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The stupidest worst selfish asshole things dumbasses do on the road

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....OK, so I'll resume this shit with the new right turn from the SB Mopac exit ramp to Davis. Tell your friends they don't have to stop any longer when turning right, esp all you folks who are using this exit to avoid the shit at Slaughter. Seems like about 1 out of every 3 cars is still stopping there, backing traffic way up the ramp. 

Texting while driving? I guess primarily anything to do with your phone while you’re driving. 

These motherfuckers on Mopac who are waiting to the last second to decide if they want to get In the toll lane or not. Don’t risk lives because you aren’t sure if you want to spend the money to use it. Makes me ragey as fuck. 

People in a left turn lane, waiting for the light change, face in their phone.  95% of the time I use my horn these days is in this situation to wake up the fucker in front of me not paying attention to the changing light.

People who stop in the middle lane on S. bound 183 trying to squeeze in to the backed up exit only right line to I-35 at the last possible moment.

Let’s be honest here. Very few drivers should actually be allowed to drive.

When you're in the left lane, with no one behind you, and some jackass takes a right off a side street, into the left lane in front of you.

People who tailgate in the middle lane of a freeway when the left lane is open.  

I'm typically 10 over the limit, but I realize some people want to go faster, so I stay in a middle lane until it's time to pass someone.  So if I'm the one you want to pass, have at it dipshit; that's why I'm not in the left lane.  The fact that you're one car length behind me going 75 or 80 tells me that you're not actually in a hurry, you're just too stupid to realize how fucking stupid that is.  You leave me no choice but to take my foot off the gas until you get the point and go around.  Please neuter yourself. 

Getting onto Mopac SB from Lake Austin, there's almost always assholes that are entering Mopac from Cesar Chavez that try to run you off the road. Every time it's a prick getting off at 2244 too. 

2 hours ago, 3adays said:

These motherfuckers on Mopac who are waiting to the last second to decide if they want to get In the toll lane or not. Don’t risk lives because you aren’t sure if you want to spend the money to use it. Makes me ragey as fuck. 

Further, the area right before Palmer is not a free entrance into the final piece of the Mopac toll lane. It's exit only, like your mother's asshole was before I ran through her.

Assholes who jump in front of you from the left lane, only to take an immediate right, thereby forcing you to slam on the brake.

1 hour ago, pacman said:

Further, the area right before PALMER is not a free entrance into the final piece of the Mopac toll lane. It's exit only, like your mother's asshole was before I ran through her.

This is how I know you’re one of the fucking transplants clogging up the highway. 

  • Author
2 hours ago, TexArcher said:

People who tailgate in the middle lane of a freeway when the left lane is open.  

I'm typically 10 over the limit, but I realize some people want to go faster, so I stay in a middle lane until it's time to pass someone.  So if I'm the one you want to pass, have at it dipshit; that's why I'm not in the left lane.  The fact that you're one car length behind me going 75 or 80 tells me that you're not actually in a hurry, you're just too stupid to realize how fucking stupid that is.  You leave me no choice but to take my foot off the gas until you get the point and go around.  Please neuter yourself. 

Yep. This shit. And that stupid fucker behind you is probably also one of the first to stay the left lane, blocking faster traffic.

3 hours ago, Digdogger said:

People who shave their pubes while driving 

 

2 hours ago, EuroHorn said:

Taking a shit out the window 

Don't judge me!

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2 hours ago, GabrielsHorn said:

Getting onto Mopac SB from Lake Austin, there's almost always assholes that are entering Mopac from Cesar Chavez that try to run you off the road. Every time it's a prick getting off at 2244 too. 

The LAB traffic has a yield sign. The CC traffic doesn't. If there's a situation where the two cars are side-by-side there, the LAB traffic should be changing speeds to get out of the way, not the CC traffic. It's amazing how often they'll just act like you have to get out of their way though.

6 hours ago, GhostRider said:

People who stop in the middle lane on S. bound 183 trying to squeeze in to the backed up exit only right line to I-35 at the last possible moment.

This one is terrible. Two lanes of 183 are clogged up much of rush hour because of these dicks.

12 hours ago, Digdogger said:

People who shave their pubes while driving 

If it is a chick (even a phatty), I think I might be distracted to look over... O.o

Here's a list of *terarded [being politically correct] drivers in situations of road rage and car crashes from this last March, 2018...

 

People in a left turn lane, waiting for the light change, face in their phone.  95% of the time I use my horn these days is in this situation to wake up the fucker in front of me not paying attention to the changing light.

Came here to post exactly this.
11 hours ago, 3adays said:

This is how I know you’re one of the fucking transplants clogging up the highway. 

Strong to quite strong.

10 hours ago, wood said:

The LAB traffic has a yield sign. The CC traffic doesn't. If there's a situation where the two cars are side-by-side there, the LAB traffic should be changing speeds to get out of the way, not the CC traffic. It's amazing how often they'll just act like you have to get out of their way though.

Except most of the time, it's people from CC that are speeding up to get stuck in traffic at the bridge. It's a dick thing to do regardless as most of the people are trying to zipper merge. 

e: And that's not the only place that CC drivers are dicks. Getting onto Mopac NB from 6th, I've also been almost run off the road and given no space to merge onto Mopac. The problem is worse now that the merging lane is shorter than before the toll lane 

Edited by GabrielsHorn

4:51 of that video above is in Austin. Looking north on Village Center Drive @ Far West.

My MoPac pet peeve is dweebs trying to immediately merge onto the highway from an entrance lane, causing even more traffic congestion behind them, instead of driving further ahead on the entrance lane closer to the merge point.  Learn how to zipper merge you fucksticks.

1 minute ago, GhostRider said:

WTF?  Maybe there was a snek in the car.

More like a certified letter. 

Well, there are a lot of them, but one that comes to mind after reading this is that there's always some asshole on a highway (183, MoPac, 35, Ben White, etc.) that for some stupid fucking reason feels he has to pass you before swerving 3 lanes to the right to get off at the exit.  Instead of slowing down and just gradually changing over into the right (exit) lane, they seem to think that their fortunes depend upon getting in front of you then veering over in an almost 90° angle.  GFY.

New Mexico left turn, where you initially get in the left turn-only lane, but then drift back to the right to take up part of two lanes now as part of a nice, leisurely, looping arc of a left turn.

 

 

 

  • Author
2 hours ago, GabrielsHorn said:

Except most of the time, it's people from CC that are speeding up to get stuck in traffic at the bridge. It's a dick thing to do regardless as most of the people are trying to zipper merge. 

Zipper merging is great & that's what I always do in traffic. I'm not talking about when traffic is backed up though. I'm talking about any other time, when I'm going a normal speed and the people coming on from the right off of the LAB on ramp simply just won't yield. Then they look at me all crazy when I don't yield to them. Happens about 2/3 of the time I go through there. It's nuts. Multiple times there I've almost been run into the wall when I was right beside them or even slightly ahead the whole way.

Edited by wood

16 hours ago, Deej said:

When you're in the left lane, with no one behind you, and some jackass takes a right off a side street, into the left lane in front of you.

This. Drives. Me. F'ing. Insane. It's like they're just trying to give you a giant middle finger for no apparent reason.

 

 

 

 

3 hours ago, South Austin said:

My MoPac pet peeve is dweebs trying to immediately merge onto the highway from an entrance lane, causing even more traffic congestion behind them, instead of driving further ahead on the entrance lane closer to the merge point.  Learn how to zipper merge you fucksticks.

When a zipper merge is upcoming and one lane is backed up and the other isn't and some dumbfuck in the backed up lane tries to force you off the road for using the clear lane because he's the idiot who got into the backed up lane and is jealous that you didn't.  

1 minute ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

When a zipper merge is upcoming and one lane is backed up and the other isn't and some dumbfuck in the backed up lane tries to force you off the road for using the clear lane because he's the idiot who got into the backed up lane and is jealous that you didn't.  

This is when murder should be legal.

People on a freeway that use an exit only lane to pass cars and immediately get back in a non-exit only lane. 

Eyes buried deep in their cell phone while driving or stopped at a red light. 

Women applying makeup while driving.  Get up 10 fucking minutes earlier.

Edited by pearlandhorn

1 hour ago, pearlandhorn said:

People on a freeway that use an exit only lane to pass cars and immediately get back in a non-exit only lane.

I don't see the problem here.  That's just maximizing the use of the road.  If I'm entering the freeway and that entry lane is eventually an exit only lane why does it matter to you if I merge immediately or further down the road?

 

Same here.  Using the exit lane as a passing lane doesn't bother me.  I'll do it if the guy in front of me can't even drive as fast as the speed limit.

  • Author

Yeah as long as the lane is long enough and I have plenty of room up ahead to merge back in without fucking someone else over, I see no problem with it. 

When that short green light is a go on a left turn you better damn well be on the gas so i can make the light.

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That whole thing with people (mostly chicks) who have their noses in their phones at every stop light ... that shit has hit epidemic levels. At practically every stoplight now there's at least one of these dipshits in front of me, slowing everyone down. Getting away from a light has become such a beating. It just blows my mind that otherwise seemingly intelligent people are so easily addicted that they can't put down their got damn phone for a little while and just drive the motherfucking car.

 Extreme case of something mentioned above: 

When i’m trying to merge onto 183s in the morning at Anderson Sqare with my blinker on and some asshole speeds up to pass me, keeping me from merging on, only to cut in front of me so he can wait in the mile long line of cars waiting to exit to 35.

Basically anything my wife does. 

And anything a minivan driver does. 

Driving on 2 or 3 lane in-city streets where the speed limit usually doesn’t exceed 35 mph, you’re in the middle lane, and some jackass - almost always a woman - is slightly ahead of you and in a lane to the left or right and begins to execute a turn. They move slightly into your lane to better execute a turn they could easily execute normally.  And they’re utterly obliviously to the fact that you almost rear ended them. 

This and drivers camping out and going the speed limit in the left lane not passing anyone are my biggest pet peeves. 

People who stay in the right lane at a two or three lane stop light when they could have easily moved left to continue going straight. It's just inconsiderate  driving. I will move left even when it puts me 4 or 5 more cars away from the light. "The horror!! I must get as close to light as possible." Get out of the way of people making a right if you can. Right turn on red in Texas asshole!!!

On 4/5/2018 at 3:14 PM, wood said:

....OK, so I'll resume this shit with the new right turn from the SB Mopac exit ramp to Davis. Tell your friends they don't have to stop any longer when turning right, esp all you folks who are using this exit to avoid the shit at Slaughter. Seems like about 1 out of every 3 cars is still stopping there, backing traffic way up the ramp. 

I did this yesterday (stopping). First time through there with the new change. Won't do it again. I promise. Just wanted to be honest and fess up.

People who stay in the right lane at a two or three lane stop light when they could have easily moved left to continue going straight. It's just inconsiderate  driving. I will move left even when it puts me 4 or 5 more cars away from the light. "The horror!! I must get as close to light as possible." Get out of the way of people making a right if you can. Right turn on red in Texas asshole!!!


What if my right is directly after the light.
1 minute ago, Celery Man said:

 


What if my right is directly after the light.

 

Come to Surly and brag about your relationship with Bill Powers and remind everyone you're from Chicago where the real Highland Park is.

25 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

 


What if my right is directly after the light.

 

After you go through the light you can easily get over and make your right because most of the people in the right hand lane have turned right at the light. Even a few guys in the right hand lane going straight get held up by the guys turning right that makes nice easy gaps. Usually the way it works for me. 

In heavy traffic times of the day it may not be possible to get over but I have seen people sit in the right hand lane when there is no reason. Particularly at lights of intersections at underpasses of major highways. There is no right immediately after the light unless you want to run up the feeder road the wrong way.

My main bitch is  just try and be aware. Try and be considerate to other drivers if at all possible. 

  • Author
1 hour ago, Steel Shank said:

I did this yesterday (stopping). First time through there with the new change. Won't do it again. I promise. Just wanted to be honest and fess up.

I always knew you were a straight shooter... 

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