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Lincoln Riley clubs puppies, hates America, and says the SEC is underrated

Featured Replies

#153

Lincoln Riley still locks himself in his room, with the radio on loud.
Lincoln Riley is about as important as a white crayon.
I love the sound Lincoln Riley makes when he shuts up.
Lincoln Riley changed his mind recently, but no one knows what he did with the diaper.
Lincoln Riley decided to add some variety to his sex life by changing hands.
Lincoln Riley is nobody's fool, but maybe someday someone will adopt him.

#154

Lincoln Riley enjoys his DirecTV service and will indeed not fuck them in the goatass.

#155

Lincoln Riley won't turn right on red.

Lincoln Riley was glad when they closed Liberty Lunch.

Lincoln Riley orders french fries at Torchy's.

Lincoln Riley thought Godfather 3 was the best one.

Lincoln Riley asks if somebody has "a case of the Mondays."

#156

When Lincoln Riley comes to Austin he makes sure to hit up his favorite BBQ joints, Bill Miller and Dickie’s.

Lincoln Riley will always love Nickelback’s early stuff, but he LIVES for the new material

#164

Lincoln Riley got a concealed carry permit, but then cried when he realized it did not cover remote controlled dildos. 

#165

Iphone news feed today was that he is prohibiting the players from doing the horns-down thing this weekend.  Didn't want them to get a 15-yard penalty.

#166
2 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Iphone news feed today was that he is prohibiting the players from doing the horns-down thing this weekend.  Didn't want them to get a 15-yard penalty.

LR hates fuckers who do the horns down!!

/nothowthisworks

#170

Lincoln Riley thinks all WindStar craps tables should increase the ante from $1 to $10 for anyone with a Texas ID.

 

 

 

Lincoln Riley thinks his threesome with fitlump and darian the barbarian should be live streamed to tens of thousands of filipinos from bachman’s house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

#173
5 hours ago, Thermos H. Christ said:

Lincoln Riley literally cannot and does not believe it’s not butter

Just want you all to know I'm still smiling at my own joke hours later

#174

When Lincoln Riley has finished consuming his beverage, he leaves the dirty cup in the sink even though THE DISHWASHER IS RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO HIM

#175

Lincoln Riley never tips more than 7%.

Lincoln Riley wears argyle socks with pinstripe suits.

Lincoln Riley buys rechargeable batteries and then throws them away after a single use.

#179

Lincoln Riley leans his seat back on commuter flights, immediately cuts past people when deplaning, and uses the max cologne so he doesnt have to bathe before getting on the plane. And why do you need deodorant when you have Axe body spray? Bathing irritates his scalp so he does it has sparingly as possible. Body spray has been a Godsend.

#182

Lincoln Riley loudly explains the theory behind  football after every play in the stands at a Texas Football game when everyone around him grew up in Texas.  He then makes fun of the drunk guy who just can’t take it anymore and tells him to shut the fuck up.

Edited by kegman

#184

Lincoln Riley's childhood action hero was Johnny Wadd.

Lincoln Riley can't eat just one.

Lincoln Riley watched Cool Hand Luke and thinks Luke got what he deserved.  

Lincoln Riley would walk a mile for a camel.  

#185
5 hours ago, lemonandaturd said:

Lincoln Riley watched Cool Hand Luke and thinks Luke got what he deserved.  

Now you've crossed the line.

#187

Lincoln Riley marinates his brisket in French dressing.

Lincoln Riley rubs his brisket in Butterfingers.

#191

Lincoln Riley invested in a company that manufactures artificial darkness.
Lincoln Riley bought his own personal helicopter, and installed an ejector seat.
Lincoln Riley cut out the toes of his neon pink Wellington boots because he thinks it looks stylish.

#192

Lincoln Riley leaves half drank glasses all over the house.

Lincoln Riley leaves his trash piled up next to the trash can.

Lincoln Riley sweeps his kitchen floor and leave the pile in the corner.

#194

Lincoln Riley takes 11 items in the express line at the grocery store.

Lincoln Riley was friends with TXTow

Lincoln Riley parks his Suburu in 2 parking spaces.

 

#196

I’m told that McConaughey called an early meet with the team and is about halfway thru the reading of this list. They’re pissed! Cosmi ripped a locker off the wall and flushed it down the toilet. Needless to say, but, looks like ol Lincoln is about to have a case of the Monday’s. 

  • 3 years later...
#198

Implies Condom's loss was caused by poor officiating.  Are you kidding me -- Utes were getting screwed by Refs all night long... 😂😂😂😂

Z93BCG.gif

#200

The audio in background has the Utah team cheering in the Utah lockeroom... Lincoln and his players are not happy about this situation...  😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Y'all need to beat their asses @Sbbruin

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