Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

Got  low battery warning on the key FOB to our car. take both fobs to replace the battery while she's at the store (obviously, I have taken this key off her keychain at this point). When I get home she's on the couch watching TV

Me : Where is your keychain so I can put this back on.

Her : probably my purse, just put it on the counter and I'll do it later.

Me : No, it will get lost or you'll move it and I'll spend two hours looking for it.

Bitches enough that I leave it on the counter (mistake #1)

Few days later, it's just us so I say lets take the car so I can make sure both fobs are working correctly. Obviously we now can't find hers. She keeps saying "You have yours I thought you fixed it. We can just take yours."

me :"On the off chance I messed up putting it back together or the battery was bad, I want to take both. I also want to use both so I don't have to worry about yours."

So after about 30 minutes of both of us looking she finally says "Oh yeah, I put it my purse so it wouldn't get lost."

(mistake 2 - not checking her fucking purse first)

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

  • Popular Post

She's 57 years old and until yesterday she thought it was Christmas "ordament"

25 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

She's 57 years old and until yesterday she thought it was Christmas "ordament"

Nothing on this page will top this.

38 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

She's 57 years old and until yesterday she thought it was Christmas "ordament"

Wheelhouse

On 11/6/2025 at 5:46 AM, 52-80 said:

My wife just called to rant about workplace stuff and told me something that made me proud. 

She said, "you know, im a woman, but I *hate* working with women".  I almost teared up.

I heard similar sentiment from other gals in the workplace. Women: 40% of the employees, 80% of the drama.

 

80% is lowballing.

23 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

She's 57 years old and until yesterday she thought it was Christmas "ordament"

She sounds hot!

1 hour ago, luke duke said:

She sounds hot!

She is. Extremely. 

5 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

She is. Extremely. 

That’s nice - Sounds like she may have a cold though.

12 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Rules, motherfucker!

She'd murder me. 

  • Popular Post
She'd murder me. 

Sounds like a you problem.
On 11/13/2025 at 11:51 AM, luke duke said:

She sounds hot!

I’ve maintained for several years that Trixie is fine and Poko has hearing loss. 

20 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

She'd murder me. 

This is a safe space.

Her pictures are safe with us.

Don't worry.

  • Popular Post
On 11/15/2025 at 7:57 AM, Dnaguy said:

This is a safe space.

Her pictures are safe with us.

Don't worry.

image.jpeg.b22707001d39abdca866ce0c589cfb3e.jpeg

34 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

image.jpeg.b22707001d39abdca866ce0c589cfb3e.jpeg

Would bang your wife.  Would not be respectful of you while doing it to be honest.

44 minutes ago, TrashMaster G said:

Damn, son.

Got any nudes?

 

  • Popular Post
2 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Damn, son.

Got any nudes?

No.

Wait...do you???

 

Now we now why you put up with Trixie.

 

Now we just need pictures of @wood's wife.

7 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Now we now why you put up with Trixie.

 

Now we just need pictures of @wood's wife.

Oh Trixie....

 

(not that I have any room to lecture on grammar and spelling)

54 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Now we just need pictures of @wood's wife.

Wut? LOL how'd I get dragged into this?

2 hours ago, wood said:

Wut? LOL how'd I get dragged into this?

 

 

You posted a picture that your son took at a No Kings protest.

Do you remember? Because I 'member.

We only saw your wife from the back. Now we want pictures from the front.

 

 

On 10/9/2025 at 9:55 AM, BHMCruiser said:

All joking aside, when my wife got the first iphone with Siri, I would ask it to open the pod bay doors. It would pretend it did not understand. Later versions I would also ask. Then I got a new iphone and asked it to open the pod bay doors and Siri said "I'm afraid I can't do that." I asked it how much it cost Apple to answer that question and Siri said something to the effect of "I'm sure you understand."

Edit: I just tried it again and now it just kicks it to Google

I wonder if there's an Asian phonics adaptability app so not as to confuse silly/siri?

11 hours ago, Pokoloco said:

image.jpeg.b22707001d39abdca866ce0c589cfb3e.jpeg

You force your Hobbit wife to live in a normal size house? Damn

17 minutes ago, Foosters said:

You force your Hobbit wife to live in a normal size house? Damn

When it's a chick that hot, they are referred to as 'spinner'.

8 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

When it's a chick that hot, they are referred to as 'spinner'.

 

Negative. She’s not from the Philippines.

2 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

 

Negative. She’s not from the Philippines.

She is only 4'11" tho..

How do we know that isn’t a 14 foot door?

34 minutes ago, Pokoloco said:

She is only 4'11" tho..

 

True enough.

 

So joking aside, how tall are you? I'm asking because my wife's 5ft on a good day, if that. I'm 6'1", and have to admit it's getting to be a bit of a strain at times due to the height difference, and can kill my back. 

2 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

 

True enough.

 

So joking aside, how tall are you? I'm asking because my wife's 5ft on a good day, if that. I'm 6'1", and have to admit it's getting to be a bit of a strain at times due to the height difference, and can kill my back. 

I'm 5'8"  it works perfectly.

3 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

 

True enough.

 

So joking aside, how tall are you? I'm asking because my wife's 5ft on a good day, if that. I'm 6'1", and have to admit it's getting to be a bit of a strain at times due to the height difference, and can kill my back. 

Dragzilla - 30cm Extreme High Drag Queen Stiletto Platform ...

5 minutes ago, idigTexas said:

Dragzilla - 30cm Extreme High Drag Queen Stiletto Platform ...

 

Yeah, she has shorty syndrome for sure. Rarely wears anything with a heel, or she’d break her neck. 

Mrs. Brat was 5’2” when we married. 
Now she tops out at 5’ even.

I used to be 6’ even. 
Gravity lowered that to 5’10””.

10 hours ago, thunderlounge said:

Yeah, she has shorty syndrome for sure. Rarely wears anything with a heel, or she’d break her neck. 

 

15 hours ago, Superhero said:

 

One of those dudes is certainly dead from lung cancer by now.  You can hear the wheezing.

Me:  So what do we have going on this weekend?

Her: Well, today (Thursday) you pick up boys X, Y, Z from school and I'll come get them at your office at 4:30.  You then have a Scouts meeting at 6:30.  What time will you be home?  I need you to be home by 6 so I can take boy X to baseball.  Can you pick him up at 9? Friday, boy X is camping and doing the long hike for Philmont.  You saw where they changed the venue to be able to get a longer hike, right? He's going with his friend and his dad and they are bringing him home on Saturday, thank God.  They are so great for doing that.  Saturday, let's see, I talked to boy X's coach and they might have some games.  It's the last weekend of the season for actual games.  They don't start up again until February.  But I told him he can't do any games on Saturday until probably 3 or 4, so I'm waiting to hear back from the coach.  Boy Z has basketball at 8 a.m. instead of 10 a.m. because the gym wasn't available at the school so they moved it to a park.  So I'm going to take him instead of going to work out.  Then I'm going to get a massage because a girl is doing them for only $40.  So I'll bring Boy Z home from basketball.  Then nothing until Boy X gets home and you have to take him to his baseball game because I'm going to assist with that training when Chica comes to town and she'll be here this weekend and I will make $50 an hour. Is there a game on this weekend?  Do you know what time it is?  Do you want me to Google it?

Me:  It's at 2:30.  But I don't care about it.

Her:  Okay, great.

Me: And Sunday?

Her:  (Honestly, at this point all I heard was Charlie Brown adult voice, "Wah, wah, wahwahwah.")

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.