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Whenever we go anywhere in my wife's SUV, we have drama over locking the doors when we get out.
It's a newer vehicle, so no key - just the proximity keyfob.  Which she keeps in her purse at all times.  Even when I'm driving.  So, I drive.  We get to our destination and get out - I get out on the driver's side, she gets out on the passenger side (and of course, I have to wait while she gets out, because for some reason, she has to get all her stuff together because she was totally caught off guard by the fact that we were actually heading to a destination).  I cannot lock the doors, because I don't have the fob.  I can't press the button (obviously).  But you can also just press the little button on the door handle to lock the doors....if you have the fob on you, right next to the door.  Which I do not.  So, we get out, and I ask her to lock the doors, and she gets exasperated with me EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Often "you can just press the button on the door, you know."  No, I can't.  Because you got out and immediately walked away from the car.
But if I ask her to give me her keys before we leave the house, she gets annoyed because she has to dig them out of her purse (which has 479 "secret compartment pockets," and the key is in the 234th one).
So, bottom line, whenever I drive her car anywhere, she's going to be annoyed with me not being able to lock the door even though she is solely responsible for the fact that I am unable to lock the door.
Just download the app.
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20 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

Call me old-fashioned, but I see to it that the GF rarely, if ever, has to pump gas.  If we are driving together in her car, I will always top it off if it's below 1/2.  If I haven't driven it in a few days, I check the level and if it's south of 1/2, I run it to the station.   It's a little thing that I know she appreciates, because I've heard her tell her sister that she cannot remember the last time she got gas on her own.

I don't think my mother ever filled up her own car. My dad would go out whenever it got low and gas it up. When I was younger, he'd ask me if I wanted to go, and it was some nice father/son bonding. 

13 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I don't think my mother ever filled up her own car. My dad would go out whenever it got low and gas it up. When I was younger, he'd ask me if I wanted to go, and it was some nice father/son bonding. 

How many Budweisers and Viceroys did he pound up and back while he was letting you in on the secrets of manhood?

31 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I don't think my mother ever filled up her own car. My dad would go out whenever it got low and gas it up. When I was younger, he'd ask me if I wanted to go, and it was some nice father/son bonding. 

My Grandmother (Dad's mom) never drove a day in her life.  Grandad would drop her at the grocery store to buy groceries and go shoot pool until she called whichever Elks' Lodge or VFW he was at to come get her.    

5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Whenever we go anywhere in my wife's SUV, we have drama over locking the doors when we get out.It's a newer vehicle, so no key - just the proximity keyfob.  Which she keeps in her purse at all times. 

My car has proximity function with a slim cc-sized card or a phone app via bluetooth. So zero nuisance to carry one. 

I offer both options to wife so i’ll never be bothered with her asking me to unlock the car for her.  She refuses (for no discernably logical reason). 

So basically i’ve been waiting for an I-Told-You-So moment, like she’s getting drenched under a thunderstorm…or being chased by angry seagulls…and needing to shelter in the car.  And I can finally say “ah ha you shouldve installed the phone app”

Been waiting for 4 years. 

You cant wait out irrationality.

 

 

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27 minutes ago, huge said:

You cant wait out irrationality.

 

 

Women can remain irrational for longer than you can remain solvent.

-Keynes

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4 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Yep. That is on brisket. When I drive our Tahoe that has the keyless BS, I just use the spare and avoid the arguments. Don’t even know where the real key is at. Somewhere buried in her purse

Whenever I drive my wife's car, I use my own key. I will usually get out of the car first and then stand there and wait for her.  Because she's still in the car with her key in her purse, the car will do the three quick honks to remind the driver that his key was left in the car. Mrs CL will then get out of the car and complain at me for honking at her to make her hurry up. Every time. 

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Tonight we went to an event at my son's high school. There were a lot of kids in the program with African sounding names.

Mrs CL: Wow. Where did all of those African kids come from?

Me: I have a pretty good guess....

Mrs CL: Seriously, where?

5 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

My Grandmother (Dad's mom) never drove a day in her life.  Grandad would drop her at the grocery store to buy groceries and go shoot pool until she called whichever Elks' Lodge or VFW he was at to come get her.    

How did he do this before cell phones?

1 minute ago, ABSR said:

How did he do this before cell phones?

Grandma would use the phone at the grocery store and call the Elks Lodge, or the VFW, or the Italian Club, or the Polish club or wherever he was at.  

20 minutes ago, ABSR said:

How did he do this before cell phones?

Good question. Because there were no phones before cell phones. 

How did he do this before cell phones?

Carrier pigeon.
11 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

I think I'm Brisketexan.  I may have some fight club sort of thing going on. 

I thought he was describing my wife until his story veered.  My wife's problem is that when we come back to the car, she NEVER remembers that she has the key to unlock it.  Rather, she'll just stand there vacantly by the car until she looks over at me, standing there annoyed with the Tommy Lee Jones face.

Whenever we go anywhere in my wife's SUV, we have drama over locking the doors when we get out.
It's a newer vehicle, so no key - just the proximity keyfob.  Which she keeps in her purse at all times.  Even when I'm driving.  So, I drive.  We get to our destination and get out - I get out on the driver's side, she gets out on the passenger side (and of course, I have to wait while she gets out, because for some reason, she has to get all her stuff together because she was totally caught off guard by the fact that we were actually heading to a destination).  I cannot lock the doors, because I don't have the fob.  I can't press the button (obviously).  But you can also just press the little button on the door handle to lock the doors....if you have the fob on you, right next to the door.  Which I do not.  So, we get out, and I ask her to lock the doors, and she gets exasperated with me EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Often "you can just press the button on the door, you know."  No, I can't.  Because you got out and immediately walked away from the car.
But if I ask her to give me her keys before we leave the house, she gets annoyed because she has to dig them out of her purse (which has 479 "secret compartment pockets," and the key is in the 234th one).
So, bottom line, whenever I drive her car anywhere, she's going to be annoyed with me not being able to lock the door even though she is solely responsible for the fact that I am unable to lock the door.

At least if this was my wife’s SUV, you don’t understand how key fobs work at all. You can still lock the car by pushing the door handle even if the key is in her purse on the other side of the vehicle. The fob doesn’t have to be beside the door handle you use to lock the vehicle.
8 hours ago, Sandman said:

I don't think my mother ever filled up her own car. My dad would go out whenever it got low and gas it up. When I was younger, he'd ask me if I wanted to go, and it was some nice father/son bonding. 

Neither my mother or grandmother EVER put gas in a vehicle. It was my father's thing to do, women just do that type of stuff in their generation. When my father passed, it fell to me or my BIL's. Mom didn't even know how to put gas in her car. Strange, but I kind of miss those "old" days.

50 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Neither my mother or grandmother EVER put gas in a vehicle. It was my father's thing to do, women just do that type of stuff in their generation. When my father passed, it fell to me or my BIL's. Mom didn't even know how to put gas in her car. Strange, but I kind of miss those "old" days.

Whenever my daughter would come home from UT for a visit I would always wash her car. When she got ready to leave I would follow her to the local gas station and fill her gas tank up for her. Just a little more precious daughter and dad time.

12 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Tonight we went to an event at my son's high school. There were a lot of kids in the program with African sounding names.

Mrs CL: Wow. Where did all of those African kids come from?

Me: I have a pretty good guess....

Mrs CL: Seriously, where?

“Sharpstown?”

8 hours ago, ERhine said:


At least if this was my wife’s SUV, you don’t understand how key fobs work at all. You can still lock the car by pushing the door handle even if the key is in her purse on the other side of the vehicle. The fob doesn’t have to be beside the door handle you use to lock the vehicle.

Oh, I get it.  THAT approach is hindered by the standard process of "we get where we're going, park the car, I get out....and then my wife lingers inside the car for another 10 fucking minutes putting her shoes back on, rearranging her purse, returning a text to her friend, applying some lip balm, rearranging the change in the cupholder, etc."  So, I can't lock the door like that...because she's still in the car.  I've gotten out of the car, closed the door, and have slowly started the walk to our destination (store, soccer match, wherever).  If I had a fob, I could lock the door from a distance, or at least from outside.

29 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Oh, I get it.  THAT approach is hindered by the standard process of "we get where we're going, park the car, I get out....and then my wife lingers inside the car for another 10 fucking minutes putting her shoes back on, rearranging her purse, returning a text to her friend, applying some lip balm, rearranging the change in the cupholder, etc."  So, I can't lock the door like that...because she's still in the car.  I've gotten out of the car, closed the door, and have slowly started the walk to our destination (store, soccer match, wherever).  If I had a fob, I could lock the door from a distance, or at least from outside.

Our wife sure is a handful.

1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

So, I can't lock the door like that...because she's still in the car. 

You can, and should.  

15 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Whenever I drive my wife's car, I use my own key. I will usually get out of the car first and then stand there and wait for her.  Because she's still in the car with her key in her purse, the car will do the three quick honks to remind the driver that his key was left in the car. Mrs CL will then get out of the car and complain at me for honking at her to make her hurry up. Every time. 

Shark Tank Writing GIF

10 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

Whenever my daughter would come home from UT for a visit I would always wash her car. When she got ready to leave I would follow her to the local gas station and fill her gas tank up for her. Just a little more precious daughter and dad time.

When my siblings and I were in high school our family had three or four old shitty pickups on our place. We’d drive one until it was almost out of gas, and then switch it out for a different one. My poor dad. 

17 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Tonight we went to an event at my son's high school. There were a lot of kids in the program with African sounding names.

Mrs CL: Wow. Where did all of those African kids come from?

Me: I have a pretty good guess....

Mrs CL: Seriously, where?

Baltimore

On 9/24/2023 at 7:28 PM, Gil Bang said:

Call me old-fashioned, but I see to it that the GF rarely, if ever, has to pump gas.  If we are driving together in her car, I will always top it off if it's below 1/2.  If I haven't driven it in a few days, I check the level and if it's south of 1/2, I run it to the station.   It's a little thing that I know she appreciates, because I've heard her tell her sister that she cannot remember the last time she got gas on her own.

The last time Mrs. Brat filled her car with gas was 53 years ago when she drove her mom to visit family in Dallas.

15 hours ago, ABSR said:

How did he do this before cell phones?

 

207EBE46-A03F-4426-B799-657992628524.jpeg

Oh, I get it.  THAT approach is hindered by the standard process of "we get where we're going, park the car, I get out....and then my wife lingers inside the car for another 10 fucking minutes putting her shoes back on, rearranging her purse, returning a text to her friend, applying some lip balm, rearranging the change in the cupholder, etc."  So, I can't lock the door like that...because she's still in the car.  I've gotten out of the car, closed the door, and have slowly started the walk to our destination (store, soccer match, wherever).  If I had a fob, I could lock the door from a distance, or at least from outside.

Uh, just get out and start walking?
23 hours ago, ABSR said:

How did he do this before cell phones?

My little town has 1200 people, and our grocery store was a social spot. I can remember using their phone to call my grandmother to come pick us up, and hearing various people paged over the p.a.  “Mr. Smith, your wife is on the phone for you.”  

3 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

My little town has 1200 people, and our grocery store was a social spot. I can remember using their phone to call my grandmother to come pick us up, and hearing various people paged over the p.a.  “Mr. Smith, your wife is on the phone for you.”  

Calling your grandmother to pick you up? How the hell did you get there? Walk mother fucker and leave Grammy alone, she's earned it you spoiled little snot. 

5 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Calling your grandmother to pick you up? How the hell did you get there? Walk mother fucker and leave Grammy alone, she's earned it you spoiled little snot. 

If you think I’m walking my fat ass uphill to her house in the rain, you’ve overestimated me. 

9 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Calling your grandmother to pick you up? How the hell did you get there? Walk mother fucker and leave Grammy alone, she's earned it you spoiled little snot. 

She was only 34 years old

2 hours ago, BHMCruiser said:

She was only 34 years old

...and drinkin in a honkey tonk?? 

On 9/25/2023 at 10:21 PM, Trey3216 said:

Grandma would use the phone at the grocery store and call the Elks Lodge, or the VFW, or the Italian Club, or the Polish club or wherever he was at.  

"Sarah, get me the Esquire Club up in Mount Pilot."

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My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

27 minutes ago, dbagg said:

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

Only one skeleton? It'll be lonely, need at least one more 

2 hours ago, dbagg said:

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

Here’s your chance to order a 5ft tall skeleton and have it give the big man a BJ.   Probably be the next time you get one anyway 

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

This almost reads like a scene from Funny Farm.
8 hours ago, dbagg said:

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

I hope you also have space in the garage for a 10 ft tall turkey and Santa Claus.

On 9/26/2023 at 12:57 PM, BHMCruiser said:

Baltimore

The promise land?

On 9/25/2023 at 11:56 AM, Brisketexan said:

Extra fob is like $250.  F that.  For $250, she can glare at me all she wants.  I'm cheap.

So she lost the 2nd fob that came w the vehicle?

11 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

Only one skeleton? It'll be lonely, need at least one more 

Another one to bone? 

"I don't want it there" 

Pick up put down and leave in the exact same spot

"Is that good baby" 

"Yea much better"

Wtf can't win for losing

 

9 minutes ago, Coach pop a bitch said:

"I don't want it there" 

Pick up put down and leave in the exact same spot

"Is that good baby" 

"Yea much better"

Wtf can't win for losing

 

Season 3 Nbc GIF by The Office

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

Keep us updated on what day it somehow gets stolen!
21 hours ago, dbagg said:

My wife just ordered a 10 ft tall plastic skeleton Halloween yard decoration that cost a mere $300.  We live in the country and have never had a trick or treater.  

If it is the one my wife tried to buy they also weigh like 80lbs.  

“Tried” to buy and wife don’t go together.

6 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

“Tried” to buy and wife don’t go together.

When I told her I couldn't get it in the attic she relented.  It was a red letter day in the huge household.

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