July 17Jul 17 She either wrecked it, or she liked it so well she never came home with her old car. I think the sales guy knows who he’s dealing with here. Edited July 17Jul 17 by CycleTex87
July 17Jul 17 1 hour ago, CycleTex87 said: She either wrecked it, or she liked it so well she never came home with her old car. I think the sales guy knows who he’s dealing with here. She came home with it. Like S.O.2 said- salesman was playing chess.
July 18Jul 18 9 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said: We got a new AC last week ($14K, fuck) with a Nest thermostat. I told my wife that the app can only be on one phone. So far that seems to be working. Same here
July 18Jul 18 Genuine laugh out loud at run out of gas get new car.I think it was PJ O’Rourke who told a story about how when the Saudis were first swimming in oil money they would trade in their Benzes when the ashtrays started overflowing.
July 18Jul 18 I think I’ve told this story before, but the wife of a friend of mine took their SUV to the dealership for some minor repairs. Dealership says our loaner car is out for the day, but use this brand-new SUV to run your errands. Take your time. Yep……. That's how I was surprised with a new leased S-Class in my BearSchlong 1.0 simulation.Fuck I love version 2.0. My overhead is about 75% less.Except rn I got sucked into taking her to see Rick Springfield tonight with my son’s in-laws. The Woodlands GILF watching might be amusing.
July 18Jul 18 51 minutes ago, BearSchlong said: I think it was PJ O’Rourke who told a story about how when the Saudis were first swimming in oil money they would trade in their Benzes when the ashtrays started overflowing. Elderly, eccentric bachelor neighbor eats unshelled peanuts and throws the shells on the floorboards. Trades pickups every two years and says they get the shells too.
July 19Jul 19 On 7/18/2025 at 3:05 PM, BearSchlong said: That's how I was surprised with a new leased S-Class in my BearSchlong 1.0 simulation. Fuck I love version 2.0. My overhead is about 75% less. Except rn I got sucked into taking her to see Rick Springfield tonight with my son’s in-laws. The Woodlands GILF watching might be amusing. Rick freaking Springfield? Jesse’s Girl, General Hospital guy? He’s still alive and selling tickets?!?
July 20Jul 20 On 7/18/2025 at 3:05 PM, BearSchlong said: That's how I was surprised with a new leased S-Class in my BearSchlong 1.0 simulation. Fuck I love version 2.0. My overhead is about 75% less. Except rn I got sucked into taking her to see Rick Springfield tonight with my son’s in-laws. The Woodlands GILF watching might be amusing. Don't ever let anyone try to tell you that Jesse's Girl is not one of the greatest pieces of music ever created.
July 20Jul 20 On 7/17/2025 at 2:44 PM, Kennythetiger said: I think I’ve told this story before, but the wife of a friend of mine took their SUV to the dealership for some minor repairs. Dealership says our loaner car is out for the day, but use this brand-new SUV to run your errands. Take your time. Yep……. Hahaha what a bunch of cunts.
July 22Jul 22 I'm meeting some friends in Wisconsin for a motorcycle trip in September...... "Is Wisconsin a town or a state?"
July 22Jul 22 Popular Post Has [mention=1080]Clintonaldo[/mention] posted pics of his wife’s new whip yet?
July 22Jul 22 7 hours ago, Liteitup said: I'm meeting some friends in Wisconsin for a motorcycle trip in September...... "Is Wisconsin a town or a state?" She sounds insanely hot. 6 hours ago, Clintonaldo said: She has horrible penmanship.
July 22Jul 22 I’m going to be honest…she has played this game at a level I didn’t she was capable of and I tip my hat to her. This is me right now.
July 26Jul 26 Wife tells me she has to go to work for a bit, I would like to know what time she'll be back so I can plan taking kid to work and dinner. Me: What time will you be home? Wife: it shouldn't take long Me: What time will you be home? Wife: I just have to do one thing Me: What time will you be home? Wife: I'll text you when I'm on the way home. door slam.
July 26Jul 26 2 hours ago, blacklab said: Wife tells me she has to go to work for a bit, I would like to know what time she'll be back so I can plan taking kid to work and dinner. Me: What time will you be home? Wife: it shouldn't take long ... This is closely related to: Me: Do you want the red one or the blue one? Wife: The blue one. You know, because <proceeds to femsplain why she prefers blue for 11 minutes> ... did you hear a word I said!?!? Me: Blue.
July 27Jul 27 4 hours ago, blacklab said: Wife tells me she has to go to work for a bit, I would like to know what time she'll be back so I can plan taking kid to work and dinner. Me: What time will you be home? Wife: it shouldn't take long Me: What time will you be home? Wife: I just have to do one thing Me: What time will you be home? Wife: I'll text you when I'm on the way home. door slam. Don’t text me because I’m not going to respond while I’m getting pounded by Dwayne and his 6 friend.
July 28Jul 28 Popular Post Wife called me at work on Friday. She usually texts, so a call means it’s something serious. Her: OMG. My tire pressure was low so I went to the gas station, and instead of pumping air into the tire, the air all leaked out and my tire is flat now. Me: I’m in a meeting, can you ask the gas station attendant to help? Her: I did, and I followed his instructions and that’s why my tire is flat now. I’m afraid to do anything because is I don’t want my tire to get even more flat. Me: I can go get you, but it’s gonna take me at least 30 minutes to get there. Can you ask someone else? I don’t hear from her for a few minutes and my daughter texts me.
July 28Jul 28 On 7/26/2025 at 7:11 PM, Superhero said: Don’t text me because I’m not going to respond while I’m getting pounded by Dwayne and his 6 friend. That is an odd and very specific response to her parting comment.
July 29Jul 29 18 hours ago, Superhero said: Wife called me at work on Friday. She usually texts, so a call means it’s something serious. Her: OMG. My tire pressure was low so I went to the gas station, and instead of pumping air into the tire, the air all leaked out and my tire is flat now. Me: I’m in a meeting, can you ask the gas station attendant to help? Her: I did, and I followed his instructions and that’s why my tire is flat now. I’m afraid to do anything because is I don’t want my tire to get even more flat. Me: I can go get you, but it’s gonna take me at least 30 minutes to get there. Can you ask someone else? I don’t hear from her for a few minutes and my daughter texts me. Where do you live that a has gas station attendant with any mechanical skills at all?
July 29Jul 29 10 minutes ago, CycleTex87 said: Where do you live that a has gas station attendant with any mechanical skills at all? Mayberry? (but only if Wally's working)
July 29Jul 29 19 minutes ago, CycleTex87 said: Where do you live that a has gas station attendant with any mechanical skills at all? Gas station attendant? That's an odd thing to call a cashier.
July 29Jul 29 On 7/17/2025 at 11:24 AM, Jameslaw121 said: We got a new AC last week ($14K, fuck) with a Nest thermostat. I told my wife that the app can only be on one phone. So far that seems to be working.
July 29Jul 29 10 hours ago, Gil Bang said: Mayberry? (but only if Wally's working) Everyone knows that you go to Goober for auto repair.
August 3Aug 3 Does he want a freaking medal? Hell, my wife hasn't heard a word I've said in 20 years, too.
August 4Aug 4 We rented a pontoon boat over the weekend. My sister brought out her sunblock. Exhibit A: The boat is pointing north, the wind is blowing north to south. My sister (red dot) was about to spray sunblock. I asked her to go to the back of the boat (green cross) where it wouldn't get on anyone else. She said of course and moved to the back of the boat. Exhibit B: We turned West. The wind is still blowing north to south. Scenario IF my sister had stayed where she was. We pointed the boat west. Had she stayed where she was, the people on the port side of the boat would have gotten a face full of sunblock. Exhibit C Boat pointing west. Wind still blowing north to south. Sister actually moved to the back of the boat. But since my sister had moved to the stern of the boat, she didn't spray anyone but herself. Wife: I guess your sister didn't need to move since the wind is blowing from the front of the boat to the back. Yes, she actually thought the wind would change directions depending on which way the boat was pointed. Edited August 4Aug 4 by Superhero
August 4Aug 4 Where did you pick up that extra person? Just now, Kennythetiger said: Where did you pick up that extra person? Edit- the pontoon story.
August 5Aug 5 You’re failing to account for the air movement caused by the boat moving through the air
August 5Aug 5 1 hour ago, Superhero said: Yes, she actually thought the wind would change directions depending on which way the boat was pointed. She's not wrong, just ask anyone who has tried to sit on the non-smoky side of a campfire. The wind follows you man!!!!
August 5Aug 5 3 hours ago, Sam Lin said: She's not wrong, just ask anyone who has tried to sit on the non-smoky side of a campfire. The wind follows you man!!!! I hate white rabbits
August 5Aug 5 5 hours ago, Superhero said: We rented a pontoon boat over the weekend. My sister brought out her sunblock. Exhibit A: The boat is pointing north, the wind is blowing north to south. My sister (red dot) was about to spray sunblock. I asked her to go to the back of the boat (green cross) where it wouldn't get on anyone else. She said of course and moved to the back of the boat. Exhibit B: We turned West. The wind is still blowing north to south. Scenario IF my sister had stayed where she was. We pointed the boat west. Had she stayed where she was, the people on the port side of the boat would have gotten a face full of sunblock. Exhibit C Boat pointing west. Wind still blowing north to south. Sister actually moved to the back of the boat. But since my sister had moved to the stern of the boat, she didn't spray anyone but herself. Wife: I guess your sister didn't need to move since the wind is blowing from the front of the boat to the back. Yes, she actually thought the wind would change directions depending on which way the boat was pointed. TLDR Got pics of Wind? She sounds fun.
August 5Aug 5 Popular Post 20 hours ago, Superhero said: We rented a pontoon boat over the weekend. My sister brought out her sunblock. Exhibit A: The boat is pointing north, the wind is blowing north to south. My sister (red dot) was about to spray sunblock. I asked her to go to the back of the boat (green cross) where it wouldn't get on anyone else. She said of course and moved to the back of the boat. Exhibit B: We turned West. The wind is still blowing north to south. Scenario IF my sister had stayed where she was. We pointed the boat west. Had she stayed where she was, the people on the port side of the boat would have gotten a face full of sunblock. Exhibit C Boat pointing west. Wind still blowing north to south. Sister actually moved to the back of the boat. But since my sister had moved to the stern of the boat, she didn't spray anyone but herself. Wife: I guess your sister didn't need to move since the wind is blowing from the front of the boat to the back. Yes, she actually thought the wind would change directions depending on which way the boat was pointed. The delta between how much work you put into this post and the post's value is absolute comedy gold. Edited August 5Aug 5 by BHMCruiser
August 5Aug 5 2 hours ago, BHMCruiser said: The delta between how much work you put into this post and the post's value is absolute comedy gold.
August 7Aug 7 Popular Post There's been an ongoing topic that carries a little bit of conflict in my marriage. My wife wants to go on a cruise; I hate cruises. I've actually never been on one. I'm just pretty sure I'd hate it. I like to do my own thing, I don't like gluttony and I don't like being around a bunch of fat people. Anyway, my wife and I know where we both stand on the subject of cruises. Stupidly, for my MIL's birthday, my wife's "gift" to her mom was a trip. "Trip" was totally undefined, though my wife suggested the MIL's hometown. MIL was like, "Fuck that. Why would I want to go back there!" I LOLed to myself. But that morphed into my wife coming up with alternatives, one of which was a cruise. I was like, "Fine. Go. Good for you. But I'm not going." It got complicated where kids were going, which meant I would be the only one in my family not there (and not available to help with the kids). I was just like, "Hey, tough titty. I'm happy for you and the kids to go and I'm happy to pay for it, but I'm not going." This conversation happened like 3-4 times. Each one was the same - she'd describe some new wrinkle in the plan and mildly try to convince me to go and I'd tell her, again, I don't like cruises and I don't want to go. Fast forward to our road trip vacation this summer. First couple of hours in the car we're talking, catching up on a bunch of shit. Then she brings up the cruise again. "Hey, you know the cruise with my mom we've been talking about?" Mind you, this is like the fifth time she's brought it up. I responded, "Look, I told you. I'm not going. You and the kids can go. Great. But you know I don't like cruises and I am not going to do it." Her response (she's all pissed off now), "Well, if you would LET ME FINISH, I was going to tell you that plans fell through so it's not happening!" WTF? If the point you are trying to make is that the cruise is off, then A) why are you bringing it up in the first place, and B) you should lead with that, not with the same intro you used in the last four conversations about it where you tried to guilt me and convince me to go on this fucking cruise. We argued about it and it turned into this big fucking fight and she was pissed off at me for the rest of the trip. When we got home we were still fighting. At one point I told her, "Let me give you an example of why this is fucked up. Hey, I wanted to bring up anal sex again." "And then you say, 'I told you! I'm not doing it!!'" "Then I say, 'Well, if you would LET ME FINISH, I was going to tell you that I'm not interested in it anymore!" She was not amused, nor did she concede the point.
August 7Aug 7 Popular Post 1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said: I don’t know, man. You kind of sound like the prick in this one. Este. I believe that relationships involve compromise and marriages requires sacrifices. The latter is especially true once kids come along. Your wife told you there is something she wants to do and would like to experience. You have no experience with it, but assume you will hate it so refuse...repeatedly. My position is if you love your wife and family (or want to try to) then you can be honest and say it is not something you would want to do, but if to her (or the kids) it is something important then you make it important to you. You go, have as good of a time as possible, don't intentionally act miserable or cunty, but try to be happy and supportive as much as you can for your wife and kids. Cruises have both good and bad, but if you try to enjoy it and the time with your family you will have some good times and some good memories for all of you. They may be packed in between memories of a bunch of fat, oiled up, gluttons, but they will be there. Be the man/husband/father you want to be for your wife and kids. How you dress, interact, engage, support and speak with them is who you are...intentionally to them. You can control this. Right now if you honestly described yourself to your wife based on my criteria above would you be happy with who you are. With who you are to her and to your kids (they see how you two interact). Again, you can control this. Not trying to shit on you, but about 3 years ago I kind of went through this and decided that part of making my life/marriage better was having my wife see me (through my actions) as the man I wanted her to see. She has a similar role to play, and I can talk with her about how I want her to be to/for me, but I only control me.
August 7Aug 7 Eh, I don't ask my wife to watch horror movies with me because I know she doesn't like horror movies and besides, I don't want to be with her if she's not having fun.
August 7Aug 7 Popular Post Girl on my daughters soccer team has a hip injury. "labrum" What does my GD wife say at dinner with friends, girl has a torn labia.... I almost choked on my beer
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