused to allow her to suspend a canoe from the living room ceiling and put chrome hubcaps on the bathroom walls.

1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Well, Mrs. Brat liked to get interior decorating ideas for our own house, but I refused to allow her to suspend a canoe from the living room ceiling and put chrome hubcaps on the bathroom walls.

Are you sure you're thinking about parade of homes and not the visit to Chili's after?

 

 

11 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

Are you sure you're thinking about parade of homes and not the visit to Chili's after?

 

 

You meant Chuy's

Saw a Northwest Hills parade of homes McMansion that sported both of those trendy features, and the chrome hubcaps were hung on a rich purple wall. That was decades before the first Chuy’s opened.

Edited by Armybrat

I saw some old vintage cross country skis on a wall once, so this hits close to homes on parade

The world could always use more chrome.

8 hours ago, PhillyD said:

You meant Chuy's

You mean Cumsteen's

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We went to the football game this last Saturday night.  We sat in the upper deck and enjoyed a nice cool breeze for most of the game.  Actually pleasant weather, which I was not expecting.

During the 4th quarter, my wife and I decided to head to the concession stand to grab a couple of drinks and a pretzel.   We took the opportunity to sit in some chairs right by the concession stand, relax a little and watch the game on the concession stand monitor.  About halfway through the pretzel, she looks at me and says "I wish it wasn't so windy up here.  It seems like the wind has really picked up".  

3 feet to her left was a giant fan, blowing straight on us.

6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

That’s when you stand up, raise your arms, and yell “I command thee wind to halt”. Then unplug the fan.

chris parnell wizard GIF

3 hours ago, Mudcat35 said:

We went to the football game this last Saturday night.  We sat in the upper deck and enjoyed a nice cool breeze for most of the game.  Actually pleasant weather, which I was not expecting.

During the 4th quarter, my wife and I decided to head to the concession stand to grab a couple of drinks and a pretzel.   We took the opportunity to sit in some chairs right by the concession stand, relax a little and watch the game on the concession stand monitor.  About halfway through the pretzel, she looks at me and says "I wish it wasn't so windy up here.  It seems like the wind has really picked up".  

3 feet to her left was a giant fan, blowing straight on us.

And this was you...

giphy.gif

On 9/17/2019 at 4:21 PM, Stuck in CO said:

Then I was watching football over the weekend and she came down to watch for a bit.  Commercial for the new Will Smith movie "Gemini Man" came on.  "They really found someone that looks exactly like Will Smith".  Had to explain that he plays both parts.

At the movies yesterday and this preview came on. I couldn't help myself, "Man, that other actor looks just like a young Will Smith. I wonder where they found him."

Response: "Wait, that's not him? Oh, I guess you're right. He really does look just like him."

16 hours ago, Mudcat35 said:

We went to the football game this last Saturday night.  We sat in the upper deck and enjoyed a nice cool breeze for most of the game.  Actually pleasant weather, which I was not expecting.

During the 4th quarter, my wife and I decided to head to the concession stand to grab a couple of drinks and a pretzel.   We took the opportunity to sit in some chairs right by the concession stand, relax a little and watch the game on the concession stand monitor.  About halfway through the pretzel, she looks at me and says "I wish it wasn't so windy up here.  It seems like the wind has really picked up".  

3 feet to her left was a giant fan, blowing straight on us.

If ever the was a moment created for the specific use of TLJ face....

16 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

If ever the was a moment created for the specific use of TLJ face....

the last jedi milk GIF by Star Wars

5d63901e159a66c9f3b1b832917b4544.jpg

Tell me one of your wives went on a trip to Iceland


Just sent this to the wife and said “This is how I imagine your book club.”

I wonder what this thread would look like if there were a Surleyette messageboard.  More than 163 pages, to be sure.  My wife would probably be able to write 150 of those pages herself.  Of course, I'd need to unlock her computer for her to be able to do that.  

Edited by nnm

All of these pictures were taken at my house at the same time

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At least she doesn’t give me shit about my drinking.

15 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

All of these pictures were taken at my house at the same time

fd1cf412366e3b17ca735cff655a1adc.jpg

dea47959c417bda0a66299519d42c337.jpg

a1e8a67425ce75e30971345ac843932c.jpg

736dc2576e24fa863e68a6619fe6d950.jpg

At least she doesn’t give me shit about my drinking.

Tryin' to get you some Claw marks, eh?  

My wife brought some of that stuff home.  I don't really get it.  It's like nobody ever heard of flavored sparkling water and vodka before. 

Just now, Anastasis said:

My wife brought some of that stuff home.  I don't really get it.  It's like nobody ever heard of flavored sparkling water and vodka before. 

"BUT IT'S GLUTEN FREE AND ONLY 100 CALORIES"

33 minutes ago, Anastasis said:

My wife brought some of that stuff home.  I don't really get it.  It's like nobody ever heard of flavored sparkling water and vodka before. 

Yeah. You can make a homemade white claw 12 pack with a Sodastream, a squirt of fruit juice and 50 cents worth of cheap vodka.

1 hour ago, Buzzrock said:

All of these pictures were taken at my house at the same time

fd1cf412366e3b17ca735cff655a1adc.jpg

dea47959c417bda0a66299519d42c337.jpg

a1e8a67425ce75e30971345ac843932c.jpg

736dc2576e24fa863e68a6619fe6d950.jpg

At least she doesn’t give me shit about my drinking.

Somebody's getting Laid!!!  

 

...maybe she'll let you watch.

3 hours ago, nnm said:

I wonder what this thread would look like if there were a Surleyette messageboard.  More than 163 pages, to be sure.  My wife would probably be able to write 150 of those pages herself.  Of course, I'd need to unlock her computer for her to be able to do that.  

Just head on over to Pinterest and find out

2 hours ago, davidg said:

"BUT IT'S GLUTEN FREE AND ONLY 100 CALORIES"

My wifes face when I told her Miller Lite is 96 calories.spacer.png

2 hours ago, Incredulity said:

My wifes face when I told her Miller Lite is 96 calories.spacer.png

My sweet wife is a teacher.  When I tried to explain to her how she’s never getting a tax return, ever again, so long as we’re married, this was her reaction.   

Three months ago something vague named "Rick Riordan" (the children's author) showed up on the ical I share with Mrs CL. 

Three months ago I asked, "What is this?" and was told that my MIL had purchased tickets for some author event and it was meant as a surprise for my kids who apparently like the guy's books.

Three months ago, the time and location of this event was public and known to ticket holders, including Mrs CL. 6:00 on September 26 at Morton Ranch High School (don't ask me why it was in BFE Katy). You would think this would be enough time to, you know, plan an itinerary and a route for the day of the event. 

Three months ago, I was told, "You don't have to go. My mother and I will take care of this on our own." Good. 

Guess who ended up taking the kids to meet Grandma - in rush hour traffic through Cinco Ranch - because Mrs CL didn't bother to learn where "Morgan Ranch" High School was and couldn't get home in time to get them there?

 

2 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Three months ago something vague named "Rick Riordan" (the children's author) showed up on the ical I share with Mrs CL. 

Three months ago I asked, "What is this?" and was told that my MIL had purchased tickets for some author event and it was meant as a surprise for my kids who apparently like the guy's books.

Three months ago, the time and location of this event was public and known to ticket holders, including Mrs CL. 6:00 on September 26 at Morton Ranch High School (don't ask me why it was in BFE Katy). You would think this would be enough time to, you know, plan an itinerary and a route for the day of the event. 

Three months ago, I was told, "You don't have to go. My mother and I will take care of this on our own." Good. 

Guess who ended up taking the kids to meet Grandma - in rush hour traffic through Cinco Ranch - because Mrs CL didn't bother to learn where "Morgan Ranch" High School was and couldn't get home in time to get them there?

 

Hits close to home.  Was picking up the youngest from dodgeball after school and one of the moms was running around trying to get to her son because he "forgot" to ride the bus home and went to dodgeball instead.  She was trying every door at the school to get in to get the kid early.  Yeah, that wasn't happening.  She's a very nice person and a friend, but it was cracking me up.  I was like, you're going to get from Pearland to Katy in an hour at 5PM??

5 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Three months ago something vague named "Rick Riordan" (the children's author) showed up on the ical I share with Mrs CL. 

Three months ago I asked, "What is this?" and was told that my MIL had purchased tickets for some author event and it was meant as a surprise for my kids who apparently like the guy's books.

Three months ago, the time and location of this event was public and known to ticket holders, including Mrs CL. 6:00 on September 26 at Morton Ranch High School (don't ask me why it was in BFE Katy). You would think this would be enough time to, you know, plan an itinerary and a route for the day of the event. 

Three months ago, I was told, "You don't have to go. My mother and I will take care of this on our own." Good. 

Guess who ended up taking the kids to meet Grandma - in rush hour traffic through Cinco Ranch - because Mrs CL didn't bother to learn where "Morgan Ranch" High School was and couldn't get home in time to get them there?

 

Quite the odyssey. 

3 hours ago, uoftorange said:

Hits close to home.  Was picking up the youngest from dodgeball after school and one of the moms was running around trying to get to her son because he "forgot" to ride the bus home and went to dodgeball instead.  She was trying every door at the school to get in to get the kid early.  Yeah, that wasn't happening.  She's a very nice person and a friend, but it was cracking me up.  I was like, you're going to get from Pearland to Katy in an hour at 5PM??

West park tollway?

47 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

West park tollway?

where in Pearland are you going to hit that? 

18 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

where in Pearland are you going to hit that? 

Your mom's?  Anyone who pays can drive. 

Westpark might get you a little time between Katy and the Beltway, but after that you still have to drive on the South Belt and deal with all of the different chokepoints, not to mention the usual Pearland surface traffic on every single surface road after you get off of 288.  

6 hours ago, Armybrat said:

So, did he autograph your book?

No idea. I dropped them off with MIL and went back to work. Somehow they showed up with wife at the house a couple hours later. 

All’s well that ends well. At least you didn’t have to endure the presentation.

Tomorrow my wife and one of her friends are going to go pay movie theater prices and movie theater concessions to watch several episodes of Friends. A show she has memorized every episode of and can watch on Netflix any time she wants. 

But this is an "event"

5 minutes ago, Hawndoh said:

Tomorrow my wife and one of her friends are going to go pay movie theater prices and movie theater concessions to watch several episodes of Friends. A show she has memorized every episode of and can watch on Netflix any time she wants. 

But this is an "event"

Meh I'd go see the Godfather or Shawshank. 

Friends is the most inexplicable cultural phenomenon of all time. It was fucking terrible.

Yes, but Jennifer Aniston was nipped out more often than not. 
I’d pay theatre prices for popcorn and a few episodes of Seinfeld. 

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Chapel Hill is to North Carolina as Austin is to Texas. And Carrboro is to Chapel Hill as Berkeley is to 9th century Medina. So you can imagine the politics of the place vis-à-vis immigration.

Against that backdrop, Mrs. Ponderer was at Weaver Street Market this morning (think Wheatsville Co-op, only clean), and was having difficulty finding what she needed for her breakfast from the counter service area.

She has no difficulties in asking for help when she needs it, so she turned to the first person she saw in an apron, and said, "Can you show me the fountain drink line? I need ice for my tea."

 Now, keep in mind, she's standing in a part of the store where I know for damned sure there's a giant sign on the wall that says "Ice". It's right over the, wait for it, ice machine.

The five-foot-nothing Hispanic woman she has addressed is clearly not understanding her, so she raised her voice a bit, and repeats "Ice! Ice!"

 She cannot figure out for a full five minutes why the woman nervously and furtively disappeared out the back entrance. When the light comes on, she turns beet red.

Edited by Walden Ponderer
Whoever invented autocorrect needs her dick cut off.

Amazing. 

My FIL likes to come mow the grass at my farm every weekend. We don’t ask him to do it, he just thinks it’s fun. Mrs CL’s vegetable garden is a joint venture with her and they like working together. 
 

Mrs CL called me just now to complain that I had purchased “shitty gas” that wasn’t working in the push mower and FIL had left to go buy “good gas”. 
 

“What are you taking about? I used it all up. I didn’t have any full cans. What shitty gas?”

 

”In the white metal thing next to the tractor”. 
 

They put diesel in the lawnmower from my transfer tank.

Edited by crimsonlonghorn

25 minutes ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

My FIL likes to come mow the grass at my farm every weekend. We don’t ask him to do it, he just thinks it’s fun. Mrs CL’s vegetable garden is a joint venture with her and they like working together. 
 

Mrs CL called me just now to complain that I had purchased “shitty gas” that wasn’t working in the push mower and FIL had left to go buy “good gas”. 
 

“What are you taking about? I used it all up. I didn’t have any full cans. What shitty gas?”

 

”In the white metal thing next to the tractor”. 
 

They put diesel in the lawnmower from my transfer tank.

 

3 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

My FIL likes to come mow the grass at my farm every weekend. We don’t ask him to do it, he just thinks it’s fun. Mrs CL’s vegetable garden is a joint venture with her and they like working together. 
 

Mrs CL called me just now to complain that I had purchased “shitty gas” that wasn’t working in the push mower and FIL had left to go buy “good gas”. 
 

“What are you taking about? I used it all up. I didn’t have any full cans. What shitty gas?”

 

”In the white metal thing next to the tractor”. 
 

They put diesel in the lawnmower from my transfer tank.

Nothing worse than some Diesel in your wifes tank

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