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8 minutes ago, G650 said:

Livers and gizzards with some hot sauce. Yes sir.

When I read this it comes out in slingblade voice.

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  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

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Wife and I are leaving for vacation on friday, it's been planned since April. I told my wife that maybe we could share my suitcase, as I'm packing mostly shorts and t-shirts. She didn't think we could get everything in one suitcase and said we might have to pack seperately. No big deal, I get the blue suitcase I used for every one of our vacations and start to see what I can get in there. I ask her why she didn't get her suitcase, she tells me we only have this one. Sometime in the last 2-3 years, she sold her suitcase in a garage sale because it was "broke". I asked what was broken, I got no answer. She had just assumed that she was going to use the one suitcase. When I asked her what she thought I'd be using, other than the same blue case I've used for the last 10 years, she had no idea.

Guess who gets to go suitcase shopping tonight??? Fuck.

I regularly get snaps like this and my wife doesn't understand how I don't understand what she is trying to say...
HlKMnCXz_o.jpg


We have those same dish towels.
I regularly get snaps like this and my wife doesn't understand how I don't understand what she is trying to say...
HlKMnCXz_o.jpg


We have those same dish towels.
5 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Potentially hundred-long groups (blocks) of numbers that are assigned which encode the distance from a baseline (also known as base point) which is typically in the heart of a geographically large municipality such as a city. The base point is occasionally applied to a conurbation of cities. C'mon McFly, ask your husband when you get home.

I still got nothing

1 hour ago, WBT said:

I still got nothing

We probably need South Austin's mom for conurbation. 

18 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

For one, I compliment her for using voice to text because she's obviously driving

Potentially hundred-long groups (blocks) of numbers that are assigned which encode the distance from a baseline (also known as base point) which is typically in the heart of a geographically large municipality such as a city. The base point is occasionally applied to a conurbation of cities. C'mon McFly, ask your husband when you get home.

Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.

Source: I build roads for a living.

I don't know if this is stupid wife stuff, or uninformed ETB stuff.

This morning when mixing an Emergen-C into about 10 ounces of my bottled water.

W - You're only supposed to mix that in 4-6 ounces of water, or you don't get all the nutrients

ETB - Don't you get all the nutrients regardless, since it all goes to the same place?

W - I don't know, whatever.

Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.
Source: I build roads for a living.
That all sounds good in theory, but my experience as a delivery driver tells me whomever numbers the streets is drunk most of the time. Odds and evens switch sides halfway down the street, 12 is right across the street from 8113, one street skips by 2 while the next street skips by 4, etc. Anytime who thinks there is a quantifiable and logical reasoning for the numbering that can be applied everywhere is drunk, too.
3 minutes ago, Modessit said:
14 minutes ago, G650 said:
Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.
Source: I build roads for a living.

That all sounds good in theory, but my experience as a delivery driver tells me whomever numbers the streets is drunk most of the time. Odds and evens switch sides halfway down the street, 12 is right across the street from 8113, one street skips by 2 while the next street skips by 4, etc. Anytime who thinks there is a quantifiable and logical reasoning for the numbering that can be applied everywhere is drunk, too.

No, what you say is accurate 

I can say that around here we have some drunk 911 addressing people because they pull shit out of their ass on many of our projects.

Her mom is out of town, so we're picking up her mail for her..

Wife: Why does she have so many magazine prescriptions?

Me: They're what the doctor ordered? They'll cure what ails her??? 

Her: **blank stare, moves on to next topic**

I really think she's just fucking with me at this point.

 

 

On 9/7/2018 at 3:12 PM, elfenix said:

generic versions of cheap knock offs of actual products.  isn't america wonderful?

...Better mousetraps, reinventing the wheel something something something....

On 9/10/2018 at 5:01 PM, HenryJames said:

Another colonoscopy probably.

While you are awake, and with no prep.

1 hour ago, Pokoloco said:

Her mom is out of town, so we're picking up her mail for her..

Wife: Why does she have so many magazine prescriptions?

Me: They're what the doctor ordered? They'll cure what ails her??? 

Her: **blank stare, moves on to next topic**

I really think she's just fucking with me at this point.

 

 

Nope, it's just not correctable.  My wife speaks fluent Trixie.  You just get to have fun with it and suffer occasional embarrassment when you're out with friends.

17 hours ago, Sandman said:

Wife and I are leaving for vacation on friday, it's been planned since April. I told my wife that maybe we could share my suitcase, as I'm packing mostly shorts and t-shirts. She didn't think we could get everything in one suitcase and said we might have to pack seperately. No big deal, I get the blue suitcase I used for every one of our vacations and start to see what I can get in there. I ask her why she didn't get her suitcase, she tells me we only have this one. Sometime in the last 2-3 years, she sold her suitcase in a garage sale because it was "broke". I asked what was broken, I got no answer. She had just assumed that she was going to use the one suitcase. When I asked her what she thought I'd be using, other than the same blue case I've used for the last 10 years, she had no idea.

Guess who gets to go suitcase shopping tonight??? Fuck.

If it's just t-shirts and shorts and stuff like that, I just use my gym bag.

4 hours ago, Modessit said:
4 hours ago, G650 said:
Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.
Source: I build roads for a living.

That all sounds good in theory, but my experience as a delivery driver tells me whomever numbers the streets is drunk most of the time. Odds and evens switch sides halfway down the street, 12 is right across the street from 8113, one street skips by 2 while the next street skips by 4, etc. Anytime who thinks there is a quantifiable and logical reasoning for the numbering that can be applied everywhere is drunk, too.

Or when they start over because the street name "changed." Watter road turned into N Watters road. Bitch whole damn thing is two miles long. You don't need to change the fucking name

105th street, avenue, way, drive, court, lane, etc. Those are always fun.

23 hours ago, TrashMaster G said:

Should guys bring their wives?

Only if the wives are good with hookers and bad decisions.

4 hours ago, G650 said:

Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.

Source: I build roads for a living.

Must have some huge addresses on I-10

3 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Must have some huge addresses on I-10

I feel sorry for anyone who has a driveway on an interstate 

14 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

105th street, avenue, way, drive, court, lane, etc. Those are always fun.

all the post oaks around the galleria/uptown* in houston say 'hi'

 

 

 

 

*houston has actual geographic up, mid, and down towns, but of course we call the geographic uptown "downtown," the geographic downtown "the med center," and some place 10 miles west "uptown"

19 minutes ago, G650 said:

I feel sorry for anyone who has a driveway on an interstate 

Must be hard for all those businesses lining I-10 to get their mail without addresses.

all the post oaks around the galleria/uptown* in houston say 'hi'
 
 
 
 
*houston has actual geographic up, mid, and down towns, but of course we call the geographic uptown "downtown," the geographic downtown "the med center," and some place 10 miles west "uptown"

Like Peachtree in Atlanta. Everything is on Peachtree Street.
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Must be hard for all those businesses lining I-10 to get their mail without addresses.

I've never seen a driveway apron off a non rural Interstate in my life. The roadside service stations in some places are as close as it gets, and they use exit numbers .

Edited by G650

You could live in Atlanta on one of the fifteen Peachtree street/roads. Half of them are hyphenated with something else, so writing addresses is a bitch.

Well maybe I assumed something that doesn't exist everywhere else?  If I'm in downtown Wichita, Douglas and Main to be exact, I am at the starting point of every fucking address for the surrounding diameter of (total guess here) 20 miles.  As you move away from the Douglas and Main in any fucking direction, your address gets larger.   I live between 103rd and 119th, and my address is 113xx.  If you're on the North or East side of a road, you're an even number.  South or West you're odd.

My point was that if you asked a woman 35 or under, hell could be 45 for that matter, that she would assume the number was randomly created by the address fairy, when in fact, at least where I live, it's a very logical process that is determined by the exact place you are standing to the intersection of Douglas and Main in downtown Wichita.

Wichita and the surrounding metro area (the 20 mile diameter guess) holds about 500k people.

Now I do know for a fact that St. Louis does not follow these same addressing procedures the same way.  But St. Louis is a huge shithole so who gives a shit.

If I made an assumption that doesn't apply to your area of the world, then by all means, my sincerest apologies for you having to go fuck yourslef.

Edited by mulletpelini

28 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

Well maybe I assumed something that doesn't exist everywhere else?  If I'm in downtown Wichita, Douglas and Main to be exact, I am at the starting point of every fucking address for the surrounding diameter of (total guess here) 20 miles.  As you move away from the Douglas and Main in any fucking direction, your address gets larger.   I live between 103rd and 119th, and my address is 113xx.  If you're on the North or East side of a road, you're an even number.  South or West you're odd.

My point was that if you asked a woman 35 or under, hell could be 45 for that matter, that she would assume the number was randomly created by the address fairy, when in fact, at least where I live, it's a very logical process that is determined by the exact place you are standing to the intersection of Douglas and Main in downtown Wichita.

Wichita and the surrounding metro area (the 20 mile diameter guess) holds about 500k people.

Now I do know for a fact that St. Louis does not follow these same addressing procedures the same way.  But St. Louis is a huge shithole so who gives a shit.

If I made an assumption that doesn't apply to your area of the world, then by all means, my sincerest apologies for you having to go fuck yourslef.

Is 'yourslef' another name for your slut?  cuz sluts are cool

1 hour ago, mulletpelini said:

Well maybe I assumed something that doesn't exist everywhere else?  If I'm in downtown Wichita, Douglas and Main to be exact, I am at the starting point of every fucking address for the surrounding diameter of (total guess here) 20 miles.  As you move away from the Douglas and Main in any fucking direction, your address gets larger.   I live between 103rd and 119th, and my address is 113xx.  If you're on the North or East side of a road, you're an even number.  South or West you're odd.

My point was that if you asked a woman 35 or under, hell could be 45 for that matter, that she would assume the number was randomly created by the address fairy, when in fact, at least where I live, it's a very logical process that is determined by the exact place you are standing to the intersection of Douglas and Main in downtown Wichita.

Wichita and the surrounding metro area (the 20 mile diameter guess) holds about 500k people.

Now I do know for a fact that St. Louis does not follow these same addressing procedures the same way.  But St. Louis is a huge shithole so who gives a shit.

If I made an assumption that doesn't apply to your area of the world, then by all means, my sincerest apologies for you having to go fuck yourslef.

Not like that anywhere else except for Salt Lake City, where every address is relative to the temple. 

Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.
Source: I build roads for a living.
I live on a road that is 3/4 mile long. Starts at 9000. Why is that? 1-8999 wasnt taken.
30 minutes ago, markstanco said:
11 hours ago, G650 said:
Addresses start from where the road starts. They change the first digit every block. That's about it unless you live on some BFE country road in the middle of nowhere.
Source: I build roads for a living.

I live on a road that is 3/4 mile long. Starts at 9000. Why is that? 1-8999 wasnt taken.

See previous posts about drunk road namers/numberers.

 

 

1 hour ago, G650 said:

See previous posts about drunk road namers/numberers.

 

 

I did, but didnt know if there was a reasoning otherwise. 

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ADDRESSES.

FOCUS.

1 hour ago, tejas60 said:

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT ADDRESSES.

FOCUS.

How dare you address me in that tone!

Everybody IS focused! On addresses!

Speaking of addresses, one night I was taking 281 down to Austin. At some random place, my wife asked what city we were in. I told her that I didn’t think we were in a city at that point. She insisted that we must be in a city. I explained that we’ll always be in a county, but some areas aren’t in a city. You may remember this story, since I told it at the old site. I have an update:

My wife and I are at a back to school teacher party recently. She brought up this story and I explained it to the women we were talking to. Guess what, one of them never knew about unincorporated areas either.

10 hours ago, markstanco said:

I did, but didnt know if there was a reasoning otherwise. 

200w.webp

I'm an idiot. Standing outside a restaurant we've been to 30 times waiting for wife to arrive for lunch.  I should have left at the planned meeting time and I still would have gotten here before her.

Because she is currently lost.  With a GPS phone in her possession. 

Can already sense the Tone I'm going to get when she sees my expression upon her eventual arrive. 😠

In the parts of America that aren't featureless it's frequently difficult to lay out streets in a neat grid.

I'm an idiot. Standing outside a restaurant we've been to 30 times waiting for wife to arrive for lunch.  I should have left at the planned meeting time and I still would have gotten here before her.
Because she is currently lost.  With a GPS phone in her possession. 
Can already sense the Tone I'm going to get when she sees my expression upon her eventual arrive. [emoji34]
Update us how it ends.
33 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

In the parts of America that aren't featureless it's frequently difficult to lay out streets in a neat grid.

tenor.gif?itemid=3430376

 

3 hours ago, El Diablo said:

In the parts of America that aren't featureless it's frequently difficult to lay out streets in a neat grid.

san francisco says 'hi'

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

san francisco says 'hi'

I'm not sure if you are positing SFOs streets are a grid or not, but if you are, Lulz.

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