December 21, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, hayden_horn said: my wife asked me if i could give "our amazon guy" something or other, i forget.
December 21, 20214 yr 8 minutes ago, ROFL BOX said: Will it work more than 50 yard away from the house? It plugs in to a switch, so no. It won't work 5 feet away from her desk
December 21, 20214 yr 36 minutes ago, Flg8rfan said: My wife likes to sleep in on the weekends, I’m totally down with it, she gets up super early during the week and it gives me quiet time to drink my coffee, etc. Last Saturday we had people over to make Christmas cookies. It’s chaotic but lots of fun. 10 am she gets up and is huffing around trying to clean, get things ready, etc. I always enjoy reminding her that is she got up with me she wouldn’t be so pressed for time. Any guesses as to how Christmas is going to go? FAFO
December 21, 20214 yr 17 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said: It plugs in to a switch, so no. It won't work 5 feet away from her desk Revised: "All that to tell us your wife doesn't have a cell phone that will allow her to make calls while you're driving?"
December 22, 20214 yr On 12/17/2021 at 6:36 AM, crimsonlonghorn said: There's a post in the hunting thread about a wife who managed to set a riding mower on fire.... reminded me of Mrs CL earlier this fall. She had decided that she no longer liked the plastic cattle troughs on our property and wanted to replace then with galvanized because they "look bad and are bad for the environment." OK, whatever, but I can't help until next weekend. This is not a pressing need and I'm booked up with other stuff. So she gets our farm truck and drives to Tractor Supply herself and gets two galvanized water troughs and then decides she'll go drop them off in the pasture before it gets dark. I warn her that's not a good idea so late in the day. Three hours later, well after dark, she calls me to come get her. The truck is stuck in a ditch out in the pasture and she's really sorry. She's crying and she's covered in mud and she lost a boot trying to walk through the mud to get back to her car and her phone. I tell her that I'll pull the truck out with the tractor the next morning when it gets light. Shouldn't be too difficult. She's still crying because she doesn't want me mad at her and she's really really sorry etc etc. I actually kind of feel sorry for her by the end. The next morning as we're heading back out there, we're talking and I offhandedly mention that it must be really stuck if she couldn't get it out with four wheel drive. "It has four wheel drive?" I'm starting to think I'm not going to need the tractor. Took me about 15 seconds to get It out. The second best part of this story is how she thinks the plastic feed troughs are bad for the environment, so she needs to toss them immediately and replace them with new metal ones.
December 22, 20214 yr 11 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said: The second best part of this story is how she thinks the plastic feed troughs are bad for the environment, so she needs to toss them immediately and replace them with new metal ones. They are using the same part of their brain that calculates the savings of buying all the shit they didn't need just because it was on sale.
December 22, 20214 yr Popular Post Well mine got us kicked out of a bar in Nashville over the weekend. Long bathroom line for the women. no line for the men. She goes into the mens since she’s sloshed. Sheriff and 4 bouncers start escorting her to the door when she walks out. I see it and walk over. Sheriff says auto eject on stuff like that so I close out the tab and we head to the next bar. Highlight of that story is that the mens bathroom had no stalls.
December 22, 20214 yr Well mine got us kicked out of a bar in Nashville over the weekend. Long bathroom line for the women. no line for the men. She goes into the mens since she’s sloshed. Sheriff and 4 bouncers start escorting her to the door when she walks out. I see it and walk over. Sheriff says auto eject on stuff like that so I close out the tab and we head to the next bar. Highlight of that story is that the mens bathroom had no stalls. Thoughts and prayers to the men who were in the bathroom at that moment even tho Women do this at practically every bar/game/concert and not one guy cares.
December 22, 20214 yr 1 minute ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said: "Can you grab me the Confederate sugar?" You mean, like Amway Sugar?
December 22, 20214 yr 18 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said: "Can you grab me the Confederate sugar?" Took me a second. Wow.
December 22, 20214 yr 3 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Well mine got us kicked out of a bar in Nashville over the weekend. Long bathroom line for the women. no line for the men. She goes into the mens since she’s sloshed. Sheriff and 4 bouncers start escorting her to the door when she walks out. I see it and walk over. Sheriff says auto eject on stuff like that so I close out the tab and we head to the next bar. Highlight of that story is that the mens bathroom had no stalls. Lol what? What is this - the 1950s?
December 22, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, ztejas said: Lol what? What is this - the 1950s? Got me. I can't imagine who would have told on her. Nobody was even in the men's bathroom.
December 22, 20214 yr 5 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Well mine got us kicked out of a bar in Nashville over the weekend. Long bathroom line for the women. no line for the men. She goes into the mens since she’s sloshed. Sheriff and 4 bouncers start escorting her to the door when she walks out. I see it and walk over. Sheriff says auto eject on stuff like that so I close out the tab and we head to the next bar. Highlight of that story is that the mens bathroom had no stalls. Not understanding what the problem was, did she shit in the urinal?
December 22, 20214 yr 4 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said: "Can you grab me the Confederate sugar?" otherwise known as "anything but brown sugar"
December 22, 20214 yr Not understanding what the problem was, did she shit in the urinal?She shouldn’t told security her pronouns were he/him/his
December 22, 20214 yr Not understanding what the problem was, did she shit in the urinal?I’ll have to ask if she waffle stomped one.
December 23, 20214 yr 6 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Got me. I can't imagine who would have told on her. Nobody was even in the men's bathroom. Probably a pissed off hall monitor Karen in the chick bathroom line
December 23, 20214 yr 7 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Got me. I can't imagine who would have told on her. Nobody was even in the men's bathroom. guaran fucking tee the snitch was a bitch cunt who was waiting in line and pissed she didnt think to run into the mens room
December 23, 20214 yr 13 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Highlight of that story is that the mens bathroom had no stalls.
December 23, 20214 yr Me: You should bring a jacket. It gets pretty cold after the sun got down. Wife: But it’s so hot now, I don’t need a jacket. 3 hours later… Wife: Oh my gosh, I was so cold sitting there watching (our son) during soccer practice. I should have brought a jacket.
December 23, 20214 yr My wife is well-read, and well-educated (two different post-grad degrees), but there is one fucking word choice that she CANNOT get right, and she even argues scout it with me, insisting that her choice is the right one, or “either one works for this situation”: parameter vs perimeter.For example, we checked out an old church in Germany last week. The inside was closed, but we could walk around the the outside. She says “let’s just walk the parameter.” I started to correct her….but after having had this argument 1,000 times over 25+ years, I just kept my mouth shut and walked the perimeter with her.parameter nounpa·ram·e·ter | \ pə-ˈra-mə-tər \Essential Meaning of parameter: a rule or limit that controls what something is or how something should be doneperimeter nounpe·rim·e·ter | \ pə-ˈri-mə-tər \Definition of perimeter1a : the boundary of a closed plane figureb : the length of a perimeter2 : a line or strip bounding or protecting an area3 : outer limits —often used in pluralMan….it so bugs me.
December 23, 20214 yr Brisket, keep your dumbshit Germany shit in one thread. No one gives a fuck elsewhere.
December 23, 20214 yr Why do women gets so pissed when you tell them they snore? My wife will lay on her side and snore directly into my left ear. I have to sleep with ear plugs and it still doesn't stop the noise. She takes meds to sleep and it's impossible to wake her up at night. I have to shake her to wake her enough to roll over. After about 3-4 nights of 5 hours or less sleep, I try to talk to her about it. When I mention she snores, she goes ballistic. Every damn time I mention it a fight ensues.
December 23, 20214 yr 23 minutes ago, Crapinon said: Why do women gets so pissed when you tell them they snore? My wife will lay on her side and snore directly into my left ear. I have to sleep with ear plugs and it still doesn't stop the noise. She takes meds to sleep and it's impossible to wake her up at night. I have to shake her to wake her enough to roll over. After about 3-4 nights of 5 hours or less sleep, I try to talk to her about it. When I mention she snores, she goes ballistic. Every damn time I mention it a fight ensues. Women don't snore or fart or shit or burp. Duh, those are things that disgusting men do.
December 23, 20214 yr Popular Post 37 minutes ago, Brisketexan said: My wife is well-read, and well-educated (two different post-grad degrees), but there is one fucking word choice that she CANNOT get right, and she even argues scout it with me, insisting that her choice is the right one, or “either one works for this situation”: parameter vs perimeter. For example, we checked out an old church in Germany last week. The inside was closed, but we could walk around the the outside. She says “let’s just walk the parameter.” I started to correct her….but after having had this argument 1,000 times over 25+ years, I just kept my mouth shut and walked the perimeter with her. parameter noun pa·ram·e·ter | \ pə-ˈra-mə-tər \ Essential Meaning of parameter : a rule or limit that controls what something is or how something should be done perimeter noun pe·rim·e·ter | \ pə-ˈri-mə-tər \ Definition of perimeter 1a : the boundary of a closed plane figure b : the length of a perimeter 2 : a line or strip bounding or protecting an area 3 : outer limits —often used in plural Man….it so bugs me. She probably uses "about" instead of "scout" too. Bitch.
December 23, 20214 yr 1 hour ago, Crapinon said: Why do women gets so pissed when you tell them they snore? My wife will lay on her side and snore directly into my left ear. I have to sleep with ear plugs and it still doesn't stop the noise. She takes meds to sleep and it's impossible to wake her up at night. I have to shake her to wake her enough to roll over. After about 3-4 nights of 5 hours or less sleep, I try to talk to her about it. When I mention she snores, she goes ballistic. Every damn time I mention it a fight ensues. Record her and play it back for her. Let us know what she says.
December 23, 20214 yr 5 hours ago, Brisketexan said: My wife is well-read, and well-educated (two different post-grad degrees), but there is one fucking word choice that she CANNOT get right, and she even argues scout it with me, insisting that her choice is the right one, or “either one works for this situation”: parameter vs perimeter. For example, we checked out an old church in Germany last week. The inside was closed, but we could walk around the the outside. She says “let’s just walk the parameter.” I started to correct her….but after having had this argument 1,000 times over 25+ years, I just kept my mouth shut and walked the perimeter with her. parameter noun pa·ram·e·ter | \ pə-ˈra-mə-tər \ Essential Meaning of parameter : a rule or limit that controls what something is or how something should be done perimeter noun pe·rim·e·ter | \ pə-ˈri-mə-tər \ Definition of perimeter 1a : the boundary of a closed plane figure b : the length of a perimeter 2 : a line or strip bounding or protecting an area 3 : outer limits —often used in plural Man….it so bugs me. As does “scout” and “about.” Sure they rhyme, but they don’t mean anything close to the same thing! edit: @idigTexas beat me to it. Edited December 23, 20214 yr by nnm
December 23, 20214 yr 5 hours ago, Brisketexan said: My wife is well-read, and well-educated (two different post-grad degrees), but there is one fucking word choice that she CANNOT get right, and she even argues scout it with me, Is it scout and about? Yeah that would really piss me off too.
December 23, 20214 yr 9 minutes ago, ztejas said: Is it scout and about? Yeah that would really piss me off too. I hate all of you. Almost as much as I hate spellcheck and Tapatalk. But not quite. For that, I'll kill you last.
December 23, 20214 yr 6 hours ago, Superhero said: Me: You should bring a jacket. It gets pretty cold after the sun got down. Wife: But it’s so hot now, I don’t need a jacket. 3 hours later… Wife: Oh my gosh, I was so cold sitting there watching (our son) during soccer practice. I should have brought a jacket. I keep an extra for my wife in my truck....
December 23, 20214 yr Me: You should bring a jacket. It gets pretty cold after the sun got down. Wife: But it’s so hot now, I don’t need a jacket. 3 hours later… Wife: Oh my gosh, I was so cold sitting there watching (our son) during soccer practice. I should have brought a jacket. Last Christmas 100% on my own and own thoughtfulness bought my wife a battery operated heated jacket. She loved it. In November 21 we had some colder soccer games. Damn thing was still in the box. I got tone for reminding her about it.
December 23, 20214 yr My brother, dad, and I took all 4 kids to the movies yesterday. Literally no issues, had a great time. Today, my mom, wife, and sister took the kids to another movie and it was chaos. Yelling at me to find this and that, acting like I’m a jerk because I’m watching football instead of helping get them ready, brother is going through the same this with his wife. When we took the kids yesterday and the girls were drinking wine and talking, we didn’t bother them because had no need too.
December 23, 20214 yr 8 hours ago, Crapinon said: Why do women gets so pissed when you tell them they snore? My wife will lay on her side and snore directly into my left ear. I have to sleep with ear plugs and it still doesn't stop the noise. She takes meds to sleep and it's impossible to wake her up at night. I have to shake her to wake her enough to roll over. After about 3-4 nights of 5 hours or less sleep, I try to talk to her about it. When I mention she snores, she goes ballistic. Every damn time I mention it a fight ensues. Nothings worse than them yelling at you about snoring after you had a few beers and you tell them they snore every fucking night. They don’t care
December 23, 20214 yr Me: You should bring a jacket. It gets pretty cold after the sun got down. Wife: But it’s so hot now, I don’t need a jacket. 3 hours later… Wife: Oh my gosh, I was so cold sitting there watching (our son) during soccer practice. I should have brought a jacket. Any ski trip gems?
December 23, 20214 yr 2 hours ago, hundredTT said: My brother, dad, and I took all 4 kids to the movies yesterday. Literally no issues, had a great time. Today, my mom, wife, and sister took the kids to another movie and it was chaos. Yelling at me to find this and that, acting like I’m a jerk because I’m watching football instead of helping get them ready, brother is going through the same this with his wife. When we took the kids yesterday and the girls were drinking wine and talking, we didn’t bother them because had no need too. Reminds me of watching our toddler. She takes the daughter on some girls only 6 hour jaunt and me and the 2yo boy hang out all day with no issues. I leave the house for 2 hours to run some errands and come home and she's acting like I left her with a rabid pitbull and it's my fault he's rabid and oh yeah I'm an asshole for needing to get my oil changed.
December 24, 20214 yr 22 hours ago, AUS-97HORN said: guaran fucking tee the snitch was a bitch cunt who was waiting in line and pissed she didnt think to run into the mens room No, the rat, bitch squealing cunt knew the men would throw her hog looking ass out.
December 24, 20214 yr 3 hours ago, hundredTT said: My brother, dad, and I took all 4 kids to the movies yesterday. Literally no issues, had a great time. Today, my mom, wife, and sister took the kids to another movie and it was chaos. Yelling at me to find this and that, acting like I’m a jerk because I’m watching football instead of helping get them ready, brother is going through the same this with his wife. When we took the kids yesterday and the girls were drinking wine and talking, we didn’t bother them because had no need too. why you gotta be such a prick? Here's the thing, I've got a 1 yo and he's curious and gets into shit but I let him find his own consequences as long as they aren't going to injure him. When she comes home though, I'll go on and on about what a nightmare he is to be with. Guess what I don't ever have to listen to? Edited December 24, 20214 yr by mulletpelini
December 24, 20214 yr On 12/22/2021 at 7:48 AM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Well mine got us kicked out of a bar in Nashville over the weekend. Long bathroom line for the women. no line for the men. She goes into the mens since she’s sloshed. Sheriff and 4 bouncers start escorting her to the door when she walks out. I see it and walk over. Sheriff says auto eject on stuff like that so I close out the tab and we head to the next bar. Highlight of that story is that the mens bathroom had no stalls. Pics of wife?
December 24, 20214 yr 4 hours ago, NorthLoop said: I leave the house for 2 hours to run some errands and come home and she's acting like I left her with a rabid pitbull and it's my fault he's rabid and oh yeah I'm an asshole for needing to get my oil changed. She’s not pissed about the oil change- she’s pissed about the two beers you stopped and had in peace and quiet on your way home.
December 24, 20214 yr 15 hours ago, Superhero said: Me: You should bring a jacket. It gets pretty cold after the sun got down. Wife: But it’s so hot now, I don’t need a jacket. 3 hours later… Wife: Oh my gosh, I was so cold sitting there watching (our son) during soccer practice. I should have brought a jacket. For ten years I have been grabbing two jackets. It’s just easier that way. I will also take her eyeglasses, even when she “doesn’t need them”.
December 24, 20214 yr We drove to the in-laws today. She usually says I am too tense on the trips trying to get everyone out of the house so we can fight the I-35 traffic all the way to the Oklahoma border. Today I was calm and let them goof around counting presents on the floor so we did not get out of the driveway until 1:00 and even went back for the ear buds that were forgotten. I just nodded and agreed to sit in a line at Chick-fil-A in Georgetown so that after an hour in the car we were 20 miles down the road. Still calm but then the questions about what is bothering me came as I'm in stand still traffic in Waco. Nothing was bothering me but she asked like she was disappointed.
December 24, 20214 yr So on the right hand side that’s a street light. Left side was the interesting part to her as it was a shadow of a palm tree on our across the street neighbor’s garage. so at midnight a few nights ago we had a few friends over and she says “I love this time of year because it’s the only time of year you get to see that shadow.” I asked once, nicely if she wanted to rethink that. The dude just about fell out of his chair and the other girl said “well it’s because the sun is in a different spot in the winter”.
December 24, 20214 yr 8 hours ago, TexasEd said: We drove to the in-laws today. She usually says I am too tense on the trips trying to get everyone out of the house so we can fight the I-35 traffic all the way to the Oklahoma border. Today I was calm and let them goof around counting presents on the floor so we did not get out of the driveway until 1:00 and even went back for the ear buds that were forgotten. I just nodded and agreed to sit in a line at Chick-fil-A in Georgetown so that after an hour in the car we were 20 miles down the road. Still calm but then the questions about what is bothering me came as I'm in stand still traffic in Waco. Nothing was bothering me but she asked like she was disappointed. Serenity now, insanity later
December 24, 20214 yr On 12/23/2021 at 9:35 AM, Kilgorehorn said: Record her and play it back for her. Let us know what she says. I already sent that to him. Well, she was snoring there at the end anyways
December 24, 20214 yr On 12/22/2021 at 10:43 AM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said: Got me. I can't imagine who would have told on her. Nobody was even in the men's bathroom. Other women.
December 24, 20214 yr Wife just finished a drill instructor dress down of our kids to be ready by 1230 for company to start arriving. meanwhile it’s 1045 and she’s still cleaning the house like a mad person with no end in sight and still has to shower and get ready herself. just wanted to get that into the minutes here in case things go too far south when I ask her why she wasn’t ready on time after lecturing our kids. Or maybe she’ll surprise me.
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