Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

10 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

You know her phone isn't plugged in and it's only at 3%.

And it's in her purse and she has no clue where she left it

Edited by Cheeseweasel

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

On 12/11/2022 at 8:20 AM, Snake Diggity said:

That sound machine is a RAGING piece of shit.  My wife has bought 3 of them

Marpac is the answer.  Or a Google Home.

 

41pv+eFgQeL._AC_SL1024_.jpg

11 minutes ago, dcbc said:

Marpac is the answer.  Or a Google Home.

 

41pv+eFgQeL._AC_SL1024_.jpg

When I went and bought one for myself, guess what I bought?

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Real answer: $10 Walmart fan.

This too.

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Real answer: $10 Walmart fan.

Really? She doesn't scream "TURN OFF THE FAN, IT'S FREEZING IN HERE!!!"

That has been my experience.

18 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

Really? She doesn't scream "TURN OFF THE FAN, IT'S FREEZING IN HERE!!!"

That has been my experience.

Turn the fan towards the wall.

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Turn the fan towards the wall.

I wish

"if the fan is on, it makes the room cold" - doesn't matter where it's pointed

"the fan is too loud" - it isn't at all

"ear plugs give me ear infections" - no they don't

2 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

I wish

"if the fan is on, it makes the room cold" - doesn't matter where it's pointed

"the fan is too loud" - it isn't at all

"ear plugs give me ear infections" - no they don't

You've come to the right place.

Is that person stapled to the bed? What the hell is going on in South Korea?!?!

Shit North Koreans can only dream of!

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

19 minutes ago, huge said:

She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house

Fanophobia is serious, man.

27 minutes ago, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

I prefer this thread when it's cheeky and fun. That's just insane.

2 hours ago, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

I couldn't love a woman who didn't like ceiling fans.

At least not for more than 15 minutes or so.

22 hours ago, 52-80 said:

I did.  Random, nonsensical superstitions are always popping up.  Vacuuming at night is bad luck, whatever you do on New Year's Day is what you will do all year (I win on this one, as she always makes sure we fuck on 1/1), etc.  She's cool with fans tho.

 

3 hours ago, huge said:

My wife is 100% out of fans of any kind.  She ripped all the ceiling fans out of the house when we bought it other than the "cool" looking one in the boy's room.

I like sleeping in there.

Might do the same on our new house. Ceiling fans are exceptionally rare here. 
 

Material for Things That Make You Surly but unbalanced fans are like the derel - the absolute worst 

  • Popular Post
You know her phone isn't plugged in and it's only at 3%.
Sent to me less than an hour ago:

bad01a41f217900a99b0afc345700e66.jpg

There are certain random tasks that my wife just inexplicably blackholes out of her memory/scope, for no reasons that are comprehensible to me or probably anyone else. 

She has a mobile data subscription we use as a hotspot on a spare phone. Every few months the provider sends threatening SMS that the bill is overdue, and that service will be shut off in 1, 2, 3 weeks, etc. 

I remind wife and its always “stop telling me. im really busy. its on my list”.

Paying this thing is fully electronic and takes literally all of 3 minutes to do.  
 

The subscription is also fully work-expensable. Employer gave a deadline of Nov 30 for the year’s claim - and I remind her in the leading days and again its “i already know - quit bothering me with that”.  This one maybe takes 10 minutes to complete  

December 1 rolls around and what happens? “Oh shit, I forgot to expense the stupid phone thing”.  $600 down the toilet.

Its ‘her’ money and its not that much in the scheme of things. What I dont understand is how or why its such a touchy, standoffish subject, that she refuses to deal with herself but also wont allow me to handle instead.

Wow, if I had a reminder app like you that would help me do the process to pay my subscription, I would be overjoyed. She either thinks that you are a nag and wants to tune you out or she is an ungrateful bitch. Don't waste your time trying to help her with this. Just stop. 

On 12/14/2022 at 7:29 AM, burntorangebongos said:
Wow, if I had a reminder app like you that would help me do the process to pay my subscription, I would be overjoyed. She either thinks that you are a nag and wants to tune you out or she is an ungrateful bitch. Don't waste your time trying to help her with this. Just stop. 

I tried the hands-off approach with a Kohls card my ex just had to have to "save money", then fast forward 3 years to getting ready to purchase another home to find out her credit is wrecked because it's full of late payments. Big money saver...

Edited by Hmbre97

Our lives are pretty hectic right now with three kids, all involved in shit.  Every day we are running around town picking up and dropping off kids.  It is really hard to keep it all straight and my wife and I have to check in with each other every morning about the day's events.

A couple of weeks ago we had planned to decorate our tree on a Saturday night.  We had other plans throughout the day on Saturday.  I called an audible for myself on Saturday morning and did something other than what I said I would do during our planning session. My change of plans affected nothing and no one. Later that day, my wife tells me that she allowed our son to go spend the night at his cousin's house.  I got kinda pissed and told her, "But we were supposed to decorate the tree tonight as a family!"  My son wanted to participate, so we couldn't just do it without him.  Plus, we were already late getting to it and there was literally no other time to do it. So, to be clear, my wife's decision fucked up our plans and I got a little pissed about it. As these things go, somehow she got pissed at me. I asked her, "How is it that you fucked up, yet you are mad at me?"  Her answer was that it was a double standard because I changed the plans earlier in the day.  Yeah, but my change of plans didn't affect anyone else or cause us to not have time to do an important family activity. She completely did not agree or understand. I ended up just walking away and letting it all go.

On 12/10/2022 at 12:00 PM, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:


Point taken. However we are new to town so I can’t use relational stories yet.

Use a relatable analog from your old town. Something like "it's the one near the restaurant where your friend from work had that bad date would be if we were still in Scroton."

2 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

 As these things go, somehow she got pissed at me. I asked her, "How is it that you fucked up, yet you are mad at me?"  Her answer was that it was a double standard because I changed the plans earlier in the day.  Yeah, but my change of plans didn't affect anyone else or cause us to not have time to do an important family activity. She completely did not agree or understand. I ended up just walking away and letting it all go.

You're not allowed to win.

If we have plans to go somewhere, I'd be fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, sitting on the couch waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you lounging around, why don't you hurry, we're gonna be late and you'll make me look bad, etc etc etc".

Next time, I'm again fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, but now hanging by the foyer waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you hanging by the door, you're making feel pressured, stop trying to rush me, etc etc etc".

 

Mark-Wahlberg-Shock-and-Confused-Look.gi

 

Best place to do that waiting is in your running car in the driveway. For a whole bunch of reasons.

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

You're not allowed to win.

If we have plans to go somewhere, I'd be fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, sitting on the couch waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you lounging around, why don't you hurry, we're gonna be late and you'll make me look bad, etc etc etc".

Next time, I'm again fully dressed and prepared 30 minutes ahead of time, but now hanging by the foyer waiting for her to do whatever she needs to do.  Then suddenly, "why are you hanging by the door, you're making feel pressured, stop trying to rush me, etc etc etc".

 

Mark-Wahlberg-Shock-and-Confused-Look.gi

 

Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.

On 12/4/2022 at 10:07 PM, Modessit said:
On 12/4/2022 at 11:11 AM, Brisketexan said:

Looks like TWO KINDS of beans….plus bell pepper….and corn.
That’s some Midwest “chili” shit.
I mean, I’d probably eat it, but as a midwestern “Mexican stew.”

As a former Midwesterner - fuck no. No corn. No bell pepper. No cheese. Beans, yes, but dark red kidney beans only. Stewed tomatoes is the only other non-beef item besides the chili powder.

pinto says hi

I don't start preparing to go out until she's told he she's ready at least 3 times. Typically takes 5 times, so I have plenty of time to get dressed and be waiting by the time she's really ready.

Get fully dressed and have a beer (or 4)  in the garage; you’re out of sight but still ready to go at a moments notice.

5 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Best place to do that waiting is in your running car in the driveway. For a whole bunch of reasons.

A then just drive off at the time you both agreed that you would leave.

  • Popular Post

Told the good wife of 44 years that I had diabetes...her response

"Well you have lived longer than most."

Edited by deter
Error

  • Popular Post

Return to the roots...

1456135139_CumsteenLlamaftpk.thumb.jpg.7894576014c14480aedd31f917d91416.jpg

My wife is very levelheaded and has never made an appearance in this thread. But when we first started dating, I bought tickets to a Soundgarden concert. I told her we were leaving at 5:30 sharp. At 5:30, she still had wet hair, and still wasn’t dressed. I went without her. 29 years later, and she hasn’t made that mistake since. 
CHIEF

  • Popular Post

Christmas at the Cumsteen's

903152252_CumsteenLlama-frontdoor.thumb.jpg.06c881cba6eb7012b66a8bbf7962de85.jpg

42 minutes ago, RamjetFDO said:

Return to the roots...

1456135139_CumsteenLlamaftpk.thumb.jpg.7894576014c14480aedd31f917d91416.jpg

Spent way too long looking for Bert in this one.  Still couldn’t find him. 

20 minutes ago, Guadaloopy said:

Spent way too long looking for Bert in this one.  Still couldn’t find him. 

I'm stumped.

4 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'm stumped.

Top left. 

2 hours ago, EE2B said:

Top left. 

behind the window

It makes me giggle every time I see a Ramjet masterpiece.  I can just picture him sitting there putting on the finishing touches to the primary focus and then sitting back and contemplating the best place to put Bert.

13 minutes ago, Felix said:

It makes me giggle every time I see a Ramjet masterpiece.  I can just picture him sitting there putting on the finishing touches to the primary focus and then sitting back and contemplating the best place to put Bert.

Bert placement is often forefront in the design process ... can't have something non-important added to it that covers up "the perfect Bert spot".

15 minutes ago, Felix said:

It makes me giggle every time I see a Ramjet masterpiece.  I can just picture him sitting there putting on the finishing touches to the primary focus and then sitting back and contemplating the best place to put Bert.

I can see him laughing his ass off thinking about us fools spending time trying to find Bert.

  • Popular Post

Last night I was talking with the wife on the phone while we were both driving home (both on Bluetooth, not holding a phone).  All of a sudden she say “oh God!” Followed by a bunch of muffled noises for 5 seconds or so.  I truly thought I was hearing her have a car accident.  Turns out she had run up on a median of some sort.  As she tried to move the car off of it, she could hear scraping underneath the car.  I told her to call AAA and not tear the hole in the oil pan trying to move the car.  A Good Samaritan was able to check it out and help her back the car off the obstruction with no apparent damage to the car. 
 

This morning she calls me and tells me she ripped the passenger side mirror off the fucking car backing the car out of the garage. 
 

For fuck sake.   She’s done that at least 3-4 times with her previous cars.  

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.