Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

12 hours ago, Druggist said:

I was stunned at the turn of events at first and was pretty much speechless.  Then I thought about Costa Rica and their summer cottage on the ocean in Nova Scotia.   It was an investment.  My in-laws are pretty awesome compared to the ones in the holiday thread.

At least she had the decency to press pause instead of just flipping the channel over to Grey's Anatomy or whatnot.

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

  • Popular Post

My wife is Sand Aggy. She gives zero fucks about football and I don't think she even ever went to a game while she was in school. Still, she's going to root for Tech and annoy the shit out of me for 3 hours 5 hours during the game just because. So I come up with this brilliant idea: I bet her $20 that Tech is going to win. She spent the entire game talking shit to me every time Texas scored and was rooting for the Horns the whole time. Best $20 I ever spent.

My wife is Sand Aggy. She gives zero fucks about football and I don't think she even ever went to a game while she was in school. Still, she's going to root for Tech and annoy the shit out of me for 3 hours 5 hours during the game just because. So I come up with this brilliant idea: I bet her $20 that Tech is going to win. She spent the entire game talking shit to me every time Texas scored and was rooting for the Horns the whole time. Best $20 I ever spent.
And that $20 will turn into something like this, right?

ed2b25aac757576c36a743e123199c22.jpg

No, she will spend the $20 on lunch one day and pay $500 for that monstrosity in celebration of her “win”.

1 hour ago, You don't know me said:

And that $20 will turn into something like this, right?

ed2b25aac757576c36a743e123199c22.jpg

Nightmare fuel.  Seriously, that looks like something you prank someone with by putting it on their nightstand so that it's the first thing they see when they wake up....

It will look perfect next to the 3 foot crab in the bathroom

Edited by Cheeseweasel

14 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It will look perfect next to the 3 foot crab in the bathroom

Your wife has crabs?

7 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Your wife has crabs?

You might want to get checked out.

18 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

and she had access to the remote why, exactly...?

that's on you

Right!?  Who was fetching your beer and making sammiches?

5 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

My wife is Sand Aggy. She gives zero fucks about football and I don't think she even ever went to a game while she was in school. Still, she's going to root for Tech and annoy the shit out of me for 3 hours 5 hours during the game just because. So I come up with this brilliant idea: I bet her $20 that Tech is going to win. She spent the entire game talking shit to me every time Texas scored and was rooting for the Horns the whole time. Best $20 I ever spent.

Reverse pay for the win.  Impressive. 

2 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Reverse pay for the win.  Impressive. 

The real question is how many years in a row can he pull it off.

On 11/8/2018 at 8:50 AM, Cheeseweasel said:

I like the cut of her jib.

I'm not sure her new husband feels the same way LOL

1 hour ago, Incredulity said:

The real question is how many years in a row can he pull it off.

Well, she went to TCEH so probably the rest of his life.

  • Popular Post

"Did you hear that Spike Lee died today?"

4 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Your wife has crabs?

Just one. But it's a doozy. 

"Did you hear that Spike Lee died today?"
This could be one of those fly under the radar dark horses
2 hours ago, miguelito said:

"Did you hear that Spike Lee died today?"

You did the right thing.

2 hours ago, miguelito said:

"Did you hear that Spike Lee died today?"

That’s Marvelous

6 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Your wife has crabs?

You can get those from a dirty toilet, you know. 

11 hours ago, miguelito said:

"Did you hear that Spike Lee died today?"

I have to know your response. Was it:

A) No, baby. STAN Lee

B) BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

C) (tone)

D) Mixed yourself a drink

5 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I have to know your response. Was it:

A) No, baby. STAN Lee

B) BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

C) (tone)

D) Mixed yourself a drink

It was actually very much this:

no-country-for-old-men-tommy-lee-jones1.

 

Followed by her: "No, wait. .... wait .... Steve, Stan, STANLEY!"

On 11/11/2018 at 8:18 AM, Incredulity said:

Well, mine has perfected the art of sending some garbled gibberish of a text and then not being able to answer the phone when I call for a translation moments later.

Which basically broke me of giving a fuck about when she texts.  Quick scan for the words hospital, kids name or emergency. If not, I will deal with it when I get home.

From now on, respond to a gibberish text with:  Ok, cool.  Hook'em.

On 11/12/2018 at 10:44 AM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

My wife is Sand Aggy. She gives zero fucks about football and I don't think she even ever went to a game while she was in school. Still, she's going to root for Tech and annoy the shit out of me for 3 hours 5 hours during the game just because. So I come up with this brilliant idea: I bet her $20 that Tech is going to win. She spent the entire game talking shit to me every time Texas scored and was rooting for the Horns the whole time. Best $20 I ever spent.

THAT is how you do marriage.  (As we ignore the clutter obscuring Mitch's view of the tv)

12 hours ago, Archer said:

You can get those from a dirty toilet, you know. 

You guys need to keep your wives off of tractors.

Mitch's wife was the USC cheerleader before transferring to TCEH.

1 hour ago, TrashMaster G said:

From now on, respond to a gibberish text with:  Ok, cool.  Hook'em.

"But honey, here's your reply. You said you were o.k. with me buying the Mercedes."

Nope, not a recommended standard practice. 

1 hour ago, Buffsoldier said:

"But honey, here's your reply. You said you were o.k. with me buying the Mercedes."

Nope, not a recommended standard practice. 

This guy fucks.

Wife was reheating some bowtie noodles from last nights supper.. put the microwave at 2 minutes and walks away to do something downstairs

And then the beeping of the microwave every 30 seconds to remind you that yes, there is hot food inside, drove you insane

Ok, so it is not only mine. 

It gets two beeps. It can sit on the counter. Eventually it goes another round. Maybe. It has been scraped into the trash on a few testy occasions. 

And then the beeping of the microwave every 30 seconds to remind you that yes, there is hot food inside, drove you insane
The. Worst.
  • Popular Post
1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Wife was reheating some bowtie noodles from last nights supper.. put the microwave at 2 minutes and walks away to do something downstairs

 

8 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I Was there to save it after the 20 seconds it was needed to heat up

So farfalle, so good. 

my wife likes to reheat coffee in the microwave and then walk away and forget about it. After it got cold because she walked away and forgot about it after drinking half a cup. 

Not sure why she shared this with me, but guess whose car this was?

Still not as good as the time a few years ago she left the keys in her running car because she didn't want to miss the train. (story from the old site)

 

Parking%20Lot.jpg

2 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

^^^

Umm, why didn't whoever reported it just shut the trunk?

Yeah, that post is a triple threat: dumbass who left trunk open, dumbass who called it a truck (oh, Trixie), and same dumbass not just closing it.

not my wife, but one of her friends...someone she knows got hit by a car and died...the friend posted the article from a tv station website on her facebook page and tagged (whatever that means) her deceased friend...uhmm...     

not my wife, but one of her friends...someone she knows got hit by a car and died...the friend posted the article from a tv station website on her facebook page and tagged (whatever that means) her deceased friend...uhmm...     
"Feeling sad and depressed with *insert dead person here *"
  • Popular Post
12 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

not my wife, but one of her friends...someone she knows got hit by a car and died...the friend posted the article from a tv station website on her facebook page and tagged (whatever that means) her deceased friend...uhmm...     

Well the car tagged the friend first.  

1 hour ago, Leeroy Jenkins said:

Well the car tagged the friend first.  

Gotdammit. See you in hell.

4 hours ago, Dennis Taylor said:

not my wife, but one of her friends...someone she knows got hit by a car and died...the friend posted the article from a tv station website on her facebook page and tagged (whatever that means) her deceased friend...uhmm...     

I would guess that is so all of the dead person's friends will receive word that they were kilt.

I still see people on facebook writing birthday messages to dead people and it is really obvious they don't know they're dead. 

3 minutes ago, Nuge said:

I still see people on facebook writing birthday messages to dead people and it is really obvious they don't know they're dead. 

Not nearly as cringy as "happy birthday in heaven!!!"

If they are reading Facebook when they are dead, they are in Hell dumbass.

8 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Not sure why she shared this with me, but guess whose car this was?

Still not as good as the time a few years ago she left the keys in her running car because she didn't want to miss the train. (story from the old site)

 

Parking%20Lot.jpg

Could this be a story on the new site as well?  I haven't heard it.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.