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Featured Replies

51 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.

 

It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.

Hey emeril, cut it half lengthwise, hit it with some pepper and olive oil, and bake for about half an hour. Then eat it. 

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2 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Hey emeril, cut it half lengthwise, hit it with some pepper and olive oil, and bake for about half an hour. Then eat it. 

Dude. Cut in half, hollow a little out, put in half stick of butter and brown sugar and roast.

36 minutes ago, You don't know me said:

Without having seen the mask, I still feel confident in saying that she's gonna need a bigger one.

Odds are it's a pie tin with duct tape.

  • Popular Post

We have a new infant and are staying in as much as possible. I asked my wife to send me a list of groceries she wanted me to order from Whole Foods for delivery to tide us over for the weekend. She said she couldn't do that.

I asked why. She said she needed to browse and couldn't come up with groceries off the top of her head.

I gave her my laptop to "browse" and add groceries to the cart and I would supplement after she was finished.

An hour later it was returned with the following essentials: one box of Fig Newman cookies, one box of fudge strip cookies, one box of chocolate covered graham crackers, one bag of salt and vinegar chips and two mangoes. That's it. That's her list of groceries for the week. 

18 minutes ago, eljinca said:

We have a new infant and are staying in as much as possible. I asked my wife to send me a list of groceries she wanted me to order from Whole Foods for delivery to tide us over for the weekend. She said she couldn't do that.

I asked why. She said she needed to browse and couldn't come up with groceries off the top of her head.

I gave her my laptop to "browse" and add groceries to the cart and I would supplement after she was finished.

An hour later it was returned with the following essentials: one box of Fig Newman cookies, one box of fudge strip cookies, one box of chocolate covered graham crackers, one bag of salt and vinegar chips and two mangoes. That's it. That's her list of groceries for the week. 

Welcome young patriot.  Welcome to this thread.  You can find comfort here.  

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Wife and I went grocery shopping on Saturday. The back of the Tahoe was full of groceries. Well, I guess i pulled into the neighborhood a little too fast for her liking. 

Mrs. Lateshow: Whoa, slow down and quit driving like Houdini!

Edited by lateshow

Houdini?  Are you driving it handcuffed, while escaping?

12 minutes ago, nnm said:

Houdini?  Are you driving it handcuffed, while escaping?

I'm very talented. 

We have a new infant and are staying in as much as possible. I asked my wife to send me a list of groceries she wanted me to order from Whole Foods for delivery to tide us over for the weekend. She said she couldn't do that.
I asked why. She said she needed to browse and couldn't come up with groceries off the top of her head.
I gave her my laptop to "browse" and add groceries to the cart and I would supplement after she was finished.
An hour later it was returned with the following essentials: one box of Fig Newman cookies, one box of fudge strip cookies, one box of chocolate covered graham crackers, one bag of salt and vinegar chips and two mangoes. That's it. That's her list of groceries for the week. 

I hope it’s lays salt and vinegar at least
5 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


I hope it’s lays salt and vinegar at least

Did you miss the humble brag part about whole foods?

On 3/14/2020 at 9:14 PM, Incredulity said:

***resisting temptation to post photo of 4 half-full Heinz ketchup bottles in the refrigerator.***

 

You could really blow her mind by telling her vinegar based condiments don't need refrigeration.

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On 3/18/2020 at 1:58 PM, Llogg said:

I feel so much better about my shit after seeing angry gorilla's post.

I don't.

On 3/15/2020 at 11:41 PM, Sam Lin said:

Should leave the empties in there to take up that space on the right. Otherwise she'll have to buy more to fill the space.

With a quarter inch left in each.

2 hours ago, lateshow said:

Wife and I went grocery shopping on Saturday. The back of the Tahoe was full of groceries. Well, I guess i pulled into the neighborhood a little too fast for her liking. 

Mrs. Lateshow: Whoa, slow down and quit driving like Houdini!

So are we thinking Andretti was the attempt here?

11 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

So are we thinking Andretti was the attempt here?

Zanardi

56 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

You could really blow her mind by telling her vinegar based condiments don't need refrigeration.

Well that would be logic, and I’m dealing with a woman so...

1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

I don't.


Well yeah, but you’re in a completely different circle of hell. 

1 hour ago, Llogg said:

Did you miss the humble brag part about whole foods?

Is that what that was? 

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Buddy's wife is telling everyone she knows that since interest rates are now 0%, she's looking to borrow $1mil to buy vacation property to VRBO

She "saw it on the news" and can't be persuaded otherwise. 

He's decided to tell her to go for it as long as she can get it at 0% and is going to let her go see their banker.

1 minute ago, Reagan1k said:

Buddy's wife is telling everyone she knows that since interest rates are now 0%, she's looking to borrow $1mil to buy vacation property to VRBO

She "saw it on the news" and can't be persuaded otherwise. 

He's decided to tell her to go for it as long as she can get it at 0% and is going to let her go see their banker.

I'm guessing she thinks that 0% means principal and interest. 

Just now, Cheeseweasel said:

I'm guessing she thinks that 0% means principal and interest. 

If she can personally borrow at the Fed funds rate, why would would you think she'd be required to make any principal payment?  

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

So are we thinking Andretti was the attempt here?

Buddy, I've long quit trying to decipher the true meaning behind the things she says. 

On 3/18/2020 at 2:05 PM, luke duke said:

One isn't too bad, but it isn't something that you would drink all night.

 

On 3/18/2020 at 2:20 PM, Angry Gorilla said:

How do I drink it?

Neat?
On the rocks?
Mixed with Yoohoo?
As a shot with a jelly chaser?

With all these options, good thing she got a handle!

5 hours ago, eljinca said:

We have a new infant and are staying in as much as possible. I asked my wife to send me a list of groceries she wanted me to order from Whole Foods for delivery to tide us over for the weekend. She said she couldn't do that.

I asked why. She said she needed to browse and couldn't come up with groceries off the top of her head.

I gave her my laptop to "browse" and add groceries to the cart and I would supplement after she was finished.

An hour later it was returned with the following essentials: one box of Fig Newman cookies, one box of fudge strip cookies, one box of chocolate covered graham crackers, one bag of salt and vinegar chips and two mangoes. That's it. That's her list of groceries for the week. 

triggered by fudge-striped cookies reference

 

 

 

  • Popular Post

Against my better judgement, I broke into the peanut butter whiskey.

Serving #1: Neat

f6e012822406d30900f6272b924a3504.jpg

It smells like the rotten peanut you get when you are eating peanuts out the shell and you have to eat another one quickly to get the taste out of your mouth.

The initial taste is the fake sweet peanut butter found in Reese’s, but with a lot more sugar. Following that is a distinct taste of rubber.

5 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Against my better judgement, I broke into the peanut butter whiskey.

Serving #1: Neat

f6e012822406d30900f6272b924a3504.jpg

It smells like the rotten peanut you get when you are eating peanuts out the shell and you have to eat another one quickly to get the taste out of your mouth.

The initial taste is the fake sweet peanut butter found in Reese’s, but with a lot more sugar. Following that is a distinct taste of rubber.

What a helluva time to be alive.   

43 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Against my better judgement, I broke into the peanut butter whiskey.

Serving #1: Neat

f6e012822406d30900f6272b924a3504.jpg

It smells like the rotten peanut you get when you are eating peanuts out the shell and you have to eat another one quickly to get the taste out of your mouth.

The initial taste is the fake sweet peanut butter found in Reese’s, but with a lot more sugar. Following that is a distinct taste of rubber.

repped for bravery. 

 You should keep drinking (and crank up the drunk thread again)until you get the peanut butter farts and report how Mrs. AG feels about those.

Edited by PhillyD

  • Popular Post

Serving #2: On the rocks

e6370dc2ac992cd48c5866a4d6ebc9fe.jpg

Not surprisingly it tastes very similar to serving #1, but colder. But somehow the ice and tiny bit of water really bring out the sweetness. It’s like I took a spoonful of peanut butter then dipped it into Fun Dip.

Wife and I went grocery shopping on Saturday. The back of the Tahoe was full of groceries. Well, I guess i pulled into the neighborhood a little too fast for her liking. 
Mrs. Lateshow: Whoa, slow down and quit driving like Houdini!

She’s thinking of the rapper. Easy mix up there.

Serving #3: Mixed with Coke

98456ff72d1f6edd3ac6f9218d93fdee.jpg

To be honest this tastes the exact same as on the rocks. I used to use Coke to mix with cheap whiskey when I was poor. It does nothing to cover up the taste. I also feel that I’ve hit my daily suggested caloric intake after these 3 drinks.

Screwball Peanut Butter Whisky is really good. Drink it neat. I agree, though, that you don't want to drink it all night. 

This is the kind that I had as well. It definitely tastes better than the off brand described above.
  • Popular Post

Serving #4: as a shot with strawberry jelly

22164381bcc1b95901f2cc2cab0e8e7b.jpg

I should have used the jelly as a chaser. It was thicker and sunk to bottom so when I took the shot the peanut awfulness came first, which caused me to gag a little before the jelly fell into my mouth. Trying to swallow a thick liquid while trying not to puke is hard (that’s what she said)

6 hours ago, eljinca said:

We have a new infant and are staying in as much as possible. I asked my wife to send me a list of groceries she wanted me to order from Whole Foods for delivery to tide us over for the weekend. She said she couldn't do that.

I asked why. She said she needed to browse and couldn't come up with groceries off the top of her head.

I gave her my laptop to "browse" and add groceries to the cart and I would supplement after she was finished.

An hour later it was returned with the following essentials: one box of Fig Newman cookies, one box of fudge strip cookies, one box of chocolate covered graham crackers, one bag of salt and vinegar chips and two mangoes. That's it. That's her list of groceries for the week. 

Those Fig Newmans can be quite filling. 

Serving #4: as a shot with strawberry jelly

22164381bcc1b95901f2cc2cab0e8e7b.jpg

I should have used the jelly as a chaser. It was thicker and sunk to bottom so when I took the shot the peanut awfulness came first, which caused me to gag a little before the jelly fell into my mouth. Trying to swallow a thick liquid while trying not to puke is hard (that’s what she said)

When I asked a guy at the liquor store about Screwballs he told me girls had mixed it with chambord and frangelica to make PB&J shots.

When I asked a guy at the liquor store about Screwballs he told me girls had mixed it with chambord and frangelica to make PB&J shots.

I wish I had those mixers, but I am having to MacGuyver this shit with what I have.
  • Popular Post

Serving #5: As a shot with grape jelly chaser

1d67b5dfc2f0b8df0f995ec5d05bc45f.jpg

This has been the best so far. It still feels like getting hit in the face with a sock full of nickels when the whiskey hits my mouth, but the jelly did a decent job of covering it up. I do feel I might be doing irreparable damage to my taste buds.

  • Popular Post

Serving #6: mixed with GNC Lean Shake powder, chocolate flavor.

3ab0e1624fc5479c9755f45bd285a909.jpg

This is the only chocolate anything I could find, and I’m pretty sure it expired over a year ago. This has been the best so far, but I think a full scoop was too much. I might also be starting to hallucinate.

31 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

When I asked a guy at the liquor store about Screwballs he told me girls had mixed it with chambord and frangelica to make PB&J shots.

And then they stripped down to their underwear and had a pillow fight. 

1 hour ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Serving #2: On the rocks

e6370dc2ac992cd48c5866a4d6ebc9fe.jpg

Not surprisingly it tastes very similar to serving #1, but colder. But somehow the ice and tiny bit of water really bring out the sweetness. It’s like I took a spoonful of peanut butter then dipped it into Fun Dip.

You have enough TP for the peanut butter shits?

  • Popular Post

Serving #7: As a shot with a banana shot luge

cb8dff2981c87c23fb13a0338b2ad13b.jpg

As expected the banana did little to mask the overwhelming sweet flavor. Eating the banana after did nothing. I’m starting to question my life choices. And why am I still wearing a rain poncho when I haven’t been outside in 3 hours?

5 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Holy shit, these live updates are great.

The fluidity and speed is something else.  I think we might witness a diabetic stroke online.  

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