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#10051
I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  
She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."
 
AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??
At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg
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#10052
17 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:


74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

Peanut butter whiskey... Do not want but please report back

giphy.gif

  • Popular Post
#10055
38 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

So you're going to be an over 40, flavored moonshine-infused radical non-skate boarding dude sporting a new pair of checkered Vans around the house for 14 days?

Finominile.  

I salute you.

#10056
24 minutes ago, NAVY said:

Peanut butter whiskey... Do not want but please report back

 

One isn't too bad, but it isn't something that you would drink all night.

#10057
13 minutes ago, luke duke said:

One isn't too bad, but it isn't something that you would drink all night.

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

#10058
2 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

Yes

Edited by luke duke

#10059
3 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

Mix with banana schnapps and shoot it, give it an Elvis name like the TCB or the King. 

#10062
Quote

Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)

Beautiful.  My wife to a T.

#10064
11 minutes ago, DCA_HORN said:
1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

So pinterest started a liquor brand?

I would imagine there was a sampler at the liquor store and they hit it off about ship-lap and other pinterest shit.

#10066
31 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Mix with banana schnapps and shoot it, give it an Elvis name like the TCB or the King. 

Yabba dabba do, the King is gone and so are you.

#10067

Buddy made a batch of apple pie and a batch of banana moonshine.  Would try that apple pie but  fuck all things associated with a cucumber.

#10068
38 minutes ago, DCA_HORN said:
1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

So pinterest started a liquor brand?

this. she bought it because it would look pretty in the liquor cabinet.

#10069

Screwball Peanut Butter Whisky is really good. Drink it neat. I agree, though, that you don't want to drink it all night. 

#10074
3 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:


74a99068ab1530cafef13549c5d5561d.jpg

I've had the moonshine cherries before. They're interesting. 

#10076

It’s people like that slug that will assure the most amount of people will die from this. I hope she dies in an aids related fire. 

#10077
3 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

It’s people like that slug that will assure the most amount of people will die from this. I hope she dies in an aids related fire. 

Her husband deserves the same. Or worse. 

#10080
5 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

So, your wife is one of those idiots responsible for clearing out the grocery stores?

So sorry, man.

#10081

This doesnt belong here but sometimes you have to applaud your wife on her dumb luck. I quit drinking save for the random drink when we go out to eat here and there. We are self preventative quarantined and I had been quietly thinking a beer or 2 would be nice while I am just sitting around at night. She ordered heb delivery and got me a case of beer without asking me. They delivered 2 cases and only charged us for 1. excited love u GIF by i-love-you

Edited by HOOKEM4

#10082
So, your wife is one of those idiots responsible for clearing out the grocery stores?
So sorry, man.

Not really. She didn’t get anything useful like pasta, rice, toilet paper, hand sanitizer, etc. but if there is a shortage of skateboarding shoes or butternut squashes then I’m in the clear.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
#10084
3 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

I was introduced to butternut squash a couple months ago. 

I fucking hate butternut squash 

How can you not like roasted butternut squash? Olive oil, salt, pepper, and roast until caramelized. 

#10086
7 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

Thanks for the ex-wife PTSD trigger asshole

#10087
1 hour ago, Dennis Taylor said:

I was introduced to butternut squash a couple months ago. 

I fucking hate butternut squash 

my man

#10089
18 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

I can tell I'm not going to make it through quarantine.  The wife spent all last week complaining how overblown the virus thing was and how stupid the panicky shoppers were.  Then slowly all the other stupid wives on her best friends text chain started texting about getting groceries, medicine, TP, etc.  Then she turned into overly crazy shopper.  I told her to limit her store visits and just get the necessities.  

She came home with a car full of shit.  I asked where she went and she had gone to Tom Thumb, Target (3X), Wal Mart, Sams, dog food store, "and a few other places."

 

AG:  Why did you go to Target three times?
Mrs. AG:  I forgot to get a butternut squash.
AG:  What other stores did you go to?
Mrs. AG:  I went in to the skateboard shop next door, look I got you a pair of shoes!!!! (I am 40 and have never skateboarded)
AG:  That's a necessity?  What's in the other bags?
Mrs. AG:  I also went to the liquor store (she doesn't drink liquor, and I told her to stop buying me liquor because she buys shit and I'm trying to clear out some space in my bar area, but gave her the benefit of the doubt)
AG:  Ok, liquor sounds good, what did you get?
Mrs. AG:  LOOK!!! (she proudly pulls out a bottle of "moonshine" that is just flavored grain alcohol in a fake mason jar)
AG:  Why would you get that, you'll never drink it?
Mrs. AG:  Oh god no I'm not drinking that.
AG:  Have you ever seen me drink moonshine, or anything other than scotch or whiskey?  Why would you get that?
Mrs. AG:  Look at the flavor!!!  It sounds so gross!!!  Butter toffee moonshine, can you imagine??

At that point I just shook my head and walked out.  I came back later to get a whiskey drink and found 4 bottles of "moonshine" and a bottle of peanut butter flavored whiskey.

She shops at a dedicated dog food store?

#10093
2 hours ago, After irth said:

She shops at a dedicated dog food store?

Yes.  She can get trash food from Walmart and Target for us to eat, but nothing but the best for the dogs.

  • Popular Post
#10095

I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.

 

It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.

Edited by Jameslaw121

#10097
6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm not really sure that qualifies as being Sisyphean.  While throwing away the butternut squash may be futile, it doesn't really seem very laborious.

Reading this post was laborious. 

It counts.

#10099
20 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.

 

It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.

You can give it to @Mo Horn or @Pato del Muerto , apparently they tolerate that shit 

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