December 29, 20213 yr 15 hours ago, tbone_ said: I used to just go get in the car and back it completely into the street and wait………………….. Well you’re divorced now so I guess that didn’t work. Or did.
December 29, 20213 yr Popular Post We are going to visit my parents over New Years so my wife took the vehicle in to get an oil change. The service engine light has been coming on intermittently, I figured it was just an O2 sensor and not something major, so I asked her if they had read the code. She tells me she didn't ask them, but rather she googled it and knew what it was. I was completely dumbfounded and told to her that there was no way google could tell you what the check engine light meant. I explained to her that you need and obd2 reader to download the code which identifies the problem. Knowing that I must be wrong, she then proceeded to read to me this laundry list of possibilities that a check engine light could indicate as per google.
December 29, 20213 yr Over / under on how long before brisket uses this post to mention his Germany trip again?We also went to Denmark this round, fuckstick.Joke’s on you!Also….did I tell you about the time I met Susanna Hoffs?
December 29, 20213 yr 45 minutes ago, Brisketexan said: We also went to Denmark this round, fuckstick. Joke’s on you! Also….did I tell you about the time I met Susanna Hoffs?
December 29, 20213 yr We are going to visit my parents over New Years so my wife took the vehicle in to get an oil change. The service engine light has been coming on intermittently, I figured it was just an O2 sensor and not something major, so I asked her if they had read the code. She tells me she didn't ask them, but rather she googled it and knew what it was. I was completely dumbfounded and told to her that there was no way google could tell you what the check engine light meant. I explained to her that you need and obd2 reader to download the code which identifies the problem. Knowing that I must be wrong, she then proceeded to read to me this laundry list of possibilities that a check engine light could indicate as per google. Google also says you need to swap the engine, new radiator, new alternator, new tires and new brake lines to fix the problem.
December 29, 20213 yr So... This isn't on my wife per se but my entire in-law family. Wife's sister is visiting and staying with us (in Allen). But she's supposed to meet some high school friends tonight, and they are going to pick her up from their parents (in Dallas). Fine. We're going to go have lunch with @Knoxtnhorn in Rowlett. Then drop her off at her parents. We don't have keys to her parents. So sil called . Say I'm dropping SIL off between 12:30 and 1 Head that way after lunch. Should be there about 12:50. ME : One of yall needs to call you dad and remind him to be home between 12:30 and 1 Them : oh it'll be fine. Me : Texts FIL - will be there about 12:45. FIL : good - we should be home around then. They weren't there... Me. to wife : I fucking hate your family sometimes.... Edited December 29, 20213 yr by Jameslaw121
December 29, 20213 yr @Jameslaw121 All that meant was that you had to stare at your hot-ass SIL for a few more mins. No sympathy here.
December 29, 20213 yr 6 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said: @Jameslaw121 All that meant was that you had to stare at your hot-ass SIL for a few more mins. No sympathy here. No pics.
December 29, 20213 yr Google also says you need to swap the engine, new radiator, new alternator, new tires and new brake lines to fix the problem. It's the blinker fluid.
December 31, 20213 yr On 12/29/2021 at 4:32 PM, Knoxtnhorn said: @Jameslaw121 All that meant was that you had to stare at your hot-ass SIL for a few more mins. No sympathy here. Go on….
December 31, 20213 yr 1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said: Go on…. Sorry. No pics. @Jameslaw121 and that entire side of the family would kill me. I will add this, though... she's got an identical twin.
December 31, 20213 yr On 12/29/2021 at 2:42 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said: Google also says you need to swap the engine, new radiator, new alternator, new tires and new brake lines to fix the problem. And that you have an incurable disease and are going to die.
December 31, 20213 yr Popular Post 30 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said: Sorry. No pics. @Jameslaw121 and that entire side of the family would kill me. I will add this, though... she's got an identical twin. So post pictures of the "twin."
January 1, 20223 yr Went to LBK yesterday and got haircut with 23YO son at same barber where he got his first one growing up and where I still frequent, event though it's 120 miles away. We go out to eat and have a great meal, make a stop at sister-in-law's house to drop off a gift, and then we head to HEB which is located on the far south side of town, but it's the only one in town( and it's open.) Wife gets her some wine, we get some beer, meats, other stuff for New Years and check out. We are then going to head back north, and stop at my mom's 20 miles away and say hi while I make sure her outside faucets are covered and have no hoses hooked up. We're on a bit of a timer as we have dogs back at the house that are gonna want out within about 7-8 hours of when we left. Wife: " I want to go to Soda Shack." This after I had noticed the punch card on her console from the establishment while driving down that morning. Knowing she really likes it, I ask where it is located. "It's right by my sister's house" "We drove right by it? That's 5 miles in the other direction. Why didn't you say something then,,," I stopped, knowing there wasn't a rational answer coming. " ok we'll go." As we pull into the drive through line, I ask everyone what they want. Wife exuberantly belts out, " A diet Dr Pepper with the cream in it?" "Wait, you mean like the 3 Sonics do that we passed coming over here?" Son is in back seat dying laughing. " No way did we drive all the way over here to get that. You're ordering some razzle-dazzle shit that you can't get anywhere else." " Ok...but it's a really good Dt Dr pepper." I will never get that shit. She's an absolute sweetheart, and when she wants something she mostly gets it; but that was a true, "WTF????" moment.
January 1, 20223 yr 30 minutes ago, slorch said: Went to LBK yesterday and got haircut with 23YO son at same barber where he got his first one growing up and where I still frequent, event though it's 120 miles away. We go out to eat and have a great meal, make a stop at sister-in-law's house to drop off a gift, and then we head to HEB which is located on the far south side of town, but it's the only one in town( and it's open.) Wife gets her some wine, we get some beer, meats, other stuff for New Years and check out. We are then going to head back north, and stop at my mom's 20 miles away and say hi while I make sure her outside faucets are covered and have no hoses hooked up. We're on a bit of a timer as we have dogs back at the house that are gonna want out within about 7-8 hours of when we left. Wife: " I want to go to Soda Shack." This after I had noticed the punch card on her console from the establishment while driving down that morning. Knowing she really likes it, I ask where it is located. "It's right by my sister's house" "We drove right by it? That's 5 miles in the other direction. Why didn't you say something then,,," I stopped, knowing there wasn't a rational answer coming. " ok we'll go." As we pull into the drive through line, I ask everyone what they want. Wife exuberantly belts out, " A diet Dr Pepper with the cream in it?" "Wait, you mean like the 3 Sonics do that we passed coming over here?" Son is in back seat dying laughing. " No way did we drive all the way over here to get that. You're ordering some razzle-dazzle shit that you can't get anywhere else." " Ok...but it's a really good Dt Dr pepper." I will never get that shit. She's an absolute sweetheart, and when she wants something she mostly gets it; but that was a true, "WTF????" moment. So did you put cream in her Dr. Pepper?
January 1, 20223 yr Popular Post You drive 120 miles for a haircut and then bitch about a 5 mile detour?
January 1, 20223 yr 2 hours ago, nnm said: So did you put cream in her Dr. Pepper? Is that what you kids are calling it now-a-days?
January 1, 20223 yr 1 hour ago, baboso said: You drive 120 miles for a haircut and then bitch about a 5 mile detour? Drove down there to see folks and do other things. The point was more about returning to a spot that was 5 miles out of the way, by which we had already driven...only for her to order a drink we could have gotten most anywhere. But I'm sure with your keen insights, you caught that.
January 4, 20223 yr Popular Post The oldest kid had some sort of testing done at school (she's dyslexic, so it was something related to that). We got a print out of the scores, and as the wife is reading through them she's commenting like "oh, she didn't do very good here with a 60, but she's awesome in this area where she got a 138." Since those numbers don't mean anything to me, I ask what the scale is. She says it's a 100 point scale, which leads me to state what seemed obvious. After a couple minutes of me contesting that it's NOT a 100 point scale due to many areas being scored above 100, I was assured I have no idea how these things work. Apparently our child is a super genius that put the entire testing system on trial.
January 4, 20223 yr On 12/31/2021 at 9:44 AM, Knoxtnhorn said: Sorry. No pics. @Jameslaw121 and that entire side of the family would kill me. I will add this, though... she's got an identical twin. Worst dear penthouse ever.
January 4, 20223 yr 5 minutes ago, SquishMitten said: The oldest kid had some sort of testing done at school (she's dyslexic, so it was something related to that). We got a print out of the scores, and as the wife is reading through them she's commenting like "oh, she didn't do very good here with a 60, but she's awesome in this area where she got a 138." Since those numbers don't mean anything to me, I ask what the scale is. She says it's a 100 point scale, which leads me to state what seemed obvious. After a couple minutes of me contesting that it's NOT a 100 point scale due to many areas being scored above 100, I was assured I have no idea how these things work. Apparently our child is a super genius that put the entire testing system on trial. This a true dad here. No fucking clue what is going on at school, like dads are supposed to be. I have to ask my wife what the hell is going on with most things that pertain to schooling, scheduling, or bills around this MFer.
January 4, 20223 yr 34 minutes ago, SquishMitten said: The oldest kid had some sort of testing done at school (she's dyslexic, so it was something related to that). We got a print out of the scores, and as the wife is reading through them she's commenting like "oh, she didn't do very good here with a 60, but she's awesome in this area where she got a 138." Since those numbers don't mean anything to me, I ask what the scale is. She says it's a 100 point scale, which leads me to state what seemed obvious. After a couple minutes of me contesting that it's NOT a 100 point scale due to many areas being scored above 100, I was assured I have no idea how these things work. Apparently our child is a super genius that put the entire testing system on trial. You may or may not be surprised as to how many teachers have the same issue understanding basic data. Hell, I had a principal flip out on me due to a STAR pretest we took in which my class score was a 35. I had to explain that is wasn't on a 0 - 100 scale, and that we finished in the top quartile (compared to others) despite being extremely low socioeconomically.
January 4, 20223 yr Popular Post 2 hours ago, SquishMitten said: The oldest kid had some sort of testing done at school (she's dyslexic, so it was something related to that). We got a print out of the scores, and as the wife is reading through them she's commenting like "oh, she didn't do very good here with a 60, but she's awesome in this area where she got a 138." Since those numbers don't mean anything to me, I ask what the scale is. She says it's a 100 point scale, which leads me to state what seemed obvious. After a couple minutes of me contesting that it's NOT a 100 point scale due to many areas being scored above 100, I was assured I have no idea how these things work. Apparently our child is a super genius that put the entire testing system on trial. Maybe you should sign up your wife for that testing too
January 4, 20223 yr Popular Post On 12/29/2021 at 10:02 AM, txfan75 said: We are going to visit my parents over New Years so my wife took the vehicle in to get an oil change. The service engine light has been coming on intermittently, I figured it was just an O2 sensor and not something major, so I asked her if they had read the code. She tells me she didn't ask them, but rather she googled it and knew what it was. I was completely dumbfounded and told to her that there was no way google could tell you what the check engine light meant. I explained to her that you need and obd2 reader to download the code which identifies the problem. Knowing that I must be wrong, she then proceeded to read to me this laundry list of possibilities that a check engine light could indicate as per google. Not to derail the thread, but.... With all the silicon in cars today and touchscreen infotainment centers with all the bells and whistles... Why can't we get a data readout in plain English for those error codes instead of the Check Engine light that forces us to go to a repair shop to have the codes "read"?
January 4, 20223 yr 31 minutes ago, Eugene11 said: i think trashmasters wife got ahold of his account...... Not married. Nice try.
January 4, 20223 yr 47 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said: Not married. Nice try. 1 hour ago, Eugene11 said: i think trashmasters girlfriend got ahold of his account...... fify
January 4, 20223 yr 6 hours ago, SquishMitten said: "oh, she didn't do very good here with a 60, but she's awesome in this area where she got a 138." That’s an average off 99. On a 100 point scale, that’s pretty good.
January 5, 20223 yr Oh thank heavens, I don’t know how we could’ve ever managed dinner without this. Fuck you, Mike.
January 5, 20223 yr In my office replying to some work emails, typing away...wife enters...oblivious to anything else going on. Wife: Do you want to come with me to check out this table that I found on swap, I want to replace the one in the kitchen nook? Me: Not really, but I will come if you want. Wife: You need to come, otherwise you will complain about it when I buy it. Me: OK, I will come, but why are you asking me if I want to come, just say you need me to come with you. Wife: What time will work? Me: Anytime after 3pm is fine with me. Wife: Well, I have to pick up the boys and do x, y, z and you need to pick up the girl and I have to run by my parents, so it won't be right at 3pm, probably closer to 5:30, is that ok? Me: Is that after 3pm? Wife: tone. God damnit just get to the point. Edited January 5, 20223 yr by Anastasis
January 5, 20223 yr 56 minutes ago, Anastasis said: In my office replying to some work emails, typing away...wife enters...oblivious to anything else going on. Wife: Do you want to come with me to check out this table that I found on swap, I want to replace the one in the kitchen nook? Me: Not really, but I will come if you want. Wife: You need to come, otherwise you will complain about it when I buy it. Me: OK, I will come, but why are you asking me if I want to come, just say you need me to come with you. Wife: What time will work? Me: Anytime after 3pm is fine with me. Wife: Well, I have to pick up the boys and do x, y, z and you need to pick up the girl and I have to run by my parents, so it won't be right at 3pm, probably closer to 5:30, is that ok? Me: Is that after 3pm? Wife: tone. God damnit just get to the point. They have to accentuate how daunting and perilous their accumulated time wasting busy work actually is, in their mind. "I had to do all these things today!!!" You didn't do shit. You did a whole bunch of things normal people do in a given day and you're courting a sympathy spa day as a reward.
January 5, 20223 yr The kicker is that we have a nice ethan allen multi-leaf table, virtually identical to the one that she wants to replace it with. The current one has these little "ridges" between the boards that require some effort to clean. So it must go and be replaced with another. FML.
January 5, 20223 yr 3 hours ago, SuperSport said: Oh thank heavens, I don’t know how we could’ve ever managed dinner without this. Fuck you, Mike. You need these too so she can finally make a decision about what she wants for dinner.
January 5, 20223 yr Maybe you should sign up your wife for that testing tooWhat will her grade be?"W" as in wife?Sent from my SM-A326U1 using Tapatalk
January 5, 20223 yr 4 minutes ago, davidg said: You need these too so she can finally make a decision about what she wants for dinner. Divorce: 1 letter longer and 10000x more expensive than Dinner.
January 5, 20223 yr when I buy it. You already lost, you just didn't know it yet.Sent from my SM-A326U1 using Tapatalk
January 5, 20223 yr 2 hours ago, Anastasis said: The kicker is that we have a nice ethan allen multi-leaf table, virtually identical to the one that she wants to replace it with. The current one has these little "ridges" between the boards that require some effort to clean. So it must go and be replaced with another. FML. The horror.
January 5, 20223 yr I've fallen victim to the clothes hanger tango that has been brought up on this thread. The wife is continually throwing out hangers because we have too many, then buying more because we don't have enough.
January 6, 20223 yr 23 hours ago, ROFL BOX said: You already lost, you just didn't know it yet. She decided that the table was too small. I guess they couldn't trade measurements via IM or email before I had to go look at it.
January 7, 20223 yr Course you never really know about the size for sure until you have it in your own space.
January 7, 20223 yr I recently heard her use the phrase “chester drawers” to refer to a dresser, or what a normal person might call a chest of drawers. Even after I lovingly explained how wrong and stupid that is, she persists in thinking that is an acceptable phrase to use in front of other adult human beings. Unbelievable.
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