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Featured Replies

1 minute ago, Bevo said:

If you want to die, I guess that is a good plan. I think in retrospect I should have called the cops and hid with a gun in a locked bathroom.

Are you a cop?  You have to say if you are. 

Just now, Pato del Muerto said:

Are you a cop?  You have to say if you are. 

The problem I'm seeing is that you don't mind being a dead duck.

5 minutes ago, Bevo said:

If you want to die, I guess that is a good plan. I think in retrospect I should have called the cops and hid with a gun in a locked bathroom.

Not at all the case.

I've thought that someone was at our door (long ago).  I had a shotgun, took a position of cover around a corner, kept the gun pointed at the door, hollered "who's there," and waited.  Anyone who came through that door was toast, and I was pretty well shielded from fire.

Nobody was there.  Nothing happened.  Which is almost always the case.

And look, if someone is actually busting through your door in the middle of the night, that's definitely a different dynamic.  A possible threat is making violent entry.  Your time to make a decision is getting very compressed.  Your options are thus limited, so shooting becomes a more supportable choice.

But as long as I've got a door between a possible threat and me, and I have a position of cover, I'm good all night long.

  • Author

the arguments are about what i expected.  shit like this is mind blowing to those who aren't from or live in the US.   the son in law probably did this because in the rest of the civilized world, getting shot is not even on the list of options of outcomes.  i guess it's the son in laws fault for forgetting we are not civilized.

4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Maybe.....and I'm just taking a flyer here....how Americans think about and use firearms is totally fucked up.

It was Florida...

24 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

the arguments are about what i expected.  shit like this is mind blowing to those who aren't from or live in the US.   the son in law probably did this because in the rest of the civilized world, getting shot is not even on the list of options of outcomes.  i guess it's the son in laws fault for forgetting we are not civilized.

It was Florida.

4 hours ago, housious said:

That's going to be an awkward thanksgiving dinner

“ Christopher Bergan never had a lick of sense, pass the biscuits please...” 

Few moths ago this cunt was blasting bass out of his POS civic on a Tuesday night in the complex parking lot at 2 am.

I walked out and politely asked him to turn it down, and the cunt grins at me then turns it up to 11.

I tell him I am calling the police then go inside.

As I dial the phone it sounds like my door is getting kicked in, and Luna is staring at it growling for murder. Not barking at all, just ready to pounce. Its like she didnt want him to know she was there.

As fun as it would have been to watch her tear him apart in the hallway, I didnt want to clean up the mess. Plus you can never get rid of the blood stench unless you replace the floors, dry wall, etc.

So I grabbed the Mossberg and racked it right by the door.

Shit got as quiet as South Austins mom when she sees my penis.

Edited by MissingInAction

It was Florida...

Finally someone said it!!! It fucking took long enough.
1). Florida.
2). Florida
3). Father in law is named Dick Dennis.
4). Norwegian SIL who thinks, “Hey, I’m gonna play joke on zee fatjah”.
5). Florida.

Forgot to add that the moral of the story is: If motherfuckers are threatening your ass outside your own home then you tool up, call the po po, then shoot the cunts/let your guard dog do its thing if they breach your home.

Edited by MissingInAction

For those who think the FIL acted reasonably, how common is a murder under these circumstances — the killer banging loudly on a random back door at night, retreating to the bushes, then leaping out with a growl?  I mean, I know it's Florida, but c'mon. 

And if that is a reasonable expectation, why even exit the house gun drawn?  If you think there is a potential deadly threat when you hear banging — enough to pick up your gun — why wouldn't you look out a window, see that nobody is there, and stay inside to see if the person comes back? 

The FIL was obviously looking for an armed confrontation.

5 hours ago, Asithappens said:

Bullshit.

Was it a dumb thing to do? Sure.

Did he deserve to get shot? No.

America really is fucked up when it comes to guns.

The Holy Shit thread is full of people doing dumb things that might result in their death, and when it does, we call for a Darwin Award. This isn’t that much different, really.

And no one says they “deserve” to die. 

Edited by ImissWallyPryor

The dipshit created a situation favorable to his demise out of ignorance to his environment.

Like my drunk ass going into a biker bar at 2 am in butt fuck Georgia because I thought it would be fun.

 

Edited by MissingInAction

58 minutes ago, Mojo Hand said:

 

The FIL was obviously looking for an armed confrontation.

That may very well be, but the reaction on here, "Americans and their fucking guns" is a bit out of place, don't you think?

This shit would happen all of the time if everyone was...um...loose cannons.

Today, I learned Surly posters are a bunch of quivering cowards who see every unexpected occurrence as an existential threat and are, thus, "at-the-ready" to eviscerate any perceived threat as if it were armageddon.

It's absolutely insane how we conduct ourselves in this country. As was pointed out upthread, folks from civilized societies don't act like they're living in some thunderdome hellscape fighting for their lives at all times.

Get a goddamn grip, or move to a better neighborhood. And quit watching local news that tells you you're washing machine will strangle you with a pair of twisted wet jeans.

Good grief.

It wasn't just Florida, It was the Florida Panhandle. Created to shelter those who could not handle the level of civilization demanded by Alabama.

Axe me how I know.

8 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

You've clearly never been attacked by a werewolf.  

imagine an armed werewolf 

i am sure the norkways are having a field day with this one

americans, cowards and guns. it can be all of them you know. 

fine lines everywhere. sure. and in america fine lines can lead to murder. not a good look. soon when you land there in customs there will have to be a PSA to all foreigners arriving from countries lacking americans, guns and cowards. DON'T PLAY FOOTSIE WITH THE LOCALS. they will shoot you and everyone you have thought about today.

 

imagine an armed werewolf 

You shut your fucking mouth. Now you’re just talking crazy.

Right?




Right?

yes and yes. and i goddamn rep'ed both posts

Edited by staboner

42 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Today, I learned Surly posters are a bunch of quivering cowards who see every unexpected occurrence as an existential threat and are, thus, "at-the-ready" to eviscerate any perceived threat as if it were armageddon.

It's absolutely insane how we conduct ourselves in this country. As was pointed out upthread, folks from civilized societies don't act like they're living in some thunderdome hellscape fighting for their lives at all times.

Get a goddamn grip, or move to a better neighborhood. And quit watching local news that tells you you're washing machine will strangle you with a pair of twisted wet jeans.

Good grief.

I'm a washing machine?  I'm a washing machine!?!

4 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Shit got as quiet as South Austins mom when she sees my penis.

 

8 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

...consequences are a whole lot more serious than if I forget to check on the bacon I'm cooking (dammit, burned four pieces last Sunday, and I'm still bitter).

So your judgement is already suspect. How am I to take anything you say seriously? Huh? 

 

Huh?

2 hours ago, bolverk said:

Today, I learned Surly posters are a bunch of quivering cowards who see every unexpected occurrence as an existential threat and are, thus, "at-the-ready" to eviscerate any perceived threat as if it were armageddon.

It's absolutely insane how we conduct ourselves in this country. As was pointed out upthread, folks from civilized societies don't act like they're living in some thunderdome hellscape fighting for their lives at all times.

Get a goddamn grip, or move to a better neighborhood. And quit watching local news that tells you you're washing machine will strangle you with a pair of twisted wet jeans.

Good grief.

Today, I learned that Bolverk is a hyperbole queen. 

13 hours ago, Bevo said:

but if it was a real intruder, I would have been dead.

Maybe not.

But you do you.

5 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Today, I learned that Bolverk is a hyperbole queen. 

It's the hyperbolic message of "shoot first, ask questions later" and "castle doctrine" attitude along with "the world is a scary place" mindset with an added dash of "kill 'em all, let god sort 'em out" tough guy "I've got a gun" bullshit self-righteousness that led to this kid, who was from a place where folks aren't scared of their own shadow, getting killed.

13 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

The dipshit created a situation favorable to his demise out of ignorance to his environment.

Like my drunk ass going into a biker bar at 2 am in butt fuck Georgia because I thought it would be fun.

 

Does the Poodle Dog Lounge count? Billy Gibbons looking dude missing his 4 front teeth, tells me in my Polo that I'm as ugly as a mud hen.

My friends and family know me well enough not to jump out of the bushes at midnight to “surprise” me. 

2 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Reagan-Mondale-debate-There-you-go-again

 

Sorry for your PTSD. Watch out for those exploding balloons.

7 hours ago, Asithappens said:

Maybe not.

But you do you.

What’s option B? Listen to a message board full of idiots?

7 hours ago, bolverk said:

It's the hyperbolic message of "shoot first, ask questions later" and "castle doctrine" attitude along with "the world is a scary place" mindset with an added dash of "kill 'em all, let god sort 'em out" tough guy "I've got a gun" bullshit self-righteousness that led to this kid, who was from a place where folks aren't scared of their own shadow, getting killed.

Are people not allowed to be scared? 

1 minute ago, workswithseed said:

Are people not allowed to be scared? 

Sure. But people aren't allowed to murder others because they're pussies with a gun.

2 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Sure. But people aren't allowed to murder others because they're pussies with a gun.

Murder

the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another. 

It wasn't unlawful by definition.

18 minutes ago, workswithseed said:

Murder

the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another. 

It wasn't unlawful by definition.

Do you think God makes such a distinction in the destruction of an innocent life?

45 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Do you think God makes such a distinction in the destruction of an innocent life?

Should our legal definitions be controlled by God?

 

2 hours ago, bolverk said:

Sure. But people aren't allowed to murder others because they're pussies with a gun.

That's exclusively for cops, amirite?

1 hour ago, thestud said:

 

 


Who are you to call anyone a pussy? Didn’t you get your ass kicked by a refrigerator?

 

 

Savage!

1 hour ago, thestud said:

 

 


Who are you to call anyone a pussy? Didn’t you get your ass kicked by a refrigerator?

 

 

Yup. The refrigerator kicked my ass when I was a total drunkard. The salt and pepper shakers only added to it.

49 minutes ago, workswithseed said:

Should our legal definitions be controlled by God?

 

You tell me. Do you believe the God of the New Testament would be okay with killing a human because you were surprised?

That's my issue. The facile, nonchalant attitude of killing a human being that's being expressed here.

There's nothing funny here. It's a horrible tragedy that's being excused by far too many posters.

44 minutes ago, bolverk said:

Yup. The refrigerator kicked my ass when I was a total drunkard. The salt and pepper shakers only added to it.

You tell me. Do you believe the God of the New Testament would be okay with killing a human because you were surprised?

That's my issue. The facile, nonchalant attitude of killing a human being that's being expressed here.

There's nothing funny here. It's a horrible tragedy that's being excused by far too many posters.

I mean What does it matter what I think, by definition it's not murder. Do you believe in God and think that it was murder cause of that?

Do you think should happen? Should the father be put death cause of his "murder"?

Florida dumbassery +gun > Norwegian dumbassery without gun.   Hopefully the old mans poor decision-making skills keep him awake it night but I won’t bet on it.  At least the dead guy will sleep well.  

10 hours ago, workswithseed said:

Should our legal definitions be controlled by God?

 

imagine if god was fucking armed 

then what?

just don't scare him is what you are saying. thats cool. or her. whatever you are into. 

Edited by staboner

7 minutes ago, staboner said:

imagine if god was fucking armed 

then what?

just don't scare him is what you are saying. thats cool. or her. whatever you are into. 

I mean he is armed. How do you think he destroyed two cities?

17 hours ago, bolverk said:

Sure. But people aren't allowed to murder others because they're pussies with a gun.

 

False, please re-read OP

6 hours ago, immortal13 said:

Well this thread has been cloak roomed

That happened as soon as brisket inserted himself into the situation.  It was like a bat signal for all the douchebags to show up.  I guess they’ve grown tired of jerking each other off in that sub forum and have decided to pollute the others with their inane drivel.

18 hours ago, workswithseed said:

Murder

the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another. 

It wasn't unlawful by definition.

Yeah, we get the difference in definition.

It used to be "thou shalt not kill", or at least that's what I was taught.

 

2 hours ago, Asithappens said:

Yeah, we get the difference in definition.

It used to be "thou shalt not kill", or at least that's what I was taught.

 

Yeah, and?

Filing this one away in case my daughter eventually marries some dipshit.

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