Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Surly Horns

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Featured Replies

  • Popular Post
5 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Well, we have an earlier than expected update. I went to load up the car and one tire is dead flat. Tried putting air in it but it was too punctured to be safe....on goes the spare. Now I’m sitting at discount for the next hour plus. No big deal, it’s still early and we are going to be at the in-laws for days.

Wrong. Church starts at 4:00 today. This, of course, means nothing to me. However, it is insanely important to controlling MIL who has lied about the start time in the past to have us there almost two hours early so that she can have her favorite seat.

Wife will expect me to drive home, change into church clothes, and drive like a bat out of hell to make it to church on time in another city. Does she care about church? Hell no. But go back to my first post. It’s all about appeasing MIL at all costs. If we somehow don’t make it we will get passive aggressive comments and attitude for days. Will at least make for better material on here.

fuck the MIL.

The reaction is her payoff.  I would deny that reward like a mofo, but that's just me.

She should be content that her daughter is fucking safe and will get there eventually.  If that ain't enough, oh fucking well...

I say this as we celebrate our first Christmas without my dear MIL, RIP.  Our boys are in Spain and New Jersey.  It's just me and the ole lady,a nd we already went to Christmas service today.  Cried like a little bitch( me, not her) when we did candle light Silent Night at the end.)  Memories of my MIL, our boys trying to blow out each other's candle when they were kids, and then thinking about how blessed we are with where our boys are in life.  IDGAF if we're not all together.  Just knowing our loved ones are safe and doing well is good enough.

Pisses me off that some never will understand that...

Edited by Iceman

  • Replies 1.1k
  • Views 98.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Most Popular Posts

  • My mother decided Thanksgiving was the perfect time to buy new doors. So, they took the old ones and put them in one of their rent houses. Problem is that they didn’t have time to get the new doors st

  • Larry T. Spider
    Larry T. Spider

    Today is a day that will live in infamy. 5 brave people stood up to a reign of terror than has lasted well over 30 years. The 3 children of MIL decided that no more shit will be taken and the the

  • NeverMarryAStripper
    NeverMarryAStripper

    I’m up at the ranch with my mom, siblings, and all of our extended families. It’s about 30 people in all, just like very year. This year mom finally decided she was too old to be in charge of the co

Posted Images

17 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Heading to the in-laws for three days tomorrow morning. We used to go thanksgiving and Christmas but I have managed to reduce it down. It’s always a minor disaster with some really obnoxious people. Let’s meet the cast of characters so that the play by play will be easier later

spacer.png

29 minutes ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Fuck. I knew it was a trap. Fuck.

FIL and I went out to check deer stands. Wife calls. She’s heading to church (where she will meet her aunt, uncle, and grandpa who are all coming here later) solo. MIL has bailed on church to “make sure everything gets done”.

Here comes the Hail Mary cooking effort. Wish us luck

spacer.png

10 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:


I read that in Morgan Freeman’s voice

I read it in Ricardo Mantalbon’s voice, Fantasy Island opening scene 

Edited by tx 3 putt

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Circle of rocks fire pit.... almost as genius as using a spiral staircase to thwart coyote attacks.

Oooh, I remember something about that.  Was that a Mrs. Brisket story?

BIL is from Misspuri and he heats tortillas in the microwave  while in the original plastic packaging.


Does he not understand what happens to plastic in microwaves?

Wait - he’s from Missouri
1 hour ago, davidg said:

 


Please post up a video when the drunkest fool tries to restart the fire with that can of gasoline in the background.

ER’s are fun places during the holidays.

 

If you want a great time waster, check gas can fire fails on youtube.  Glorious.

I usually volunteer for those runs just so I can get out of the house. Might as well swing by the booze store while you're out.
And stop by a bar for a quick beer.
4 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

 

Showing up, eating, then GTFO.

Leaving early is always the path to freedom 

Edited by tx 3 putt

3 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

I was just sent on an emergency run to Sprouts for butter & flour

Sprouts usually has some high quality white women in yoga pants 

  • Popular Post

I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.

Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.

Merry Christmas everybody.

 

I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.
Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.
Merry Christmas everybody.
 


You gotta just lean into this and report from the other side
10 minutes ago, blacklab said:

In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.

Merry Christmas everybody.

 

This like the Royal Rumble, a new contender running into the ring !!!

12 minutes ago, blacklab said:

I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.

Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.

Merry Christmas everybody.

 

That's fucked up

2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

 


Its a semi legit fire pit. Just had to burn off the pile of leaves and branches that had been raked on top of it

14b66a6c442fec4c03b18432bf1401cc.jpg

 

I see ya got a hollered out log in that thar far.  those rule.

Spoiler

spacer.png

2 hours ago, davidg said:

 


Please post up a video when the drunkest fool tries to restart the fire with that can of gasoline in the background.

ER’s are fun places during the holidays.

 

feh.  a little dab (or six) 'll do ya

Spoiler

spacer.png

spacer.png

 

42 minutes ago, blacklab said:

I thought for sure I wouldn't have anything to add this year with my parents passed away, the in-laws 6000 miles away and us not going anywhere near the crazy part of my family.

Just found out a relative who lives in Chicago decided to come down to Texas despite his sister and parents telling him not to due to his Mom's medical issues. In addition to coming uninvited, at some point in the last day or two his wife left him and ran off with the kids.

Merry Christmas everybody.

 

Got damn, it's amazing how many quality family/wife posts you share.

1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

 


Does he not understand what happens to plastic in microwaves?

Wait - he’s from Missouri

 

This fucker is so fucking stupid I am honestly concerned he may have a brain injury/nohyperbole.

 

Just picked up a variety pack of mini bar sized liqour bottles.

My plan is to leave them laying around their house like claymores then watch the chaos ensue.

Edited by MissingInAction

  • Popular Post

We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

Straight into my veins. This is the good stuff.

Fucking laughing at being lectured over the durability of your dustpan. 

23 minutes ago, Larry T. Spider said:

We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

This is better than Shakespeare. 

33 minutes ago, Larry T. Spider said:

We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

you don't want it solved.

That's fair, but you own part of it too.  License to bitch somewhat restricted.

Sure, we indulge the play-by-play... that is certainly no foul.

Edited by Iceman

1 minute ago, Iceman said:

you don't want it solved.

That's fair, but you own part of it too.  License to bitch somewhat restricted.

Whoa.  This is a judgement free thread

Just now, FartingMonk said:

Whoa.  This is a judgement free thread

sure, but at a certain point, MIL can go fuck herself.  Holy fuck...

I agree with that.  He's not doing it to appease mil though.  He's doing it for wife.  Trading in 5 days of misery to have ammo over wife is worth it

I agree, 

your dustpan sucks, here I bought you a slightly better, but still cheap one.

 

thats some passive aggressive shit right there.  

It’s not my battle to fight with the MIL on this stuff. She won’t fuck with me directly anymore because she knows I will give it right back. That’s why I get passive aggressive presents instead. It’s somewhat nice being able to sit back and watch the show without being involved in it too much. Think of me as a narrator.

Edit: there were some pretty good stories before she learned that I posted on hornfans over 10 years ago.

Edited by Larry T. Spider

  • Popular Post

Life's too short to own a flimsy dustpan. Team MIL.

I cut out gifts many years ago to all adults. Makes life and holidays much easier 

I cut out gifts many years ago to all adults. Makes life and holidays much easier 
We still get gifts for my parents and the in-laws only because they do so much for us during the year. Every other adult can fuck right off.

SIL came over to open presents.

Started bitching about A Christmas Story, "This is the most horrible movie evah..."

Left.  As soon as my wife and I fell asleep on the couch, my wife received a string (beeping) of 6 straight messages.  Guess who?  SIL bitching about receiving a check with her married name still on it.  Their grandmother - who gets easily confused and was recently put into an assisted living center - had the audacity to put the wrong name on a Christmas check.  Fuck's sake.

The bomb.. it dropped ..for me anyway

Bitch ass sister sent me a text with pics of my military records I thought had been lost for the past billion years.

Nothing but a "Hahaha look what I have! " with it

I dont know the story of how she got them yet, but the rage and thoughts of fire bombing her home are growing.... fuck

It looks like my seperation paper work which I had with me when returning.

 

Edited by MissingInAction

15 minutes ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

SIL came over to open presents.

Started bitching about A Christmas Story, "This is the most horrible movie evah..."

Left.  As soon as my wife and I fell asleep on the couch, my wife received a string (beeping) of 6 straight messages.  Guess who?  SIL bitching about receiving a check with her married name still on it.  Their grandmother - who gets easily confused and was recently put into an assisted living center - had the audacity to put the wrong name on a Christmas check.  Fuck's sake.

Good lord. That’s next level.

2 hours ago, FartingMonk said:

  Trading in 5 days of misery to have ammo over wife is worth it

You are not married, to a woman are you?

Edited by Nivek

My family loves to trickle in gifts with no tag and unwrapped.  So we get the fun of playing a guessing game who the sent this and followed by a round of who is it for?   

Edited by Nivek

We made it to church on time as did SIL and her fam. MIL there 1 hour and 15 minutes early. Sisters kids were hooligans and they had to leave 25 mins into the service. Probably over a hundred kids there and they were the only two with issues but that wasn’t a surprise.

Showed up at the house and BIL was hammered and sweating bullets. Under control for now though. 

SIL is doing a great job of keeping MIL in check. It will turn into fighting by tomorrow for sure. This thing always starts off slow.

A couple of things to look for tomorrow. Does BIL bring a trashy girl over? What do I get from MIL for Christmas. I got a dustpan  two years ago along with a lecture that mine was too flimsy.

For those of you offering advice: take it to the Dr. fucking Phil thread. This is for bitching. Also, I’m winning the long game. The crazier they act, the less I have to come here. Down from about 15 days a year to 5. 

Should have handed the dustpan to your wife and told her that her mother accidentally put your name on her gift.

 

9 hours ago, ABSR said:

This is fools gold.  They will patch things up in time to ruin your Saturday football viewing.  
 

Moose our front should’a told ya.

It was a close call brother. Sis in law calls her, she’s in the other room on phone for 30 + mins. I thought the dream was dead. She comes back out crying and pissed saying she’s “done with her”. If all goes to plan, stupid birthday parties might be thrown out the window too. Sis Inlaw is an uptight bitch, who always hosts Wife’s side of the family for every Holiday, events...etc, and everyone caters to her. 
 

 Best Xmas present yet!
 

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals! 

9 minutes ago, BradInATX said:

Should have handed the dustpan to your wife and told her that her mother accidentally put your name on her gift.

 

That would have actually worked because she doesn’t put names on the gifts and we have to switch them around after we open them most years.

50 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

The bomb.. it dropped ..for me anyway

Bitch ass sister sent me a text with pics of my military records I thought had been lost for the past billion years.

Nothing but a "Hahaha look what I have! " with it

I dont know the story of how she got them yet, but the rage and thoughts of fire bombing her home are growing.... fuck

It looks like my seperation paper work which I had with me when returning.

 

I take it this is a bad thing. 

 

Nothing to report here. My family is super normal.


Only thing i have for tonight is my dad thought the $1.89 jar of traditional Ragu sauce for my nieces and daughter was absolutely delicious. He thought it was from an italian market/ restaurant in St Paul he frequents. LOL. Hes a real meat and potatoes eater.

Merry fuckin' Christmas

 

Nothing to report here. My family is super normal.


Only thing i have for tonight is my dad thought the $1.89 jar of traditional Ragu sauce for my nieces and daughter was absolutely delicious. He thought it was from an italian market/ restaurant in St Paul he frequents. LOL. Hes a real meat and potatoes eater.




Cosetta? Did he think Ragu was Cosetta?
48 minutes ago, cactusflinthead said:

I take it this is a bad thing. 

 

If she pulls some bullshit...... yes..

Luckily it will be over soon... she is an idiot.

Edited by MissingInAction

We’re at my SIL’s house. My wife cooked dinner for our family, her mom, our nieces, SIL, SIL’s live-in boyfriend, SIL’s best friend and her live-in boyfriend. 
 

SIL, nieces, and the boyfriend ate dinner with the boyfriend’s family. They did eat a 2nd dinner with us when they returned an hour later than scheduled. Good thing we’re heading home tomorrow or my wife would kill someone. My drinking schedule was uninterrupted, so I’m all good. Hopefully, my wife will be in a better mood tomorrow and give it up. 

Edited by HornPhD
Added more info

9 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Does BIL bring a trashy girl over?

FYI, rules don’t take Christmas Day off.

Edited by HenryJames

FYI, rules don’t take Christmas Day off.


Agreed. We need to see the trashy.
17 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

FYI, rules don’t take Christmas Day off.

What are we, farmers?

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.