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Featured Replies

6 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


I hope it’s lays salt and vinegar at least

Sadly, no. They were some Whole Foods brand. When I put them away I opened the cabinet to find 3 unopened bags of the same brand.

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Serving #8: as a shot with a lime chaser

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People use limes to cover up tequila shots right? And you might think the sourness would counteract the sweetness. Well you would be fucking wrong. I could barely taste the lime, and it somehow made a chemical reaction that made a peanut butter whiskey tasted paste that’s stuck in my mouth and I can’t wash out. My dog won’t come to me when I call her anymore.

2 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Serving #8: as a shot with a lime chaser

2bf197429101291190f73f8b636af325.jpg

People use limes to cover up tequila shots right? And you might think the sourness would counteract the sweetness. Well you would be fucking wrong. I could barely taste the lime, and it somehow made a chemical reaction that made a peanut butter whiskey tasted paste that’s stuck in my mouth and I can’t wash out. My dog won’t come to me when I call her anymore.

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The fluidity and speed is something else.  I think we might witness a diabetic stroke online.  

Tell my daughter I love her. Tell my wife this is her fault for buying this shit.
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Serving #9: Infused with actual peanuts

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You know that face a baby makes when you give it a lemon? That’s what I’m doing with each drink. I’m craving the inevitable blackout, but not only does this bottle taste like asshole, it’s only fucking 60 proof. Maybe I should start mixing it with real whiskey. Or bleach.

4 minutes ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Serving #9: Infused with actual peanuts

2d7bf25b3be4445fa5f004c6cdef3cac.jpg

You know that face a baby makes when you give it a lemon? That’s what I’m doing with each drink. I’m craving the inevitable blackout, but not only does this bottle taste like asshole, it’s only fucking 60 proof. Maybe I should start mixing it with real whiskey. Or bleach.

I would highly recommend going to the back yard and forcing the oncoming vomit fest.  Tomorrow will be ugly otherwise 

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Serving #10: Pickleback!

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This has been the most palatable so far, or maybe I’m finally starting to get drunk.

I would highly recommend going to the back yard and forcing the oncoming vomit fest.  Tomorrow will be ugly otherwise 

Not sure I’ll have to force anything. It seems inevitable now.
Screwball Peanut Butter Whisky is really good. Drink it neat. I agree, though, that you don't want to drink it all night. 
Oh, Good Lord it is fucking awful. So damn sweet.

I feel like someone should intervene and stop this before it gets out of control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nah, he'll finish soon I'm sure.

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Sad to say I had to throw in the towel. Just puked all over the toilet. Had to switch to tasty beer and some online poker.

I wonder if Nicole ever bought OJ peanut butter whiskey. Would explain a lot.

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Screwball Peanut Butter Whisky is really good. Drink it neat. I agree, though, that you don't want to drink it all night. 
You are dead to me.

I very much regret that I did not get to follow this live.  
 

angry gorilla, you are a madman. When you stole that cow, and your friend tried to make it with the cow?  I wanna party with you, cowboy. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto

I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.
 
It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.
You assume she's been buying it for it's edible properties.
On 2/2/2020 at 11:19 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

She came home from target tonight with about 7 boxes of noodles and 7 jars of ragu. My mother in law is a saint... but she also is one of those internet/conspiracy freak out type so she got in my wife’s head about the dangers of corona virus in case we need to stay home for x amount of days.

 

15 days, to be exact.

Angry Gorilla may have inadvertently discovered the cure to the coronas!  Also, Angry Gorilla needs to become party of the Surly lexicon like Angry Dolphin. When a wife does something stupid you could be like "after that shit I went full Angry Gorilla on her" or "I got Angry Gorillad by my wife" when she buys something totally useless.  Maybe Mitch Cumsteen's wife and Angry Gorilla's wives need to meet?

Edited by Hate

42 minutes ago, Modessit said:
12 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:
I've lived with my wife for almost 6 years now. We have never not had butternut squash in our house. We have also yet to eat butternut squash.
 
It's literally been something I've thrown away every month for 72 straight months only to be replaced again. It's my Sisyphus.

You assume she's been buying it for it's edible properties.

I mean, hopefully on South Austin’s mom’s ass can take that girth 

Dude. Cut in half, hollow a little out, put in half stick of butter and brown sugar and roast.

Or, you could use it as a dildo, if you’re brave enough!

After you use it as a dildo you could cut it in half, hollow a little out, put in a half a stick of butter and brown sugar and roast.  Half a stick of butter seems a little excessive though.

Edited by NeverMarryAStripper

8 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:

Sad to say I had to throw in the towel. Just puked all over the toilet. Had to switch to tasty beer and some online poker.

I wonder if Nicole ever bought OJ peanut butter whiskey. Would explain a lot.

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You didn't get any puke on the new checkered Van's did you?  

Thanks for the play by play on the PB moonshine.  You're our kind of idiot.  

You have enough TP for the peanut butter shits?

Turns out I have plenty. When there is an explosion and your bowels empty out in
I’ve brushed my teeth ~10 times and still have a faint taste in my mouth.

The good news is I think my dog has forgiven me.

I’m going to go sit in the sauna later and try to sweat out this nastiness.

I think that play-by-play reminded me that I haven't laughed in a week, and not like that in a long time--many thanks and kudos, AG. Times like this remind me the need to be more active so I can give out more rep...

We need to adopt a flag.  Pronto.  That way, when AG dies, we can drape his casket in the flag, have 7 guys do a 21 shot salute, then present his wife with the flag. 

Well Done @Angry Gorilla.  As mentioned above, another true patriot.  

10 hours ago, markstanco said:
On 3/18/2020 at 4:22 PM, lateshow said:
Screwball Peanut Butter Whisky is really good. Drink it neat. I agree, though, that you don't want to drink it all night. 

You are dead to me.

Image result for why do you hurt me gif

Holy shit that was funny.

 

thanks Blacklab for the heads up...

2 hours ago, Angry Gorilla said:


Turns out I have plenty. When there is an explosion and your bowels empty out in
I’ve brushed my teeth ~10 times and still have a faint taste in my mouth.

The good news is I think my dog has forgiven me.

I’m going to go sit in the sauna later and try to sweat out this nastiness.

that had to be the most rank smelling puke ever.

3 hours ago, deadshank said:

You didn't get any puke on the new checkered Van's did you?  

Thanks for the play by play on the PB moonshine.  You're our kind of idiot.  

The Vans are safe because they never left the box

I'm a little late to the party, but I think I would have tried something a little salty with the abomination of peanut butter "moonshine".  Maybe that would have countered the sweet taste?

I tried real peanuts.  Not sure there was anything salty enough to counteract that level of sweetness.  Maybe I should have salted the rim.

Just now, Angry Gorilla said:

 Maybe I should have salted the rim.

That's gonna burn her a little bit.

my face hurt from laughing while reading that. AngryGorilla, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

31 minutes ago, Llogg said:

my face hurt from laughing while reading that. AngryGorilla, you are a gentleman and a scholar.

Most I've laughed on here since the NowThis debacle. 

Brilliant!  I love how the bottle level kept going down with each picture.  Things got weird at the protein shake.  Banana luge was creative.  I was crying by the time the shot glass full of peanuts hit.  Well done...

i mentioned a few times the contradiction of my wife being obstinately clean, but messy.

 

similar thing applies to the fridge. 

for me anything that doesnt look bad or smell bad or feel bad, is edible.

for her, if its 1 day before the date of expiration, its bad.  if chicken has been at home for 2 days, its bad. leftover from 1 night?  its bad.

 

nobody is allowed to eat it.

 

but she wont throw the motherfucker away!!! 

Edited by 52-80

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