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The Mrs. is going out of the country for work for a couple of weeks. We have a plan in place in which I'll get home around 5:15, after working my 12 hour shift, and we can leave the house by 6 for the drive to Houston to stay in a hotel so she can fly out in the morning. 

I get home, shit, shower, shave and get dressed and am standing at the door at 6:00pm. I also took out the upstairs trash, fed her cats, gave the dog food and fresh water and loaded the car.

Her? She left work 3 hours early to pack and we leave 40 minutes late.

Not a big deal. Whatever. 

Stop for a quick bite and I let her drive while I navigate as I'm starting to get sleepy and we are only 30 minutes from the hotel anyway. We're 4 minutes out when she tells me that I need to close the navigation app and look for her booking app so we call find the hotel as she actually navigated us to the airport, instead of the hotel. Started to get pissed but i don't say a word. Start digging through her app looking for the hotel reservation.

Can't find it. 

She tells me to look in another app. Still no hotel. 

Finally I close her shit out and pull out my phone. Find the hotel address in seconds and gets us back on track after having her bust a u-turn. 

We pull into the parking so she can spend 10 minutes rifling through her bags for her "special" brush. Whatever the fuck that is. Finds brush seems head inside. 

Anyone care to guess what happens when we get to the counter?

You guessed it. No fucking reservation!

Fuck my life.

 

Edit: Oh and she still has yet to check into her flight. Smh

Edited by Best served cold

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Fuck all y'all. For the grill frozen patties are great. They hold their shape and cook more evenly and uniformly than handmade meat clods. Much easier to manage when you are cooking for more than 3-4 people. 


Nothing wrong with them.
22 hours ago, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

giphy.gif

8 hours ago, Best served cold said:

The Mrs. is going out of the country for work for a couple of weeks. We have a plan in place in which I'll get home around 5:15, after working my 12 hour shift, and we can leave the house by 6 for the drive to Houston to stay in a hotel so she can fly out in the morning. 

I get home, shit, shower, shave and get dressed and am standing at the door at 6:00pm. I also took out the upstairs trash, fed her cats, gave the dog food and fresh water and loaded the car.

Her? She left work 3 hours early to pack and we leave 40 minutes late.

Not a big deal. Whatever. 

Stop for a quick bite and I let her drive while I navigate as I'm starting to get sleepy and we are only 30 minutes from the hotel anyway. We're 4 minutes out when she tells me that I need to close the navigation app and look for her booking app so we call find the hotel as she actually navigated us to the airport, instead of the hotel. Started to get pissed but i don't say a word. Start digging through her app looking for the hotel reservation.

Can't find it. 

She tells me to look in another app. Still no hotel. 

Finally I close her shit out and pull out my phone. Find the hotel address in seconds and gets us back on track after having her bust a u-turn. 

We pull into the parking so she can spend 10 minutes rifling through her bags for her "special" brush. Whatever the fuck that is. Finds brush seems head inside. 

Anyone care to guess what happens when we get to the counter?

You guessed it. No fucking reservation!

Fuck my life.

 

Edit: Oh and she still has yet to check into her flight. Smh

Yeah-  If where my head hits the pillow at night is in question......I'm making the reservations.

I may have a kitchen faucet replacement that'll cost me $100k, but I'm always sure of where I have a place to sleep.

9 hours ago, Best served cold said:

The Mrs. is going out of the country for work for a couple of weeks. We have a plan in place in which I'll get home around 5:15, after working my 12 hour shift, and we can leave the house by 6 for the drive to Houston to stay in a hotel so she can fly out in the morning. 

I get home, shit, shower, shave and get dressed and am standing at the door at 6:00pm. I also took out the upstairs trash, fed her cats, gave the dog food and fresh water and loaded the car.

Her? She left work 3 hours early to pack and we leave 40 minutes late.

Not a big deal. Whatever. 

Stop for a quick bite and I let her drive while I navigate as I'm starting to get sleepy and we are only 30 minutes from the hotel anyway. We're 4 minutes out when she tells me that I need to close the navigation app and look for her booking app so we call find the hotel as she actually navigated us to the airport, instead of the hotel. Started to get pissed but i don't say a word. Start digging through her app looking for the hotel reservation.

Can't find it. 

She tells me to look in another app. Still no hotel. 

Finally I close her shit out and pull out my phone. Find the hotel address in seconds and gets us back on track after having her bust a u-turn. 

We pull into the parking so she can spend 10 minutes rifling through her bags for her "special" brush. Whatever the fuck that is. Finds brush seems head inside. 

Anyone care to guess what happens when we get to the counter?

You guessed it. No fucking reservation!

Fuck my life.

 

Edit: Oh and she still has yet to check into her flight. Smh

Somewhere there's a hotel that just charged you for not showing up.  It might be in her destination city, or it could be in your hometown, but probably not in Houston.

15 minutes ago, miguelito said:

Somewhere there's a hotel that just charged you for not showing up.  It might be in her destination city, or it could be in your hometown, but probably not in Houston.

Or it's in Houston, Tennessee. 

Hope her destination country is a friendly place bc at this rate she’ll probably be sleeping in parks and rail stations there.

50 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

Yeah-  If where my head hits the pillow at night is in question......I'm making the reservations.

So much this.  I've traveled enough in my career to make sure these logistics points are totally covered before I depart.

Over/under on foreign cocks she smokes?

She just texted me:

Her:  Who the hell wants to sit out in the crappie weather for a football game?

Me: Yeah, it sure is fishy..

Her: ?

Me: I'll bring a pole and some jigs.

Her: Why are you doing this?

 

On 9/6/2018 at 8:36 AM, Reagan1k said:

We need to replace our kitchen faucet set and can't find a direct replacement.  We have a girl who is an interior designer/decorator that's worked on the house before,  so I told my wife to get her to look at it and come up with a replacement that would look appropriate and fit in the space.  (My fucking fault here)

I came home last week to the same faucet........and 4 pages of sketches converting our bedroom/bath and an adjacent guest room/bath into one master suite with sitting room, shoe closet, makeup counter...all that bullshit.  

All I wanted was a glass of water from the faucet.

 

[Bill]  Ummm, yeah, we're goona need you to go ahead and give us an update on how this all plays out.

Oh, and if you could go ahead and send us some pics, that'd be great, okay? [/Lumberg]

11 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Ooof. How large is the divot?

No divot.  I got to it fast enough that it has only stained it.  I'll have to replace that vanity now.  Pretty sure this was her plan all along.  

We’ve only been in the area a short while and had agreed we’d not do anything major to the house until we decided how we liked living here.

That  agreement was presumably forgotten  by one party..... but not I.  For now those plans go in the drawer......for now.. 

1 hour ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

No divot.  I got to it fast enough that it has only stained it.  I'll have to replace that vanity now.  Pretty sure this was her plan all along.  

In the long run it might be cheaper to replace the wife

5 hours ago, miguelito said:

Somewhere there's a hotel that just charged you for not showing up.  It might be in her destination city, or it could be in your hometown, but probably not in Houston.

Oh you've got a reservation at that hotel alright-3 weeks from now.

My wife bought generic Miracle Whip.

 

"It was on sale!"

14 minutes ago, Modessit said:

My wife bought generic Miracle Whip.

 

"It was on sale!"

We've got some divorce attorneys on this site.  Need me to get you one?

26 minutes ago, Modessit said:

My wife bought generic Miracle Whip.

 

"It was on sale!"

generic versions of cheap knock offs of actual products.  isn't america wonderful?

Miracle whip blows ass anyway. The Chinese version is probably better.

5 hours ago, Modessit said:

My wife bought generic Miracle Whip.

 

"It was on sale!"

How is "generic Miracle Whip" labeled?

4 minutes ago, You don't know me said:
14 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:
How is "generic Miracle Whip" labeled?

"Fake, Fake Mayonnaise"

How do you distinguish between fake mayonnaise and fake Miracle Whip? "Miracle Whip" is copyrighted so they can't call it that on the label. 

How do you distinguish between fake mayonnaise and fake Miracle Whip? "Miracle Whip" is copyrighted so they can't call it that on the label. 
"Vile, Disgusting Shit"
3 minutes ago, You don't know me said:
4 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:
How do you distinguish between fake mayonnaise and fake Miracle Whip? "Miracle Whip" is copyrighted so they can't call it that on the label. 

"Vile, Disgusting Shit"

Many people would say the same thing about mayonnaise. 

Many people would say the same thing about mayonnaise. 

But at least it isn't something disgusting trying to be something else that some find disgusting.

 

Yeah, I am extremely bored. Sitting in my vehicle at my 2 oldest boys' high school football game. Raining a lot here in the STL area. 2 minutes left in 1st quarter when they go into weather delay for lightning. 30 minutes pass and they start to come back out. About half the team is out and there is another strike. Everybody back in. At this point I am just waiting for them to call it so I can take them home. Getting surlier and surlier with every passing minute.

 

And for the wives and the smart things they do thread: Wife takes the rest of the kids home. She's done for the night while I am sitting in a parking lot.

Living in (Jefferson Barracks) St. Louis during the mid- 1950s made me surly.

Oh you've got a reservation at that hotel alright-3 weeks from now.

I was waiting in the lobby of a hotel one night when a guy comes in to check in. They go round and round and finally get it sorted out. He had wanted to check in on the 8th for 3 nights. He booked it for 80 nights starting on the third of the month. All on his debit card. Dumbass.
6 minutes ago, Modessit said:


 

 


a62d9ce8e4f9826dfc9a56326dc9c4d1.jpg

 

No HFCS. It might be better than Miracle Whip. Although that residue on the top of the jar looks kind of thin. Were sugar and vinegar listed as two of the top three or four ingredients?

the residue under the jar is disgusting.
From some shit my kids put in there without a lid. My wife thinks she's going to get them to clean the entire fridge this weekend. We'll see.

Miracle Whip: made from mistakes & eggs

4 hours ago, Lobo said:

Miracle Whip: made from mistakes & eggs

It's just mayonnaise with extra sugar and vinegar and some additional flavorings like mustard powder. It's like mayo with an added gastrique. 

23 hours ago, Modessit said:

My wife bought generic Miracle Whip.

 

"It was on sale!"

That's like a double negative 

Miracle Whip discussion not going away.

 

tumblr_n1dfxizs8p1ttv8bpo1_400.gif

My wife made chili with beans in it tonight.

My wife went down to SA yesterday to have lunch with some of relatives from Nebraska who were there for the weekend.

She called me before she came back...

"We're at a BBQ place, do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Where are you?"

"A place called Bill Miller."

"WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?"

"They wanted BBQ.  Do you want me to bring you some ribs or anything?"

<hangs up phone>

2 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

My wife went down to SA yesterday to have lunch with some of relatives from Nebraska who were there for the weekend.

She called me before she came back...

"We're at a BBQ place, do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Where are you?"

"A place called Bill Miller."

"WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?"

"They wanted BBQ.  Do you want me to bring you some ribs or anything?"

<hangs up phone>

Hangs up phone and immediately calls a divorce attorney, I hope.

Their breakfast tacos are some of the best in Austin. But their BBQ is horrifying.

 

 

 

Their breakfast tacos are some of the best in Austin. But their BBQ is horrifying.
 
 
 

Their fried chicken ain’t bad, either.

But yeah...no to the cue.
15 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

My wife went down to SA yesterday to have lunch with some of relatives from Nebraska who were there for the weekend.

She called me before she came back...

"We're at a BBQ place, do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Where are you?"

"A place called Bill Miller."

"WHHHAAAAATTTT!?!?!?!?"

"They wanted BBQ.  Do you want me to bring you some ribs or anything?"

<hangs up phone>

If they wanted Mexican food, she would have taken them to Taco Bell, right?

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