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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

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1 hour ago, satyanash said:

Roy Williams destroyed LSU in Dallas, not Simms.

You really cannot help yourself. At this point, I have my doubts that you are a real person. Someone is going to have to convince me that you are not a bot that is programmed to be the gapiest miserable cunt possible.

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  • Born Burnt
    Born Burnt

  • 49 in Sept.  It sucks - went from jogging and a swimmer to tremors and shakes.  I'm scared to death of fixing a light bulb on a ladder.  I just pray it isn't MS.  Neither have a blood test, it takes t

  • closetojumping
    closetojumping

    I know it feels like cool shit is happening, but Surly needs to gear all the fucking way up. Big big things coming. Let’s.Fucking.Go!

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This board is my therapist

Actually explains a lot 

23 minutes ago, Yev Kassem said:

Simms definitely stole a girl from @satyanash at Blind Pig back in 2000 and it lead to a lifelong grudge. 

@satyanash Was Simms' limo driver on his first day of school. Simms was so preoccupied with showing his teammates the car that he forgot to leave a tip. 

15 hours ago, BornOrange said:

 

We lost both of them just before halftime because Ced and Mike collided when trying to tackle a Buff returning an INT for a TD.

Ced concussed after hitting Mike's knee.

I think that injury lingered for about a year.  Ced in 2002 was not the same player.  I had heard it really impacted him for a year.

3 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

@satyanash Was Simms' limo driver on his first day of school. Simms was so preoccupied with showing his teammates the car that he forgot to leave a tip. 

No no, Simms put just the tip in Satya's gash leaving Satya craving more

2 hours ago, closetojumping said:

RW was great in that game, but Simms had an excellent game after the first quarter. You’re grinding a bizarre axe on this one. 

Simms played very well.  Almost ten yards per attempt.

That LSU team was not very good.  Lost 5 games.  And the SEC, especially the SEC West, sucked that year.  Fran won 10 games at Bama and not a single team he beat finished in the top 25.  Fran beat Saban 31-0 in Red Stick.

11 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

What’s a Jit?

Young dude. 
 

How old/white are you people? Christ 

Just now, Helobious said:

Young dude. 
 

How old/white are you people? Christ 

They were adults for a game in 2001.

2 minutes ago, Vermin said:

They were adults for a game in 2001.

Until about the 3rd quarter

22 minutes ago, IDIOTsavant said:

Never played cards in Brenham?

Not Brenham, but in probably 1986 or ‘87, I was witness to a card game in College Station. It included Jackie Sherrill, his DB coach Curley Hallman and members of the sports media covering the old SWC Tour. Hallman literally threatened to kill tiny Arkansas sportswriter Jerry Reed, but Jackie pulled him out of the room before it could happen. That was about as pissed as I’ve ever seen anyone. 

Just another day in College Station. 

Edited to add I see @cafe society is on the site this afternoon. CS, did you ever cover the Tour? I’ll bet our mutual friend was on that trip, may have been in the game…

Edited by Vito Andolini

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8 minutes ago, Helobious said:

Young dude. 
 

How old/white are you people? Christ 

you are just now finding out that surly consists of "old" and "white" people?!

Luke Skywalker GIF by Star Wars

3 minutes ago, NoName said:

you are just now finding out that surly consists of "old" and "white" people?!

Luke Skywalker GIF by Star Wars

Well it does sound like me, so ....

22 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

Not Brenham, but in probably 1986 or ‘87, I was witness to a card game in College Station. It included Jackie Sherrill, his DB coach Curley Hallman and members of the sports media covering the old SWC Tour. Hallman literally threatened to kill tiny Arkansas sportswriter Jerry Reed, but Jackie pulled him out of the room before it could happen. That was about as pissed as I’ve ever seen anyone. 

Just another day in College Station. 

Edited to add I see @cafe society is on the site this afternoon. CS, did you ever cover the Tour? I’ll bet our mutual friend was on that trip, may have been in the game…

They always sent our mutual friend on the conference press tour.  But I did get to hang out with the musicians doing blow off a hooker's ass.

2 hours ago, utee94 said:

He posts on surlyhorns.  Of course he should see a therapist.

 

 


Wait a minute, they told me Surlyhorns IS my therapist.

7 minutes ago, cafe society said:

They always sent our mutual friend on the conference press tour.  But I did get to hang out with the musicians doing blow off a hooker's ass.

The music beat was always more fun (I assume). Except those trips to Lubbock and the Tech girls. But that would involve a subsequent trip to the clinic. 

My shower thought today: Let’s say we unexpectedly crush it this year and make the CFP. As a result, top tier recruits not currently on our radar want in. Couldn’t we afford to take some of our culture guys that may not see the field off scholarship and pay their scholarships through NIL? Likewise, some of our “bread” could be enrolled as grey shirts with the same understanding in order to develop with the best.

1 hour ago, IDIOTsavant said:

Never played cards in Brenham?

Never heard Of her 

5 minutes ago, Shaggyhorn said:

My shower thought today: Let’s say we unexpectedly crush it this year and make the CFP. As a result, top tier recruits not currently on our radar want in. Couldn’t we afford to take some of our culture guys that may not see the field off scholarship and pay their scholarships through NIL? Likewise, some of our “bread” could be enrolled as grey shirts with the same understanding in order to develop with the best.

Probably should keep your shower thoughts in the shower 

5 minutes ago, Shaggyhorn said:

My shower thought today: Let’s say we unexpectedly crush it this year and make the CFP. As a result, top tier recruits not currently on our radar want in. Couldn’t we afford to take some of our culture guys that may not see the field off scholarship and pay their scholarships through NIL? Likewise, some of our “bread” could be enrolled as grey shirts with the same understanding in order to develop with the best.

Go back to your shower. Find diff thoughts. 

Is everybody happy that the I'd Pee In Her Butt stuff is bleeding into the recruiting board?

It's about the same as the food arguments and whatever these last three pages were about to me. I'm fine choosing to go to the other boards rather than having them come to me.

Texas updated the roster with Heights/Weights for the 2022 signees:

Freshman O-Line

6'6" 337 - Malik Agbo

6'3" 321 - DJ Campbell

6'5" 303 - Cole Hutson

6'7" 374 - Cam WIlliams

6'4" 298 - Conner Robertson

6'5" 314 - Neto Umeozulu

6'5" 318 - Kelvin Banks Jr

 

2023 Commits

6'4" 300 - Jaydon Chatman

6'6.5" 345 - Connor Stroh

6'6" 280 - Trevor Goosby

6'6" 330 - Andre Cojoe

6 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

Is everybody happy that the I'd Pee In Her Butt stuff is bleeding into the recruiting board?

It's about the same as the food arguments and whatever these last three pages were about to me. I'm fine choosing to go to the other boards rather than having them come to me.

Agreed. There are other sites I go to when I want to be sexually frustrated.

3 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

6'6" 337 - Malik Agbo

6'3" 321 - DJ Campbell

6'5" 303 - Cole Hutson

6'7" 374 - Cam WIlliams

6'4" 298 - Conner Robertson

6'5" 314 - Neto Umeozulu

6'5" 318 - Kelvin Banks Jr

That is some serious size. Agbo is right up there with Cam and Banks and Neto aren't too far off. <satya> Is Campbell too short to see the field? <satya>

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11 minutes ago, Bevo said:

That is some serious size. Agbo is right up there with Cam and Banks and Neto aren't too far off. <satya> Is Campbell too short to see the field? <satya>


satya:

6'6" 337 - Malik Agbo - from the PNW, probably smokes weed

6'3" 321 - DJ Campbell - too short 

6'5" 303 - Cole Hutson - too white 

6'7" 374 - Cam WIlliams - too big 

6'4" 298 - Conner Robertson - see Cole Hutson

6'5" 314 - Neto Umeozulu - could be a solid career backup

6'5" 318 - Kelvin Banks Jr - is a 5 star just like Chris Simms 

Edited by UncleSonny

11 minutes ago, Bevo said:

 <satya> Is Campbell too short to see the field? <satya>

I would think this makes him closer to the ground and should be able to see the field just fine. 

18 minutes ago, _Leaf_ said:

Agreed. There are other sites I go to when I want to be sexually frustrated.

Why don’t you just make like a tree and underscoreLeafunderscore.

And welcome.

24 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Texas updated the roster with Heights/Weights for the 2022 signees:

Freshman O-Line

6'6" 337 - Malik Agbo

6'3" 321 - DJ Campbell

6'5" 303 - Cole Hutson

6'7" 374 - Cam WIlliams

6'4" 298 - Conner Robertson

6'5" 314 - Neto Umeozulu

6'5" 318 - Kelvin Banks Jr

 

2023 Commits

6'4" 300 - Jaydon Chatman

6'6.5" 345 - Connor Stroh

6'6" 280 - Trevor Goosby

6'6" 330 - Andre Cojoe

That Neto weight is encouraging (assuming it’s good weight). He was listed in the Goosby range as a recruit.  Maybe he can share his meal plan with Vacek.

3 minutes ago, IDIOTsavant said:

That Neto weight is encouraging (assuming it’s good weight). He was listed in the Goosby range as a recruit.  Maybe he can share his meal plan with Vacek.

Huh, WTF are you talking about? Neto is a BAMF.

7 minutes ago, Vito Andolini said:

Why don’t you just make like a tree and underscoreLeafunderscore.

And welcome.

I'm addicted to this shit and r/cfb is full of Texas haters.

3 minutes ago, Goodman said:

Huh, WTF are you talking about? Neto is a BAMF.

Yeah, but he was listed in the 280 lbs range as a recruit. The same weight Goosby was listed at in what I quoted.

10 minutes ago, IDIOTsavant said:

That Neto weight is encouraging (assuming it’s good weight). He was listed in the Goosby range as a recruit.  Maybe he can share his meal plan with Vacek.

He also grew an inch. Forgot the camp, but someone said he had the best feet of any Texas recruit. 

3 minutes ago, IDIOTsavant said:

Yeah, but he was listed in the 280 lbs range as a recruit. The same weight Goosby was listed at in what I quoted.

fucks-sake-david-brent.gif

Was really hoping he would have named some rando hat on the table school as his third just to fuck with ATM. 

1 minute ago, Duane Moore said:

Was really hoping he would have named some rando hat on the table school as his third just to fuck with ATM. 

A final 3 of Texas, Ohio State, and AFC Richmond would have been epic

17 minutes ago, Texas Wahoo said:

 

 

One of these things is not like the others.

1 minute ago, Gucci_Suit said:

Looks like he’s taking a dump on Kyle field in his ag photo. 

I think he has his ass pointing that way so the dogs can see it. 

2 hours ago, Vito Andolini said:

Not Brenham, but in probably 1986 or ‘87, I was witness to a card game in College Station. It included Jackie Sherrill, his DB coach Curley Hallman and members of the sports media covering the old SWC Tour. Hallman literally threatened to kill tiny Arkansas sportswriter Jerry Reed, but Jackie pulled him out of the room before it could happen. That was about as pissed as I’ve ever seen anyone. 

Just another day in College Station. 

Edited to add I see @cafe society is on the site this afternoon. CS, did you ever cover the Tour? I’ll bet our mutual friend was on that trip, may have been in the game…

TIL the guitar man was also a sportswriter.

MV5BMjA2ODUyNTA1MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDM4

If he had got caught, I bet he would've gotten *90 DAYS!*

Edited by jeevsie

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Edited by Vermin

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