November 6, 20205 yr 4 minutes ago, thunderlounge said: Well shit. Don’t tell Mitch’s wife about that shit. I'm pretty sure she knows and might have started it.
November 6, 20205 yr 56 minutes ago, thunderlounge said: Well shit. Don’t tell Mitch’s wife about that shit. First thought that came to my mind. 😄
November 6, 20205 yr Lucky me... Mrs. Brat’s cousins persuaded her to sign up for a FB account five years ago. She looked at it a couple of times and said, “this is worthless and stupid”. Never has logged back on. She maintains contact with her cousins with an occasional phone call or an actual physical visit.
November 6, 20205 yr You guys are funny thinking Mitch's wife is into free stuff. My impression is that the spending is the thrill.
November 6, 20205 yr 2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said: My wife is in the "Karen has this so I need it" Facebook group. That's just called Facebook.
November 6, 20205 yr On 11/5/2020 at 2:35 AM, Superhero said: Not mine, but someone's wife doing stupid shit nonetheless... So I've been clearing out my garage and selling old stuff on FB Marketplace. Last night a woman asked to buy the Radio Flyer wagon I had listed. I say great, and let's figure out a time/place to meet. She asked for my venmo and phone number, and said her husband would reach out to confirm. Right after that message, my phone dings and I got $50 from her. I delivered the goods 6 hours later. Maybe because I'm a jaded asshole who last lost total faith in humanity, but if I'm buying something from a stranger on the internet, I want one hand on the goods before slowly handing over the cash. I wanted to tell the husband that his wife is a nut, but figured he already knew his wife does stupid shit. A strange woman gave you $50, you delivered the goods, and you’re complaining about it. Ok.
November 6, 20205 yr I was talking to the wife about buying something, I can't remember what it was. She wanted it, so she said "Let's pull the plug" instead of "pull the trigger". I said I'm glad you didn't say that to the doctor when I was in the hospital last month and he told us about treatment options. Mega tone in my direction.
November 6, 20205 yr Popular Post On FB Market shit. My wife sold like 6 old glass mugs for $2. Set them on the porch, they were going to put the $2 under the mat. First person flaked out so I brought them back in. Then set them back out a couple of days later for the second buyer. They never showed up either. This happened about 3 more times. Finally, I set them out. Waited until she was asleep. Took them to my work and threw them away then stopped at the ATM, took out $20. Stopped at a bar and got a beer to break up the $20. Then stuck $2 bucks under the mat.
November 6, 20205 yr My 7 year old asked at dinner the other night how many feet are in a mile? Wife chimes in “3,230”. I look up at her and just shake my head. She then proceeds to google to prove to me She is right...
November 7, 20205 yr 12 hours ago, wd40 said: she read on Pinterest or somewhere about using styrofoam pieces for in her potting mix for house plants. Buy her a bag of perlite.
November 7, 20205 yr 7 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said: On FB Market shit. My wife sold like 6 old glass mugs for $2. Set them on the porch, they were going to put the $2 under the mat. First person flaked out so I brought them back in. Then set them back out a couple of days later for the second buyer. They never showed up either. This happened about 3 more times. Finally, I set them out. Waited until she was asleep. Took them to my work and threw them away then stopped at the ATM, took out $20. Stopped at a bar and got a beer to break up the $20. Then stuck $2 bucks under the mat. You're the Mug Fairy!
November 7, 20205 yr 10 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said: On FB Market shit. My wife sold like 6 old glass mugs for $2. Set them on the porch, they were going to put the $2 under the mat. First person flaked out so I brought them back in. Then set them back out a couple of days later for the second buyer. They never showed up either. This happened about 3 more times. Finally, I set them out. Waited until she was asleep. Took them to my work and threw them away then stopped at the ATM, took out $20. Stopped at a bar and got a beer to break up the $20. Then stuck $2 bucks under the mat. Well done. What are you asking her to sell next?
November 7, 20205 yr 2 hours ago, OrangEngr said: Phone cases. Why? Because they're advertised on TV and she knows someone who bought one?
November 9, 20205 yr On 11/6/2020 at 8:43 PM, WhatTheBuck said: Buy her a bag of perlite. ok, whatever. it's not about the nail. the extent of my gardening involvement is limited to the heavy lifting. I built my daughter a vegetable garden box out of a giant skid from my wife's previous employer and made two trips to the dirt store to fill it. and I picked up some chimney flues for my wife (another pinterest thing, I'm sure) to plant some cactus and shit in the front of the house (where the once-proud boogie board resides, in pieces). oh yeah. I also eat the peppers and tomatoes out of the veggie garden. no one else in the house does, even though they're awesome.
November 9, 20205 yr 8 minutes ago, wd40 said: ok, whatever. it's not about the nail. the extent of my gardening involvement is limited to the heavy lifting. I built my daughter a vegetable garden box out of a giant skid from my wife's previous employer and made two trips to the dirt store to fill it. and I picked up some chimney flues for my wife (another pinterest thing, I'm sure) to plant some cactus and shit in the front of the house (where the once-proud boogie board resides, in pieces). oh yeah. I also eat the peppers and tomatoes out of the veggie garden. no one else in the house does, even though they're awesome. But seriously, think of styrofoam as white trash perlite. Perlite is cheap, it's natural, and functions better as a soil amendment than styrofoam. It will aerate the soil better and it's porous so it will bind up nutrients better. If you have an outdoor garden, you can dump the old potting soil from your dead houseplant there. I wouldn't recommend doing that if you put styrofoam in it. Might also want to look into some vermiculite for water retention.
November 9, 20205 yr On 11/6/2020 at 5:51 PM, Cody2422 said: My 7 year old asked at dinner the other night how many feet are in a mile? Wife chimes in “3,230”. I look up at her and just shake my head. She then proceeds to google to prove to me She is right... What did she find?
November 9, 20205 yr My fiancé’s sister came over last night for the first time in a long time because she’s having issues with her boyfriend because she wants to have a poly relationship. He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. (There’s more to this story but it’s not the point) After a few hours of just hanging out, she starts crying and we find out that it’s “the girl’s” birthday. So we’re like wtf go be with her. Long story short the girl decides to drive down to meet for drinks. Of course, all the bars are booked for hours so they end up back at our place. My girl/avatar gets drunk about once a year and I guess last night was that night. It strikes midnight, I’m about to go to sleep and she says “I think we should paint!”. (We got into painting mid COVID when we were bored, it was fun but hadn’t in a while) I facepalm and say “babe, it’s a little late, maybe a movie would be better.” Oh now it’s painting time. Well, I decide since I don’t want to see the result of the paint massacre I know is coming and go to bed. Dia Lupa (don’t look her up) then starts being blasted and so does the drunk screams. A couple hours later she stumbles into bed and I ask how did the paintings go, and she says “oh we just primed them so far”....it was two hours later. After a couple hours of sleep, I start walking into the kitchen and notice little paw prints on the floor. I bend down to wipe the first one away and it’s stuck on. Wtf? I follow the foot prints all the way into the kitchen and notice about 100 cat paw prints of lovely paint on the hardwood floor....they left the wet paintings on the counter and the cats decided to have their own paint party. When she wakes up i tell her what happens and she says “oh it’s not a big deal watch” while she grabs a paper towel, wets it, and scrubs the floor. Nothing happens. “No big deal huh?”. TONE. act 2 ”hey babe, I didn’t know you started your period last night.” She says, “I didn’t.” Son of a bitch. In the middle of the night I see white paper flying from under the bed. The cat was ripping up toilet paper. In my sleepy state in picked everything up, threw it away, and then realized I had blood on my hand. Of course, the cat only goes crazy for tampons in the trash. As she cracks up, “Hey babe, I’m glad you and my sister got closer last night.” I’m lucky.
November 9, 20205 yr 4 minutes ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said: My fiancé’s sister came over last night for the first time in a long time because she’s having issues with her boyfriend because she wants to have a poly relationship. He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. (There’s more to this story but it’s not the point) After a few hours of just hanging out, she starts crying and we find out that it’s “the girl’s” birthday. So we’re like wtf go be with her. Long story short the girl decides to drive down to meet for drinks. Of course, all the bars are booked for hours so they end up back at our place. My girl/avatar gets drunk about once a year and I guess last night was that night. It strikes midnight, I’m about to go to sleep and she says “I think we should paint!”. (We got into painting mid COVID when we were bored, it was fun but hadn’t in a while) I facepalm and say “babe, it’s a little late, maybe a movie would be better.” Oh now it’s painting time. Well, I decide since I don’t want to see the result of the paint massacre I know is coming and go to bed. Dia Lupa (don’t look her up) then starts being blasted and so does the drunk screams. A couple hours later she stumbles into bed and I ask how did the paintings go, and she says “oh we just primed them so far”....it was two hours later. After a couple hours of sleep, I start walking into the kitchen and notice little paw prints on the floor. I bend down to wipe the first one away and it’s stuck on. Wtf? I follow the foot prints all the way into the kitchen and notice about 100 cat paw prints of lovely paint on the hardwood floor....they left the wet paintings on the counter and the cats decided to have their own paint party. When she wakes up i tell her what happens and she says “oh it’s not a big deal watch” while she grabs a paper towel, wets it, and scrubs the floor. Nothing happens. “No big deal huh?”. TONE. act 2 ”hey babe, I didn’t know you started your period last night.” She says, “I didn’t.” Son of a bitch. In the middle of the night I see white paper flying from under the bed. The cat was ripping up toilet paper. In my sleepy state in picked everything up, threw it away, and then realized I had blood on my hand. Of course, the cat only goes crazy for tampons in the trash. As she cracks up, “Hey babe, I’m glad you and my sister got closer last night.” I’m lucky. So, shoulda flushed the tampon, huh? Wait...
November 9, 20205 yr 12 minutes ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said: My fiancé’s sister came over last night for the first time in a long time because she’s having issues with her boyfriend because she wants to have a poly relationship. He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. (There’s more to this story but it’s not the point) After a few hours of just hanging out, she starts crying and we find out that it’s “the girl’s” birthday. So we’re like wtf go be with her. Long story short the girl decides to drive down to meet for drinks. Of course, all the bars are booked for hours so they end up back at our place. My girl/avatar gets drunk about once a year and I guess last night was that night. It strikes midnight, I’m about to go to sleep and she says “I think we should paint!”. (We got into painting mid COVID when we were bored, it was fun but hadn’t in a while) I facepalm and say “babe, it’s a little late, maybe a movie would be better.” Oh now it’s painting time. Well, I decide since I don’t want to see the result of the paint massacre I know is coming and go to bed. Dia Lupa (don’t look her up) then starts being blasted and so does the drunk screams. A couple hours later she stumbles into bed and I ask how did the paintings go, and she says “oh we just primed them so far”....it was two hours later. After a couple hours of sleep, I start walking into the kitchen and notice little paw prints on the floor. I bend down to wipe the first one away and it’s stuck on. Wtf? I follow the foot prints all the way into the kitchen and notice about 100 cat paw prints of lovely paint on the hardwood floor....they left the wet paintings on the counter and the cats decided to have their own paint party. When she wakes up i tell her what happens and she says “oh it’s not a big deal watch” while she grabs a paper towel, wets it, and scrubs the floor. Nothing happens. “No big deal huh?”. TONE. act 2 ”hey babe, I didn’t know you started your period last night.” She says, “I didn’t.” Son of a bitch. In the middle of the night I see white paper flying from under the bed. The cat was ripping up toilet paper. In my sleepy state in picked everything up, threw it away, and then realized I had blood on my hand. Of course, the cat only goes crazy for tampons in the trash. As she cracks up, “Hey babe, I’m glad you and my sister got closer last night.” I’m lucky. username checks out
November 9, 20205 yr 1 hour ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said: He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. It was nice of you to let your wife write some of the story. Now tell us how you really feel. Don't worry, she's not reading (or is she?).
November 9, 20205 yr On FB Market shit. My wife sold like 6 old glass mugs for $2. Set them on the porch, they were going to put the $2 under the mat. First person flaked out so I brought them back in. Then set them back out a couple of days later for the second buyer. They never showed up either. This happened about 3 more times. Finally, I set them out. Waited until she was asleep. Took them to my work and threw them away then stopped at the ATM, took out $20. Stopped at a bar and got a beer to break up the $20. Then stuck $2 bucks under the mat. Only way this story possibly gets topped is if one of her “buyers” just flat out steals the mugs and she files a police report
November 9, 20205 yr 4 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said: Only way this story possibly gets topped is if one of her “buyers” just flat out steals the mugs and she files a police report
November 9, 20205 yr Popular Post 18 hours ago, RockyMountainHighHorn said: My fiancé’s sister came over last night for the first time in a long time because she’s having issues with her boyfriend because she wants to have a poly relationship. He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. (There’s more to this story but it’s not the point) After a few hours of just hanging out, she starts crying and we find out that it’s “the girl’s” birthday. So we’re like wtf go be with her. Long story short the girl decides to drive down to meet for drinks. Of course, all the bars are booked for hours so they end up back at our place. My girl/avatar gets drunk about once a year and I guess last night was that night. It strikes midnight, I’m about to go to sleep and she says “I think we should paint!”. (We got into painting mid COVID when we were bored, it was fun but hadn’t in a while) I facepalm and say “babe, it’s a little late, maybe a movie would be better.” Oh now it’s painting time. Well, I decide since I don’t want to see the result of the paint massacre I know is coming and go to bed. Dia Lupa (don’t look her up) then starts being blasted and so does the drunk screams. A couple hours later she stumbles into bed and I ask how did the paintings go, and she says “oh we just primed them so far”....it was two hours later. After a couple hours of sleep, I start walking into the kitchen and notice little paw prints on the floor. I bend down to wipe the first one away and it’s stuck on. Wtf? I follow the foot prints all the way into the kitchen and notice about 100 cat paw prints of lovely paint on the hardwood floor....they left the wet paintings on the counter and the cats decided to have their own paint party. When she wakes up i tell her what happens and she says “oh it’s not a big deal watch” while she grabs a paper towel, wets it, and scrubs the floor. Nothing happens. “No big deal huh?”. TONE. act 2 ”hey babe, I didn’t know you started your period last night.” She says, “I didn’t.” Son of a bitch. In the middle of the night I see white paper flying from under the bed. The cat was ripping up toilet paper. In my sleepy state in picked everything up, threw it away, and then realized I had blood on my hand. Of course, the cat only goes crazy for tampons in the trash. As she cracks up, “Hey babe, I’m glad you and my sister got closer last night.” I’m lucky. Let me get this straight...your fiancé, her sister and her sister's female side piece are all drunk in your house at midnight wanting to paint and you...go to bed alone. This is not the dear penthouse letter I was here for. I have pictures in my head of a fourway paint fight turned FFFM orgy and you ruined it.
November 9, 20205 yr On FB Market shit. My wife sold like 6 old glass mugs for $2. Set them on the porch, they were going to put the $2 under the mat. First person flaked out so I brought them back in. Then set them back out a couple of days later for the second buyer. They never showed up either. This happened about 3 more times. Finally, I set them out. Waited until she was asleep. Took them to my work and threw them away then stopped at the ATM, took out $20. Stopped at a bar and got a beer to break up the $20. Then stuck $2 bucks under the mat. Thats just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
November 10, 20205 yr On 11/6/2020 at 12:50 PM, Jameslaw121 said: On FB Market shit. My wife sold like 6 old glass mugs for $2. Set them on the porch, they were going to put the $2 under the mat. First person flaked out so I brought them back in. Then set them back out a couple of days later for the second buyer. They never showed up either. This happened about 3 more times. Finally, I set them out. Waited until she was asleep. Took them to my work and threw them away then stopped at the ATM, took out $20. Stopped at a bar and got a beer to break up the $20. Then stuck $2 bucks under the mat. You, sir, are a platinum level, bad-ass player and make the most out of your trips to the ATM.
November 10, 20205 yr On 11/8/2020 at 11:03 PM, RockyMountainHighHorn said: My fiancé’s sister came over last night for the first time in a long time because she’s having issues with her boyfriend because she wants to have a poly relationship. He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. (There’s more to this story but it’s not the point) After a few hours of just hanging out, she starts crying and we find out that it’s “the girl’s” birthday. So we’re like wtf go be with her. Long story short the girl decides to drive down to meet for drinks. Of course, all the bars are booked for hours so they end up back at our place. My girl/avatar gets drunk about once a year and I guess last night was that night. It strikes midnight, I’m about to go to sleep and she says “I think we should paint!”. (We got into painting mid COVID when we were bored, it was fun but hadn’t in a while) I facepalm and say “babe, it’s a little late, maybe a movie would be better.” Oh now it’s painting time. Well, I decide since I don’t want to see the result of the paint massacre I know is coming and go to bed. Dia Lupa (don’t look her up) then starts being blasted and so does the drunk screams. A couple hours later she stumbles into bed and I ask how did the paintings go, and she says “oh we just primed them so far”....it was two hours later. After a couple hours of sleep, I start walking into the kitchen and notice little paw prints on the floor. I bend down to wipe the first one away and it’s stuck on. Wtf? I follow the foot prints all the way into the kitchen and notice about 100 cat paw prints of lovely paint on the hardwood floor....they left the wet paintings on the counter and the cats decided to have their own paint party. When she wakes up i tell her what happens and she says “oh it’s not a big deal watch” while she grabs a paper towel, wets it, and scrubs the floor. Nothing happens. “No big deal huh?”. TONE. act 2 ”hey babe, I didn’t know you started your period last night.” She says, “I didn’t.” Son of a bitch. In the middle of the night I see white paper flying from under the bed. The cat was ripping up toilet paper. In my sleepy state in picked everything up, threw it away, and then realized I had blood on my hand. Of course, the cat only goes crazy for tampons in the trash. As she cracks up, “Hey babe, I’m glad you and my sister got closer last night.” I’m lucky. can we go back to the diet coke/tea story?
November 11, 20205 yr 7 hours ago, BHMCruiser said: can we go back to the diet coke/tea story? My apologies. Back to the chalkboard
November 11, 20205 yr One hour ago, we were down to the last wine glass of the collection we got as a wedding gift. In that time, I broke one when I was really drunk after a UT game. As of 5 minutes ago, we are at zero. She doesn't drink wine.....She has literally broken 5 wine glasses that I was drinking out of.....
November 11, 20205 yr 2 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said: One hour ago, we were down to the last wine glass of the collection we got as a wedding gift. In that time, I broke one when I was really drunk after a UT game. As of 5 minutes ago, we are at zero. She doesn't drink wine.....She has literally broken 5 wine glasses that I was drinking out of..... You let her break all of your precious wedding gift wine glasses? You bastard!
November 11, 20205 yr Wife decided to make a pot roast in her Instant Pot instead of the Crock Pot like we always do. It wasn’t fully cooked after nearly 12 hours of cooking. But somehow I’m the asshole when I ask why she didn’t simply cook it in the Crock Pot. Fucking rookie mistake...
November 11, 20205 yr Instapot pot roasts are great. It takes 20 minutes per pound plus natural pressure release. No way she turned it on if it was in there 12 hours and didn’t cook.
November 11, 20205 yr my wife has been making noises about Instapots, lately. my response has consistently been: gotta get rid of the bread maker. doing the math, I figure I would've gotten laid about the same whether I got her the bread maker she asked for or not. "fool me once", etc.
November 11, 20205 yr Instapot pot roasts are great. It takes 20 minutes per pound plus natural pressure release. No way she turned it on if it was in there 12 hours and didn’t cook.I know nothing about them and refuse to learn because I didn’t want one in the first place. She’s made some good stuff in it before (credit where it’s due) but this time the carrots, potatoes, and roast were all hard as shit. I don’t think she used the pressure cooking option and just used it like a slow cooker since it has the glass lid. Oh, and by the way, it’s off and still on the counter so that’ll be fun to clean...
November 11, 20205 yr 9 hours ago, wd40 said: my wife has been making noises about Instapots, *Expensive Rice Cooker.
November 11, 20205 yr 8 hours ago, TKthunder2 said: I know nothing about them and refuse to learn because I didn’t want one in the first place. She’s made some good stuff in it before (credit where it’s due) but this time the carrots, potatoes, and roast were all hard as shit. I don’t think she used the pressure cooking option and just used it like a slow cooker since it has the glass lid. Oh, and by the way, it’s off and still on the counter so that’ll be fun to clean... I’m no expert here, but my wife has one of these too. I’m 99% certain they do not come with a glass lid and are not meant to be used with one. It looks like she just put the glass lid from a small crockpot onto the instapot and hoped it would work. That was doomed for failure. The whole point of one of these IS the pressure cooking.
November 11, 20205 yr 3 minutes ago, Frank The Tank said: I’m no expert here, but my wife has one of these too. I’m 99% certain they do not come with a glass lid and are not meant to be used with one. It looks like she just put the glass lid from a small crockpot onto the instapot and hoped it would work. That was doomed for failure. The whole point of one of these IS the pressure cooking.
November 11, 20205 yr They do have glass lids that you can get that are probably 5x more expensive that another similar glass lid. My uneducated guess would be that they are used to simply keep the food hot after cooking something in it with the pressure cooker lid on it. Surely she didn't cook a roast, in an Instant Pot, without the pressure cooker lid on it. Right?
November 11, 20205 yr 11 minutes ago, You don't know me said: Surely she didn't cook a roast, in an Instant Pot, without the pressure cooker lid on it. Right?
November 11, 20205 yr We got or a few months ago and I’ve cooked a ton of stuff in it. Chopped carrots and potatoes take 4 minutes on the high pressure setting, plus around 10 minutes to heat up/pressurize and 10 more to cool/depressurize. I have made 5 lb beef and pork roasts in it that were great, and only took about 90 minutes start to finish including browning the outside first in it with the sauté setting.
November 11, 20205 yr I just checked and there is a slow cooking option that can be used with the optional glass lid. I wasn’t going to be able to let that go... https://instantpot.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/InstantPot-IP-LUX-Manual-English-v2-web.pdf
November 11, 20205 yr 5 minutes ago, TKthunder2 said: I just checked and there is a slow cooking option that can be used with the optional glass lid. I wasn’t going to be able to let that go... https://instantpot.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/InstantPot-IP-LUX-Manual-English-v2-web.pdf
November 11, 20205 yr 14 hours ago, TKthunder2 said: Wife decided to make a pot roast in her Instant Pot instead of the Crock Pot like we always do. It wasn’t fully cooked after nearly 12 hours of cooking. But somehow I’m the asshole when I ask why she didn’t simply cook it in the Crock Pot. Fucking rookie mistake... Yeah, she fucked up somewhere. My wife has made her last 3 roasts in the Instant Pot and they were delicious.
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