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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

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33 minutes ago, Dr. Teeth said:

Or a mechanic looked at it over a two day period. 

The “car issue” always makes folks nervous because it’s a reoccurring theme with many recruits over the years. I have no knowledge of his particular situation, but in general, it’s also entirely understandable if you take a moment to appreciate where a lot of these kids are coming from economically. I didn’t truly realize it until getting more involved with NIL. Some of these kids are coming from deeply below the poverty line. Having a reliable vehicle just isn’t possible for a lot of them, which is even more of an issue for an unofficial visit where we can’t provide additional assistance. If he couldn’t make it to Austin in the morning, but made it to BCS in the afternoon, I’d be concerned. But your point is accurate. After a couple days, it’s perfectly reasonable to assume they had someone fix the car or found another method of transportation.

Edited by SquishMitten

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1 hour ago, Hookem2147 said:

Holy shit some of these takes are hilarious. We have like 8-9 realistic targets on the board right now and several of them already have decision dates set (Baxter, Hale), recently took visits to Texas (Hill, Gullette) or have recruitments that are stretching out til January (Hicks). It’s a damn miracle Texas is still even in the Hill recruitment considering where they stood 3 or 4 months ago. It’s possible to recruit during the dates outside of a pool party for those unaware.

We had fucking Markis Deal, Vasek and Matthews on campus, all of whom we would take a commitment from tomorrow in addition to a pretty good contingency plan in Collins, which we know people in this thread love to bitch about how Texas “never has contingency plans”.

I don’t think Texas needs to apologize for having the majority of their class already wrapped up, but it sounds like some of you would have preferred a few of the current guys COMMITTED still be uncommitted just so the visit list looked cooler. Sorry the staff put in the work the last two months to where they didn’t have to put all their eggs in a 1 day unofficial visit basket.

And edge recruiting, guess what? That is one of the best positions to evaluate senior film on. Dudes like Ethan Burke who discover football late or guys who grow 3 inches and add 30 pounds heading into their season senior are pretty damn common. It’s 5 months til signing day and when you only have 1 glaring need left on the board with that amount of time, you get to devote extra resources.

Thinking our staff just decided last minute to throw a party and send out a couple of save the dates last week is one of the most hilarious narratives I’ve ever seen. I assume I’ll see most of those people in the A&M thread this weekend wishing they were Aggie fans.

 

Why do people keep saying Ethan Burke discovered football late? He played football in California and he played when he came to Texas. 

*He found there's no money in lacrosse late?

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“Our recruiting event which was planned well over a month in advance and specifically scheduled for a Thursday for various reasons was thrown together haphazardly AND GUYS WHAT IS HAPPENING WE ARE ARE FAAAAAAAILING!” isnt a take I expected to see today, but here we fucking are…watching a guy with 8+ years of higher education and a medical degree who’s been following recruiting for years just throwing himself into a pool of hot sewage, scrubbing under his arms, doing the backstroke, and casually spitting liquid into the air with total aplomb. Fuck. 
 

 

Edited by SydneyCarton

1 hour ago, Mr. Mojo Risin' said:

 

Vasek is a wild card. Been hearing Oregon for months but now I've just heard it could come down to Texas/ou.  

 

A Westlake kid doesn't flirt with leaving Austin for Oregon only to decide on Norman. I don't know shit but I know that. Unless he's fucking crazy.

Even if we got a bunch of commits this week, generally speaking the attrition rate is around 50%. So high likelihood they either transfer or end up as non contributors.  

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13 minutes ago, WBT said:

*He found there's no money in lacrosse late?

Should Burke turn out to be a player, y'all can thank Kai Locksley's idiot father for the gift.  On Burke's lacrosse OV to Maryland (current Nat'l Champs), they sat down w/ Mike Locksley to see about playing football as well, and he refused to offer a ship.  That's a HC w/ a career record of 15-49 coming off of his first winning season ever at 7-6, refusing to offer a scholarship to a DE who would have been the #2 ranked recruit in their class, at a school where lacrosse is the #1 sport.

1 hour ago, Burt Macklin said:

Bevo saw the level of stupid achieved yesterday and said 

how i met your mother challenge GIF by hoppip

Dude, if you are happy with our edge class and our plan for edge, I'll gladly listen. But, right now edge sucks. We were horrible last year and brought in Finkley and von Trapp. This past weekend we brought in two guys who are apparently not even edge recruits and Vasek who doesn't remind me much of Robinson or Orakpo. We have Walton who is 6'1.5" 215lbs and Gullete who no showed us and is injured at 6'2" 220lbs. So forgive me if I don't see a plan from our DC who is also acting as lead EDGE recruiter.

10 hours ago, Getafix said:

 

Parker Thune (OU 247):

— I was told Miguel Chavis was still deep in conversation on the field with Colton Vasek at 11:00pm, long after many of the folks involved with the event had retired for the evening. As I mentioned in a previous thread, this is suddenly shaping up to be a rather unexpected OU-Texas battle, some two months after it seemed Vasek was bound for either Oregon or Clemson. To this point in his career at OU, Chavis has hardly missed as a recruiter; Vasek is essentially his heat check. I’m cautiously optimistic here.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

Even if we got a bunch of commits this week, generally speaking the attrition rate is around 50%. So high likelihood they either transfer or end up as non contributors.  

This has to be a bit right?  Many recruits bust so we might as well just not get them or care about it in the first place. 

5 minutes ago, CowtownHorn said:

image.gif.0767a31076b1f61292410a56282687f9.gif

And I'll go out on a limb here. Everyone focuses on the "fuck this shit" girl. But, at the bar all four girls sitting together, which one do you go home with? Of course, I'm going home with the one sucking her thumb. :)

51 minutes ago, Bevo said:

And I'll go out on a limb here. Everyone focuses on the "fuck this shit" girl. But, at the bar all four girls sitting together, which one do you go home with? Of course, I'm going home with the one sucking her thumb. :)

They all seem batshit crazy to me. Not that it has ever mattered to me though. 😂

Edited by CowtownHorn

24 minutes ago, CowtownHorn said:

image.gif.0767a31076b1f61292410a56282687f9.gif

 

15 minutes ago, Bevo said:

And I'll go out on a limb here. Everyone focuses on the "fuck this shit" girl. But, at the bar all four girls sitting together, which one do you go home with? Of course, I'm going home with the one sucking her thumb. :)

2,1,3,4

19 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

This has to be a bit right?  Many recruits bust so we might as well just not get them or care about it in the first place. 

It's important to stay level headed about recruiting. There have been a bunch of highly ranked classes that didn't do shit.

Some people need to chill out a little and take a deep breath.  Two things to keep in mind. 1. Clearly Sark has a vision and it all started with Arch so obviously he got him to commit and that’s proof they can recruit.  2. Guys like Kirkland tell me we as fans have no idea what is going on behind the scenes and I’m OK with trusting the coaches at this point.  I feel like they’ve earned a little credibility on the recruiting side of things.  If you want to have something legitimate to worry about go the the football thread and analyze how Sark will put all of these pieces together and be successful on game day.  I’m just not worried about recruiting right now.  

34 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Dude, if you are happy with our edge class and our plan for edge, I'll gladly listen. But, right now edge sucks. We were horrible last year and brought in Finkley and von Trapp. This past weekend we brought in two guys who are apparently not even edge recruits and Vasek who doesn't remind me much of Robinson or Orakpo. We have Walton who is 6'1.5" 215lbs and Gullete who no showed us and is injured at 6'2" 220lbs. So forgive me if I don't see a plan from our DC who is also acting as lead EDGE recruiter.

never-go-full-retard-tropic-thunder.gif

2 hours ago, Bevo said:

It definitely came across that way. Just kind of a haphazard thing put together while our staff recharges. What's our big event with top remaining targets, the Alabama game? That's a plan. Let me put it another way. Going into the break we had a top 3 recruiting class with tons of momentum. We worked our asses off to get to that point. We had a chance to close out the class with Matthews, Gullette, Hill, and Hale and then go big game hunting for the low probability guys. Instead, we basically went on vacation. We may still sign those guys and regain the momentum with one or two longshots, but we made it harder on ourselves than it needed to be. YMMV

Oh shut up

19 minutes ago, Bevo said:

And I'll go out on a limb here. Everyone focuses on the "fuck this shit" girl. But, at the bar all four girls sitting together, which one do you go home with? Of course, I'm going home with the one sucking her thumb. :)

Cute hippie chicks love to fuck and are fun to run around with for about 6 weeks before you start to lose brain cells.

32 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Dude, if you are happy with our edge class and our plan for edge, I'll gladly listen. But, right now edge sucks. We were horrible last year and brought in Finkley and von Trapp. This past weekend we brought in two guys who are apparently not even edge recruits and Vasek who doesn't remind me much of Robinson or Orakpo. We have Walton who is 6'1.5" 215lbs and Gullete who no showed us and is injured at 6'2" 220lbs. So forgive me if I don't see a plan from our DC who is also acting as lead EDGE recruiter.

Vasek does not remind me of Orakpo either.  He is much bigger than Orakpo at that age.

And on that note, heading out to a wine tasting.  Please clean up this bloody mess before I get back.

35 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Dude, if you are happy with our edge class and our plan for edge, I'll gladly listen. But, right now edge sucks. We were horrible last year and brought in Finkley and von Trapp. This past weekend we brought in two guys who are apparently not even edge recruits and Vasek who doesn't remind me much of Robinson or Orakpo. We have Walton who is 6'1.5" 215lbs and Gullete who no showed us and is injured at 6'2" 220lbs. So forgive me if I don't see a plan from our DC who is also acting as lead EDGE recruiter.

dumb and dumber GIF

1 minute ago, cafe society said:

Cute hippie chicks love to fuck and are fun to run around with for about 6 weeks before you start to lose brain cells.

The scabies are drawback though.  

3 hours ago, hookemATL said:

This is the lifecycle of this thread

Concern—>Dread->hint of optimism->measured enthusiasm->jubilation(commitment days)->measured optimism->slight worry->dread/suicide watch/kill the world 

and on it goes. Same as it ever was. 

No, that's the football board cycle. All these bleeding jackwagons are just lost. The emotional roller coaster you describe is either a willing choice for those who need to feel something, or the startling result of a lack of experience following recruiting. Or both. 

 

Edit to add: There's absolutely no reason to respond to these insane, suicidal takes. Your measured response is neither a value add to the board, nor does it serve the op's desire to feel pain and sadness. 

Edited by Ricky's one-hitter

12 minutes ago, CptnJiggleBits said:

Vasek does not remind me of Orakpo either.  He is much bigger than Orakpo at that age.

And white

 

16 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

It's important to stay level headed about recruiting. There have been a bunch of highly ranked classes that didn't do shit.

This is classic coming from you, level headed.....LMFAO.....good advice.

34 minutes ago, CowtownHorn said:

They all seem bat-shit crazy to me. Not that it has ever mattered to me though. 😂

 

8A3DC2F3-E8B0-480B-A4E6-AC4FB1DBA637.gif

Just told my wife Colton Vasek is not Brian Okarpo. She is stunned. (No pics)

Edited by Hookem2147

24 minutes ago, CptnJiggleBits said:

Vasek does not remind me of Orakpo either.  He is much bigger than Orakpo at that age.

Orakpo was freak in every aspect. There is pretty much no situation that he should be the comp for

Edited by Codaxx

Louisville really throwing the bags around this cycle

 

There are always so many extreme takes on the recruiting threads.

If the last 12 years have taught us anything, it’s that no one should get too excited or upset about the recruiting status until the final results are done. It’s constantly changing.

Even weirder things are happening now because of NIL (see Nelson). Hell, even with a class that looks great (like all the 5 star DB’s from a few years ago), you really don’t know shit about fuck until they start playing. 

7 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

There are always so many extreme takes on the recruiting threads.

If the last 12 years have taught us anything, it’s that no one should get too excited or upset about the recruiting status until the final results are done. It’s constantly changing.

Even weirder things are happening now because of NIL (see Nelson). Hell, even with a class that looks great (like all the 5 star DB’s from a few years ago), you really don’t know shit about fuck until they start playing. 

Not to mention the transfer portal where top guys are going to hit the free agency market every single year (even if not officially)

35 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

No, that's the football board cycle. All these bleeding jackwagons are just lost. The emotional roller coaster you describe is either a willing choice for those who need to feel something,

 

I can only feel alive when I’m doubling down or splitting cards at blackjack, riding the recruiting roller coaster, or cutting myself. Thank you for understanding. Now, respect my decision. 

News flash: All recruits are wild cards. Every single one. Some are just a lot wilder than others. 

4 minutes ago, Foosters said:

Seems we're in the "bargaining" phase 

Yep, the bargaining stage of our top 5 class. I think I’ll sleep alright tonight.

 

Yep ... the Kwit and Choate bros strike again.

 

 

Stings worse cuz we seemed to have a chance after being behind the entire spring. Need to look at that Jayven Anderson kid from North Shore to pair with Lefau and Burrell.

Looks like their "one-day only offer" strategy still works after all

Sigh… It’s really no surprise. Aggy was always going to mortgage the farm to win at least 1 critical head-to-head…

1 hour ago, 6th Street said:

Even if we got a bunch of commits this week, generally speaking the attrition rate is around 50%. So high likelihood they either transfer or end up as non contributors.  

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