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2 minutes ago, huge said:

When I told her I couldn't get it in the attic she relented.  It was a red letter day in the huge household.

You self-centered son of a bitch. This is about us, too. 

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9 hours ago, Coach pop a bitch said:

"I don't want it there" 

Pick up put down and leave in the exact same spot

"Is that good baby" 

"Yea much better"

Wtf can't win for losing

 

man does this ring a bell.  

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Seems like the law of averages would even it out, but no. Every. Fucking. Pothole. Dead solid perfect. I don't even say anything anymore. Why dissuade a person at the top of their game?  

My wife bought one of those skeletons. It's a pain in the ass to assemble. Have fun. 

23 minutes ago, Not that Bob said:

Seems like the law of averages would even it out, but no. Every. Fucking. Pothole. Dead solid perfect. I don't even say anything anymore. Why dissuade a person at the top of their game?  

Your mechanic lives a nice life, huh?

2 hours ago, huge said:

When I told her I couldn't get it in the attic she relented.  It was a red letter day in the huge household.

Wife thought process-time for a bigger house with a bigger attic

Edited by Dennis Taylor

2 hours ago, BHMCruiser said:

My wife bought one of those skeletons. It's a pain in the ass to assemble. Have fun. 

Here. This'll help:

 

On 9/27/2023 at 1:58 PM, Trey3216 said:

...and drinkin in a honkey tonk?? 

just kickin hippies asses and rasing hell.

Every time we drive somewhere separate my wife parks on the opposite side of the parking lot for some stupid reason. I’m typically always the first one there and will park where there are spaces together, she never parks there.

She wanted help loading a new Christmas tree today, so she followed me over there on my way back to work. I pull in, park near the store exit with spaces all around for easy out like a normal person, she goes down past the entrance to the far side of the lot and parks. She did offer me a ride back to my vehicle, I just walked off.

Edited by Brew

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What is it with wives and Christmas Trees in September?!  I've already been asked multiple times if we can put ours up now.  I'm really leaning towards a 10' skeleton just to push back the tree questions.

My BIL had/has health issues, so he's always looking for things to improve his health, from osteopathy, acupuncture, specialized chiropractic care... the list is long and distinguished. My wife listens and usually wants to try what he's doing, which often means $$$ wasted.

His most recent discovery is working out on special machines that are tailored EXACTLY for the person. Every workout requires a technician there, doing body scans, adjusting the gear settings. Gym membership is only $350/month. Of course my wife wants to try it as well.

Me: "Why do you always want to try what your brother is doing?"

Her:

Nuclear Explosion GIF - Nuclear Explosion Bomb - Discover ...

 

I walked right into that one, especially since I know she's hypersensitive about me talking about her and her family. So imagine her reaction if she ever reads this. Haha.

If I die, please clear my browsing history and the contents of nightstand bottom drawer.

14 minutes ago, Superhero said:

If I die, please clear my browsing history and the contents of nightstand bottom drawer.

It will be too late then, sounds like that will be the cause of your death.


If I die, please clear…..the contents of nightstand bottom drawer.


She already knows what’s in there. And so do your kids.
19 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

What is it with wives and Christmas Trees in September?!  I've already been asked multiple times if we can put ours up now.  I'm really leaning towards a 10' skeleton just to push back the tree questions.

26871465-f04d-4665-82d2-101801dac2d6_tex

What is it with wives and Christmas Trees in September?!  I've already been asked multiple times if we can put ours up now.  I'm really leaning towards a 10' skeleton just to push back the tree questions.

1f7198d2972e8f910e28eb10b6ab5d64.jpg



ITS COMING!!!!

Too bad they don’t sell one of these Santas at Home Depot.

image.jpeg.4e631433685661e34a03fffd069bbeeb.jpeg
 


 

On a slight tangent. When did Mariah Carey become… bigger? 

 

Had a bit of a moment this morning.  I was making olive relish for muffulettas .  I got lectured on how to wash dishes and realized you know what, the moment you criticize something I’m doing,  it’s yours.  Don’t like it?  Do it yourself.  I’m still washing dishes but I feel better about it.  

14 hours ago, Superhero said:

If I die, please clear my browsing history and the contents of nightstand bottom drawer.

image.png.1c71b9ea78dd706f915feaead0e24ac9.png

7 minutes ago, shadow_operative2.0 said:

Don’t give that fucking cunt a muffuletta later then, see how she likes them olives. 

spacer.pnglike I said, I’m still washing the damned dishes, but I feel good.  

It’s fall/thanksgiving decorations season. 

We went to the storage unit today to get the fall/Thanksgiving decorations.

When we went to the unit today, oddly, all the fall/tgvng stuff wasn’t all in one place. 2/3 of the unit had to be emptied to get them all, including 4/5 of the Xmas stuff. Kids and sons-in-law weren’t here today, so it’s all on my back. 

Mrs. NNM has been present for the holiday decoration shuffle every season since and including last year’s Christmas decoration takedown/storage.

We had all the kids and sons-in-law here for new year’s, so they all helped us take down Christmas last year and we all went together (including Mrs. NNM) to stack them in the storage unit. She supervised that operation. 

Today, when we discovered that the fall/tgvng stuff was a bit dispersed, Mrs. NNM got frustrated and said at least three times “I have a system.”  

When I proceeded to methodically (with a bit of a surly attitude) empty the unit to a degree that all the fall/tgvng stuff could be found, she said “why are you being passive aggressive?”  

I was not gruntled. 

Edited by nnm

1 minute ago, nnm said:

It’s fall/thanksgiving decorations season. 

We went to the storage unit today to get the fall/Thanksgiving decorations.

When we went to the unit today, oddly, all the fall/tong stuff wasn’t all in one place. 2/3 of the unit had to be emptied to get them all, including 4/5 of the Xmas stuff. Kids and sons-in-law weren’t here today, so it’s all on my back. 

Mrs. NNM has been present for the holiday decoration shuffle every season since and including last year’s Christmas decoration takedown/storage.

We had all the kids and sons-in-law here for new year’s, so they all helped us take down Christmas last year and we all went together (including Mrs. NNM) to stack them in the storage unit. She supervised that operation. 

Today, when we discovered that the fall/tgvng stuff was a bit dispersed, Mrs. NNM got frustrated and said at least three times “I have a system.”  

When I proceeded to methodically (with a bit of a surly attitude) empty the unit to a degree that all the fall/tgvng stuff could be found, she said “why are you being passive aggressive?”  
 

I was not gruntled. 

You keep decorations in a fucking storage unit?  I’m apparently doing Amurica wrong.  

25 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Had a bit of a moment this morning.  I was making olive relish for muffulettas .  I got lectured on how to wash dishes and realized you know what, the moment you criticize something I’m doing,  it’s yours.  Don’t like it?  Do it yourself.  I’m still washing dishes but I feel better about it.  

I figured out the best way to get out of "helping" around the house is do a crappy job of whatever requested. She gets mad and says "If you can't do it right, I'll do it myself". 

5 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

You keep decorations in a fucking storage unit?  I’m apparently doing Amurica wrong.  

Yes, because I haven’t yet built the outbuilding.  We moved out here 2 years ago. We’ve had to do massive renovations to the house and I haven’t gotten around to building my storage outbuilding. It needs to be big enough for the riding mower and side-by-side, plus at least 4 rows of floor-to-ceiling shelving for the holiday stuff. And be weathertight (but I’m not putting a/c in there. Yet.)

Edited by nnm

4 minutes ago, nnm said:

Yes, because I haven’t yet built the outbuilding.  We moved out here 2 years ago. We’ve had to do massive renovations to the house and I haven’t gotten around to building my storage outbuilding. It needs to be big enough for the riding mower and side-by-side, plus at least 4 rows of floor-to-ceiling shelving for the holiday stuff. And be weathertight (but I’m not putting a/c in there. Yet.)

You need a separate bay for the fake tits, then you’re all set.  

16 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

I figured out the best way to get out of "helping" around the house is do a crappy job of whatever requested. She gets mad and says "If you can't do it right, I'll do it myself". 

It’s the Calvin and Hobbes strategy 

58 minutes ago, nnm said:

Yes, because I haven’t yet built the outbuilding.  We moved out here 2 years ago. We’ve had to do massive renovations to the house and I haven’t gotten around to building my storage outbuilding. It needs to be big enough for the riding mower and side-by-side, plus at least 4 rows of floor-to-ceiling shelving for the holiday stuff. And be weathertight (but I’m not putting a/c in there. Yet.)

I still can’t get over this.  There are kids coming over the border because their parents can’t afford to buy them tortillas, and we are putting decorations in storage units.  Happy fucking Hanukkah indeed.  

2 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Had a bit of a moment this morning.  I was making olive relish for muffulettas .  I got lectured on how to wash dishes and realized you know what, the moment you criticize something I’m doing,  it’s yours.  Don’t like it?  Do it yourself.  I’m still washing dishes but I feel better about it now I'm also not having sex.  

 

8 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I still can’t get over this.  There are kids coming over the border because their parents can’t afford to buy them tortillas, and we are putting decorations in storage units.  Happy fucking Hanukkah indeed.  

Both my wife and I work for a nonprofit providing free lifesaving and life changing health care to people in Africa. Tangibly caring for others and having holiday decorations in a storage unit are not mutually exclusive. 

Edited by nnm

34 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I still can’t get over this.  There are kids coming over the border because their parents can’t afford to buy them tortillas, and we are putting decorations in storage units.  Happy fucking Hanukkah indeed.  

Something that’s very frustrating to me is when people who can’t afford to have children…have children. 

6 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Something that’s very frustrating to me is when people who can’t afford to have children…have children. 

People fuck, news at 11….

Edited by Judge Roybeanbag

11 minutes ago, nnm said:

Both my wife and I work for a nonprofit providing free lifesaving land life changing health care to people in Africa. Tangibly caring for others and having holiday decorations in a storage unit are not mutually exclusive. 

Why can’t you work at providing healthcare and life changing shit here at home?  Fuck Africa.  Do I look like Sally fucking Struthers and have Sarah McClaughlin shooting out of my dick?  Sorry, I’ll get back to washing dishes.  

I’m sorry that you don’t have health insurance.  That stinks. I hope you can land a situation soon that will help. No sarcasm. 

Still don’t have healthcare.  
Move to Africa.
22 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

You keep decorations in a fucking storage unit?  I’m apparently doing Amurica wrong.  

That was my immediate take as well.  How much money do people pay each month to keep shit that they don't use enough to keep in the house?

On 9/30/2023 at 8:37 AM, Beau Vine said:

image.png.1c71b9ea78dd706f915feaead0e24ac9.png

Walked in on Larry watching "Motel Dick" starring Gil Bang.

On 9/30/2023 at 1:38 PM, Kennythetiger said:

Something that’s very frustrating to me is when people who can’t afford to have children…have children. 

If everyone waited until they thought they could afford kids to have kids, there would be very few kids.

5 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

That was my immediate take as well.  How much money do people pay each month to keep shit that they don't use enough to keep in the house?

Welcome to the wives thread, first time visit? On a serious note, there is a reason storage units are going for astronomical multiples right now. People have too much shit combined with an annuitized billing methodology means 14x multiples.

Well if they are anything like apartments (and they are) they are worth about two thirds to half of what they were worth 18 months ago.

On 9/28/2023 at 8:09 PM, Grade of D as in David said:

I hope you also have space in the garage for a 10 ft tall turkey and Santa Claus.

Hell yeah, don't want the skeleton to get lonely out there.

On 9/29/2023 at 10:15 AM, BHMCruiser said:

My wife bought one of those skeletons. It's a pain in the ass to assemble. Have fun. 

There's an easier way....of course you would have to do some digging.

On 9/29/2023 at 2:14 PM, PvilleStang said:

What is it with wives and Christmas Trees in September?!  I've already been asked multiple times if we can put ours up now.  I'm really leaning towards a 10' skeleton just to push back the tree questions.

Shit, went to Lowes 3 days ago and it's Christmas stuff wall to wall. Screw that shit. 

8 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

There's an easier way....of course you would have to do some digging.

Those are tough to assemble too.

Yesterday wife went to the grocery store.  When I heard the garage door open I went out to help carry stuff in the house.  We had briefly discussed dinner plans earlier in the day.

Me:  So, do you want me to grill that chicken for dinner?

Her:  Oh! I put it in the freezer earlier!

Me:  Don't worry.  I took it out. (Because we had discussed cooking it.)

Her:  Well, I bought these southwest salads at the grocery store...

Me:  Just yes or no, please.  Do you want me to grill the chicken?

Her:  Tone.

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

Why not grill the chicken and have it with the salad?  

We don't talk about the nail.

On 9/30/2023 at 10:50 AM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

like I said, I’m still washing the damned dishes, but I feel good.  

you had to re-wash them the correct way, didn't you?

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