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Texas Recruiting Notes 2023: Strippers, Monkeys, and 5-Stars

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    closetojumping

    I know it feels like cool shit is happening, but Surly needs to gear all the fucking way up. Big big things coming. Let’s.Fucking.Go!

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#22453
5 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I feel like I read or saw an interview somewhere years ago that they made that "window" out of sugar in order for it to break without harming the actor when he headbutted it. 

My buddy hung out/worked out with him a bunch when he played Leatherface in the Texas Chainsaw remake they shot here about 20 years ago.  His opinion was that it wouldn’t have really mattered what it was made out of because the roids part wasn’t fiction.  
 

He also said Jessica Biel was a smoke show in person but a tiny human.  

#22456
On 9/5/2022 at 11:49 AM, Sir Ulrich said:

WR Kyle Parker has been talking with the staff recently. Transfers are what I would be most interested in poaching. Harold Perkins anyone? 

On 9/5/2022 at 12:31 PM, Bevo said:

I don't think Kyle Parker moves the needle much. He is one of their lowest rated recruits. Jalen Brown would. Shelton Sampson would. All of their EDs would. Mickens, Howard, and Heard would.

On 9/5/2022 at 4:05 PM, tokamak said:

The Office Thank You GIF

On 9/6/2022 at 6:36 AM, Ricky's one-hitter said:

23-341-3 doesn't "move the needle much" lol

 

I like our committed class, but if we end up with Kyle Parker, that would move my needle quite a bit. 

On 9/6/2022 at 7:04 AM, futureman said:

isolated stats from one high school game mean everything. 

 

 

I just reread the write-up that Hudson Standish did on Kyle Parker back in January:

https://www.on3.com/teams/texas-longhorns/news/texas-extends-offer-to-2023-lucas-lovejoy-wr-kyle-parker/

Quote

Outlook- Broke out on the Texas high school football scene this year catching 48 receptions for 775 yards and 13 touchdowns, along with over 1,400 all-purpose yards for the 5AD2 region two finalists Lovejoy Leopards. Parker has a great relationship with Texas WR coach Brennan Marion from his time at Pitt.

How he fits at the next level- Parker has the tools to move inside or outside to hunt matchups.

Strengths- Verified speed and yards after catch ability are the two attributes that immediately grab your attention. Parker works with DFW WR trainer Margin Hooks and it shows with how polished of a route runner he already is. Also has the ability to return kicks and punts at the next level.

Areas for Improvement / Concern- Most of the concerns with Parker are more nitpicks than genuine concerns, would like to see more receptions for Lovejoy next year but he is in a loaded WR room with SMU commit Jaxson Lavender and 2024 WR/TE Parker Livingstone.

Comparison- Former Oklahoma All-American WR Ryan Broyles

On3 profile scouting report:

Quote

Technical receiver with advanced route-running skills who projects in the slot at the next level. Has measured around 5-foot-10.5, 180 pounds heading into his senior season. Plays in a spread, vertical passing offense at the high school level, but shows lateral agility and route polish to easily project to a complex route tree in college. Wins with quickness and agility in the route and after catch phases. Capable of breaking off defensive backs with his change of direction. Picks up yards with the ball in his hands, both after the catch and as a punt returner. Quicker than fast, but can turn in some long gains with the ability to make defenders miss in space. Has strong hands at the catch point and can win in traffic. Not physically imposing in terms of his stature or frame. Younger for the class, turning 17-years old in June prior to his senior season.

Parker also ran a 10.89 100-meter track time in the spring.

If Jalen Hale commits elsewhere, Parker seems like a high-floor slot WR prospect that's a no-brainer take if UT can flip him.

 

 

Edited by TheMailBox357

#22458
5 hours ago, The Deuce said:

Do the horns have any chance here?

F670D878-D5D9-4775-81ED-64841641F646.thumb.jpeg.5bc3b05ee5d5d58871861989c5352d21.jpegAB810B52-154F-4885-A6B0-1D9A7FE1321C.thumb.jpeg.40a20d5059b3e0f3f0d05eada9bd3bb4.jpeg

We haven't shown much interest in him, so that'd be the first step 

#22461
14 hours ago, LCHorn said:

My buddy hung out/worked out with him a bunch when he played Leatherface in the Texas Chainsaw remake they shot here about 20 years ago.  His opinion was that it wouldn’t have really mattered what it was made out of because the roids part wasn’t fiction.  
 

He also said Jessica Biel was a smoke show in person but a tiny human.  

I was lucky to hang with Jessica a few times back in the day, who is not a tiny person, but she is a smoke show. Hottest thing? Believe it or not, her skin. The "like porcelain" cliche comes from women like her. Crazy. 

#22462
Just now, mwaadeeb said:

I was lucky to hang with Jessica a few times back in the day, who is not a tiny person, but she is a smoke show. Hottest thing? Believe it or not, her skin. The "like porcelain" cliche comes from women like her. Crazy. 

So you are saying that she has nice skin?

#22463
1 minute ago, Bevo said:

So you are saying that she has nice skin?

Let's just say if you were making a skin suit out of females you've been stalking, hers would definitely be the jacket.

#22464
10 minutes ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Let's just say if you were making a skin suit out of females you've been stalking, hers would definitely be the jacket.

Her buttcheeks would make a fine set of earmuffs.

CHIEF

#22465

Gerry Hamilton

Administrator

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1 minute ago

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On3 Consensus 4-star DL Markis Deal (Garland, Texas/Naaman Forest) will attend the Alabama-Texas game Saturday per a family member. This is an unofficial visit for the 6-foot-4.25, 285-pounder.

OV to Georgia is September 24.

Final OV is likely to Texas, with Oklahoma still trying hard for the OV.

TCU, USC snd Arkansas remain on the list.

#22466
29 minutes ago, mwaadeeb said:

I was lucky to hang with Jessica a few times back in the day, who is not a tiny person, but she is a smoke show. Hottest thing? Believe it or not, her skin. The "like porcelain" cliche comes from women like her. Crazy. 

The Silence of the Lambs': Buffalo Bill's House Now Up for ...

#22470
50 minutes ago, General Specific said:


What about his brother, Rube Goldberg? Maybe he could even engineer a fg/pat!

Not without a few delay of game penalties.

#22473
5 hours ago, Gene Parmesan said:

Let's just say if you were making a skin suit out of females you've been stalking, hers would definitely be the jacket.

if this isnt the post of the week, what are we even doing here?

  • Popular Post
#22476
2 minutes ago, Hank Scorpio said:

Any insider info about how the death of the Queen will impact the class?

 

#22477
5 minutes ago, Hank Scorpio said:

Any insider info about how the death of the Queen will impact the class?

She was the BMD who demanded we start Ewers and fire Mike Stoops on the tarmac. Statue is being commissioned.

Edited by Vertigo

#22478
27 minutes ago, Hank Scorpio said:

Any insider info about how the death of the Queen will impact the class?

She won’t be in it.

#22479

Shook the Mansters hand a million years ago during a radio show at a Tony Romos restaurant in Addison. Can’t remember the host, it was during his playing days. Guess it’s a CSB

#22486
6 hours ago, mwaadeeb said:

I had to settle on a hooker, but it's a really nice jacket.

Would love to have been a mouse, in the corner, when you had to explain the tattoos on your dead hooker jacket.

CHIEF

#22487
4 hours ago, Dilligas said:

Shook the Mansters hand a million years ago during a radio show at a Tony Romos restaurant in Addison. Can’t remember the host, it was during his playing days. Guess it’s a CSB

Tones Romes had a restaurant in the 80s?  he must have been a savvy kid.

#22490
13 hours ago, Dilligas said:

Shook the Mansters hand a million years ago during a radio show at a Tony Romos restaurant in Addison. Can’t remember the host, it was during his playing days. Guess it’s a CSB

had to be Brad Sham, who's aptly named.

Edited by tejas60
double post inside a single post

#22491
15 hours ago, The Gimp said:

She won’t be in it.

The way aggy's class is going so far, they might be tempted to kick the tires.

#22492

Am I remembering correctly that we had a GA as a primary point of contact for Deal recently, or was that Zalance Heard?

#22495
2 hours ago, Vertigo said:

Am I remembering correctly that we had a GA as a primary point of contact for Deal recently, or was that Zalance Heard?

Davis headed up the Heard recruitment at the beginning and Flood was supposed to take over for him once Heard made it to campus this summer, but that never happened.

I don't ever remember a GA being mentioned as being involved for either of those guys.

#22496
15 hours ago, Goodman said:

 

He’s going to be a good one. . If you ever look at the highlights of Jamar Chase or Devontae Smith in highschool of all the WRs Niblett looks the closes to them. .

 

He definitely should be upgraded before he signs here 

#22497
10 minutes ago, D3zii said:

He definitely should be upgraded before he signs here 

And after he signs.  BOMC and such. 

#22500
1 hour ago, D3zii said:

He’s going to be a good one. . If you ever look at the highlights of Jamar Chase or Devontae Smith in highschool of all the WRs Niblett looks the closes to them. .

 

He definitely should be upgraded before he signs here 

Jamarr, DeVonta, high school, closest, all the punctuation... are you a closet OU grad?

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