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Lincoln Riley clubs puppies, hates America, and says the SEC is underrated

Featured Replies

LR likes Baker Mayfield’s Home Depot commercials.  
 

Is that how this works?

LR loves to drink orange juice after bruising his teeth.   
 

 

 

he also really loves cock. 

- Norm McDonald

Lincoln Riley still locks himself in his room, with the radio on loud.
Lincoln Riley is about as important as a white crayon.
I love the sound Lincoln Riley makes when he shuts up.
Lincoln Riley changed his mind recently, but no one knows what he did with the diaper.
Lincoln Riley decided to add some variety to his sex life by changing hands.
Lincoln Riley is nobody's fool, but maybe someday someone will adopt him.

Lincoln Riley enjoys his DirecTV service and will indeed not fuck them in the goatass.

Lincoln Riley won't turn right on red.

Lincoln Riley was glad when they closed Liberty Lunch.

Lincoln Riley orders french fries at Torchy's.

Lincoln Riley thought Godfather 3 was the best one.

Lincoln Riley asks if somebody has "a case of the Mondays."

When Lincoln Riley comes to Austin he makes sure to hit up his favorite BBQ joints, Bill Miller and Dickie’s.

Lincoln Riley will always love Nickelback’s early stuff, but he LIVES for the new material

Lincoln Riley pulls his pants down to his knees during sex.

Lincoln Riley got so scared watching Twilight that the piss ran all the way down his Dockers and got on his Skechers

Lincoln Riley burns tires full of used plastic dicks on earth day. 

Lincoln Riley got a concealed carry permit, but then cried when he realized it did not cover remote controlled dildos. 

Iphone news feed today was that he is prohibiting the players from doing the horns-down thing this weekend.  Didn't want them to get a 15-yard penalty.

2 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Iphone news feed today was that he is prohibiting the players from doing the horns-down thing this weekend.  Didn't want them to get a 15-yard penalty.

LR hates fuckers who do the horns down!!

/nothowthisworks



`Lincoln Riley chose Anwar Sadat to be his media mouthpiece


OU sucks

Lincoln Riley thinks game of thrones season 8 is the pinnacle of the series

 

 

when yer ridin in yer car
n Lincoln chugs a jar
Diarrhea Diarrhea
cha cha cha

Lincoln Riley thinks all WindStar craps tables should increase the ante from $1 to $10 for anyone with a Texas ID.

 

 

 

Lincoln Riley thinks his threesome with fitlump and darian the barbarian should be live streamed to tens of thousands of filipinos from bachman’s house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

LR-500.gif


Men who never sleep dick up.







Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
5 hours ago, Thermos H. Christ said:

Lincoln Riley literally cannot and does not believe it’s not butter

Just want you all to know I'm still smiling at my own joke hours later

When Lincoln Riley has finished consuming his beverage, he leaves the dirty cup in the sink even though THE DISHWASHER IS RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO HIM

Lincoln Riley never tips more than 7%.

Lincoln Riley wears argyle socks with pinstripe suits.

Lincoln Riley buys rechargeable batteries and then throws them away after a single use.

If pussy looked like Lincoln Riley, I'd eat as much cock as he does. 

Lincoln Riley puts ice cubes in his beer to keep it cold 

Lincoln Riley leans his seat back on commuter flights, immediately cuts past people when deplaning, and uses the max cologne so he doesnt have to bathe before getting on the plane. And why do you need deodorant when you have Axe body spray? Bathing irritates his scalp so he does it has sparingly as possible. Body spray has been a Godsend.

74f60cd9ab14b637f77dd59d9788baf1.jpg

ooly goop ooly goop
neezle neezle farp
Lincoln's chewing gum

f383fc22816bf93541f713aecf7768c3.jpg

Lincoln Riley's favorite food after rancid donkey cock
64b754767d5188554dbacb2cca080bf0.jpg

Lincoln Riley loudly explains the theory behind  football after every play in the stands at a Texas Football game when everyone around him grew up in Texas.  He then makes fun of the drunk guy who just can’t take it anymore and tells him to shut the fuck up.

Edited by kegman

Lincoln Riley's childhood action hero was Johnny Wadd.

Lincoln Riley can't eat just one.

Lincoln Riley watched Cool Hand Luke and thinks Luke got what he deserved.  

Lincoln Riley would walk a mile for a camel.  

5 hours ago, lemonandaturd said:

Lincoln Riley watched Cool Hand Luke and thinks Luke got what he deserved.  

Now you've crossed the line.

Lincoln Riley waits for the green to clear on a par 5 then fucking tops it

Lincoln Riley marinates his brisket in French dressing.

Lincoln Riley rubs his brisket in Butterfingers.

Lincoln Riley invested in a company that manufactures artificial darkness.
Lincoln Riley bought his own personal helicopter, and installed an ejector seat.
Lincoln Riley cut out the toes of his neon pink Wellington boots because he thinks it looks stylish.

Lincoln Riley leaves half drank glasses all over the house.

Lincoln Riley leaves his trash piled up next to the trash can.

Lincoln Riley sweeps his kitchen floor and leave the pile in the corner.

Lincoln Riley cheers for the Texans because he used to be a diehard Oilers fan

Lincoln Riley takes 11 items in the express line at the grocery store.

Lincoln Riley was friends with TXTow

Lincoln Riley parks his Suburu in 2 parking spaces.

 

Lincoln Riley splits face cards. On 3rd base. 

I’m told that McConaughey called an early meet with the team and is about halfway thru the reading of this list. They’re pissed! Cosmi ripped a locker off the wall and flushed it down the toilet. Needless to say, but, looks like ol Lincoln is about to have a case of the Monday’s. 

  • 3 years later...

Implies Condom's loss was caused by poor officiating.  Are you kidding me -- Utes were getting screwed by Refs all night long... 😂😂😂😂

Z93BCG.gif

Yah lost Lincoln... blaming poor officiating

HaHaHaHa 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 

 

The audio in background has the Utah team cheering in the Utah lockeroom... Lincoln and his players are not happy about this situation...  😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Y'all need to beat their asses @Sbbruin

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