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Lincoln Riley clubs puppies, hates America, and says the SEC is underrated

Featured Replies

Lincoln: 

1.  wipes from back to front

2. leaves his shopping cart behind your car

3. Fingers the mashed potatoes before dinner is served and licks his fingers before grabbing the serving spoon all while right ahead of you in line at the Golden Coral

4. Turns off the AC for those in the back seat because he's cold from having the AC on full blast because he took the front seat.  

 

Lincoln Riley prefers the old targeting penalty system, and as many video replays as possible.

Lincoln Riley thinks there need to be more rules to protect quarterbacks.

Lincoln Riley thinks Bob Stoops' quadruple chin is sexy as fuck.

Lincoln Riley sits in the right turn lane at red lights on his bicycle even when there's a god damned bicycle lane right fucking there.

Lincoln Riley thinks Subway's new brisket sandwich is miles better than Franklin.

  • Author

Lincoln Riley pays with change and coupons in the express lane.

4 minutes ago, Mikey4 said:

Lincoln Riley pays with a check and coupons in the express lane.

Fify

Lincoln Riley is besties with Kevin Morgan.

Lincoln Riley eats jades chili

Lincoln Riley thinks that B12 officiating is the best in the NCAA.

Is not 40. Does not like to shit with the door open, talk about pussy, go on riverboat gambling trips, or make his own beef jerky.

1 hour ago, Girdwood said:

Lincoln Riley has a tramp stamp

Fify

Lincoln Riley doesn't know how to change a flat tire.

Lincoln Riley thinks Metallica got better after they cut their hair and slowed things down.

Lincoln Riley's favorite movie is The Notebook.

Lincoln Riley thinks smaller boobs are better.

Lincoln Riley empties his RV holding tank in the storm drain in front of your house, wearing only a sooner red hat and bathrobe.

18 minutes ago, DeweyCox said:

Is not 40. Does not like to shit with the door open, talk about pussy, go on riverboat gambling trips, or make his own beef jerky.

That's not what he does

1 minute ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Lincoln Riley empties his RV holding tank in the storm drain in front of your house, wearing only a sooner red hat and bathrobe.

Even if the shitter's not full

Lincoln Riley has dedicated 100% prep time to stopping the left tackle screen.

Lincoln Riley squats to peer because just sitting down is too much toxic masculinity. 

Lincoln Riley thinks Saturdays in the fall are the best time to get married

Lincoln Riley thinks Cincinnati "chili" is the best in the world.

Lincoln Riley thinks Diehard 2 is the best one in the series


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Lincoln Riley is a fucking piece of shit and I hate him.  He is a very very bad person and he should feel bad!

Lincoln Riley scheduled ACL on the same day as the RRSO.

Lincoln Riley thinks Tacos are overrated.

Lincoln Riley thinks there is no homeless crisis in Austin.

Lincoln Riley prefers group texts.

Lincoln Riley thinks scooters are the future of transportation.

Lincoln Riley thinks Jar Jar Binks is the best Star Wars character.

Lincoln Riley prefers Dickey's BBQ.

Lincoln Riley wears skinny jeans. 

Lincoln Riley thinks this thread is funny.

Lincoln Riley prefers the Dyson airblade hand dryer to regular paper towels in public bathrooms.

Lincoln Riley eats NY pizza with a proper fork and knife.
Lincoln Riley rats out his friends to their wives after a night of getting fucked up and flirting with randoms.
Lincoln Riley sneaks in flasks on $1 shot nights(still a thing in Methahoma).

That’s all I got.

7 hours ago, Girdwood said:

Lincoln Riley has a stomach tat

That’s not smack talk. It’s just the truth. 

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