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28 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Well, just cool off Ojo. 
This isn’t doing your BP any good.

Arguing in the heat of the moment won’t solve anything.

I'm getting better, but I'm a slow learner.  The Lexapro helps.  The bitch of it is, the less I GAF about shit like this, the more my wife accuses me of "not being present" and "not caring."  *sigh*

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2 minutes ago, eljinca said:

Good text received with no context yesterday:

"They emailed about going back in February"

6 texts later I finally got that her office has determined that they will now require 1 day per week in person work.

Only 6? 

That's how you humble brag.

7 minutes ago, eljinca said:

Good text received with no context yesterday:

"They emailed about going back in February"

6 texts later I finally got that her office has determined that they will now require 1 day per week in person work.

This is my life in a nutshell. Random text/comment. No background. No clue wtf she is talking about. That's my clue to head to the garage and grab a beer.

Plus insistence that she has provided ample context previously.

 

"You know the random comment I made a week ago Thursday when we were driving across town to see my sister.....that's what this is about"

We were at our cabin for Christmas, and I had driven my F150. My wife insisted on going to town with one of my daughters for some after-Christmas shopping.
They get home after dark, and I see her maneuvering back and forth in the driveway. I go outside to help because I was afraid she would hit someone else’s car. By the time I got out there, she - with my daughter as navigator -  only had one tire on the concrete.
It’s not as flat as it appears in this pic, but if she had continued backing up, she would’ve been down in the creek. As it turns out, she had unilaterally decided to drive my daughter to the airport for her early morning flight and didn’t want to back out of the driveway in the dark.
I told her to pull onto flat ground and let me park the truck. Zoom in for tire tracks as well as snow tracks:
270-DBB89-852-C-46-CC-ADE5-2-E44-EC21-B5-D3.jpg

Who the fuck has concrete at a “cabin”
1 hour ago, eljinca said:

Good text received with no context yesterday:

"They emailed about going back in February"

6 texts later I finally got that her office has determined that they will now require 1 day per week in person work.

Wow they really like to live on the edge 

21 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Dude, that should have been parlayed into some super freaky bedroom time with the new lingerie.

Lol right, you do remember the wort "undefeated" Don't you?

On 1/10/2023 at 1:29 PM, luke duke said:


Who the fuck has concrete at a “cabin”

Some people call it a lodge.

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

On 1/7/2023 at 11:49 PM, Sbbruin said:

Is,it common in Texas to heat your house with electricity?  Natural gas furnaces have to heat 98% of houses here.

not 98%.   in 2020, the number was 72% (source https://www.eia.gov/todayinenergy/detail.php?id=52999#:~:text=Homes in California predominantly use,%2C and 73% for cooking ) and heat pumps are growing in popularity every day, and are almost mandatory for new construction under Title 24.  See https://www.energy.ca.gov/sites/default/files/2021-08/CEC_2022_EnergyCodeUpdateSummary_ADA.pdf

On 1/8/2023 at 2:53 PM, tejas60 said:

me: where's your car fob?

her: in my purse.

got damnit.

Let’s just assume, for the rest of our lives, that I don’t at all times know where your fucking purse is. 

1 hour ago, Frank The Tank said:

Let’s just assume, for the rest of our lives, that I don’t at all times know where your fucking purse is. 

50-50 odds it’s in her car

This is a top play in the Wives Playbook For Life.

Last week I take the jeep out for a drive on Monday. Jeep needed gas so I stop and fill up. We hardly drive the jeep unless kids are split practices or I’m just running to the store. To my knowledge jeep hadn’t been taken anywhere except one practice. I get in Sunday afternoon to head to another practice. LOW FUEL. Not 40 miles to E or whatever the dash will say when it’s low. LOW FUEL.

But she thinks you're really thoughtful for filling the tank up, so you have that going for you.

She paraphrased the text after I asked her what she sent.  I didn't see it.  She offered to show it to me, but I was too pissed off at that point and told her I didn't want to see it.  So I don't actually know if she sent the shitty part of the text or not.  Either way, if she sent it or just told me she did, she done wrong.
I agree that she fucked up either way, but in one scenario you just have an issue with the wife. In the other scenario, you have an issue with the wife AND the neighbor.
This is a top play in the Wives Playbook For Life.

Last week I take the jeep out for a drive on Monday. Jeep needed gas so I stop and fill up. We hardly drive the jeep unless kids are split practices or I’m just running to the store. To my knowledge jeep hadn’t been taken anywhere except one practice. I get in Sunday afternoon to head to another practice. LOW FUEL. Not 40 miles to E or whatever the dash will say when it’s low. LOW FUEL.
You never drive it but it's out of gas. Hmm. Where could she be going in a vehicle she doesn't normally drive?
This is a top play in the Wives Playbook For Life.

Last week I take the jeep out for a drive on Monday. Jeep needed gas so I stop and fill up. We hardly drive the jeep unless kids are split practices or I’m just running to the store. To my knowledge jeep hadn’t been taken anywhere except one practice. I get in Sunday afternoon to head to another practice. LOW FUEL. Not 40 miles to E or whatever the dash will say when it’s low. LOW FUEL.

We bought a Tahoe a year ago. The myChevrolet app works wonders for this. Oh would you look at that, 22% or 75 mi remaining. Looks like I get to go to the gas station today
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You never drive it but it's out of gas. Hmm. Where could she be going in a vehicle she doesn't normally drive?

Apparently her car ran out of gas mid week and she used the jeep for running kids around town. Then when Jeep was on E she filled hers up and not mine.

Apparently her car ran out of gas mid week and she used the jeep for running kids around town. Then when Jeep was on E she filled hers up and not mine.

Outstanding
1 hour ago, Fudbelty said:


Apparently her car ran out of gas mid week and she used the jeep for running kids around town. Then when Jeep was on E she filled hers up and not mine.

Sounds like shit my siblings and I would do to my dad when we were home from college. 


We bought a Tahoe a year ago. The myChevrolet app works wonders for this. Oh would you look at that, 22% or 75 mi remaining. Looks like I get to go to the gas station today

50d39cd71994862f085e2a26fc75ddc0.jpg
Update from 30 min ago as she drives by a gas station after dropping daughter off at school

I drove my wife's company car yesterday and it was empty per usual.

I filled it up without telling her.

Today she noticed and acted like she had found $100.  But that is not what this thread is about.

 

If any of you idiots have not gotten a tile or something like it for your wife's keys, all of the wasted time and oxygen spent looking for them is on you.

They keys find the phone and the phone finds the keys.  Now she can lose both and you are still screwed but most of the time you can find one or the other.

4 minutes ago, huge said:

I drove my wife's company car yesterday and it was empty per usual.

I filled it up without telling her.

Today she noticed and acted like she had found $100.  But that is not what this thread is about.

 

If any of you idiots have not gotten a tile or something like it for your wife's keys, all of the wasted time and oxygen spent looking for them is on you.

They keys find the phone and the phone finds the keys.  Now she can lose both and you are still screwed but most of the time you can find one or the other.

I bought my wife one and she lost it.  True story.

6 hours ago, Modessit said:
On 1/10/2023 at 9:32 AM, Ojo Rojo said:
She paraphrased the text after I asked her what she sent.  I didn't see it.  She offered to show it to me, but I was too pissed off at that point and told her I didn't want to see it.  So I don't actually know if she sent the shitty part of the text or not.  Either way, if she sent it or just told me she did, she done wrong.

I agree that she fucked up either way, but in one scenario you just have an issue with the wife. In the other scenario, you have an issue with the wife AND the neighbor.

Yeah, but I'm not trying to get any pussy from the neighbor dad.

6 minutes ago, huge said:

If any of you idiots have not gotten a tile or something like it for your wife's keys, all of the wasted time and oxygen spent looking for them is on you.

Does it take a battery? Because I guarantee that the battery is dead.

7 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Does it take a battery? Because I guarantee that the battery is dead.

You can replace the battery.  That is one of my primary functions in our house.  Battery guy.

2 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


50d39cd71994862f085e2a26fc75ddc0.jpg
Update from 30 min ago as she drives by a gas station after dropping daughter off at school

I left this part of life behind by transitioning to an EV for me and a PHEV with 35 miles of electric range for her.  I just plug hers in to the home charger every night before bed.   

Yeah, but I'm not trying to get any pussy from the neighbor dad.

72e7a1aa0b0762c343d583d5694c29b2.gif
1 hour ago, huge said:

You can replace the battery.  That is one of my primary functions in our house.  Battery guy.

Huh.  Me too.  And roach-killer guy.

3 hours ago, Ojo Rojo said:

Yeah, but I'm not trying to get any pussy from the neighbor dad.

Not with that attitude you're not.

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This morning my wife asked me if a Ziploc sandwich baggie can hold two pieces of bread or just one.

18 minutes ago, SuperSport said:

This morning my wife asked me if a Ziploc sandwich baggie can hold two pieces of bread or just one.

Best Shake My Head GIFs | Gfycat

1 hour ago, SuperSport said:

This morning my wife asked me if a Ziploc sandwich baggie can hold two pieces of bread or just one.

She’s right though. Some of those fuckers get thinner by the year. 
Sandwich bags, not wives. 

4 hours ago, huge said:

most of the time you can find one or the other.


image.gif.a37c656e5f40a7f098a349731a36112f.gif

7 hours ago, SuperSport said:

This morning my wife asked me if a Ziploc sandwich baggie can hold two pieces of bread or just one.

I tell you, some of you guys must be married to the hottest, horniest women on the planet. 

Edited by SHOOTER12


Apparently her car ran out of gas mid week and she used the jeep for running kids around town. Then when Jeep was on E she filled hers up and not mine.

I come home today and the jeep was gone again. So I text her.

“Holy shit. I’m calling the cops!”
“Why what happened?”
“Someone stole the jeep out of the garage!”
“Oh lol. My car needed gas and I didn’t have time”

We get in her car and it’s literally down to 0 miles. They really should give you a 50 mile warning.
2 hours ago, Fudbelty said:


I come home today and the jeep was gone again. So I text her.

“Holy shit. I’m calling the cops!”
“Why what happened?”
“Someone stole the jeep out of the garage!”
“Oh lol. My car needed gas and I didn’t have time”

We get in her car and it’s literally down to 0 miles. They really should give you a 50 mile warning.

Yeah good idea

gas station car GIF by Shell

10 hours ago, Fudbelty said:

We get in her car and it’s literally down to 0 miles. They really should give you a 50 mile warning.

Whatta y'all have, a Model T?

Well fuckers you jinxed me and it finally happened.  Wife was in too much of a hurry this morning and didn’t wait for the garage door to fully raise up before backing out.  She hit the door and knocked it off it’s tracks.

Actually, you jinxed yourself when you got married.

12 hours ago, Fudbelty said:


I come home today and the jeep was gone again. So I text her.

“Holy shit. I’m calling the cops!”
“Why what happened?”
“Someone stole the jeep out of the garage!”
“Oh lol. My car needed gas and I didn’t have time”

We get in her car and it’s literally down to 0 miles. They really should give you a 50 mile warning.

1950s & 60s VW Beetles had a lever switch to the right of the gas pedal.
If the car stalled and the gauge read empty, just flip the lever with your foot and you had one “reserve” gallon in the tank good for 30 more miles.

38 minutes ago, txhorns said:

Well fuckers you jinxed me and it finally happened.  Wife was in too much of a hurry this morning and didn’t wait for the garage door to fully raise up before backing out.  She hit the door and knocked it off it’s tracks.

Did that myself once - with my wife & grandson looking on in amazement/horror. 
 

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

Well fuckers you jinxed me and it finally happened.  Wife was in too much of a hurry this morning and didn’t wait for the garage door to fully raise up before backing out.  She hit the door and knocked it off it’s tracks.

Welcome to the team kid.

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

Well fuckers you jinxed me and it finally happened.  Wife was in too much of a hurry this morning and didn’t wait for the garage door to fully raise up before backing out.  She hit the door and knocked it off it’s tracks.

Has she hit the front wall pulling in too far and blame you for it yet?

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

Well fuckers you jinxed me and it finally happened.  Wife was in too much of a hurry this morning and didn’t wait for the garage door to fully raise up before backing out.  She hit the door and knocked it off it’s tracks.

*its

6 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Has she hit the front wall pulling in too far and blame you for it yet?

Glad mine can't, she'd probably push the garage fridge into the guest bathroom.  

29 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

Has she hit the front wall pulling in too far and blame you for it yet?

Thankfully no.  This is her first issue with a vehicle.  I’m sure mor are to come.

Whatta y'all have, a Model T?

I’m just saying the digital reading for miles to E (most) all vehicles have now. Hers goes from like 35 to 0 and she always likes to take it to there. Also where she left the Jeep. Maybe I’m the weird one who starts getting nervous when the gauge hits 1/4 or less than 100 miles digitally.
50 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Glad mine can't, she'd probably push the garage fridge into the guest bathroom.  

Boy did you ever just jinx yourself....

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