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Lincoln Riley clubs puppies, hates America, and says the SEC is underrated

Featured Replies

Turds on Disney Sports talcombout horns down fuck off blowU do it every play we don't care

`Lincoln Riley chose Anwar Richardson to be his media mouthpiece

 

Lincoln Riley loves Pantyhose and Aqua-Net.
Lincoln Riley loves smoking menthol cigarettes.
Lincoln Riley loves to tango in the street and eats only dark meat.

Lincoln Riley loves to dance to techno sounds in his buster browns.

Lincoln Riley is a Yono Oker.

Biddley bah boo, biddley bah boo, biddley bah boo, smoke !
 

 

 

 

 

 

Lincoln Riley spends hours ogling the cedar trivets, soy candles, and the chic cheeseboards at Crate and Barrel.
Lincoln Riley is horrified by the sequined crop-tops he used to wear when he was 19 years old.
Lincoln Riley's personal e-mail inbox is categorized and neatly organized.
Lincoln Riley describes getting a Frappuccino as “naughty.
Lincoln Riley goes to the same three restaurants over and over.
Lincoln Riley would order spicy food off the menu, but he forgot his TUMS.
 

Lincoln Riley thinks In N Out is better than Whataburger

 

Lincoln Riley’s favorite cinematic characters are Ike Clanton from Tombstone, Bernie from Miller’s Crossing, and Corporal Upham from Saving Private Ryan.

Lincoln Riley fast forwards thru all the scenes in Monster’s Ball with Halle Berry to get to the good parts with Peter Boyle.

Lincoln Riley keeps undersized fish.

Lincoln Riley keeps and eats hard-heads.

Lincoln Riley posts videos of his mom, his sister, and him on pornhub.

Lincoln Riley thinks that Reveille is the best mascot in college football.

Lincoln Riley thinks Dave Chappelle should mind his own damned business.

Lincoln Riley prefers his tuna salad on a bed of lettuce.

Lincoln Riley's dog thinks he's a douche.

Lincoln Riley chews tobacco - but only when he's having sex.

 

Lincoln Riley prefers Kansas City BBQ to Texas BBQ.

Lincoln Riley poops in his shower and bathes in his toilet.

Lincoln Riley went to Mardi Gras and got some great video, but he pixelated the boobies out before he shared them.

Lincoln Riley tears mattress tags off hotel mattresses.

Lincoln Riley thinks Parkay is better than butter.

Lincoln  Riley sends valentines to Paul Finebaum and Kirk Herpstreet.

 

Lincoln Riley gets more dick drunk than South Austin’s mom.






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Lincoln Riley listens to the wind rustling the autumn leaves, and whispers, "Lowenstein! Lowenstein!"

Lincoln Riley thinks Gary Cherone was Van Halen's best frontman.

27 minutes ago, lemonandaturd said:

June Carter Johnny  Cash thought Lincoln Riley was a pussy.  

FIFY

Lincoln Riley wants to cuddle with Louie Anderson

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Lincoln Riley inspires his players with Facebook life advice from Cutthroat Chip: The King of Houston.

On 10/7/2019 at 1:04 PM, 54_Strat said:

Lincoln Riley cooks his brisket in the oven

While it soaks in a turkey pan full of liquid smoke.

Edited by MissingInAction

Lincoln Riley was a virgin when he married.  On his honeymoon, he was shocked when he saw the size of his wife's pecker.  

Edited by lemonandaturd

Lincoln chews bubblegum then places it on the underside of restaurant tables and chairs.

Lincoln Riley flushes wipes down the toilet in hopes of stopping up the local sewer system

Lincoln Riley is responsible for Austin traffic.

 

Lincoln Riley plays Tiny Tim albums 247 in the locker room. 

Lincoln Riley whitewashed the Mona Lisa and yelled "Now paint me like one of your french girls!"

Lincoln Riley failed to cast the One Ring into the fires of Mt Doom, thinking he would have the willpower to weaponize its evil. It eventually lead to his ill fate. 

Lincoln Riley has a condition where he incessantly laughs at inappropriate times. He got it checked out by a licensed psychiatrist. Turns out he’s just an asshole.

Chuck Norris slapped Lincoln Riley and then cried because he had never hit a woman before. 

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