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19 hours ago, Brothahorn said:

She calls them 'moo-cows' as opposed to 'oink-cows'.

WTF? 

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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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1 hour ago, lateshow said:

WTF?

I understand using it around kids. But she uses in adult conversations. Last week she used it in front of a coworker. We both looked at her like the ding-dong she was.

Edited by Brothahorn

i met my wife while we were both getting our phd's, so naturally, if I were to start posting in this thread, i'd probably win it

 

56 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

I understand using it around kids. But she uses in adult conversations. Last week she used it in front of a coworker. We both looked at her like the ding-dong she was.

does she wear adult diapers and ride around on a three wheeled bike?

35 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

i met my wife while we were both getting our phd's, so naturally, if I were to start posting in this thread, i'd probably win it

 

not so humble...

14 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

You're new here, and don't know Mitch's insanity nor Trixie, so I'll cut you a break, but you're not going to win. 

Truth. The man has no clue what he's up against. This is Mitch's thread. Full stop. 

I am new here. Perhaps some of y'all can summarize the Mitch/Trixie Greatest Hits for me? You know, for science

1 hour ago, AM Wood said:

not so humble...

neither of us actually got our phd's

Also worth adding that phd's are a very special sort. Especially in CS...

43 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

I am new here. Perhaps some of y'all can summarize the Mitch/Trixie Greatest Hits for me? You know, for science

have you ever seen a 8 foot inflatable blue crab hanging from the ceiling of a master bathroom

21 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Beau

Pretty sure it wasn't him, although maybe he wished it. The story was @Bill Brasky (better be the same Bill Brasky) wife was holding a gun and to demonstrate it wasn't loaded she pointed the gun at him and pulled the trigger.

No, that was an LSU guy. MikeTheTiger or something like that.

17 hours ago, skipperj said:

Correct. One key on my keychain, one on hers, one hanging on the key rack.

No, you need to hide the third key, or have a fourth key she doesn't know about somewhere. 

 

With your system she is going to lose her key and not tell you and then take the key on the key rack.  Then misplace that key and borrow your key (with or without asking) and then lose it or "go to Florida" with it.

14 minutes ago, GSU&UT said:

No, that was an LSU guy. MikeTheTiger or something like that.

LSU/Ole Miss. Same thing.

I am new here. Perhaps some of y'all can summarize the Mitch/Trixie Greatest Hits for me? You know, for science
If you don't have a Christmas wreath made out of rawhide dog bones hanging on your dining room wall - well, you'll be lucky to crack the top ten.
On 5/2/2018 at 4:53 PM, miguelito said:

She bought some new hangers

because we were running low

because she threw some out

because we had too many.

 

Sunrise, sunset....

 

20180624_132928_resized.jpg

Wife went to Seattle last week, on vacation with my SIL and MIL. My first question answered, upon arrival of how the trip went, was outside of it being beautiful and green, was there sure was a lot of “marijuana” signs around town!

I was like - you didn’t know it was legal there? Which she stated that there seemed to be a large amount of “transients” everywhere they went.

Not Trixie stuff, but sure made me give her the “Homer Simpson - doh, stare!”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Just now.

“Does the fan over the stove suck air out or push air in?”

2 hours ago, GSU&UT said:

No, that was an LSU guy. MikeTheTiger or something like that.

Close. shaggymikeVI

Most of the story is on this page at the old place

http://www.shaggytexas.com/board/showthread.php/69394-Wives-and-the-Stupid-!-They-Say-Do?p=3394735&viewfull=1#post3394735

Quote

I walk into the bedroom to ask her if she's ok, at which point she jumps in my face and tells me to put my gun together because she's going to blow her $#@!ing brains out. I keep an M4 assault rifle in it's case in my closet, and the case is such that the upper and lower must be separated for it to fit in there. I calmy explain to her that I will not put my gun together, and try to calm her down because she's fuming and snorting, and looking like a bull ready to charge. She screams "$#@! it, I'll figure it out," and runs to the closet where I keep it on the upper shelf. I run after her and get to where the gun is at the same time she does, grab the handle, and flip the case up and to the back of the shelf, out of her reach. While I'm holding the case back there to make sure she can't get it she begins punching and kicking and pinching me all over. After about 5 minutes i'm pretty sure she's forgotten about her idea to get the gun, so I drop my arms, and try and hold her so that she can't swing at me anymore. She eventually collapses to the floor, exhausted, but still breathing and panting like a rabid dog. I watched her for a few minutes, and finally she got up and went to the bathroom. Eventually she left the house and was gone for about 5 hours. She came back later (turns out she was at Wal-Mart shopping - remember, I said psycho), and I'm asleep in the bedroom with the door locked. 

 

Edited by retread

4 hours ago, skipperj said:

LSU/Ole Miss. Same thing.

 

8 hours ago, miguelito said:

 

Sunrise, sunset....

 

20180624_132928_resized.jpg

What's the Crazy Ring Thing (tm) on the right?

She's been banging a traveling shower curtain ring salesmen based out of the Midwest.

1 hour ago, BearMace said:

She's been banging a traveling shower curtain ring salesmen based out of the Midwest.

Can you blame her? 

maxresdefault.jpg

13 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Wait - who was the guy whose wife tried to shoot him?

Still the greatest story in the history of this thread(s).

9 hours ago, retread said:

Well, that's not the story I remember.  The awesome story was the guy rummaging around in the living room in the dark and his old lady pulls a gun on him.  He asks her what the fuck she's doing and she tells him she knew it wasn't loaded.  When he asked her how did she know, she said "Because nothing happened when I pulled the trigger."

Or something like that...

Yeah, she pulled the gun on him expecting him to be proud of her for trying to get used to handling it. Then she said she knew it wasn't loaded because she had tried to discharge a round into the floor.

On June 17, 2018 at 8:08 PM, luke duke said:

My wife just came inside to tell me that my air compressor was broken because it wouldn’t inflate her bike tire. This is what I found when I went out to the garage.

350e936f37858992a60a8167acdacb84.jpg

 

This makes me so proud of our daughter. When daughter was in high school, one morning she noticed a tire on her car was nearly flat. She drug the hose out, started compressor, plugged  chuck in and aired tire. Put everything up and made it to school. Couple days later told me and I swelled with pride. Said she had seen me do it.

3 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

This is wives and stupid shit thread, not daughters who might actually have a clue and seem pretty damn cool.

 

Yea I know. She's cool. As is our son. 

I can relate to many, many posts concerning wife. Thanks.

30 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

This is wives and stupid shit thread, not daughters who might actually have a clue and seem pretty damn cool.

 

One day she'll be a wife and forget all about the lessons she learned from dad. But then she'll be someone else's problem.

2 hours ago, EastTexan said:

 

This makes me so proud of our daughter. When daughter was in high school, one morning she noticed a tire on her car was nearly flat. She drug the hose out, started compressor, plugged  chuck in and aired tire. Put everything up and made it to school. Couple days later told me and I swelled with pride. Said she had seen me do it.

How old is your daughter?

Asking for a friend...

21 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

have you ever seen a 8 foot inflatable blue crab hanging from the ceiling of a master bathroom

No but I'm willing to try.

19 hours ago, miguelito said:

 

Sunrise, sunset....

 

20180624_132928_resized.jpg

 

I keep like 200 of these in the garage so I can just dole out as needed.

Is your wife a shower-curtain ring salesperson named Del Griffith?  

11 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

What's the Crazy Ring Thing (tm) on the right?

There's got to be a purpose to those things.  I have to admit that I'm intrigued.

3 minutes ago, G650 said:

You're going the wrong way.

How do you know which way he's going?

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

How do you know which way he's going?

ptadrunk.gif

2 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

How old is your daughter?

Asking for a friend...

Sorry, she's married already with two great kids. No pics.

16 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So you're saying she puts out

That's what I got from that.

20 hours ago, miguelito said:

 

Sunrise, sunset....

 

20180624_132928_resized.jpg

 

35 minutes ago, You don't know me said:

There's got to be a purpose to those things.  I have to admit that I'm intrigued.

Just because my collection of cock rings is hanging in the closet doesn't mean anything.  Really.  Promise.

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