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    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Was minding my business last night and my wife comes and jumps me because she can see the bathroom light in one of our outbuildings is on from the kitchen. I tell her I hadn’t been out there in hours but I believed she’d gone in and used it when we were working outside earlier. She’s still upset about it and says “Well you used it first!” I didn’t say a word, just put my shoes on and went to shut it off.

 

Dude’s fault if he doesn’t know enough to unhook the boat before backing down the ramp.
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30 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:

Was minding my business last night and my wife comes and jumps me because she can see the bathroom light in one of our outbuildings is on from the kitchen. I tell her I hadn’t been out there in hours but I believed she’d gone in and used it when we were working outside earlier. She’s still upset about it and says “Well you used it first!” I didn’t say a word, just put my shoes on and went to shut it off.

For a second there I thought you were bragging 

22 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

For a second there I thought you were bragging 

The "wife" part should have been a tell.

The beach is great but going to the beach is a beating. She packs 90% of her worldly possessions (or rather, I pack them) and she also spends the week before making multiple Costco/Publix/Trader Joe’s runs so we end up hauling a thousand pounds of groceries to the beach I’ve never understood that. They have grocery stores where we are going.

The I have to plan and have a thing at the ready for every possible situation no matter how remote was always a head scratcher. But it is very real.

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We got in this ridiculous argument last night when she asked me what time I wanted to leave and I said ten. She said she wanted to leave at eight. I don’t know why I’m asked for unwanted input.

We haven’t left yet. It’s 10:12.

20 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

She said she wanted to leave at eight

This is just bragging. My wife acts like getting up at 8 is illegal. 

The I have to plan and have a thing at the ready for every possible situation no matter how remote was always a head scratcher. But it is very real.
But when she is at home, she can't be bothered to spend 5 seconds figuring things out. That's mine at least.
3 hours ago, Sandman said:

This is just bragging. My wife acts like getting up at 8 is illegal. 

Wife's presumed username checks out.

7 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

Wife's presumed username checks out.

I would say that she needs extra sleep because she's tired from always pouring out her to-go drinks that she brings home from restaurants but never finishes, but I'm the one who does it. 

4 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

We got in this ridiculous argument last night when she asked me what time I wanted to leave and I said ten. She said she wanted to leave at eight. I don’t know why I’m asked for unwanted input.

We haven’t left yet. It’s 10:12.

You should remind her what time she said she wanted to leave 

This is just bragging. My wife acts like getting up at 8 is illegal. 

Oh same here. In fact she texted us all at 7am to say she was pushing back departure to 9:30 because she didn’t sleep well. We were all already up.

We left at 10:30.

We also might not live to get there because she spotted some teammate moms on the highway (we are going to a baseball tourney) and she’s driving like a bat out of hell to try and beat them to the resort.
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1 hour ago, Buzzrock said:


Oh same here. In fact she texted us all at 7am to say she was pushing back departure to 9:30 because she didn’t sleep well. We were all already up.

We left at 10:30.

We also might not live to get there because she spotted some teammate moms on the highway (we are going to a baseball tourney) and she’s driving like a bat out of hell to try and beat them to the resort.

Wait, what?  You are in the car with your wife and you are not driving?  I am so confused.

Im confused - Meme - MemesHappen

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Work that could have been done between, say, 8 and 10:30 am?

Guess who just made a 3 hour grocery run? She said “can you meet me at the car with a few luggage carts.”

42 minutes ago, Buzzrock said:

Guess who just made a 3 hour grocery run? She said “can you meet me at the car with a few luggage carts.”

What was the damage? 4 figs?

Wife: The kids are out of school, we should go somewhere before summer camps start up.

Me: We spent a week in Hawaii over spring break, do we really need to go somewhere?

Wife: Yes, we can just go to San Diego for the weekend. I booked a hotel, it's $400/night.

Me: We live 90 miles up the freeway, we don't need to spend the night...

 

So we spent $400 to stay in a hotel (not to mention a crappy $120 breakfast buffet), and we stayed in San Diego for less than 20 hours. Not quite as bad as Knoxtnhorn's wife and SIL's boondoggle to NO, but pretty close.

If only my wife spent 10% of her energy decluttering the house instead of booking the next getaway, we'd have a much cleaner house and a bigger bank account.

Wife: The kids are out of school, we should go somewhere before summer camps start up.
Me: We spent a week in Hawaii over spring break, do we really need to go somewhere?
Wife: Yes, we can just go to San Diego for the weekend. I booked a hotel, it's $400/night.
Me: We live 90 miles up the freeway, we don't need to spend the night...
 
So we spent $400 to stay in a hotel (not to mention a crappy $120 breakfast buffet), and we stayed in San Diego for less than 20 hours. Not quite as bad as Knoxtnhorn's wife and SIL's boondoggle to NO, but pretty close.
If only my wife spent 10% of her energy decluttering the house instead of booking the next getaway, we'd have a much cleaner house and a bigger bank account.

But the $6 surcharge on the $120 breakfast buffet bill was enough to send you overboard?
1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


But the $6 surcharge on the $120 breakfast buffet bill was enough to send you overboard?

Sounds like it was one of the straws breaking SH’s back. Kind of like in Falling Down, Michael Douglas’s character finally broke when the quick mart clerk wouldn’t give him change for the pay phone. It wasn’t the refusal to give change that caused his rampage, it was all the crap over losing his marriage, job, feeling trapped by everything, etc.

SH, given your post above and a couple of others, you really need to get some counseling. Optimal if it’s both of you, but even if your wife won’t go, you’re carrying around a lot of large and small slights. You’re a good dad based on a number of your posts over time, but your and your kids’ well being would be well served if you can get to a better place in your marriage. 

What was the damage? 4 figs?

I’m scared to look. All I know is she didn’t get the one item I asked for. “I was in a hurry.”
Wife: The kids are out of school, we should go somewhere before summer camps start up.
Me: We spent a week in Hawaii over spring break, do we really need to go somewhere?
Wife: Yes, we can just go to San Diego for the weekend. I booked a hotel, it's $400/night.
Me: We live 90 miles up the freeway, we don't need to spend the night...
 
So we spent $400 to stay in a hotel (not to mention a crappy $120 breakfast buffet), and we stayed in San Diego for less than 20 hours. Not quite as bad as Knoxtnhorn's wife and SIL's boondoggle to NO, but pretty close.
If only my wife spent 10% of her energy decluttering the house instead of booking the next getaway, we'd have a much cleaner house and a bigger bank account.

I feel this post.
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2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:


I’m scared to look. All I know is she didn’t get the one item I asked for. “I was in a hurry.”
I feel this post.

Update when the trip is over and you have half of those groceries left (that will go bad or won't fit in the vehicle for the trip home) and you've dropped about another tree fiddy at restaurants because she "doesn't feel like cooking "

Update when the trip is over and you have half of those groceries left (that will go bad or won't fit in the vehicle for the trip home) and you've dropped about another tree fiddy at restaurants because she "doesn't feel like cooking "

This man gets it

But the $6 surcharge on the $120 breakfast buffet bill was enough to send you overboard?
184a32cbb1bb6734bef70df709e57295.gif
  • Popular Post
3 hours ago, nnm said:

Sounds like it was one of the straws breaking SH’s back. Kind of like in Falling Down, Michael Douglas’s character finally broke when the quick mart clerk wouldn’t give him change for the pay phone. It wasn’t the refusal to give change that caused his rampage, it was all the crap over losing his marriage, job, feeling trapped by everything, etc.

SH, given your post above and a couple of others, you really need to get some counseling. Optimal if it’s both of you, but even if your wife won’t go, you’re carrying around a lot of large and small slights. You’re a good dad based on a number of your posts over time, but your and your kids’ well being would be well served if you can get to a better place in your marriage. 

Thanks nnm. Thinks aren’t as bad as I make it out to be. It’s just more fun to bitch on an internet message board.

Re counseling, I had about 3-4 years, primarily for my temper, but the last counsellor also had a background in child development, and she was AMAZING. She really turned around my life, and taught me a lot of me skills to deal with my kids - who are actually really really good compared to some of their wild friends.

I guess it’s time for me to take a break from posting my stuff on this thread and just give a few reactions.

 Again thanks for the concern. 

36 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Thanks nnm. Thinks aren’t as bad as I make it out to be. It’s just more fun to bitch on an internet message board.

Re counseling, I had about 3-4 years, primarily for my temper, but the last counsellor also had a background in child development, and she was AMAZING. She really turned around my life, and taught me a lot of me skills to deal with my kids - who are actually really really good compared to some of their wild friends.

I guess it’s time for me to take a break from posting my stuff on this thread and just give a few reactions.

 Again thanks for the concern. 

If you’re all good then by all means please continue to post the funny/stupid shit that your wife does.

1 hour ago, txhorns said:

If you’re all good then by all means please continue to post the funny/stupid shit that your wife does.

Agreed. Do not stop posting. All these people giving you advice are wrong and you should ignore them.

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Okay fine. One more photo before I go on hiatus.

IMG_0596.thumb.jpeg.7a4ef4b5ba82326db13598ec9f85aeb8.jpeg

I don’t recall the last time she transferred eggs from the box to the tray.

It’s probably not a big deal to some of you, but it’s bugged me for the past 16.5 years. 

Throw away the stupid single use case tray that only makes sense for someone bringing in eggs from their backyard chickens anyway.

28 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Okay fine. One more photo before I go on hiatus.

IMG_0596.thumb.jpeg.7a4ef4b5ba82326db13598ec9f85aeb8.jpeg

I don’t recall the last time she transferred eggs from the box to the tray.

It’s probably not a big deal to some of you, but it’s bugged me for the past 16.5 years. 

That fridge is kinda bare. Let me introduce you to @Buzzrock He may have some surplus you can take off his hands.

2 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

That fridge is kinda bare. Let me introduce you to @Buzzrock He may have some surplus you can take off his hands.

Bill Murray Cheers GIF

59 minutes ago, Superhero said:

I don’t recall the last time she transferred eggs from the box to the tray.

It’s probably not a big deal to some of you, but it’s bugged me for the past 16.5 years. 

Dude.  Throw the egg tray in the trash and free your soul.  That's in the Top 3 dumbest things in your kitchen, including your wife.  A net negative value add.

42 minutes ago, Mittens said:

Dude.  Throw the egg tray in the trash and free your soul.  That's in the Top 3 dumbest things in your kitchen, including your wife.  A net negative value add.

I don't disagree and it was my first thought as well.  However, this is the wives stupid shit thread.  Eventually, SH will have a story about a $79 egg tray that his wife picked up at Williams-Sonoma on sale for $59.  Wives' nature abhors a vacuum.  

1 hour ago, SilasCoade said:

Throw away the stupid single use case tray that only makes sense for someone bringing in eggs from their backyard chickens anyway.

I have to second this.  The existence of that egg tray really bothers me (unless someone actually did have backyard chickens).  Why are there slots for seven eggs?  Eggs are sold by the dozen.  Sometimes, I've seen them sold by the half-dozen.  An egg tray with 6 slots might make sense.  Twelve slots would make some sense if it didn't take up more space than the egg container that is under it  I can't see any purpose for the egg tray other than to annoy anal assholes like myself that may be hyper-focused on refrigerator real estate. 

So, of course, wives are out buying it.

Seven kind of makes sense if you buy by the half dozen. That way when you are down to your last egg you can refill it. If it only has six spots, you have to have an egg carton and the container in your fridge unless you wait to buy eggs until you are out. But what makes the most sense is not buying one in the first place.

Seven kind of makes sense if you buy by the half dozen. That way when you are down to your last egg you can refill it. If it only has six spots, you have to have an egg carton and the container in your fridge unless you wait to buy eggs until you are out. But what makes the most sense is not buying one in the first place.

giphy.gif
On 6/10/2023 at 10:45 PM, GoPokes83 said:

Was minding my business last night and my wife comes and jumps me because she can see the bathroom light in one of our outbuildings is on from the kitchen. I tell her I hadn’t been out there in hours but I believed she’d gone in and used it when we were working outside earlier. She’s still upset about it and says “Well you used it first!” I didn’t say a word, just put my shoes on and went to shut it off.

You’re a good man, Charlie Brown.

1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Seven kind of makes sense if you buy by the half dozen. That way when you are down to your last egg you can refill it. If it only has six spots, you have to have an egg carton and the container in your fridge unless you wait to buy eggs until you are out. But what makes the most sense is not buying one in the first place.

matthew broderick professor falken GIF

2 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Seven kind of makes sense if you buy by the half dozen.

About to ask who the fuck buys a half dozen eggs but remembered on what thread I’m posting.

Several months ago I saw a woman at Costco loading one of these 5 dozen egg packs into her SUV, dropping it of course. 
Looked like every egg was Humpty-Dumtied.

Guess her family had a bigass omelette- hopefully after removing the cracked  shells.

 

23CD9082-BD81-4D05-A7FA-3C70B8DA1DD9.jpeg

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4 hours ago, PhillyD said:

I have to second this.  The existence of that egg tray really bothers me (unless someone actually did have backyard chickens).  Why are there slots for seven eggs?  Eggs are sold by the dozen.  Sometimes, I've seen them sold by the half-dozen.  An egg tray with 6 slots might make sense.  Twelve slots would make some sense if it didn't take up more space than the egg container that is under it  I can't see any purpose for the egg tray other than to annoy anal assholes like myself that may be hyper-focused on refrigerator real estate. 

So, of course, wives are out buying it.

Always Sunny Reaction GIF

 

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Home Office Jollies

We have workers finishing the basement and they’re making a racket right under my office, so I take my laptop to the kitchen, move some shit off the kitchen island, and continue work.

She      What are you doing?
Me       Gonna work in the kitchen to get away from the noise
She      You wanna play Scrabble? 
Me       Can’t – I need to get this stuff out.
She      (follows me into the kitchen, reads a text out loud from a friend I’ve met once and comments on it to me)
She      (finished with the commentary, watches mom comedy videos on her phone.)
Me       I’m going to go out on the deck, where it’s quieter and I can get my work done. 
She      (follows me out to the deck, talks about flooring for the basement, comes to the same conclusion we did 2 weeks ago, and asks me to call the            contractor  to tell him that we  haven’t changed our mind)
She      I’m going to the farmers market after lunch.  Want to come with me?
Me       I need to work
She      You seem to be on edge, what’s wrong?  

 

Edited by Budkudzu

51 minutes ago, Budkudzu said:

Home Office Jollies

We have workers finishing the basement and they’re making a racket right under my office, so I take my laptop to the kitchen, move some shit off the kitchen island, and continue work.

She      What are you doing?
Me       Gonna work in the kitchen to get away from the noise
She      You wanna play Scrabble? 
Me       Can’t – I need to get this stuff out.
She      (follows me into the kitchen, reads a text out loud from a friend I’ve met once and comments on it to me)
She      (finished with the commentary, watches mom comedy videos on her phone.)
Me       I’m going to go out on the deck, where it’s quieter and I can get my work done. 
She      (follows me out to the deck, talks about flooring for the basement, comes to the same conclusion we did 2 weeks ago, and asks me to call the            contractor  to tell him that we  haven’t changed our mind)
She      I’m going to the farmers market after lunch.  Want to come with me?
Me       I need to work
She      You seem to be on edge, what’s wrong?  

 

You need to get your wife a job, or an out of the house volunteering opportunity 

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