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Featured Replies

I'm a tad OCD and I could not fucking handle it.
But this isn't Nahm and there are rules, or in short, pics or it didn't happen.


Nahm?
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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Some fantastic work by the wive's of Shaggy in these trying times.  Well done gentlemen.  Well done. 
With no sports on TV for the foreseeable future, we need to be here for each other.  

Fuck that. I’ll be in the guitar thread.
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Why?98a8ace39fc17560e8585e430ce5e8a7.jpg
Just need one more to complete the set. 18b9f04c4e772e7740e08b43da4738ea.jpg
Dont worry, will break out a make-shift funnel tomorrow. Wife and kids down at the in laws at belton lake so I'm baching it for the week. This business will not stand. I may add water as well to save money.
Don't do it. The ones on the right are for the kids clothes. The one in the middle is for her bras and underwear because they're "delicate". The ones on the left are for your clothes. You'll fuck up her system, she'll get pissed, and you'll be doing all of the laundry from now on - except for her bras and underwear which you won't see either on or off for the next 3 months.
17 minutes ago, Modessit said:
1 hour ago, markstanco said:
Dont worry, will break out a make-shift funnel tomorrow. Wife and kids down at the in laws at belton lake so I'm baching it for the week. This business will not stand. I may add water as well to save money.

Don't do it. The ones on the right are for the kids clothes. The one in the middle is for her bras and underwear because they're "delicate". The ones on the left are for your clothes. You'll fuck up her system, she'll get pissed, and you'll be doing all of the laundry from now on - except for her bras and underwear which you won't see either on or off for the next 3 months.

Listen to him... pre-law. 

19 hours ago, chikin23 said:

Just need one more to complete the set. 18b9f04c4e772e7740e08b43da4738ea.jpg

I don't think they're all going to fit are they?

Trying to get photo of refrigerator shenanigans uploaded and failing spectacularly.

 

SHAME!  SHAME!

Edited by Incredulity

spacer.png

Alright I was mistaken.

We don’t have 4 ketchup bottles.  We do have two partially used identical containers of;

Salsa

Mayo

Ketchup

Relish

Mustard

Jelly

in the refrigerator. Apologies.

 

I would have to fix that... Immediately. "Marry" those fuckers.
Of course, questions will be asked, new bottles will be bought, but I couldn't stop myself.
Done. 208cffc122c47459f3ac11a00b6d2ff4.jpg

Expect two more next time she goes grocery shopping.

48 minutes ago, tejas60 said:

you're so fucked.

No, my guess is that won’t be happening at all, for quite some time. 

you're so fucked.
Actually she and my boys are down at belton lake on SB so baching it this week. Have a few other OCD projects in mind.

Should leave the empties in there to take up that space on the right. Otherwise she'll have to buy more to fill the space.

3 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

"The Federal Reserve just lowered interest rates to zero, we should refinance!"

 

speechless nathan fillion GIF

We need a running count of how many of us got this same one today.  I make two.  

14 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

"The Federal Reserve just lowered interest rates to zero, we should refinance!"

 

speechless nathan fillion GIF

You don't finance directly through the fed? What are you, poor?

On 3/14/2020 at 9:38 PM, Incredulity said:

I know.  She only knows about it because at some point some fellow sufferer’s post had me in tears as she watched Hallmark movies on some random week night.  

I blanked and couldn’t come up with believable cover story. 

Holy fucking moly.  I just learned of this bullshit.  There are now SPRING LOVE STORY movies on Hallmark.  Just like the fucking Christmas ones. Overly wholesome chicks......now wearing way too many clothes for a warm spring day.   I can't take it.  I'm adding Hallmark to HGTV on my list of places I plan to firebomb.  to, to..... to wish harm upon. Bad enough I've taken to watching replays of last year's NCAA softball tournament (WHY NOT VOLLEYBALL!).  

And now I have to work from home.....FAR from my office that is located next to a neighborhood bar where I've been drinking since 1995.  Fucking Hallmark.  

14 hours ago, markstanco said:

Done. 208cffc122c47459f3ac11a00b6d2ff4.jpg

Shit.  My wife buys and stores furniture like yours buys detergent.  My garage is currently holding 1 entertainment center, one chest, one 1930s by god icebox, a ping pong table that has only been used for her school projects, a whiskey barrel.  Now she is making room for 3 new book shelves that her friend is selling.  "She might want it back some day".  No shit.  

5 minutes ago, hullabelew said:

Fucking Hallmark.  

I hope they don't survive the Coronavirus

On March 13, 2020 at 2:02 PM, Pato del Muerto said:

We are having some meats delivered from a nearby ranch today. I go outside and see that my wife has left a cooler on the porch for the person to put the meat in. 
It’s 27 and snowing.

She's preventing it from freezer burn. Smart woman.

Wife goes to HEB twice in 6 days, spends $470 total. 3 of us in the house full time. UT son may come home for a couple days 

Also wife: " can you pick up whataburger for lunch?" 

That’s on you if you don’t want Whataburger.

18 hours ago, Incredulity said:

spacer.png

Alright I was mistaken.

We don’t have 4 ketchup bottles.  We do have two partially used identical containers of;

Salsa

Mayo

Ketchup

Relish

Mustard

Jelly

in the refrigerator. Apologies.

 

Negged for Pace Picante sauce.

2 minutes ago, davidg said:

Negged for Pace Picante sauce.

Exactly. Incredulity, what are you, communist?

1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

That’s on you if you don’t want Whataburger.

Don't get me wrong, I love Whataburger..but if there were any leftovers there would be no room in the fridge to keep them. we need to put a dent in those groceries first 

I get it. I’d still take whataburger over the $Zillion grocery stockpile we are currently hoarding.

Maybe that because I don’t live in Texas though.

4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Wife goes to HEB twice in 6 days, spends $470 total. 3 of us in the house full time. UT son may come home for a couple days 

Also wife: " can you pick up whataburger for lunch?" 

Was it a six pack of expensive wines?

1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Don't get me wrong, I love Whataburger..but if there were any leftovers there would be no room in the fridge to keep them. we need to put a dent in those groceries first 

That almost sounded like English.

6 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Wife goes to HEB twice in 6 days, spends $470 total. 3 of us in the house full time. UT son may come home for a couple days 

Also wife: " can you pick up whataburger for lunch?" 

stupid things husbands say/post.

 

Im not eating out for the foreseeable future but damn a whataburger would sound amazing right now

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2 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Don't get me wrong, I love Whataburger..but if there were any leftovers there would be no room in the fridge to keep them. we need to put a dent in those groceries first 

kept reading, wtf are whatburger leftovers? 

3 hours ago, tbone_ said:

I get it. I’d still take whataburger over the $Zillion grocery stockpile we are currently hoarding.

Maybe that because I don’t live in Texas though.

 

51 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

God damn right!

Whataburger and HEB.... Sigh.. 

QFT

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On 3/13/2020 at 6:32 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Was there ice in the cooler?

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their newYeti with food and drinks. When we got there, she discovered that she should have addedice if she wanted everything cold. She thought the cold was included in the price.

Wife to 21 y.o.: "First we garden, then we work on renovations, then chores, all while singing and laughing. This is turning out to be the best family together time ever, don't you think?

21 y.o.: "No."

Edited by Walden Ponderer

On 3/14/2020 at 8:14 PM, Incredulity said:

***resisting temptation to post photo of 4 half-full Heinz ketchup bottles in the refrigerator.***

 

lesh?

4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

I love Whataburger..but if there were any leftovers

maxresdefault.jpg

3 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

That almost sounded like English.

 

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

kept reading, wtf are whatburger leftovers? 

 

17 minutes ago, elfenix said:

maxresdefault.jpg

I was speaking in hypotheticals...I'm 230, there are no leftovers but the point is she bought so many fucking groceries both fridges are at capacity 

44 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Wife to 21 y.o.: "First we garden, then we work on renovations, then chores, all while singing and laughing. This is turning out to be the best family together time ever, don't you think?

21 y.o.: "No."

No Home Depot or Bed, Bath and Beyond? Will you have enough time?

8 hours ago, Nolacycling said:
We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their newYeti with food and drinks. When we got there, she discovered that she should have addedice if she wanted everything cold. She thought the cold was included in the price.

Nice call back. I'd forgotten that one. 

4 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

21?  I wouldn't have been anywhere with my family beyond 24 hours at 21.  

Yep.  I had ACL knee surgery in Dallas while in college.  Drove a standard RX7.  "Risked' my life driving back to Austin about 6 days after the surgery.

13 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

kept reading, wtf are whatburger leftovers? 

Seriously, man.  That's like talking about chocolate pickles or aggy championships.

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I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

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