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5 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Last night I was talking with the wife on the phone while we were both driving home (both on Bluetooth, not holding a phone).  All of a sudden she say “oh God!” Followed by a bunch of muffled noises for 5 seconds or so.  I truly thought I was hearing her have a car accident.  Turns out she had run up on a median of some sort.  As she tried to move the car off of it, she could hear scraping underneath the car.  I told her to call AAA and not tear the hole in the oil pan trying to move the car.  A Good Samaritan was able to check it out and help her back the car off the obstruction with no apparent damage to the car. 
 

This morning she calls me and tells me she ripped the passenger side mirror off the fucking car backing the car out of the garage. 
 

For fuck sake.   She’s done that at least 3-4 times with her previous cars.  

Just how hawt is she?

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11 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Last night I was talking with the wife on the phone while we were both driving home (both on Bluetooth, not holding a phone).  All of a sudden she say “oh God!” Followed by a bunch of muffled noises for 5 seconds or so.  I truly thought I was hearing her have a car accident.  Turns out she had run up on a median of some sort.  As she tried to move the car off of it, she could hear scraping underneath the car.  I told her to call AAA and not tear the hole in the oil pan trying to move the car.  A Good Samaritan was able to check it out and help her back the car off the obstruction with no apparent damage to the car. 
 

This morning she calls me and tells me she ripped the passenger side mirror off the fucking car backing the car out of the garage. 
 

For fuck sake.   She’s done that at least 3-4 times with her previous cars.  

If she drives like that and you still talk to her on the phone while she's driving then that's on you

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11 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Last night I was talking with the wife on the phone while we were both driving home (both on Bluetooth, not holding a phone).  All of a sudden she say “oh God!” Followed by a bunch of muffled noises for 5 seconds or so.  I truly thought I was hearing her have a car accident.  Turns out she had run up on a median of some sort.  As she tried to move the car off of it, she could hear scraping underneath the car.  I told her to call AAA and not tear the hole in the oil pan trying to move the car.  A Good Samaritan was able to check it out and help her back the car off the obstruction with no apparent damage to the car. 
 

This morning she calls me and tells me she ripped the passenger side mirror off the fucking car backing the car out of the garage. 
 

For fuck sake.   She’s done that at least 3-4 times with her previous cars.  

At your wedding reception did your new Father-in-law pat you on the back and whisper to you "She's your problem now."?  If not, I'm sure he was thinking it.

51 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If she drives like that and you still talk to her on the phone while she's driving then that's on you

No, just having a bad spell. I can’t remember that she’s ever had an accident that was her fault.  
Of course knocking mirrors off the car is not ideal. 

Edited by Lhorn

1 minute ago, Lhorn said:

No, just having a bad spell.

Did it start when she said "I do"?

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Did it start when she said "I do"?

IDK but that's when the sex stopped 

On 12/15/2022 at 8:40 AM, CHIEF said:

My wife is very levelheaded and has never made an appearance in this thread. But when we first started dating, I bought tickets to a Soundgarden concert. I told her we were leaving at 5:30 sharp. At 5:30, she still had wet hair, and still wasn’t dressed. I went without her. 29 years later, and she hasn’t made that mistake since. 
CHIEF

I've had a similar experience with the a Mrs. and by contrast I'm still catching shit about it on a regular basis 25 years later. 

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Couldn't resist making this one ...

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...and /nobert

Couldn't resist making this one ...
aniCumsteenLlamaBomb.gif
 
...and /nobert

Damn, this one got me. Funny shit, dude.
Couldn't resist making this one ...
aniCumsteenLlamaBomb.gif
 
...and /nobert

I mean you could have posted it without the edit and I still would have chuckled. Gets me every time…

My wife spent 4 full hours trying to fix the lights on a 17 year old Christmas wreath we haven’t used in 3 years.

And wasn't that 4 hours that she wasn't bothering you?

No because constant updates

Saw NMAS response- “No shit. Let her tackle whatever project she wants.”  
Then read Poke’s response to that. Slowly nodded head. 

My wife spent 4 full hours trying to fix the lights on a 17 year old Christmas wreath we haven’t used in 3 years.

And….?

She donated the broken one to Goodwill and bought a new one that was on sale. 

Edited by Kennythetiger

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

new one that was on sale.

On sale….

 

that doesn’t sound very wifeish.

8 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

On sale….

 

that doesn’t sound very wifeish.

Lucky bastard 

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1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

She donated the broken one to Goodwill and bought a new one that was on sale. 

So some poor person is going to spend their last dollar on Christmas decorations for their child with terminal cancer, get home, spend hours lovingly putting up the lights, call their child in to see the magic of Christmas, and then see the abject disappointment on their face when the lights don't work.

37 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

On sale….

 

that doesn’t sound very wifeish.

It was such a good deal she bought four of them in case one ever breaks.  Put the rest in storage where she will forget either where they are or that she has them.

4 hours ago, Incredulity said:

On sale….

 

that doesn’t sound very wifeish.

But it clashed with her purse so had to get a new one. But she didn't have any shoes that looked right with the new purse so had to pick some up. They were pretty pricey but also on sale


And….?

There were less lights working when she gave up than when she started. Wreaths are back in the barn instead of the trash trailer as I suggested.
On 12/17/2022 at 6:11 PM, GoPokes83 said:


There were less lights working when she gave up than when she started. Wreaths are back in the barn instead of the trash trailer as I suggested.

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Wife took yesterday and today off work to "get the house cleaned before Christmas."  

At about 2pm today, I looked around and the house was a complete wreck, so I got guilted into helping.  

So I grabbed a basket sitting on the counter that had about 100 old magazines in it and started to sort through them.  Made a throw-away pile and a keep pile.  She came over a few minutes later to go through the piles, and pulled a National Geographic out of the throwaway pile.  

(If you go back about 4 years in this thread, you'll find a post from me detailing our argument over her NG collection, part of which she moved from Seattle to Honolulu in 1995, and more which she moved from Honolulu to Texas in 1999.)

Me: "No!  We are not saving National Geographics again!"

Her: "I just want this one!"

Me: "WHY????"

Her: "Because I want to read it."

Here's the issue in question:

image.thumb.png.0e9643ed9e4796c162fd8c66f360cc8d.png

 

You have a basket of 30 year old magazines in your house? 

This seems like a collective effort. 

I don’t know- looks kind of interesting. It’s also older than a lot of members here. 

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

You have a basket of 30 year old magazines in your house? 

 

Not any more.

Quote

This seems like a collective effort. 

Nope, the oldest thing I had in the basket was a 2019 Dave Campbell issue.

And she wanted to save a bunch of old Texas Monthlies until I said, "THESE ARE ON THE INTERNET!!!"

Edited by Beau Vine

Magazines are still a thing?

Unfortunately not Mad, or National Lampoon…. Damn I’m old

I gladly subscribe to Grassroots Motorsports, and so should you.

7 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

Wife took yesterday and today off work to "get the house cleaned before Christmas."  

At about 2pm today, I looked around and the house was a complete wreck, so I got guilted into helping.  

So I grabbed a basket sitting on the counter that had about 100 old magazines in it and started to sort through them.  Made a throw-away pile and a keep pile.  She came over a few minutes later to go through the piles, and pulled a National Geographic out of the throwaway pile.  

(If you go back about 4 years in this thread, you'll find a post from me detailing our argument over her NG collection, part of which she moved from Seattle to Honolulu in 1995, and more which she moved from Honolulu to Texas in 1999.)

Me: "No!  We are not saving National Geographics again!"

Her: "I just want this one!"

Me: "WHY????"

Her: "Because I want to read it."

Here's the issue in question:

image.thumb.png.0e9643ed9e4796c162fd8c66f360cc8d.png

 

Are there boobs in this one?  If not, pitch.

11 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Magazines are still a thing?

I refuse to take my computer into the bathroom for a shit.

Had to move some firewood yesterday while it was snowing. Wife called and said it could be helpful to have it near the fireplace for easy access if the power went out.  

The wood burning fireplace is outside.  

3 hours ago, luke duke said:

e1ee3a0173c7b89f8648dbab9a52fc7b.png

Who buys just one potato? And if you were going to tie a bag around a potato, you’d complete the knot. And since the other bag obviously opened okay, you’d either put the potato in that bag or try another bag.

I think that’s fake. 

27 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Who buys just one potato? And if you were going to tie a bag around a potato, you’d complete the knot. And since the other bag obviously opened okay, you’d either put the potato in that bag or try another bag.

I think that’s fake. 

Who buys just one potato? - women who are making a recipe that calls for 1 potato

And if you were going to tie a bag around a potato, you’d complete the knot. - oh right, everyone knows that, great catch

And since the other bag obviously opened okay - what other bag obviously opened ok? Are you having hot flashes?

1 minute ago, rage-a-holic said:

what other bag obviously opened ok?

The one shown in the picture behind the Igloo pack. Looks like it’s from the same store and still has stuff in it. 

10 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The one shown in the picture behind the Igloo pack. Looks like it’s from the same store and still has stuff in it. 

Those are bags from the checkout register, not produce bags.

image.png.4fee7fb4de6c9f6d2cac00b556b8a175.png

12 minutes ago, rage-a-holic said:

Those are bags from the checkout register, not produce bags.

image.png.4fee7fb4de6c9f6d2cac00b556b8a175.png

They look similar but I can buy that. I still question the single potato purchase (what recipe calls for one potato in a household of at least two people?) and the half-tied knot. 
 

It’s weird. I buy potatoes by the bag and I’m a single guy who often uses just one potato when cooking. When I buy other things like onions, garlic, lemons, or limes, where I’m just buying one or two of each, I won’t bother with a produce bag. 

16 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

Magazines are still a thing?

Oh yeah. I get the New Yorker delivered to my house. Seems like I get one about every 36 hours. They go into little box I have. About every 2 months I dump the box into the trash having never opened a single one. 

8 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

They look similar but I can buy that.

One is clearly a produce bag and the other two are clearly checkout bags. You should visit a grocery store sometime this century.

4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

They look similar but I can buy that. I still question the single potato purchase (what recipe calls for one potato in a household of at least two people?) and the half-tied knot. 
 

It’s weird. I buy potatoes by the bag and I’m a single guy who often uses just one potato when cooking. When I buy other things like onions, garlic, lemons, or limes, where I’m just buying one or two of each, I won’t bother with a produce bag. 

Of course you do things logically...you are not a wife.

Oh yeah. I get the New Yorker delivered to my house. Seems like I get one about every 36 hours. They go into little box I have. About every 2 months I dump the box into the trash having never opened a single one. 

I like the New Yorker. I wouldn’t read it either but I do miss the days when we had time for long reads.

The New Yorker occasionally had some good cartoons.

6 hours ago, rage-a-holic said:

One is clearly a produce bag and the other two are clearly checkout bags. You should visit a grocery store sometime this century.

My produce bags have a lot less print on them. Some have none all. Some are green (purple if buying organic). The store where I usually shop doesn’t even have plastic bags at checkout anymore. When they did, they were blue.

It was a post taken from Reddit so we can’t interrogate Jacksquatch, the alleged husband. I’m having a hard time buying the frugal wife theory.

I will say this, though. I was trying to imagine what might be going on in someone’s head to make them do such a thing. All I could come up with is that it’s the sort of thing someone might do if they were tripping on acid. You’ve got this bag, you’ve got this potato, they’re supposed to go together, you can’t open the bag, so you put them together the best you can. Just dropping the bag in the potato bin and letting an employee take care of it doesn’t cross your mind. There have been times when I’ve wondered if being a woman is like going through life on a permanent acid trip. 

9 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

There have been times when I’ve wondered if being a woman is like going through life on a permanent acid trip. 

Your post was exactly the in-depth analysis my wife would have in a conversation with me (or hopefully, instead, her mother). I’d say you have a pretty good grasp on what it’s like to be a woman. 

16 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

They look similar but I can buy that. I still question the single potato purchase (what recipe calls for one potato in a household of at least two people?) and the half-tied knot. 
 

It’s weird. I buy potatoes by the bag and I’m a single guy who often uses just one potato when cooking. When I buy other things like onions, garlic, lemons, or limes, where I’m just buying one or two of each, I won’t bother with a produce bag. 

A lot of soup recipes call for one potato 

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