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Anyone's wife do something silly lately?
Nothing new. Fueled her car last night because E, and I cleaned out the pocket thing in her drivers door. Took 3 trips to the garbage.
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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Great turn this thread has taken over the last couple pages fellas.

 

HEB or Sprouts preformed patties are my go to when grilling at home. Buuuuuut, if I’m doing 50 burgers in 15 minutes in a hotel lawn or something (baseball tournaments), those will be thin frozen bastards and getting water dunked by the bag in a cooler for the (slight) dethaw process before hitting the grill.

Anybody can make a thick, perfect burger taste good on an Egg a couple at a time. Champions are made by making thin burgers decent in volume over small portables, hectic road game, dealing with adversity.

 

Do some of you go to cookouts and ask if the patties are hand-formed or frozen? I just eat the free food and move on.

6 hours ago, Anastasis said:

Great turn this thread has taken over the last couple pages fellas.

 

 

Has your wife done anything stupid lately?

d9747c4d69d14781aeef1aca7184b99c--price-

 

 

These fucking things.  I know when my wife has bought some new clothes, because I discover these things all over the closet, bathroom, and bedroom floor.  I discover them by stepping on them in the middle of the night.  It's not as painful as a lego, but still pretty annoying.

Mrs. Hoffa- WOW! Did you see about the new info that came out about the Natalie Holloway case????

Me- That's a name I haven't heard in awhile, what did they find out

Mrs. Hoffa- Look from Facebook (handing me her phone) 

Me- Um, this NEW story is from 6 years ago.....

Mrs Hoffa- Oh someone just posted it on Facebook.

 

FML

1 hour ago, BurntEyes said:

"Usually not a lot" line jumps out to me in addition to the stupid.

What obscure airlines does she fly.

American 

12 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Exactly how cooked are you getting the middle?  I think the issue may be that you don’t know when a burger is correctly done. 

IronicM.jpg

HEB or Sprouts preformed patties are my go to when grilling at home. Buuuuuut, if I’m doing 50 burgers in 15 minutes in a hotel lawn or something (baseball tournaments), those will be thin frozen bastards and getting water dunked by the bag in a cooler for the (slight) dethaw process before hitting the grill.
Anybody can make a thick, perfect burger taste good on an Egg a couple at a time. Champions are made by making thin burgers decent in volume over small portables, hectic road game, dealing with adversity.
 


I cook ~200 burgers at 3 different events every year. I hand make every patty.
12 minutes ago, luke duke said:

 


I cook ~200 burgers at 3 different events every year. I hand make every patty.

 

i'm sorry that you work for a catering service.

3 minutes ago, AM Wood said:

i'm sorry that you work for a catering service care about your community and volunteer your time.

fify

Out of respect to the wife, I’ve stayed away from this thread for a while. But here’s the latest doozy.

Wife and 2 friends go out paddle boarding around Balboa Island. They rent for an hour because it’s just a smallish loop, and other people usually take an hour or so.

My wife has a terrible sense of direction. So bad that even my 6 YO girl makes fun of mom. Anyway... between the 3 of them, no cell phones, no GPS, no 6 YO to guide them, they get COMPLETELY lost (going around a loop) and finally make it back 2.5 hours later, dehydrated, sunburned and exhausted.

fify
Electing community service over time isn't volunteering
On 9/3/2018 at 12:51 AM, Superhero said:

Out of respect to the wife, I’ve stayed away from this thread for a while. But here’s the latest doozy.

Wife and 2 friends go out paddle boarding around Balboa Island. They rent for an hour because it’s just a smallish loop, and other people usually take an hour or so.

My wife has a terrible sense of direction. So bad that even my 6 YO girl makes fun of mom. Anyway... between the 3 of them, no cell phones, no GPS, no 6 YO to guide them, they get COMPLETELY lost (going around a loop) and finally make it back 2.5 hours later, dehydrated, sunburned and exhausted.

You might have a perfect alibi in your back pocket right there......

Text or call my wife during work- don't hear back for an hour plus (She must be really busy I'm sure she will get back to me when she can)

Receive a text or call from my wife while I'm working- don't get back to her in 5 minutes (HELLO????!!!!!!! ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!)

 

 

So why are you ignoring her?

 

 

 

Never mind -- I know why.

4 hours ago, JimmyHoffa said:

Text or call my wife during work- don't hear back for an hour plus (She must be really busy I'm sure she will get back to me when she can)

Receive a text or call from my wife while I'm working- don't get back to her in 5 minutes (HELLO????!!!!!!! ARE YOU IGNORING ME?!)

 

 

You need to point the inequity out to her so that you can receive tone.

I was a nice husband and drove my wife and her friend to a talk by some 'expert' about hormones and other women's issues because traffic, parking etc

I then went and hung at a bar and had a steak and beer for dinner, at the nominated pick up time I am right outside and send a text " Come out the front door and head to the right"

I then watch her and her friend walk straight out down the path, I just watch them walk away.

2 minutes later they come wandering back and say we thought you meant turn to the right after we got to the sidewalk...

I just smiled and led them back to the car.

 

On 8/6/2018 at 10:11 PM, Larry T. Spider said:

I bet they go great on some $64 a pound line caught salmon. 

 

I don't know what was better yesterday:

1.  watered the yard about 30 minutes before it rained 

2.  asked if I wanted tickets to Texas vs. USC as my birthday present 

 

2 hours ago, Deej said:

 

Maybe goes in the stupid commercial thread but this commercial never once says what these bitches actually do, AND they never show their faces so I can't tell if they're not enough for me not to give a shit about the first part. 

I wonder if Jimbo will cite Horton Hears A Ewe in his press conference as the reason for the loss.

Mr. GH - Sweetheart, why are there 2 half open cartons of coconut milk in the fridge?

Mrs. GH - Because one of them is expired

Mr. GH - tone

12 hours ago, Spartan52 said:

I was a nice husband and drove my wife and her friend to a talk by some 'expert' about hormones and other women's issues because traffic, parking etc

I then went and hung at a bar and had a steak and beer for dinner, at the nominated pick up time I am right outside and send a text " Come out the front door and head to the right"

I then watch her and her friend walk straight out down the path, I just watch them walk away.

2 minutes later they come wandering back and say we thought you meant turn to the right after we got to the sidewalk...

I just smiled and led them back to the car.

 

Why are you driving my wife and her older sister around?  

13 hours ago, Spartan52 said:

I then watch her and her friend walk straight out down the path, I just watch them walk away.

Missed a perfect chance to head back to the bar for another beer or 4

  • Popular Post

Had to get a new water heater installed yesterday. Plumber says to give it a few hours to fill up and get up to full temperature and then if it's too hot or too cold to go up and adjust the thermostat.

No one showers last night - wife is the first one this morning. She storms into my study at 5:30 this morning to complain that the water isn't hot enough.

"This water is not HOT! This is WARM! I can't wash my hair. I don't feel clean. I feel like I have just covered myself with urine!"

"So you've been pissed on before and know what that feels like? You never told me that about yourself."

Tone. 

Had to get a new water heater installed yesterday. Plumber says to give it a few hours to fill up and get up to full temperature and then if it's too hot or too cold to go up and adjust the thermostat.
No one showers last night - wife is the first one this morning. She storms into my study at 5:30 this morning to complain that the water isn't hot enough.
"This water is not HOT! This is WARM! I can't wash my hair. I don't feel clean. I feel like I have just covered myself with urine!"
"So you've been pissed on before and know what that feels like? You never told me that about yourself."
Tone. 
Sorry for partying.
19 hours ago, Spartan52 said:

I was a nice husband and drove my wife and her friend to a talk by some 'expert' about hormones and other women's issues because traffic, parking etc

I then went and hung at a bar and had a steak and beer for dinner, at the nominated pick up time I am right outside and send a text " Come out the front door and head to the right"

I then watch her and her friend walk straight out down the path, I just watch them walk away.

2 minutes later they come wandering back and say we thought you meant turn to the right after we got to the sidewalk...

I just smiled and led them back to the car.

 

Completely worth it for the two hours alone in a bar with a steak though right???

10 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Completely worth it for the two hours alone in a bar with a steak though right???

100%

Edited by Spartan52

22 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

I see 3 things wrong there

I figured out “got married” as 1 of the 3.

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We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

2 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

wait.jpg

54 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

Well, all the Dude wanted was his rug back, and look how that turned out.

2 hours ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

CLR and marble mix well.

Ouch.

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

When does the renovation begin?

 

 

I know a guy looking to unload a 6 foot crab

Probably before I get my glass of water.

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)
I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  
All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.
 


I’d say that you deserve that for hiring an interior decorator to replace a faucet, unless you’re banging the decorator on the side.
3 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

0bf139af-bf1a-4d09-a27f-b416ff2bea48_tex

4 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

You’re fucked.  Been there.  

8 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

Leader in the clubhouse for the last 5 pages or so, though actually may need to go to the Stupid husbands thread instead.

9 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

So what was the price range, because I was seriously thinking about combining our two small bathrooms into one large one.

31 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

So what was the price range, because I was seriously thinking about combining our two small bathrooms into one large one.

Break your faucet and you'll find out.

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

So what was the price range, because I was seriously thinking about combining our two small bathrooms into one large one.

No clue!  I'm hoping I don't have to find out.

12 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

No clue!  I'm hoping I don't have to find out.

Laughing Idi Amin Gif goes here

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