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Featured Replies

#1

I believe that every kid needs both a mom and a dad.  I heard a story third hand recently which drives home this truth.

A divorced mom of a five year old boy noticed odd behavior in her son after he had spent a weekend with dad.  It was freezing cold, but every few hours the boy would go outside for about five minutes.  She wondered what he was doing.  She discovered that he was pissing off the deck.  It turns out that dad had had a bunch of friends over to drink beer and watch football.  During a break in the action the bathroom was at a premium so, rather than wait, some would piss off the back deck.  The boy thought this was great fun.

My takeaway:  Every five year old boy needs a dad to teach him how to piss off the back deck, and a mom to teach him not to.  I have other stories about things dads and moms should teach.  Do you?

#19
On 9/21/2019 at 4:00 PM, tfoolry said:

9 replies & no reference to SouthAustin’s mom?

Sorry, I was busy pissing on her when this thread started.

#22
On 9/21/2019 at 11:30 AM, PossumHollerKid said:

I believe that every kid needs both a mom and a dad.  I heard a story third hand recently which drives home this truth.

A divorced mom of a five year old boy noticed odd behavior in her son after he had spent a weekend with dad.  It was freezing cold, but every few hours the boy would go outside for about five minutes.  She wondered what he was doing.  She discovered that he was pissing off the deck.  It turns out that dad had had a bunch of friends over to drink beer and watch football.  During a break in the action the bathroom was at a premium so, rather than wait, some would piss off the back deck.  The boy thought this was great fun.

My takeaway:  Every five year old boy needs a dad to teach him how to piss off the back deck, and a mom to teach him not to.  I have other stories about things dads and moms should teach.  Do you?

Friends or court ordered supervision?

#24

Is this the part where someone says Dad taught me to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, while mom said that was wrong and you should break the shit up with the sprayer?

#27
Is this the part where someone says Dad taught me to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, while mom said that was wrong and you should break the shit up with the sprayer?
what about letting the dog eat it?

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#29
11 hours ago, Ten Bears said:

I hear oxygen is important but I don't know. What do you all think?

I would say air pressure.  You can get by for a few minutes without oxygen.  Wrong level of air pressure, up or down, can wipe your ass out in just a few seconds.  

#30
34 minutes ago, housious said:

Wasn’t there a pissing in the backyard thread on shaggy? 

Damn straight. I vaguely remember somebody telling a story of standing in the yard and peeing on the porch. Because, that's why.

#33
18 hours ago, Lobo said:

I would say air pressure.  You can get by for a few minutes without oxygen.  Wrong level of air pressure, up or down, can wipe your ass out in just a few seconds.  

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#35

To be fair, I didn't say "no air pressure", I typed "wrong level of air pressure."  

We are all just pawns man...can't you see?  

#36
On 9/21/2019 at 1:45 PM, SquishMitten said:

I’d say you just made a strong case for why it’s more important to have two dads and zero moms

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#40
On 9/23/2019 at 11:26 AM, ulukinatme said:

Is this the part where someone says Dad taught me to shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain, while mom said that was wrong and you should break the shit up with the sprayer?

I'm pretty sure a Surlist once explained that moms prefer to use knife and fork for more stubborn disposal of goods

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