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Tom Herman Is Pressing His Buttcheeks Against Your Mirror & Forcing You To Stare At It

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The only change I feel is necessary on the offensive side of the ball is to cut ties with Mehringer. Beck has a checkered history, but can you justify firing an OC when the team averages 41PPG ? The defense is where the majority of the shit stink is originating from. Orlando, Washington and Naivar should all be dismissed. Giles has coached up some good players in the past, do you blame the d-line coach or the personnel for the lack of production on the d-line this season? Or is it just a schematic issue?

 

Just wanted to report that I tried it. Had to get another mirror from the spare bedroom and prop it up against a wall and then it took some adjusting to get the angle just right but it can be done. It's not pretty. 

- For the number of times it's mentioned that we lost to two top teams by a touchdown each, we beat OK St (after four straight losses) and Kansas by a combined 8 points. 

- If the implication is that we were very close to winning the OU/LSU games, we were even closer to losing the OSU/Kansas games;  we can't consider one without considering the other. 

On 10/23/2019 at 12:09 PM, South Austin said:

By the way, the proper terminology for Herman's action described in the thread title is a "pressed ham." 

"Please don't ask me who taught me the terminology, demo and all ... please, please don't ... "

Quite a thread. I think maybe TreeFiddy meant "rear-view mirror" in which case, Tom's knees are crammed into the space between your dash and windshield, his arms are supporting most of his weight and his head - well we know where that is. You can't see where you've been (the mirror), the blow job is pretty good, so it' a good bet you aren't watching where you're going. Nevertheless, a head-on is in your future. And when he's done, you're gonna need a new rear-view mirror.

The most important game of the season, and not one new wrinkle on offense. Four weeks to practice a decent onside kick - and we got the exact same fucking out of bounds kick. D-backs tackling with their heads only to be carted off the field. We can't fair catch a kickoff without fucking it up. I'd like to at least see some sign that we are learning from our mistakes.

Edited by Irish Wrist Watch

5 hours ago, Ricky Butler said:

Him learning is the best bet because I think Saban is a complete outlier. It's like wanting Belichik as your coach. It's a great idea if he's available, but there is only one. And guess what, they don't changed jobs. It's really too early to lose faith in Herman, and I think it's a little silly and reactionary based on some of the positives so far.

Dabo fired coordinators. Orgeron fired a coordinator. Riley fired a coordinator. The list goes on, and we see one year turnarounds all the time when new coordinators come in. Were they all idiots for not making the right hires initially? Did Orgeron and Riley waste a year of elite defenses and offenses, respectively, by failing to recognize deficient units on their team? I'll quit rambling now.

Belichick sucked as Cleveland coach so sometimes coaches do get better....

9 hours ago, closetojumping said:

RexKramer - you’re posting on a thread I wrote, which implies that you read something. It’s pretty simple - put me on ignore and you won’t have to worry about a thing, and then I will keep not giving one fuck about the thread vomit you bring to this site. 

In fairness to Rex or @Dr. Beeper or whatever, this thread had plenty of vomit before he came along.

On 10/23/2019 at 9:35 AM, closetojumping said:

 

Anywho. Thoughts? 

Just that, when we had just fired a two-year wonder from a mid-tier program who had hired a bunch of third rate assistants, we made up for it by hiring a two-year wonder from a mid-tier program who then hired a bunch of third rate assistants.

I'm wondering why anyone is surprised right now.

I think, unfortunately, Texas has a real problem doing in depth, complex coaching hires. For whatever reason, we tend to go after someone who happens to be shiny at the time, despite no clear indication of sustainable success at our level.

Herman had done a few decent things, mostly surprise two teams OU and FSU as a head coach and be a somewhat competent OC under an offensive HC. Otherwise, he was very raw as a head coach, yet we acted like we were lucky to have him and gave his every demand.

You don't want to money whip the best possible staff Mr Herman? Oh, you do want to throw cash around but only to your friends. Yes sir. Whatever you say. You want to bring on your buddy who was to involved in the rape scandal at Baylor? Oh okay, yes sir.

It's been beyond ridiculous and you can tell what parts of Mack Brown Herman took. There is still time for Herman to figure it out but it's not encouraging that Herman had somehow put together a worse staff than Brown.

CDC seems to be different in regard to hiring, but time will be the judge. He still has to get past the big money donors who have a shit history of offering bad takes on hires.

Edited by pacman

4 minutes ago, pacman said:

I think, unfortunately, Texas has a real problem doing in depth, complex coaching hires. For whatever reason, we tend to go after someone who happens to be shiny at the time, despite no clear indication of sustainable success at our level.

Herman had done a few decent things, mostly surprise two teams OU and FSU as a head coach and be a somewhat competent OC under an offensive HC. Otherwise, he was very raw as a head coach, yet we acted like we were lucky to have him and gave his every demand.

You don't want to money whip the best possible staff Mr Herman? Oh, you do want to throw cash around but only to your friends. Yes sir. Whatever you say. You want to bring on your buddy who was to involved in the rape scandal at Baylor? Oh okay, yes sir.

It's been beyond ridiculous and you can tell what parts of Mack Brown Herman took. There is still time for Herman to figure it out but it's not encouraging that Herman had somehow put together a worse staff than Brown.

CDC seems to be different in regard to hiring, but time will be the judge. He still has to get past the big money donors who have a shit history of offering bad takes on hires.

Out of rep.  I think in addition to three decades of basic indifference to W-L records in the AD, the alumni base remains pretty fractious despite the LHF.  And that means either "non-unified" hiring decisions, or delegation to a neutral Korn-Ferry to try to mitigate the dick measuring contest.

2 hours ago, Fondren & Main said:

That Matt Rhule guy is looking like the next Mack.

Dude is goofy, smock wearing Pedo State alum, but he can coach. 

47 minutes ago, pacman said:

Herman had done a few decent things, mostly surprise two teams OU and FSU as a head coach and be a somewhat competent OC under an offensive HC. Otherwise, he was very raw as a head coach, yet we acted like we were lucky to have him and gave his every demand.

Don't forget his ass kissing of all of our Houston boosters while he was supposed to be coaching at cougar high

40 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Out of rep.  I think in addition to three decades of basic indifference to W-L records in the AD, the alumni base remains pretty fractious despite the LHF.  And that means either "non-unified" hiring decisions, or delegation to a neutral Korn-Ferry to try to mitigate the dick measuring contest.

Augie Garrido is the last time we put our collective dick on the table and hired whomever the fuck we, and every other program in the country, wanted..way back in 199 fucking 7, when I got to UT as an undergrad

Edited by pacman

1 hour ago, pacman said:

It's been beyond ridiculous and you can tell what parts of Mack Brown Herman took.

Mother. Fucking. This. 

Herman needs to be in bunker mode this week. Stating the obvious, but this feels like a big swing game this weekend. Lose, and the heat will be turned up to 100 and our current recruiting class probably becomes really shaky. Win, and you head into an off week at 6-2 and get Sterns, Whittington and Jeff M back for the final stretch. 
 

 

10 hours ago, pacman said:

CDC seems to be different in regard to hiring, but time will be the judge.

Yes. I want to see him do it here. He should have plenty of opportunity. 

I'm sure CDC is starting to sharpen his pencil on the next potential HC. Herman will be around next year no matter what, but it will be make or break as his contract is up after the 2021 season.

16 minutes ago, 6th Street said:

I'm sure CDC is starting to sharpen his pencil on the next potential HC. Herman will be around next year no matter what, but it will be make or break as his contract is up after the 2021 season.

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15 hours ago, Chad said:

The only change I feel is necessary on the offensive side of the ball is to cut ties with Mehringer. Beck has a checkered history, but can you justify firing an OC when the team averages 41PPG ? The defense is where the majority of the shit stink is originating from. Orlando, Washington and Naivar should all be dismissed. Giles has coached up some good players in the past, do you blame the d-line coach or the personnel for the lack of production on the d-line this season? Or is it just a schematic issue?

 

Meekins to off field with Shipley or gone. 

Warehime and Drew.... GONE.

15 hours ago, pacman said:

I think, unfortunately, Texas has a real problem doing in depth, complex coaching hires. For whatever reason, we tend to go after someone who happens to be shiny at the time, despite no clear indication of sustainable success at our level.

Are we really that different than other major programs in this regard? Obviously every fan base would love to duplicate OSU with Tressel>Meyer (and maybe Day) and OU with Stoops>Riley, but that is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Florida struck out on Muschamp and McElwain after Urban quit. I think Mullen will work out, but TBD.

USC struck out on Kiffin, Sark and Helton after Carroll.

Alabama, Notre Dame and Michigan all struck out several times before landing their current coaches (and even Jim isn't working out so great for UM). Tennessee, Miami and numerous others are just LOL.    

20 minutes ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

Are we really that different than other major programs in this regard? Obviously every fan base would love to duplicate OSU with Tressel>Meyer (and maybe Day) and OU with Stoops>Riley, but that is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Florida struck out on Muschamp and McElwain after Urban quit. I think Mullen will work out, but TBD.

USC struck out on Kiffin, Sark and Helton after Carroll.

Alabama, Notre Dame and Michigan all struck out several times before landing their current coaches (and even Jim isn't working out so great for UM). Tennessee, Miami and numerous others are just LOL.    

I think coach hiring is difficult for any institution.  But based on Bleeding Orange (yes by Kunth Bohls), our alumni base is more fractious than average.  Dodds did a lot to sort of heal the rifts, but based on the Brown hire (other alums poised to offer Gary Barnett) and the supposed Saban offers in the last go-round, it's not all that different now than it was then.

24 minutes ago, Reynolds Woodcock said:

Are we really that different than other major programs in this regard? Obviously every fan base would love to duplicate OSU with Tressel>Meyer (and maybe Day) and OU with Stoops>Riley, but that is definitely the exception, not the rule.

Florida struck out on Muschamp and McElwain after Urban quit. I think Mullen will work out, but TBD.

USC struck out on Kiffin, Sark and Helton after Carroll.

Alabama, Notre Dame and Michigan all struck out several times before landing their current coaches (and even Jim isn't working out so great for UM). Tennessee, Miami and numerous others are just LOL.    

Florida was also wondering in the desert between Spurrier and Meyer.

3 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

I think coach hiring is difficult for any institution.  But based on Bleeding Orange (yes by Kunth Bohls), our alumni base is more fractious than average.  Dodds did a lot to sort of heal the rifts, but based on the Brown hire (other alums poised to offer Gary Barnett) and the supposed Saban offers in the last go-round, it's not all that different now than it was then.

Maybe the AD could try to, instead of being a cheap whore all the time, every once in a while telling the BMDs “I make the coaching hires”. If they don’t like it, they can take their millions of dollars to their other alma maters.

A good AD makes the big money donors happy to fork over their dough while being told politely to fuck off with their suggestions.  It seems that might be who we have in CDC.

22 minutes ago, XYZ said:

Florida was also wondering in the desert between Spurrier and Meyer.

spacer.png

18 hours ago, LTtxfan said:

Belichick sucked as Cleveland coach so sometimes coaches do get better....

That just shows how bad Cleveland sucks

Considering where we were just a few years ago with Strong plus a 10 win season last year I think Herman is pretty safe. I also don't think TO is going anywhere. I think we have a lot of assistants that are dead weight on both sides that we could upgrade this off season and improve immensely.  If Herman wants to take that next step he needs to make some hard evals and tough calls. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had to fire friends and it sucks but it is what it is. When you become the boss you have to accept the shit parts also. 

Considering where we were just a few years ago with Strong plus a 10 win season last year I think Herman is pretty safe. I also don't think TO is going anywhere. I think we have a lot of assistants that are dead weight on both sides that we could upgrade this off season and improve immensely.  If Herman wants to take that next step he needs to make some hard evals and tough calls. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has had to fire friends and it sucks but it is what it is. When you become the boss you have to accept the shit parts also. 

I've seen better humblebrags on campus. 6/10.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

2 minutes ago, gmr548 said:


I've seen better humblebrags on campus. 6/10.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk
 

Who was being humble?

What exactly are we staring at again??

59 minutes ago, EZ$ said:

What exactly are we staring at again??

fb2a74efac8a5b27eacc45e3668c4d89.jpg

or

8f67df83f16cbdac4193152c27d0f4d8.jpg

I believe OP wants us to be gruntled about mensa’s swamp ass cheek marks left on the mirror after pressing. That’s just rude behavior.


On 10/24/2019 at 2:18 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

and Herman is right now learning those lessons.

Maybe.

35 minutes ago, Chooky said:

Maybe.

Well... receiving those lessons might have been a better way to say it. As you note, the jury is out on whether he's paying attention.

2 hours ago, The Earl of Texas said:

You really can’t see anything pressed against a mirror.

Depends on where your eyes are located

I feel like he just dragged his buttchecks across my face through the mirror/window.

Ed Orgeron is now 7-1 against top ten teams at LSU.

Life is a mystery.

5 hours ago, Augustus said:

Ed Orgeron is now 7-1 against top ten teams at LSU.

Life is a mystery.

I don't think he even owns a mirror.

I should amend that above post to include (in his last 8 games against Top Ten teams)

I just saw that stat posted by sportswriter on Twitter, haven't verified it.

#8 Miami W 33-17

@#7 Auburn W 22-21

#2 Georgia W 36-16

#1 Alabama L 0-29

#7 UCF W 40-32

@#9 Texas W 45-38

#7 Florida W 42-28

#9 Auburn W 23-20

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