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3 hours ago, Frank Drebin said:

Pretty shocking how shitty the grocery stores are in California -- even the wealthy areas.

Yeah but HOOCH

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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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On 3/26/2025 at 6:15 PM, ztejas said:

Correct. And all of them are East of this line. 

Screenshot_20250326_175916_Maps2.thumb.jpg.dccbb8dd68958c6addd9d837dc7257c6.jpg

We have a huge Kroger's right across the street from our big HEB, we are about 25 miles west of that line. I don't know how many times Mrs. CHIEF has told a store associate, "you no longer carry, whatever item ?" ,  "don't make me go across the street to The Devil's store to have to get it."

CHIEF

I just had a flashback. Would y’all find it weird for a woman have a C-section and then a tummy tuck while still under anesthesia? The way I remember it she was trying to swing a twofer with the hospital and anesthesiologist. It was 25 years ago, but at the time I could buy the logic.

12 hours ago, BearSchlong said:

I just had a flashback. Would y’all find it weird for a woman have a C-section and then a tummy tuck while still under anesthesia? The way I remember it she was trying to swing a twofer with the hospital and anesthesiologist. It was 25 years ago, but at the time I could buy the logic.

Buddy's wife did a C-Section, then had her abdominal hernia repaired (essentially, from what he told me, they laced her abs back together like a corset while she was under) along with getting her tubes tied.  

Edited by PvilleStang

Wife got a new debit card because hers expired at the end of March. She texted me yesterday because she stopped to get gas and - of course - forgot to activate the card. I told her to use the backup credit card we usually keep only for emergencies.

I was home, and told her to go ahead and activate it while she was pumping gas. She told me she couldn't remember her password and she got locked out of the website after failing too many times, so now she has to call Support. I told her to go ahead and call right then and get it activated, but she didn't want to call right then. So I sent this message:

"Call when you get home."

About 30 minutes later my phone rang.

Her: "I'm home."







Not mine, but someone else's wife or girlfriend.

Merging from 1 freeway to another, everyone is trying to "zipper" in and it's usually fairly smooth. Trying to zipper in today with my turn signal on, and the chick behind me speeds up to try to block me. I have a bigger car so she backed off and honked at me. This happens at least once a month. Bitch.

My wife is so incredibly shitty at trivia that it's like she had a brain injury.  We were playing 80s trivia (which should be right up her alley, graduated HS in '85) at the bar the other night and she didn't know the name of the Cheers theme song.  And then, "Who was Mr. Rourke's sidekick on Fantasy Island?"

"I know this!  Toto!  The plane, the plane!"

Ugh Frustrated GIF by Equipe de France de Football

1 minute ago, Beau Vine said:

at the bar the other night and she didn't know the name of the Cheers theme song.

Is it just called "where everybody knows your name?"

I've never seen an episode and I know that. Granted I'm very good at trivia.

6 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Is it just called "where everybody knows your name?"

I've never seen an episode and I know that. Granted I'm very good at trivia.

Yes, I even started singing it for her.  

Someday science will discover why it takes women 10x longer to pack than men

1 hour ago, Buzzrock said:

Someday science will discover why it takes women 10x longer to pack than men

Did I post this from an alt account and forget?

Wife is going on a cruise next week. She heads to the port later today. She started packing on Monday.

Recently bought a new Le Crueset pan and tried it out last night… ruined. She left tongs with plastic at end on it while on the stove and now can’t get the melted plastic off the enamel. 

3 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Someday science will discover why it takes women 10x longer to pack than men

It has to do with the same reasons men can get dressed and headed out the door in a few minutes, while women need at least 45 minutes, even if it's just for a trip through the pharmacy drive-thru.

Basically, it's about the concept of "outfits". A man is almost never concerned with specific colors, any combination is perfectly good as long as (1) it's not soaking wet, (2) it has no (overly) large holes, and (3) it doesn't smell (particularly) bad.

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Recently bought a new Le Crueset pan and tried it out last night… ruined. She left tongs with plastic at end on it while on the stove and now can’t get the melted plastic off the enamel. 

Damn.  Google it, though.  There are plenty of potential ways to get the plastic off. 

We have. One suggestion was to reheat pan and hope it loosens the plastic enough to remove it, didn’t say to use either stovetop or oven. I tried oven and it didn’t help. Looking a new one will be on the horizon. 

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Update: crisis averted, she tried the stovetop method boiling some water and pan came out clean. Of course now she’s telling me she saved a few hundreds bucks by not having buy a new pan and can spend that money on something else. 

9 hours ago, gofuckyourself said:

Did I post this from an alt account and forget?

Wife is going on a cruise next week. She heads to the port later today. She started packing on Monday.

We got off a cruise this morning. The boy and I were up and packed in ten minutes. The wife took almost an hour. 
 

And mine would never pack early. She can know about a trip for six months and she starts packing at 1am the day of departure. Every time. 

5 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

We got off a cruise this morning. The boy and I were up and packed in ten minutes. The wife took almost an hour. 
 

And mine would never pack early. She can know about a trip for six months and she starts packing at 1am the day of departure. Every time. 

Packing to go home should never take more than 15 minutes. It's a simple process: Does it belong to you? Then pack it!

3 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Packing to go home should never take more than 15 minutes. It's a simple process: Does it belong to you? Then pack it!

an hour to pack up for home and I bet a shiny nickel she forgot something

On 4/11/2025 at 12:45 PM, Underdog said:

Update: crisis averted, she tried the stovetop method boiling some water and pan came out clean. Of course now she’s telling me she saved a few hundreds bucks by not having buy a new pan and can spend that money on something else. 

Can’t cook and can’t math. She sounds hot

On 4/4/2025 at 5:08 PM, Beau Vine said:

My wife is so incredibly shitty at trivia that it's like she had a brain injury.  We were playing 80s trivia (which should be right up her alley, graduated HS in '85) at the bar the other night and she didn't know the name of the Cheers theme song.  And then, "Who was Mr. Rourke's sidekick on Fantasy Island?"

"I know this!  Toto!  The plane, the plane!"

Ugh Frustrated GIF by Equipe de France de Football

Did she bless the rains down in Africa?

On 4/11/2025 at 11:45 AM, Underdog said:

Of course now she’s telling me she saved a few hundreds bucks by not having buy a new pan and can spend that money on something else. 

That's fucking fantastic.

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The kids have been body shaming my wife who has recently acquired a few pounds around her buttal area.

She complained to me, and in my infinite wisdom said “they’re not wrong though.”

She’s been mad at me ever since. That was 4 days ago.

59 minutes ago, Superhero said:

The kids have been body shaming my wife who has recently acquired a few pounds around her buttal area.

She complained to me, and in my infinite wisdom said “they’re not wrong though.”

She’s been mad at me ever since. That was 4 days ago.

Dude, I'm divorced and firmly committed to a remaining life of bachelorhood, and even my dumbass knows not to say something like that.  Take it to the stupid things celibate husbands say thread.

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

The kids have been body shaming my wife who has recently acquired a few pounds around her buttal area.

She complained to me, and in my infinite wisdom said “they’re not wrong though.”

She’s been mad at me ever since. That was 4 days ago.

She ain't ever going to forget that either. You done effed up 

3 hours ago, BigHorn'13 said:

image.jpeg.a08b993269d64cbfeb031610d742c5b2.jpeg

Avatar does not check out. Zero confusion. 100% expected outcome.

Can’t say I’ve noticed any extra lbs around her buttal area. 

13 hours ago, Superhero said:

The kids have been body shaming my wife who has recently acquired a few pounds around her buttal area.

She complained to me, and in my infinite wisdom said “they’re not wrong though.”

She’s been mad at me ever since. That was 4 days ago.

What you could have said is "they're not wrong, but I like it!"  That way if it bothers her she can work on it, but sexy time is still an option.

You need to apologize and clarify how it looks good on her and is "PH" phat.  Don't matter your honest opinion, fix this.

Just start playing that song "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" song on loop when she is around.

She also told me in no certain terms that she doesn't want to hear what I have to say.

So... I haven't spoken to her since Friday night. It wasn't too hard since I was out of the house most of the weekend - camping with my daughter and doing dad/son stuff afterwards. But I've kept my mouth shut in case in my tiptoeing around, I break another fragile eggshell that is her feels.

 

She's really good at cold warfare, so we'll see who breaks the truce first. It's been 58 hours and the clock ticks on.

 

22 minutes ago, Superhero said:

She also told me in no certain terms that she doesn't want to hear what I have to say.

So... I haven't spoken to her since Friday night. It wasn't too hard since I was out of the house most of the weekend - camping with my daughter and doing dad/son stuff afterwards. But I've kept my mouth shut in case in my tiptoeing around, I break another fragile eggshell that is her feels.

 

She's really good at cold warfare, so we'll see who breaks the truce first. It's been 58 hours and the clock ticks on.

 

How old are the kids?

18 minutes ago, General Specific said:

Over/under on how long Superhero is “camping”!

I've already looked for his post in the divorce thread. Nothing yet, but it's coming.

59 minutes ago, Superhero said:

She also told me in no certain terms that she doesn't want to hear what I have to say.

So... I haven't spoken to her since Friday night. It wasn't too hard since I was out of the house most of the weekend - camping with my daughter and doing dad/son stuff afterwards. But I've kept my mouth shut in case in my tiptoeing around, I break another fragile eggshell that is her feels.

 

She's really good at cold warfare, so we'll see who breaks the truce first. It's been 58 hours and the clock ticks on.

 

Walk into the bedroom one night with Sir Mix-a-lot cranking on your phone.

15 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Walk into the bedroom one night with Sir Mix-a-lot cranking on your phone.

Is she shorter, say around 5'3"?  If so, really stress the lyric about 36-24-36.  This is a golden opportunity.

16 hours ago, Superhero said:

The kids have been body shaming my wife who has recently acquired a few pounds around her buttal area.

She complained to me, and in my infinite wisdom said “they’re not wrong though.”

She’s been mad at me ever since. That was 4 days ago.

a whole 4 days, huh?

Late last year my wife brought up something I said when we were dating that hurt her feelings.  We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in February.  And it wasn't anything as stupid as what you said.

Youre Fucked GIFs | Tenor

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

For those wondering… 

  Hide contents

image.jpeg.0d5693b013c7e5d16347ac058c9867e4.jpeg

 

That's not real. You just shoved a toaster up her skirt.

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

12 and 10

Damn that’s not even little kid innocent shaming.  That’s straight up bullying their mom.

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