Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

Is my wife the only one who starts a load of clothes in the washer and then forgets to move them to the dryer?

90% chance my wife will either forget about a wet load in the washer which results in a re-wash or puts the load in the dryer and forgets to turn it on.

8% chance she’ll complete load successfully and with my help to tell her she has a load in the washer that needs to be hung or transferred to dryer

2% chance she does full cycle with zero hiccups
  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

If that didn’t happen how would the lint filter ever get cleaned?

How do you have a lint filter to clean after the house burns down from not cleaning it?
3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

A while back the wife prepaid for a years worth of probiotics where they mail you a new bottle every two weeks. I told her not to, but it was such a good deal. Guess what I just found...

054fb21ebf356956b6b242a7f57f28db.jpg

I like how they were hidden in a box similar to me as a kid when I shit my underwear.

3 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

A while back the wife prepaid for a years worth of probiotics where they mail you a new bottle every two weeks. I told her not to, but it was such a good deal. Guess what I just found...

054fb21ebf356956b6b242a7f57f28db.jpg

You looking to get rid of those? I take probiotics. 

19 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

I like how they were hidden in a box similar to me as a kid when I shit my underwear.

giphy.gif

8 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

I like how they were hidden in a box similar to me as a kid when I shit my underwear.

When you shit your underwear as a kid you hid in a box???  

6 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

When you shit your underwear as a kid you hid in a box???  

He ate a lot of paint chips.

8 hours ago, ztejas said:

You looking to get rid of those? I take probiotics. 

I still haven’t told her I found her stash.  Thinking I might keep it in my back pocket until she tries to sell me on her next “great deal”.

2 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said:

I still haven’t told her I found her stash.  Thinking I might keep it in my back pocket until she tries to sell me on her next “great deal”.

Morgan Freeman Good Luck GIF

23 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said:

I still haven’t told her I found her stash.  Thinking I might keep it in my back pocket until she tries to sell me on her next “great deal”.

All I heard was "I never want to get laid again" in Charlie Brown's teacher's voice.

12 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

A while back the wife prepaid for a years worth of probiotics where they mail you a new bottle every two weeks. I told her not to, but it was such a good deal. Guess what I just found...

054fb21ebf356956b6b242a7f57f28db.jpg

Well that they are much better than the amateurbiotics...

2 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Well that they are much better than the amateurbiotics...

Think about this: what's the opposite of PRObiotic? 

CONgress.

 

 

Wait...

Doing a roof with associated work for a friend, job is in Georgetown (in addition to the roof, it has a chimney rebuild w/ fiber cement, remove fascia & add new fiber cement).

 

Start date for 6 days from now had been communicated w/ crew.

 

For some reason, the guys started the siding portions today.

 

Same guys that did the roof for[mention=436]Felix[/mention] around 1 month ago.

 

Anyhow...

 

I added the [ 1. 2. ] for Shag² viewers, the other stuff is what I scribbled on screenshots I sent to her.

 

Can y'all guess why my last response was in quotes?

 

 

f94bd2b7fc0a77bc3bbe9d4d2fe51481.jpg

 

 

08290869a34e8f2ed829a58bb2b5bdf4.jpg

 

 

0a9ac4b89c7a4a699a47b956e98b25a4.jpg

 

 

d108e58d30ae9c2de1f4df3e0e853528.jpg

 

 

3d20f54e3a49e7d37d22ac355d60fa16.jpg

 

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

 

 

 

 

I'm gonna need to see this in MS Paint.
My text scribbles are the closest you're gonna get today.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

2 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

I still haven’t told her I found her stash.  Thinking I might keep it in my back pocket until she tries to sell me on her next “great deal”.

Bold move.  You know those probiotics are still set on an automatic 2 week delivery and autopay, right?

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

All I heard was "I never want to get laid again" in Charlie Brown's teacher's voice.

I’ve been married for over 10 years...not seeing much of a difference.

38 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Bold move.  You know those probiotics are still set on an automatic 2 week delivery and autopay, right?

She told me she prepaid for it up front, but it’s on her credit card so not much I can do there.  But yeah I bet it’s on autopay because why wouldn’t it be.

19 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Is my wife the only one who starts a load of clothes in the washer and then forgets to move them to the dryer?

I can top that.  My wife routinely loads the washer, puts in the soap, leaves the lid open, and walks away.  I usually start the load when I go in to check to see if it's ready for the dryer.

Recent text exchange:

Wife:  Grades come out today can you look online please

Me: Will do.

Wife:  He better have gotten all As and Bs.  Tell him I'm serious about this stuff.

A few hours pass, grades finally come online.

Me:  All As and Bs

Wife:  What were the Bs? He's slacking.

Me:  Relax, he's fine.  FYI he said you're on his back too much and need to trust him.

Wife: What?  What did you say to him?

Me: Scroll up.  I did what you asked me to.

Wife:  Remember last week when I asked you to be point person on grades so I'm not the bad guy!

Me.

giphy.gif

22 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

she said she was serious about this stuff. what else do you want....  :)

al gore internet GIF

23 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

Bold move.  You know those probiotics are still set on an automatic 2 week delivery and autopay, right?

 

22 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

She told me she prepaid for it up front, but it’s on her credit card so not much I can do there.  But yeah I bet it’s on autopay because why wouldn’t it be.

Don't forget it is also set to auto renew every year.  You're going to look back 10 years from now and realize you could have retired much sooner.  

 

Edit - and to add my own fun, I just found trashed 3 unopened bottles of parmesan cheese last night.  This after about 10 other bottles a couple of days ago.  I'm not sure if these were essential items for a hurricane or for the covid apocalypse.  We do at least have plenty of room in the pantry for the next crisis (several large trash bags for yard work were filled and disposed of).

Edited by UT_OB1

1 hour ago, UT_OB1 said:

 

Don't forget it is also set to auto renew every year.  You're going to look back 10 years from now and realize you could have retired much sooner.  

 

Edit - and to add my own fun, I just found trashed 3 unopened bottles of parmesan cheese last night.  This after about 10 other bottles a couple of days ago.  I'm not sure if these were essential items for a hurricane or for the covid apocalypse.  We do at least have plenty of room in the pantry for the next crisis (several large trash bags for yard work were filled and disposed of).

Wife buys lots of shit we already have to mask all the wine she’s really at HEB for 

On 10/4/2020 at 11:30 PM, Rougarou said:

Seriously. A Harry Potter themed bedroom? Oy vey. #KeepAustinWeird tho!

My 42 year-old sister in law has a Harry Potter room.  She has no children and currently lives alone - i.e. not married, no kids on the way.

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

For his retirement he'll be able to open a probiotic store

She will throw them away by then because expiration date

29 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

My 42 year-old sister in law has a Harry Potter room.  She has no children and currently lives alone - i.e. not married, no kids on the way.

Over/Under on the amount of cats is 10.

19 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Nope.  2 indoor dogs that she treats like humans.

I'll bet my house that she calls them fir babies. 

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'll bet my house that she calls them fir babies. 

Why?  Are they carved from wood?

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'll bet my house that she calls them fir babies. 

Maybe pine babies

Oak babies

Cedar babies

You don't know! 

  • Popular Post
2 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Maybe pine babies

Oak babies

Cedar babies

You don't know! 

Maybe she's trying to spruce up the house?

3 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Why?  Are they carved from wood?

That's the joke.


90% chance my wife will either forget about a wet load in the washer which results in a re-wash or puts the load in the dryer and forgets to turn it on.

8% chance she’ll complete load successfully and with my help to tell her she has a load in the washer that needs to be hung or transferred to dryer

2% chance she does full cycle with zero hiccups

There’s a 100% I complete my load joke in here somewhere...
1 hour ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Why?  Are they carved from wood?

Beat me to it, +reps

5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'll bet my house that she calls them fir babies. 

One named Kaw-Liga?

She will throw them away by then because expiration date
c0bb6afbddf7165465b39057434108d9.jpg

Ex-pired!

Ex-pired!

This is stupid shit I saw on FB, but it immediately made me think of this thread:

497525933_havesomewineFB.jpg.77fe93a69a12f058c0d5ba9331f80331.jpg

3 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

How is “safest” not the safest reply?

Forget it Jake, it's Facebook.

  • Popular Post
16 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

How is “safest” not the safest reply?

Because a woman made that chart

  • Popular Post

Our daughter is away at school, has a new boyfriend... I asked Trix if she knew if they were possibly coming down for dinner tonight.

Her: No, he's getting abducted into his fraternity this weekend.

Me: Abducted?

Her: Yeah. It seems early, don't they usually do that 2nd semester?

19 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Our daughter is away at school, has a new boyfriend... I asked Trix if she knew if they were possibly coming down for dinner tonight.

Her: No, he's getting abducted into his fraternity this weekend.

Me: Abducted?

Her: Yeah. It seems early, don't they usually do that 2nd semester?

angry liam neeson GIF

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.