Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

So she goes to the nail salon this morning and I take the boy to his soccer game. While I’m watching the game, I get a call from ADT that my house alarm is going off. They ask if they should send a cop. Yeah, sure.

 

So MrsLL gets home. There’s a cop car out front. But she doesn’t see the cop. She goes inside and checks around. Nothing.

 

So she takes the dog out into the back to piss. As soon as she steps outside, she hears “Police—hands up.” About 30’ away, there’s a cop with his gun drawn and pointed at her.

 

Fortunately, she’s white. So she didn’t get shot. But fuck, man—every gun class I’ve ever had told me not to point my weapon at something no didn’t want to die. It’s a good rule. Why the fuck don’t cops follow it?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • Popular Post

You would really have been in the dog house if the cops murdered your wife because you told adt to send them. 

  • Popular Post
14 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

 

So she goes to the nail salon this morning and I take the boy to his soccer game. While I’m watching the game, I get a call from ADT that my house alarm is going off. They ask if they should send a cop. Yeah, sure.

 

So MrsLL gets home. There’s a cop car out front. But she doesn’t see the cop. She goes inside and checks around. Nothing.

 

So she takes the dog out into the back to piss. As soon as she steps outside, she hears “Police—hands up.” About 30’ away, there’s a cop with his gun drawn and pointed at her.

 

Fortunately, she’s white. So she didn’t get shot. But fuck, man—every gun class I’ve ever had told me not to point my weapon at something no didn’t want to die. It’s a good rule. Why the fuck don’t cops follow it?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Sorry your plan didn’t work.

Yeah he didn’t think it through at all. I’m a while woman - whit cop isn’t shooting me.

Scared the shit outta me though. Especially since my 8 year old daughter was just inside the back door.

Adp? Get better security. And I need pics of wife to determine if I pos or neg this thread. 

30 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

She has incredible breasts.

Pics still aren’t loading...  

1 hour ago, Hank Scorpio said:

You would really have been in the dog house if the cops murdered your wife because you told adt to send them. 

Sounds like a great "made for TV" court case murder trial.

  • Author
Sorry your plan didn’t work.

Thank you for your sympathies.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
3 hours ago, SDG said:

Adp? Get better security.

Get a better dog.

3 hours ago, workswithseed said:

Is the dog white too?

spacer.png

I thought this thread would be about whatever amusing things the nail salon ladies said. But of course neither of you have a clue what that was.

Gonna need to know how old the boy is before I judge her for skipping the game to get her nails done. 

8 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

There’s a Walker Railey joke in here somewhere.

Walker "Texas" Railey

 

Must be nice being able to call cops and not worry about them shooting you or your family. Wish I knew what that was like. Oh wait, I did back in Spain. 

 

Sorry your wife had to go through that. One of the worst times of my childhood are guns pointed at me by police. It scares the shit out of you. 

8 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

I thought this thread would be about whatever amusing things the nail salon ladies said. But of course neither of you have a clue what that was.

 

I've had worse. When the cop tells you that you scared the shit out of him and he almost killed you, you know you were close to heaven. I was like, "I scared the shit out of you. I was fucking sleeping".

16 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

She has incredible breasts.

Now I'm really glad she wasn't shot. There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage hers.

Seems like there should be red and blue lights flashing directly in front of the house for these checks.  Like, wouldn't that clear up a lot of confusion, especially at night?  That lady in Fort Worth would likely not square up in the window if the entire block is flashing with red and blue lights.  But, nah, lets park a few houses down and tiptoe through the residence with guns drawn and swing wildly to check corners.   There are handfuls of retired police chiefs that attribute a lot of this nonsense on the "us vs. them, occupying force style training."  

All that aside, glad Mrs. LL didn't have her torso riddled with bullets.  Imagine the emotional destruction of having to process that and then watching that Kansas game.

DPS trooper pointed his .357 at me in 1968. 
The bore looked like a 155mm howitzer.

Where you went wrong was sending her to get her nails done. She should have gone to get a facial (no not that kind). And they

should have told her to keep the black face on until after she got home. 

There is no way I'm putting my hands up in that scenario. If I let go of the doberman he's going to either kill the cop or get killed by him. Guess I'll just die. Thanks ADT.

On 10/20/2019 at 7:26 AM, Ghost of LL said:

 

So she goes to the nail salon this morning and I take the boy to his soccer game. While I’m watching the game, I get a call from ADT that my house alarm is going off. They ask if they should send a cop. Yeah, sure.

 

So MrsLL gets home. There’s a cop car out front. But she doesn’t see the cop. She goes inside and checks around. Nothing.

 

So she takes the dog out into the back to piss. As soon as she steps outside, she hears “Police—hands up.” About 30’ away, there’s a cop with his gun drawn and pointed at her.

 

Fortunately, she’s white. So she didn’t get shot. But fuck, man—every gun class I’ve ever had told me not to point my weapon at something no didn’t want to die. It’s a good rule. Why the fuck don’t cops follow it?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Sorry to read this but happy of course that nothing horrible happened. Seems like this scenario is definitely one to consider for your overall security thinking

About 3 years back I was in my upstairs home office - looked out the window - and say a policeman up against my tree with his gun pulled up and at his face level or so. I was like WTF. i put the dog into his crate - he was somehow not barking at this which is way odd - and  I gently opened the front door yelling "homeowner" and holy shit there were like 9 of them running around and they were AMPED THE FUCK UP. none of them could clearly tell me WTF was going on. Their adrenaline was raging. Eventually I found out that a car jacker ran around the hood and maybe through my back yard.

if i was back there, my wife, or my dog? well the dog would for sure be dead thats for sure

I quit my security contract at that point. Although not as directly related to the security system issue you just experienced - it still made me think. I'd rather have someone rob my house than have the police show up with me and my family there. So I got some nest cams. $10/month for video storage.

Maybe consider something like that for your next move my man. Good luck

Edited by staboner

never call the cops

  • Author
never call the cops

That’s kind of my take-away. And yeah—I’m rethinking the ADT deal.

It’s sad to say, but I think I probably have a higher likelihood of getting shot by a cop in my home than by an intruder.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
1 hour ago, Armybrat said:

Who ya gonna call?

ghostbusters!

Where are the pics of the incredible tits?

4 minutes ago, sdm said:

Where are the pics of the incredible tits?

I like the old LL who posted tits a lot more.

10 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

So did she fuck the cop or what?

No, they shared a bottle of Chardonnay and then the cop fell into the fire pit. 

Your house is being broken into, the cops are on the way, and you don’t text your wife about it?   How was the weekend after she thought this situation through?

side note, imho monitored security does nothing for you except peace of mind.They sold you on peace of mind with zero evidence. If they truly saved people, wouldn’t you think those stories would be highlighted on the commercials? I assume there are a few lucky examples where someone’s life was saved but it’s possible there are zero.

alarm systems themselves are ok. They can wake you up or now it send you a message there is a problem. Then you can decide what to do. Paying ADT to do that is a scam. 

Brings back memories of  the comparison of wife's tits in a dirdnl.    

I don’t understand the timing. She got home, cop was already on scene, she walked into the house and had time to take the dog outside. Where was the cop when she got home? Creeping around the side of your house? Sitting in their car?

I don’t understand the timing. She got home, cop was already on scene, she walked into the house and had time to take the dog outside. Where was the cop when she got home? Creeping around the side of your house? Sitting in their car?

divorce by trigger happy cop.....I like your thinking

Edited by gecko

4 minutes ago, gecko said:

divorce by trigger happy cop.....I like your thinking

Like I stated previously, almost the perfect murder.  Sort of a Horrible Bosses plot.

  • Author
5 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

Your house is being broken into, the cops are on the way, and you don’t text your wife about it?   How was the weekend after she thought this situation through?

side note, imho monitored security does nothing for you except peace of mind.They sold you on peace of mind with zero evidence. If they truly saved people, wouldn’t you think those stories would be highlighted on the commercials? I assume there are a few lucky examples where someone’s life was saved but it’s possible there are zero.

alarm systems themselves are ok. They can wake you up or now it send you a message there is a problem. Then you can decide what to do. Paying ADT to do that is a scam. 

I didn't text her.  I called her and talked to her while she was still at the salon.  So she knew the alarm was going off and that the cops had been called.

26 minutes ago, SquishMitten said:

I don’t understand the timing. She got home, cop was already on scene, she walked into the house and had time to take the dog outside. Where was the cop when she got home? Creeping around the side of your house? Sitting in their car?

When she got home, she saw the cop car down the street.  The alarm was still going off.  So she left our daughter in the car while she went in, turned off the alarm, and checked around the house to make sure everything was ok.

After she was satisfied that there wasn't an intruder in the house, she went back out and got the girl out of the car.  She then let the dog out of his crate to go piss.  So it'd been a few minutes--she either forgot about the cop car or assumed the cop had left.  And since he was hanging out in the backyard, he didn't see her come in.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.