Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

  • Popular Post
I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  
She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."
 
AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??
At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg
  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

17 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:


74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

Peanut butter whiskey... Do not want but please report back

giphy.gif

Part of me wants to throw all of these away.  Another part of me wants to drink them all and let her deal with what an asshole I will become.

I feel so much better about my shit after seeing angry gorilla's post.

  • Popular Post
38 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

So you're going to be an over 40, flavored moonshine-infused radical non-skate boarding dude sporting a new pair of checkered Vans around the house for 14 days?

Finominile.  

I salute you.

24 minutes ago, NAVY said:

Peanut butter whiskey... Do not want but please report back

 

One isn't too bad, but it isn't something that you would drink all night.

13 minutes ago, luke duke said:

One isn't too bad, but it isn't something that you would drink all night.

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

2 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

Yes

Edited by luke duke

3 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

Mix with banana schnapps and shoot it, give it an Elvis name like the TCB or the King. 

1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:


74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

I can't imagine the hangover I would have after consuming any of this crap.  Holy smoke.

I bet the peanut butter whiskey shits are fun 

Quote

Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)

Beautiful.  My wife to a T.

11 minutes ago, DCA_HORN said:
1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

So pinterest started a liquor brand?

I would imagine there was a sampler at the liquor store and they hit it off about ship-lap and other pinterest shit.

31 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Mix with banana schnapps and shoot it, give it an Elvis name like the TCB or the King. 

Yabba dabba do, the King is gone and so are you.

Buddy made a batch of apple pie and a batch of banana moonshine.  Would try that apple pie but  fuck all things associated with a cucumber.

38 minutes ago, DCA_HORN said:
1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

So pinterest started a liquor brand?

this. she bought it because it would look pretty in the liquor cabinet.

Screwball Peanut Butter Whisky is really good. Drink it neat. I agree, though, that you don't want to drink it all night. 

I have a wife that may not put out and a dog that loves peanut butter. I may just need to test this out

I bet the peanut butter whiskey shits are fun 

Best band name of the year.
1 minute ago, tbone_ said:


Best band name of the year.

Saw them at Yucca Tap Room one night.

3 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:


74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

I've had the moonshine cherries before. They're interesting. 

12 minutes ago, Modessit said:

Cross post from the CV thread:

5c82df2ad95639ba9222cd23d1c854ad.jpg80ca0aa39531f69708e4e2281b56d6d5.jpg823444c3e4dce08458b9adc8a770d763.jpg

JFC

It’s people like that slug that will assure the most amount of people will die from this. I hope she dies in an aids related fire. 

3 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

It’s people like that slug that will assure the most amount of people will die from this. I hope she dies in an aids related fire. 

Her husband deserves the same. Or worse. 

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I have a wife that may not put out and a dog that loves peanut butter. I may just need to test this out

A little peanut butter whiskey on the dong might solve your wife problem

5 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

So, your wife is one of those idiots responsible for clearing out the grocery stores?

So sorry, man.

This doesnt belong here but sometimes you have to applaud your wife on her dumb luck. I quit drinking save for the random drink when we go out to eat here and there. We are self preventative quarantined and I had been quietly thinking a beer or 2 would be nice while I am just sitting around at night. She ordered heb delivery and got me a case of beer without asking me. They delivered 2 cases and only charged us for 1. excited love u GIF by i-love-you

Edited by HOOKEM4

So, your wife is one of those idiots responsible for clearing out the grocery stores?
So sorry, man.

Not really. She didn’t get anything useful like pasta, rice, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, etc. but if there is a shortage of skateboarding shoes or butternut squashes then I’m in the clear.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
3 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

I was introduced to butternut squash a couple months ago. 

I fucking hate butternut squash 

How can you not like roasted butternut squash? Olive oil, salt, pepper, and roast until caramelized. 

7 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

Thanks for the ex-wife PTSD trigger asshole

1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

I was introduced to butternut squash a couple months ago. 

I fucking hate butternut squash 

my man

13 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Her husband deserves the same. Or worse. 

Looking at her face seems like cruel and  unusual punishment.

18 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

She shops at a dedicated dog food store?

26 minutes ago, After irth said:

She shops at a dedicated dog food store?

Dog health food. 

27 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Vegan sustainable fair trade dog health food.

On sale, though.

2 hours ago, After irth said:

She shops at a dedicated dog food store?

Yes.  She can get trash food from Walmart and Target for us to eat, but nothing but the best for the dogs.

  • Popular Post

I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.

 

It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.

Edited by Jameslaw121

I'm not really sure that qualifies as being Sisyphean.  While throwing away the butternut squash may be futile, it doesn't really seem very laborious.

6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not really sure that qualifies as being Sisyphean.  While throwing away the butternut squash may be futile, it doesn't really seem very laborious.

Reading this post was laborious. 

It counts.

20 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.

 

It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.

You can give it to @Mo Horn or @Pato del Muerto , apparently they tolerate that shit 

17 hours ago, Modessit said:

Cross post from the CV thread:

5c82df2ad95639ba9222cd23d1c854ad.jpg80ca0aa39531f69708e4e2281b56d6d5.jpg823444c3e4dce08458b9adc8a770d763.jpg

Without having seen the mask, I still feel confident in saying that she's gonna need a bigger one.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.