Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

I can help out on the Tupperware. We have a drawer full of lids and bowls none of which match each other.  Maybe one of y’all has the matching pieces. 

  • Replies 23.8k
  • Views 2.2m
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

  • BearCountry11
    BearCountry11

    From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

Posted Images

"Why do we have all of these Tupperware bowls without lids?

"I don't know."

"I mean, neither of us threw lids away, right?"

"Of course not."

"So the only thing I can think of is that someone took them to work for lunch and only remembered to bring back the bowl.  I don't take these to work.  Do you?"

Tone.

1 hour ago, cactusflinthead said:

Throw away the unmatched ones and plead ignorance. Been working so far.

 

20 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


 

 


Wait...you can do that?

 

You can.  1% success rate for me.

5 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

Tax time.

"It just doesn't seem like we made that much money last year (we being just me, in our case)."

Don't I know it honey.

Like my kids belief in Santa Claus, I can only assume my wife believes that there are money trees somewhere on our property that just mass produce $100 bills. It’s the only explanation at this point other than the fact that she just has no concept of money. I gave her a rough total a few weeks ago on how much is being spent this year on trips and she just couldn’t believe it was anywhere near the amount mentioned. I actually undershot the total.

It melted on the heating element.
The kids nuked it too long and it was bubbly.
And tried and true
The dog ate it
Plausible deniability my friends

9 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Wait...you can do that?

Df9Vwrzx_o.gif

Edited by retread

After living for years with my wife's plastic ware organization scheme, I pulled every thing out of the cabinet and matched bottoms to tops; affixed the bottoms to the tops; and plastic ware back in the cabinet.  Not near as much would fit, but at least I don't have to search for lids every damn time.

Her tried and true method - neatly stack bottoms together by size and shape, store lids together, and spend 10 minutes to match when needed.  With a bunch of miscellaneous plastic ware, that plan sucks.   

10 hours ago, Brew said:

Like my kids belief in Santa Claus, I can only assume my wife believes that there are money trees somewhere on our property that just mass produce $100 bills. It’s the only explanation at this point other than the fact that she just has no concept of money. I gave her a rough total a few weeks ago on how much is being spent this year on trips and she just couldn’t believe it was anywhere near the amount mentioned. I actually undershot the total.

Never ceases to amaze me...the few times I've forgotten my wallet when we're out to dinner or lunch and she has to pay the bill, she can't get over how much the total is.  I mean, the prices are on the menu when I'm paying the tab.  But, when she actually sees the total and realizes how expensive even a casual lunch with a couple glasses of wine is because the restaurant has done the math for her, her mind is blown and she all the sudden has a concept of money.

1 minute ago, Landomatic said:

Never ceases to amaze me...the few times I've forgotten my wallet when we're out to dinner or lunch and she has to pay the bill, she can't get over how much the total is.  I mean, the prices are on the menu when I'm paying the tab.  But, when she actually sees the total and realizes how expensive even a casual lunch with a couple glasses of wine is because the restaurant has done the math for her, her mind is blown and she all the sudden has a concept of money.

It's a fleeting recognition, because you know she SAVED SO MUCH when she bought those 5 pairs of super cute shoes in assorted colors.

2 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

After living for years with my wife's plastic ware organization scheme, I pulled every thing out of the cabinet and matched bottoms to tops; affixed the bottoms to the tops; and plastic ware back in the cabinet.  Not near as much would fit, but at least I don't have to search for lids every damn time.

Her tried and true method - neatly stack bottoms together by size and shape, store lids together, and spend 10 minutes to match when needed.  With a bunch of miscellaneous plastic ware, that plan sucks.   

the real trick is to toss it all out and buy plastic deli containers.  buy some quart, some pint, some cup or 12 oz.  get them all from the same supplier and all the lids will be the same.  never search for a lid again!  toss them when they get nasty.  and they stack.

Edited by elfenix

21 minutes ago, elfenix said:

the real trick is to toss it all out and buy plastic deli containers.  buy some quart, some pint, some cup or 12 oz.  get them all from the same supplier and all the lids will be the same.  never search for a lid again!  toss them when they get nasty.  and they stack.

this is really the way to go. I used to have a deal with the neighborhood Starbucks back in my hard boozing days where they would give me sleeves of small coffee cups and lids and I used these for roadies of Jameson, see a taxi cab won't let you bring an alcoholic drink into the cab but no one cares about a coffee. 

14 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Throw away the unmatched ones and plead ignorance. Been working so far.

In the Drifter house, its "throw away the unmatched ones and nobody ever notices".

On 4/10/2018 at 9:56 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

Fifteen minutes after arriving at work, I get a phone call. Her car has a flat. Its parked at the kids' school, school says its ok to leave where it is. She's going to Uber to work, can I "take care of it"?

I leave work, drive to the kids' school, park my car, walk to her car, open the hatch, trash blows out, diet coke bottles roll out, and there is a fuck ton of shit in the cargo area that I have to unload before I can get to the spare. List includes:

  • Two recycle bins full of recycling that has been in there  for a week (Oh, I'll take the recycling tomorrow during lunch).
  • Yoga mat
  • Briefcase so full of shit it won't close
  • Work out bag
  • Kids books and other misc kid shit that just piles up in the back seat, and she "cleans out" by throwing into the cargo area
  • Misc trash, junk mail, empty diet coke bottles, etc. (I wonder about the junk mail. Does she check the mail, then if its junk, throw it all the way into the cargo area? wtf? Same with empty diet coke bottles?

It took me longer to unload all that crap than it did to change the tire. Fuck.

 

Update, one week later:

I go to pile some shit in the recycle bins, and no bins. They aren't in her car. I ask her "Where are the recycle bins?" Answer: "Oh, I got tired of them being in the car, so I took them out and put them in my office."

On 4/16/2018 at 12:54 AM, TKthunder2 said:

May be a hormone thing (if she’s near that age).  Try to get her to go for a jog with you and get some of those endorphins pumping.

Might be a good idea.  She just turned 44.

My wife once purchased 40 Easter baskets because they were on sale for something like 5 for a dollar.  When asked what she was going to do with them, she replied, “I’m not sure but they’ll come in handy one day.”  They sat under the guest bathroom sink for weeks.

i waited about 3 months before trashing all of them.

15 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

To add.  She has never asked about them.

She will when next Easter rolls around.

And the Easter after that, and the Easter after that, and the...

1 hour ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

She will when next Easter rolls around.

And the Easter after that, and the Easter after that, and the...

Nope.  This was 10 years ago.  I got away cleanly. :)

15 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Nope.  This was 10 years ago.  I got away cleanly. :)

4dd.gif

 

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

2018 Tupperware Talk thread.

Not going away. Just like tupperware.

My wife's money trick is to round down (a lot) for something she likes/wants and to overestimate things I want/she doesn't like. So she wants something that is marked $38.99, she says, "Well, it's only 30 bucks!", as if the last $10 just gets waived off at the register. Or if I want some new gadget, she'll say "That's probably 50-60 bucks, too expensive" and I show her the price tag of $22 and she just turns up her nose at it. 

She does the same thing with store hours. If I tell her we need to get the car to the dealership first thing on Saturday, she'll say "Well, they probably don't open till 11." I say, "Yeah, a car dealer is gonna give up 2-3 hours of possible sales on the only weekend day they can be open, sure thing." Tone. She just doesn't want to get up at 8 on a Saturday but won't admit it.

20 minutes ago, Sandman said:

My wife's money trick is to round down (a lot) for something she likes/wants and to overestimate things I want/she doesn't like. So she wants something that is marked $38.99, she says, "Well, it's only 30 bucks!", as if the last $10 just gets waived off at the register. Or if I want some new gadget, she'll say "That's probably 50-60 bucks, too expensive" and I show her the price tag of $22 and she just turns up her nose at it. 

She does the same thing with store hours. If I tell her we need to get the car to the dealership first thing on Saturday, she'll say "Well, they probably don't open till 11." I say, "Yeah, a car dealer is gonna give up 2-3 hours of possible sales on the only weekend day they can be open, sure thing." Tone. She just doesn't want to get up at 8 on a Saturday but won't admit it.

My ex would do something similar. I wanted a 6 pack of good beer at $9.99 she would be like. Why don't you just get Coors light, you can't taste the difference after a couple anyway.... Then she would buy the expensive ice cream. 

27 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You allow your wife to veto purchases? That's on you.

Where did I write that? 

2 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

Nope.  This was 10 years ago.  I got away cleanly. :)

So you’re literally bitching about an $8 expense from 10 years ago?

Let me know when your wife’s Louie Vuitton rep has her on speed dial.  Until then...shut the fuck up.

Lol.  It wasn’t the expense.  It was the stupid set of Easter baskets sitting in the guest bathroom.

A little while ago I went into my garage and detected a hint of a dead animal smell. I'm thinking a critter crawled in and died. I go looking for what I thought was either a dead animal or zombie hiding behind in the corner when I noticed my RTIC cooler sitting in the corner. Oh shit!

I walk up to the cooler, take a deep breath and open it. In it I see two packages of rotting chicken floating in water.

I call my wife and ask her how the chicken ended up sitting in my cooler. Apparently she was using the grill for dinner while the kids were swimming a couple of weeks ago. She ended up not using the chicken but just put it in the cooler with ice because it stays cold for a long time.

Her: Doesn't that thing keep stuff cold for a really long time?

Me: Yeah but not for over two weeks after its been sitting in the garage. Why didn't you just put it in the freezer?

Her: because it was supposed to stay cold in the cooler.

firefly.gif

 

Yeah that’s bad.  As bad as when my brother and I were kids, took my dads tackle box fishing, and forgot to take out the pack of frozen shrimp when we were done.  A week later finding it in the garage he was not pleased.  

1 hour ago, F250 said:

A little while ago I went into my garage and detected a hint of a dead animal smell. I'm thinking a critter crawled in and died. I go looking for what I thought was either a dead animal or zombie hiding behind in the corner when I noticed my RTIC cooler sitting in the corner. Oh shit!

I walk up to the cooler, take a deep breath and open it. In it I see two packages of rotting chicken floating in water.

I call my wife and ask her how the chicken ended up sitting in my cooler. Apparently she was using the grill for dinner while the kids were swimming a couple of weeks ago. She ended up not using the chicken but just put it in the cooler with ice because it stays cold for a long time.

Her: Doesn't that thing keep stuff cold for a really long time?

Me: Yeah but not for over two weeks after its been sitting in the garage. Why didn't you just put it in the freezer?

Her: because it was supposed to stay cold in the cooler.

firefly.gif

 

Shoulda got the Yeti.  Stupid sip.

/aggy

Wife was complaining about not feeling good at supper tonight and thought she was running a fever. She uses the kids forehead thermometer and says something to the effect of see I have a fever. She turned it around where I could see it and it’s showing 98.2. I just turned around and walked off.

Shoulda got the Yeti.  Stupid sip.
/aggy
Doubt they would say that, isn't RTIC aggy alums?
28 minutes ago, markstanco said:
2 hours ago, Landomatic said:
Shoulda got the Yeti.  Stupid sip.
/aggy

Doubt they would say that, isn't RTIC aggy alums?

Oh I don’t know.  I’m just going by window stickers.

Does RTIC close right turn lanes?  Cause I have yet to buy a Yeti product after they fucked with my commute home.

14 hours ago, Landomatic said:

So you’re literally bitching about an $8 expense from 10 years ago?

Let me know when your wife’s Louie Vuitton rep has her on speed dial.  Until then...shut the fuck up.

You sir have forgotten the the title of this thread.

23 hours ago, Incredulity said:

It's a fleeting recognition, because you know she SAVED SO MUCH when she bought those 5 pairs of super cute shoes in assorted colors.

 

This guy gets it. My wife showed me a sale on some new patio furniture. "I can get a two chairs and a table for only this much". She came back with 4 chairs and two tables. I just laughed.

15 hours ago, F250 said:

A little while ago I went into my garage and detected a hint of a dead animal smell. I'm thinking a critter crawled in and died. I go looking for what I thought was either a dead animal or zombie hiding behind in the corner when I noticed my RTIC cooler sitting in the corner. Oh shit!

I walk up to the cooler, take a deep breath and open it. In it I see two packages of rotting chicken floating in water.

I call my wife and ask her how the chicken ended up sitting in my cooler. Apparently she was using the grill for dinner while the kids were swimming a couple of weeks ago. She ended up not using the chicken but just put it in the cooler with ice because it stays cold for a long time.

Her: Doesn't that thing keep stuff cold for a really long time?

Me: Yeah but not for over two weeks after its been sitting in the garage. Why didn't you just put it in the freezer?

Her: because it was supposed to stay cold in the cooler.

firefly.gif

 

So, either she admits she forgot the chicken or she says she thought a cooler could chill food indefinitely.  

And she opts for the magic cooler theory.

[Spock] Fascinating....  [/Spock]

Regular morning at the house:

1.  As I'm getting in the shower, wife says, "I'm going to work, bye!"

2.  I end up leaving for work before she does.

35 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Regular morning at the house:

1.  As I'm getting in the shower, wife says, "I'm going to work, bye!"

2.  I end up leaving for work before she does.

I believe this is the result of some law of nature.

 

It's a fleeting recognition, because you know she SAVED SO MUCH when she bought those 5 pairs of super cute shoes in assorted colors.


That she won’t wear because they hurt her feet


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
47 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Regular morning at the house:

1.  As I'm getting in the shower, wife says, "I'm going to work, bye!"

2.  I end up leaving for work before she does.

I'd love to see an activity list. Guessing it goes something like this:

  • "Heading out."
  • These shoes are uncomfortable > get new shoes
  • This dress doesn't match these shoes > new dress
  • I hate this dress > new dress
  • These shoes don't match > new shoes
  • "Heading out"
  • Forgets keys 
  • Returns to house to get keys
  • Goes to car 
  • Forgets coffee
  • Returns to house to get coffee
  • Forgets phone
  • Returns to house to get phone
  • Picks up phone, checks facebook
  • Kills 10 minutes on facebook
  • Refills coffee
  • Heads to car: "Heading out"

Fin

 

 

Driving downtown:

GF: "Why are all these cars driving the wrong way on this street?"

Me: White knuckled and scared shitless, "They aren't.  You are."

Luckily we only had to go a short block to turn.

 

 

Quote

 

GF?...GTFO with that shit. This thread is about our dumbass wives, you still have a chance.

Also that's your bad for letting her drive.

Edited by Brewin’1up

3 minutes ago, Brewin’1up said:

GF?...GTFO with that shit. This thread is about our dumbass wives, you still have a chance.

Also that's your bad for letting her drive.

LOL.  Fair enough. 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.