Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

Just now, Kennythetiger said:

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

9 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

You can tell who’s an experienced husband by who noticed the “we”’ in my original post. 

It’ll be on a Saturday, and he’ll be expected to help get shit ready for it. He will not be expected to sit on the couch and watch college football. 

That’s on him. I had a prohibition against my participation in garage sales for my 19 years of marriage. It was a known.

Of course I am divorced now so maybe not the best example. But I still don’t do fucking garage sales.
30 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

If it's my wife she'll decide she needs some posterboard and scotch tape for a sign and head to Dollar General. She will return several hours later. 

46 minutes ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

& When she returns, she will be pissed because he sold stuffed animals for fifty cents each instead of $ 15.00 each, chipped & soiled furniture for less than $ 10 & baby clothes for $ 1.00 per t-shirt.

On the bright side, most of the shit he wanted to keep got walked back into the house where it belongs.

3 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Please post before and after pics.

I believe you meant coming and going pics of the ladies, right?

  • Popular Post
4 hours ago, txhorns said:

He'll be expected to run the garage sale because she "forgot" that she scheduled a spa day on that same day where she will be gone for 6 hours.

Easiest thing in the world. Put all the shit in the truck, take it to the dump, and drop $217.85 cents on the kitchen counter and watch football all day. World's Most Successful Garage Sale.

  • Popular Post
Easiest thing in the world. Put all the shit in the truck, take it to the dump, and drop $217.85 cents on the kitchen counter and watch football all day. World's Most Successful Garage Sale.

This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

One and only garage sale I've ever participated in was during a community garage sale. The ex wound up buying more shit from the neighbors than shit we got rid of. 

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

32 minutes ago, EE2B said:

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

 

10 hours ago, burns_312 said:


This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

quality posts


This is the answer. My wife wanted to have a garage sale right before we moved into our new house. I told her no problem, get everything you want as part of the sale to the garage and I’ll handle it from there. She went to an appt the Thursday night before the garage sale, I borrowed a dump trailer from a friend, piled all the shit into it, left $500 on the kitchen counter with her name on it and went to the bar. True story.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My experience was if you let the wife do her thing, people will actually show up and pay you some amount of money to take some of your trash off your hands before you take the rest to the dump. Mind bottling I know.

Humorous, not stupid, thing my wife said.

"It's so huge I can't even get my hands around it."

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately she was speaking about a cucumber from the garden.

4 hours ago, tbone_ said:


My experience was if you let the wife do her thing, people will actually show up and pay you some amount of money to take some of your trash off your hands before you take the rest to the dump. Mind bottling I know.

Not mine.  She has an insane idea of what this shit is valued.  Like, "Hey, I paid $ 30 for this 8 years ago & it is in GREAT shape - I should be able to get at least $ 25 for it."  Never mind that an equal whatever can be found @ Goodwill for $ 7.50.

1 hour ago, Chopper said:

Humorous, not stupid, thing my wife said.

"It's so huge I can't even get my hands around it."

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately she was speaking about a cucumber from the garden.

 

  • Popular Post

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

wedding.thumb.jpg.3a515c60919161a1a9dd6b28167e2289.jpg

13 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

wedding.thumb.jpg.3a515c60919161a1a9dd6b28167e2289.jpg

She married Will Muschamp?

18 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Will did alright for himself

Will Muschamp (@CoachWMuschamp) | Twitter

That's exactly what that grin is saying.." yeah thats right buddy"

On 9/27/2021 at 11:48 AM, tbone_ said:


That’s on him. I had a prohibition against my participation in garage sales for my 19 years of marriage. It was a known.

Of course I am divorced now so maybe not the best example. But I still don’t do fucking garage sales.

Thank god I've mostly convinced the women in my family the tax write off for donating is worth more. I did pay the college daughter(no pix!) $100 to not have one and donate the stuff.

53 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

The most stupid thing she ever did.  31 years ago tomorrow..

wedding.thumb.jpg.3a515c60919161a1a9dd6b28167e2289.jpg

Oh, Trixie!  

We made mac n cheese for dinner and I hear the garbage disposal run while she was cleaning up. I asked her if she put the noodles in the disposal and she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. I told her you aren’t supposed to do that and she asked who said and I responded with non retards across America. 

23 minutes ago, Clintonaldo said:

We made mac n cheese for dinner and I hear the garbage disposal run while she was cleaning up. I asked her if she put the noodles in the disposal and she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. I told her you aren’t supposed to do that and she asked who said and I responded with non retards across America. 

GE fucked husbands when they named their version a Disposall. Should have just named it a throw-every-bit-of-fucking-trash-down-the-sink-all.

 

Actually maybe naming it Disposall was their plan to ensure replacement unit sales.

3 hours ago, Clintonaldo said:

 she answered yes like I was a dumb ass. 

Well, is she wrong?

  • Popular Post

It would be rude to finish the ice cream -- her entire family.dc933a849665e5a5cb3ce215bae742f0.jpg

1 minute ago, Beau Vine said:

It would be rude to finish the ice cream -- her entire family.dc933a849665e5a5cb3ce215bae742f0.jpg

Folks have been shot over less.

Not less ice cream, though. 

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.
This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

Awesome. From what I’ve gathered in my experience just this week alone from a local high school team we transport is volleyball moms are on an entirely different level of over the top.

2 trips so far this week, clean up has been smoothies from tropical smoothie cafe (I assume there’s a half sandwich) and a bunch of blaze pizza boxes. Not as crazy as the mom in your scenario…but ain’t nobody got time to order 3 or 4 for pizzas from some national chain that’ll cost under $50 these days
6 hours ago, Wade said:

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

lol I would've said your daughter must be on my daughter's team except we had Body Armor to drink and no stairs at our gym. 

7 hours ago, Wade said:

Not my wife, but mother in charge of bringing snacks and drinks today for 6th grade girls vball team showed up with lunch bags filled with gummy bears, chips, snack bars, caramel packs and a couple other items I forget.  Brought a 54 quart cooler filled near to the brim with ice for 20 ten ounce gatorade bottles and an hour long game, lol.  She had to lug that stuff across a large parking lot and up a flight of stairs to get to the court.

This was only game 2.  We'll see if the other mothers took note and step up to the challenge.

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

9 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

It would be rude to finish the ice cream -- her entire family.

Looks like strawberry. She can throw it out for all I care.

3 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

Old guy rant:  When I was a kid, the "gift" you got was being invited to the fucking party.  "Gift bags"?  Fuck that shit. /Old guy rant.

Narrator:  "& In spite of that rant, YES, his wife DID give out gift bags for all the parties held for his children."

7 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

Old guy rant:  When I was a kid, the "gift" you got was being invited to the fucking party.  "Gift bags"?  Fuck that shit. /Old guy rant.

Narrator:  "& In spite of that rant, YES, his wife DID give out gift bags for all the parties held for his children."

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

17 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

How about NO gift bag.  What about that notion?  Fuck that stupidity.

My wife went & bought a home cotton candy maker thing for Roxxette's birthday - think it was 10 years old (she's 16 now... fuck off on pics, pervs).
Guess what?  We still have it, wife won't sell it, the fucking thing just eats up real estate in the pantry.

On 9/28/2021 at 8:23 AM, EE2B said:

Last garage sale we had we did it on a day she was working. The sale went so well I started pulling shit out of the house while she was at work and selling it. She still brings it up from time to time about she would never have another garage sell with me. Problem solved.

We had one about 6 years ago.  Getting rid of a bunch of baby stuff and different types of furniture.  Had some decent stuff.  Most of the big stuff was gone by 9 am.  Maybe $1k total.  My handyman Mexican dude brought his family over and wanted a bunch of clothes.  I told him he could have it all and everything else remaining provided he took it all.  He was happy to do so.  Back to normal saturday by 10 am.

This was easier than schlepping it all to goodwill and we made some cash.

Doubt I ever do it again though.  I have lots of younger nieces and nephews.  They get all our kids stuff when they grow or age out of it.  Nice little slow removal of clutter every 6 months or so.  I don't like a bunch of shit in my house unless it's stuff we use.

36 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said:

How about NO gift bag.  What about that notion?  Fuck that stupidity.

 

Narrator: 

idi-amin-laugh.gif.9720873fb3482681ad614db79b9ce353.gif

5 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This ranks up there with providing party gifts to kids that attend your kids’ birthday party.

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

Just now, Beau Vine said:

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

2 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

When my daughter was little, one of her friends gave out live goldfish for the party gift.  We of course had to immediately go out and buy a tank and a filter for this thing.  It lived something like 8 years.  All the other kids' fish died within a week.  

If you want to get back at them, a turtle or two make a fine gift

 

stallonetop.png

5 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

I had pony. 

5 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

One time a few years ago my sister really pissed me off.  She was on all kinds of shit trying to get pregnant again, but I told her if she didn’t get the attitude in check her kid was getting a pony for her birthday.  

0h30m20sTWO_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bqiolo8za7XA1HPLnV_Y2qpqtXIBGNfoQYnmWEh3juuvQ.jpeg.a51fb5e15573f5a0658f955bf8542969.jpeg

12 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I had pony. 

I hate anyone who ever had a pony growing up.

30 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I had pony. 

Was it a little one?  

18 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Well, is she wrong?

That’s not relevant to the story. 

1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

I hate anyone who ever had a pony growing up.

So did their parents. 

2 hours ago, ztejas said:

I had pony. 

Cool story brony. You need to update your avatar. 
14889731265_1306a5b28f_z.jpg

  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

None of them want to be that  mom that gives out the cheapest gift bag. 

Nope, this old grandpa probably holds the record for that. I posted it elsewhere but don't remember where, but my granddaughter always loved the little personal shampoos and conditioners and soaps that I accumulate during my many motels stays and I had probably one and a half bathroom drawers full of them. So when her mother was getting ready to make up the gift bags my granddaughter told her don't worry I've got it taken care of Pawpaw is helping me(I had no knowledge of this conversation whatsoever). So her mother says go ahead and fix them then and to her horror when the gift bags were passed out they were stuffed full of the soaps shampoos and conditioners that I had collected from the road. Needless to say my daughter nearly died of embarrassment, and wanted to kill me until she found out I did not have anything to do with it and did not even know about it.

Edited by SHOOTER12

How about NO gift bag.  What about that notion?  Fuck that stupidity.

My wife went & bought a home cotton candy maker thing for Roxxette's birthday - think it was 10 years old (she's 16 now... fuck off on pics, pervs).
Guess what?  We still have it, wife won't sell it, the fucking thing just eats up real estate in the pantry.

Throw the machine in the trash. Tell your wife you lent it out to some guy that you hardly see. Put something useful in its place in the pantry. She’ll forget all about it.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.